Reality Check (20 page)

Keiran is crying now and all I can do is look at her. “What did she do to you?” I whisper.

“I've been too embarrassed to tell you guys,” Keiran sniffles. “That's what Addison wanted to talk to me about after lunch that day at the Windjammer. Susan thinks my babysitting spots are lame, I have no personality, and my parents are dull. She suggested I pick a fight with them to jazz things up. I almost died when I heard that.”

“Susan told me if Keiran's story lines didn't improve, she wanted to phase her out.” Addison's voice cracks. “And she wanted me to be the one to tell Keiran. I felt awful about it. I came up with all these scenarios to save Keiran's story line, but it made me sick to my stomach to have to do it. Keiran's life is real and we shouldn't have to fake it to make it appear more interesting.”

“Addison broke down when she saw me break down,” Keiran tells us, and smiles at Addison. “That's when she confessed everything to me. I've known the truth about Susan for a few weeks now, but I couldn't tell you guys. I didn't want Addison to get in trouble and I knew you were talking to Susan, Charlie, and you were so mad at Addison. I couldn't tell you what was going on without the risk of causing more problems.”

“Kiki, you've been holding this in the whole time?” Now I feel even worse.

Keiran nods. “Addison's been trying to help me with my segments, but it's hard to concentrate. All I want is off this show. I've just been too ashamed to tell you two, especially after what happened with Brooke. I didn't want you guys to be mad at me for wanting to leave. I couldn't stand losing another friend because of this stupid show.” She's crying really hard now.

“You could never lose us.” I hug Keiran. “You should't have held all this in. We could have helped you.”

“What happened with Keiran made me really see how Susan's ways were affecting you guys,” Addison confesses. “The crew doesn't get involved so they don't know what is going on, but I couldn't handle it. I confronted Susan and she basically threatened me to keep quiet or I'd never get another producing job again. But I'm not sure I want one if this is what it takes.” Addison's eyes are watery. “This isn't a drama or a sitcom. She's messing with people's lives.”

Addison takes another sip of her iced coffee and the rest of us hold our breath, waiting to hear more. “She's the one who found Danny. She didn't even tell me about him! She's the one who let Brooke bring Marleyna on. Susan loves the controversy she's caused between you guys. When I told her that Marleyna was destroying your friendship with Brooke, she didn't care. She only cares about what makes good television. She gave Marleyna a contract, but I know, Charlie, she told you it was me who did. She said not to tell you that she was suggesting it. It was just the way things were done.” Addison looks at the table. “I believed her. What did I know? I've only been at Fire and Ice for two years, and Susan loves to remind me of that. She said if I wanted to create a name for myself I would listen to everything she had to say.” Addison laughs bitterly. “I thought she was trying to be my mentor. Not run the show from behind the scenes. But that's what she's doing.”

“I feel like a fool,” I say shyly. “I just assumed. I mean, you work for Susan. I figured you wanted to make this job the best thing on your resume so you'd do whatever it took.”

Addison shakes her head. “Everyone does things to get ahead in their careers, but if this is how television production works, then I don't want to be a part of it. I should have listened to my mom and become a writer.” She smiles. “That's what I really wanted to do anyway. TV is cruel. I want to sit in an office all day and write by myself.”

Ryan brings over a plate of cookies and puts them in the center of the table. “On the house,” he says and winks at me. The four of us take one.

“So Addison's miserable and we're miserable,” I say in between bites. “What are we going to do about it?”

“You said it yourself—they're not going to let us out of the contract if they're making money,” Keiran says miserably.

“Keiran's right,” Addison agrees. “Susan will never let you guys go. She likes this show and she's determined to do what it takes to make it huge.”

“Which means she may let me go,” Keiran says brightly. “She already thinks I'm dead weight.” This makes her laugh a little. “We just have to figure out how to spring you guys.”

“Kiki, you might be on to something there.” Hallie grabs another cookie. “If Kiki is boring and Susan doesn't want her around, maybe all we have to do is be boring too and she'll let us go.”

