Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six (34 page)

“Uh, fixing my face.” I snapped the compact shut.

“I saw you look into the mirror and wipe lipstick off the corner of your mouth. Like you could see it.” Flo grabbed the compact, opened it and stared into the mirror. “Pah! No magic there.” She held it up to me and gasped. “No, I don’t believe it.” She waved it in front of me, then in front of her, back and forth five or six times, testing it.

The same group of students surged out of the bathroom again and I pulled Flo into that empty break room.

“Come here. Let me explain.” I really didn’t want to, but what choice did I have?

“Jeremiah got up to come see about you, but I insisted it was a woman’s matter so I came instead. And I find this!” Flo staggered over to the couch and collapsed. “You tell me. How did you get a reflection, Glory?”

“Uh, well, I—” I stammered, not sure where to start.

“Let me, dear girl.” Caryon shimmered into view, Spyte by his side. The room filled with a cloud of sweetness that tonight had a hint of cinnamon.

“You like? We followed you to the mall, Glory. They make those giant cinnamon rolls. They smell sooo delicious. It does give us a little something extra, don’t you think? To add a little flavoring?” Spyte settled next to Flo on the couch. “Picked up a few souls while we were there. Those crafty creatures who man the carts. Very eager to make a deal for extra profits, don’t you know.” He smiled at Flo, showing her his mouthful of fangs.

“Get away from me, you hell creature!” She jumped up and grabbed my arm. “Glory, what are they doing here?”

“They are the ones who gave me my reflection. They’re trying to persuade me to do Lucifer’s work. To get me to harvest souls for him.”

“Hah! You are barking up the wrong tree stump here, you creatures from the black lagoon! You monsters from the depths of wherever!” Flo clutched me to her bosom, so overwrought she wrinkled her dress. “You cannot have my BFF. Go back where you came from. Roast your skinny asses somewhere else.” Flo’s eyes were shining and she actually stomped her foot, her metal shoe rattling.

“Now, Florence, is that any way to talk to someone who could make your own dreams come true?” Caryon’s voice was smooth as butter melting over a stack of pancakes.

I eased away from Flo and looked into her eyes. “Careful now, Flo. Don’t listen to him. He’s going to give you his sales pitch.” I gasped when I felt a sucker punch in the stomach. I looked down. Nothing there, but Spyte blew on his fist, like maybe he’d done it with the power of his thoughts. As if a little pain could stop me. But he sent me a mental message to watch my mouth or I could be a statue in a heartbeat. Okay, I got that.

“Sales pitch? I have resisted the best saleswomen in the world, you dung-heap dweller!” Flo stalked up to Caryon and had the nerve to poke him in his chest with a copper-lacquered nail. “I have listened to them claim I looked good in chiffon poofs. Hah! You think I didn’t know better? Poofs on my butt? ‘Try them,’ they said. ‘Exquisite.’ Unloading last year’s rejects. I see through that. And I see through you.”

“But I see through you, dear lady.” Caryon ignored Flo’s finger stabbing and grinned at me. “Such spirit. Such fire. She will soon be Lucifer’s favorite.”

I started to say something but Spyte hit me again, a real stomach burner, and I gasped, breathless and speechless.

“Oh, yes, all your dreams will come true, dear lady.” Caryon sighed. “Just think for a minute.”

“What are you talking about? I have everything I ever dreamed of. A wonderful husband, a new house with the most magnificent closet—” Flo grabbed my arm. “Glory, I didn’t tell you. While we were gone, Ricardo had the bedroom next to the master made into this closet. It
is
a dream. All organized and filled with my things.
Magnifico!
”

“Yes, Glory, you really should see it.” Spyte danced around the room, finally landing right in front of Flo. “It even has a three-way mirror at one end. So the lady of the house can see herself from every angle.” He pulled a face. “Except the designer didn’t know that
this
lady can’t see a damned thing, can she, Florence?”

“What a shame.” Caryon studied the polish on his brown wingtip shoes. His suit was a cream silk, his tie a brown, peach and silver work of art. “And that meant you left the house tonight with a thread dangling loose on the back of your skirt.”

“No!” Flo twisted, trying to see what Cary was talking about. “Glory, look, is there . . . ?”

“How do you know what’s in her house?” Suddenly I was allowed to speak.