I shake my head. “Won't it be obvious if we're all suddenly sullen and drab? Susan will just come up with new scenarios to make us more exciting.”

“Maybe you can't be boring, but you can be honest,” Addison suggests. “The last thing Susan wants is bad publicity. Fire and Ice already has enough PR problems with
Surf's Up
and all the fights those boys get into. She wanted
The Cliffs
to be anything but problematic.”

“So what do you suggest?” I ask, intrigued.

“The one thing Susan can't stand is negative press,” Addison tells us. “Scandalous details and catfights, she adores. Right now you're giving her exactly what she wants. But if you were to somehow start telling the truth about how fabricated some of the story lines were, what happened on your date with Danny, well, then Susan might go off the deep end.” Addison smiles devilishly.

“Would she be mad enough to fire us?” Hallie asks hopefully.

“She might,” Addison says. “Or she could make your lives miserable and hold you to the contract. She can be vindictive so there is no way of telling.”

We're all quiet. I'm sure we're wondering the same thing: How do we get kicked off
The Cliffs
without making things worse for ourselves? Whatever we do has to be on a scale so big that Susan can't deny what we're saying is the truth. “I've got it!” I yell. “We need to do a live show!”

“That's perfect!” Addison agrees. “
The Apprentice
has done one.
Dancing with the Stars
does it all the time. Live TV is one way Susan couldn't stop you.”

I'm all wound up. “Think of all the ways they could publicize it.”

“I don't get it.” Keiran is confused. “How would a live show help our cause?”

“If we bash Susan and the show on live network television they won't be able to edit it and they'll be forced to let us go,” I tell them excitedly. I look at Addison. “Susan would be so humiliated that she'd have to terminate us immediately, no?”

“What if she sues us for defamation of character?” Hallie asks worriedly.

“Yeah, Charlie, maybe bashing Susan isn't the best idea,” Addison agrees. “But I do like the live show idea. If you reveal how the show really works it still makes everyone look bad.”

“What about Brooke?” Keiran points out. “She'll try to stop us.”

“She won't know what we're up to,” I insist. “All she'll know is that the show is live.”

“I feel kind of bad,” Hallie says, sounding sheepish. “Brooke loves the show.” We all look at her like she's crazy. “I know she's not our friend anymore, but you see how happy it makes her.”

“I'm not sure ‘happy’ is the word,” I say dryly.

“Maybe you won't ruin it for her,” Addison says. “Brooke won't say anything bad about the show. She'll come out sparkling clean. Susan can always spin off the Brooke and Marleyna show. I'm sure they would love it.”

“But what about you?” Keiran asks quietly. “You'll be fired for helping us.”

I forgot about that. Now that I know the truth about Addison, the last thing I want is to take her down. “I don't want you to take the fall for us.”

“I sort of got you guys into this and I'm going to help you get out,” Addison says firmly. “I want off this show too. I'm not sure TV is for me anyway. The hours, being so far from home all the time, taking orders all day long. The stress… my acupuncturist says it's doing bad things for my qi.” She smiles. “I've been thinking about things a lot the past few days and I think I want to go back to school and get my master's in communication. Who knows? Maybe I'll work at a magazine or write a book about Susan—it could be
The Devil Wears Prada
of the television industry.”

“I would read that.” I smile. I look at Hallie and Keiran. “So what do you guys think?”

“I think it could really work,” Hallie says excitedly.

“I'm one hundred percent behind this,” Keiran agrees.

“You're sure?” Addison asks. “It's a lot to give up, you know. Not everyone is ready to walk away from the fame, the money, the perks.”

I look at my friends, the ones I have left. Brooke is a totally different person now. I don't think we'll ever be friends again. The four of us have fought more these last few months than we ever did before Fire and Ice came knocking. Keiran's self-esteem has plummeted, Hallie has been used, and I chose the show over the first guy I ever really liked. We've been damaged enough. It's time to end this. “We want our old lives back,” I say softly.

Addison smiles. “I completely understand. First things first—I have to get Susan behind the live show concept. I might not call her now; after just talking to you, Charlie, she's probably in a bad mood, but I'll call tomorrow. I want to go back to my place and brainstorm. After we get a yes, we'll hash out the details.”

“Brooke and Marleyna will jump at the chance to do live TV.” Hallie's eyes flash mischievously. “They'll be your biggest supporters. Hey, maybe we should tell them we want to have a sit-down on the show to discuss things. That would definitely entice them and Susan.”

Addison laughs. “I love it!”

“We'll do whatever it takes to make this happen,” I insist.

“Good,” says Addison, sounding satisfied. “Because if this is going to work, it's going to take all of us. We need major organization here.”

Hallie and Keiran look at me and try not to laugh. “Don't worry about that,” I tell Addison. “When it comes to being organized, you've come to the right place.”

sixteen

Get Your Game Face On

 

I'm pacing the floor at Milk and Sugar and talking to myself like Lou, that creepy cashier at the Five and Dime in town. Unlike Lou, who is stuck wearing a dull brown worker's shirt, I'm dressed to impress in a green sleeveless mini. I figured if this was my last TV appearance—and probably the one that will be YouTubed the most—I'd better look good.

“Charlie, if you keep doing that, you're going to wear out the linoleum,” Ryan jokes. “Maybe you should sit. Or have a hot chocolate. That always calms you down.”

“Ryan, it's eighty-five degrees out,” I remind him, feeling cranky.

“That's never stopped you before,” Ryan says as he adjusts his apron with the snazzy new Milk and Sugar logo.

I stop in my tracks, and let my shoulders drop. I'm feeling my Meredith whiny side returning. “What if this doesn't work? What if it totally backfires and my life only gets worse? What if someone realizes what we're trying to do?”

“You're doing a live show,” Ryan reminds me, as if I need reminding. “You're going to make mistakes. No one will notice anything odd. Just be your usual, adorable self.”

Ryan knows our game plan—he was there when we discussed it with Addison—but he's the only one. We agreed that the fewer people involved, the better off we were and the safer they were. We didn't want to take anyone else down with us. It's been two weeks, and so far, everything Addison has set up is going according to plan.

When Addison pitched the idea of a live episode centered around a confrontation between Brooke's camp and mine, Susan thought the idea was brilliant. Addison said she ate up the idea of publicizing the episode everywhere from
Us Weekly
to
Teen Vogue
. She even had the press department invite both magazines, plus People.com, to the set for exclusives.

Addison and I were worried that Susan would bring up my irate phone call to her, and of course she did, but
Addison assured her I was just upset about my failed date with Danny and I was fully committed to the show. It's been hard faking things while we waited for the live episode, but Hallie, Keiran, and I managed to shoot our episodes both together and separately—only running into Brooke once at the Crab Shack—without incident. As Hallie pointed out, having a stop date to the show (well, we hope) made filming the last few weeks easier.

Even being ignored by Brooke hasn't been so bad. I watched our latest episode the other night and it's almost like we're on two different shows. There are the Hallie/Keiran/Charlie segments and the Marleyna/Brooke ones, and inevitably at some point in the show, one group will talk smack about the other group. One of the weekly tabloids told Addison their readers can't get enough of the controversy. Apparently I come across as quite sympathetic—the best friend dumped for the fabulous, flashy rich girl—and readers polled are on my side. That news aggravated Marleyna and Brooke, who, the editor told Addison on the down low, have been doing all they can to stay in the gossip mags themselves. Last week they actually sent pizza to the entire staff of one magazine on closing night (which is the night an issue goes to print. They work sometimes till 3 AM!). They included a note saying “We know you're up late! Thought you could use some sustenance. Love, Marleyna and Brooke,
The Cliffs
.”

I guess bribery is Brooke's new weapon these days.