“Basic research, Glory dear.” Cary inspected his perfectly manicured nails. “I can describe the homes of all of your nearest and dearest. Right down to whether their toilet paper rolls over or under.”

“Glory, please. Is there a thread?” Flo grabbed my arm.

This time my stomach heaved without Spyte’s help. Demons spying on all my friends? Flo’s nails dug into my skin so I glanced and, sure enough, a thread stuck out from the center back seam.

“Yes.” I sighed. “Sorry, Flo. I can’t pull it or it might damage the fabric, make it pucker.”

“I am not
perfetto
!” Her eyes filled.

“Of course you’re not. How can you be when you can’t ever see the total picture?” Caryon smiled, never letting his true ugly nature show. “Look at me. I’m wearing a custom-tailored Italian suit. My suit, my tie, every part of my outfit is perfectly fitted and coordinated. And, of course, my hair is just right. I hate to tell you, but the back of your updo is a giant don’t.” This time his smile showed just a hint of fang.

“What? Glory?” Flo put frantic fingers to the back of her hair.

“Okay, Cary, cut it out. When she got here, her hair was fine. You obviously messed with it.” I could see that, yes, he’d done a number on her hair, turning it into a rat’s nest. “Relax, Flo, you can fix it.”

“Stop torturing me.” Flo’s lips quivered. “I will never help a demon. I am good. My husband is a saint. There is no way I can work for the Devil. Go away.”

“Of course. No problem.” Spyte pointed at the full-length mirror on the back of the door and Flo shrieked.

Suddenly, she could see herself, from head to toe. “
Mio Dio.
Is it me, Glory?”

“Yes, Flo.” I glared at Spyte. “What’s up? Why are you doing this? I told you to leave my friends alone.”

“And we obey you because?” Spyte laughed. “Come on, this one looks like an easy takedown.”

Flo was busy with her purse, reapplying her lipstick, fussing with her eyebrows and straightening her hair. She leaned closer to inspect her skin.

“Flo, honey, step away from the mirror.” I walked up behind her and grasped her shoulders.

“Look at us, Glory.” She smiled at our reflections. “We are beautiful, no?”

“Yes, you are, anyway. But this is the Devil’s handiwork. These guys are trying to lure you over to the dark side. What would Richard say?” I tried to pull her back but she wasn’t budging and she ignored what I’d said completely.

“I think I look old. Do you have any idea how many hundreds of years it has been since I’ve seen myself? I had forgotten . . .” She leaned forward, peering intently at her teeth, her fangs. “This is not good. I must get some of those whitening strips, I think.”

“Flo, listen to me. This is a slippery slope.” I looked around but Cary and Spyte had disappeared, obviously sure that they’d laid the groundwork. I was afraid they were right.

“You must come to my house. See my new closet. After the band and the dancing.” She finally dragged her eyes from the mirror. “See, the
diavolos
are gone. It is a little gift. I don’t know why they are toying with me and I don’t care. If they can see through me, they must know I am not going to do anything for
them
. Ever. But, in the meantime, they gave both of us a reflection. We can enjoy it and not feel guilty.” She grinned and bounced on her weird metal shoes. “I am happy. We will go to my house and see ourselves in the three-way mirror. Just wait.”

I followed Flo upstairs, amazed that she could chatter with the men and fool even her husband into thinking that everything was normal. Demons never did anything without expecting payback. If Flo thought she could just enjoy her reflection and not suffer for it? Well, I could tell her there was no way in hell that was happening.

 

It took some doing, but we got the guys settled into Richard’s man cave in front of his big-screen TV and a car race before Flo and I headed upstairs to see her closet. This was the first time I’d been to Flo and Richard’s new house and I was impressed. It was obviously expensive, on a hilltop with a spectacular view of the lights of the city.

“Damian found it for us. You know my brother owns houses everywhere in Austin. He sold it to Ricardo for a good price.” Flo was practically running as she headed upstairs. “This is the master bedroom.” She threw open double doors. A king-size bed dominated the large space. There was a terrace and balcony off the bedroom to take advantage of that view, but I could see automatic blackout drapes that would close at sunrise.

“It’s gorgeous.” I wasn’t lying. The cream and gold room was decorated with fine antiques, and an Oriental rug covered most of the hardwood floor. My fingers itched to touch some of the lacquered boxes that rested on the long dresser, not to mention the jade and ivory carvings displayed in a tall shelving unit.

“The pretty pieces from the Orient are Ricardo’s. He’s collected for centuries. One of his hobbies. I had no idea when I married him that he had so much in storage.” Flo threw this information over her shoulder as she hurried to another set of double doors. “There’s a decadent bathroom over there with a Jacuzzi tub, steam shower, you name it, and a closet I gave to Richard.” She sighed and paused for dramatic effect. “But this is mine, all mine.” She threw open the doors.

My jaw dropped. What had obviously been a good-size bedroom was now a walk-in closet painted in shades of cream and turquoise. It had shelves for purses and shoes with racks for dresses, pants and blouses. A dozen drawers were closed but labeled and I could see that she had many for lingerie, scarves and belts.

Flo had made a beeline for the three-way mirror at the end of the room. It was flanked by large windows with their own blackout drapes.

“Look at me. Ah, scissors.” She pulled out a shallow drawer filled with every kind of manicure accessory and found a pair of sharp scissors. “Will you cut off the thread? Carefully, of course. I have to go back to the men wearing this same dress.”

“Sure. Stand still.” I said this because Flo was so hyped on adrenaline, she was practically vibrating. I clipped the offending thread, then handed her the scissors. “This closet is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Isn’t it? You see why I love Ricardo so much? He understands me and indulges my passions.” She winked at me. “All of them.”

“You are very lucky.” I unzipped her when she gestured for me to. “What now?”

“I’ve got to see myself in . . .” She began going through her racks. “Oh, which one first? My wedding dress. The most special night of my life.” She blinked as tears filled her eyes. “No, what if I think I could have done better? This? I wore it to a coronation. No, no, I’d better hurry. What if they take this away?” She began flipping through dresses, becoming almost manic until she tried holding a few up in front of the mirror.

“This color! What was I thinking?” She crammed the dress into a small trash can but I rescued it. Definitely could sell it in the shop.

“I did the same thing, Flo. Gold. Not my color.” I settled on a zebra-print velvet bench in the middle of the room. “Take a breath and try something on.” I had to admit, seeing my tiny friend running around in a bra and bikini panties was depressing. She was so totally unaware of her body. And why not? From where I sat, it was perfect.

“You are right. Calm, must stay calm.” She patted her cheeks and sat at the built-in vanity. “Makeup. I should never wear a coral blush again. Rose or pink, I think.” She turned from the mirror to me. “This is a wonderful thing. This reflection.”

My stomach sank. “No, Flo, it’s an evil thing. From the Devil. Demons gave it to you and they can take it away.” My throat started to close. “Uh, try on a dress.” This came out as a croak.

“Yes. One I bought last week. Those clerks.” Flo made a hand gesture as she jumped up and dug into her dress section one more time. “They will say anything to make a sale.”

“Well, thanks a lot. I’m a clerk too, you know. I’ve been known to tell the truth and lose a sale.” My voice was back. I guess as long as I didn’t dis the demons, I was good to go. Flo stopped with the dress in her hand and gazed at herself in her underwear.

“
Aye de mi.
What is this?” She looked down and grabbed the skin at her waist. “I am fat!”

“Don’t cry to me.” I laughed. “Honey, if that little bit is fat, then I’m an elephant.” I shook my head. “Just put on the dress. I’m sure Richard doesn’t complain about your waistline.”

“No, of course not. He’s not stupid. But what does he know?” She stepped into the dress and backed up to me so I could zip her up. She turned and faced the mirror. “I knew it. I hate it. The print makes my butt look huge.”

I’d glanced at the price tag still hanging from it. I didn’t know what currency they’d been using, but it obviously wasn’t cheap.

“First, your butt isn’t huge and couldn’t look that way if you tried. And, second, that blue is really your color. Third? No one is going to be focusing on your butt with the front dipping that low between your boobs.”

“True. I do have good breasts.” Flo turned this way and that. “I still can’t believe I can see myself. This is amazing.” She turned to me. “How about you, Glory? Don’t you love it?”

“Not so much. Because I know with demons, there’s always payback.” I jumped when Caryon and Spyte suddenly appeared in front of me.

“So glad you brought that up, Glory.” Cary waved his hand and Flo’s reflection vanished. “Playtime is over, pay time is here.”