And now, here we are. Less than an hour before everyone is due to film the biggest show we've ever done. Phil, Hank, Kayla, and the crew are setting up angles around the center table in the closed restaurant where our powwow will take place. Addison is running around, BlackBerry glued to her fingers, taking care of last-minute details. Hallie and Keiran should be arriving soon. There's no sign of Brooke and Marleyna yet, but this is real. It's going to happen. And while it might have been my bright idea, now I'm ready to throw up.

“Are you sure you don't want a hot chocolate?” Ryan frowns. “You don't look so good.”

I grab for the nearest chair, reaching a paisley print recliner, and plop into it. “Maybe I will take that drink.” I look just fine—well, physically. My raven hair is wavy and shiny, and my outfit is really cute, if I do say so myself. I'm wearing a snug green tank dress. And I picked it out without Brooke's help!

“Hot cocoa with extra cream,” Ryan recites. “Coming rightup!”

The front door jingles, announcing someone's arrival, but I don't bother to look up. I'm too busy thinking about the things I'm going to say on live TV. Things that can never be taken back. I know I have to say them—I want to say them—but I'm petrified.

“Charlie?”

I look up. “Zac!” I spring out of my chair. “What are you doing here?” I panic.

“Looking for you,” he says with a grin.

He looks as good today as he did yesterday at our weekly paper meeting, or the day before that when he came to school with stubble after oversleeping and not having time to shave. (I overheard him tell one of the guys that. Not me. I'm still sort of keeping my distance.) He smells terrific—that can't just be soap, can it?—and I can't stop staring at his eyes. I wish I could stare at them all day. They're very calming.

“Do you have a minute?” Zac interrupts my fantasy. He grabs the chair next to mine. “It's kind of important.”

Wait. What? A minute? To talk? I glance at the clock. No, no, no. Not now. “Actually I don't,” I say even though it
kills me.

His face drops. “Just hear me out. I know I was a jerk about things, but I've been doing a lot of thinking—”

“You weren't a jerk,” I tell him. “It's just—”

The jingle on the door makes me jump. Addison's face is grave.

“Zac, can you give me a second?” I ask. I rush across the room.

“Susan is coming,” Addison practically whispers. “She wouldn't miss the opportunity to talk to the press about
her
brilliant idea to do a live show.” Addison rolls her eyes. “That woman is a grown-up Marleyna.” Addison glances over my shoulder. “You've got to get Zac out of here.”

I cut her off. “I'm on it.”

“Work fast,” Addison tells me as she glances at her BlackBerry. “Susan just turned off the highway and is only twenty minutes away.”

“Sorry about that,” I apologize to Zac. “We're shooting a live episode today and everyone is really nervous.”

“I heard,” Zac says.

“You did?” I ask. “How?”

He smiles his picture-perfect grin. “E! Online, People.com, the Cliffside High halls. Word travels fast in this town.”

“Don't I know it,” I deadpan. If one more person at school asks about my fight with Brooke, I'll scream. “Anyway, my executive producer is showing up in a few minutes and I have to get ready.”

Zac's face is suddenly serious. “That's why I'm here. Confession time. That day you were going on a date with another guy, I realized I was making a big mistake.”

He did?

“I shouldn't have let you slip away just because I didn't want to be on the show,” Zac says regretfully. “I'm sure we can work something out. TV isn't something I want to do, but if you're into it, I could make more of an effort.” His face is hopeful.

And then, before my jaw can fall off my face completely, he adds this: “I like you, Charlie. Too much to be scared away by some cameras.”

Oh. My. God. I've fantasized Zac would say this a million times. But not today!

He looks around the room and smiles. “Besides, you said it's short-term, right?”

Shorter than you know, I want to tell him. But I can't explain right at this moment, as much as I want to. I grab his hand tightly. “Zac, I really want to talk to you about this, but something major is about to go down and I have to take care of this first.”

The doorbell jingles again and I see Brooke and Marleyna. They see me and start to whisper. I push Zac toward the door. “You have to get out of here. I promise I'll explain everything later.”

“Charlie, what's going on?” Zac asks. “Are you okay?”

“I will be.” I'm honest. “You just have to trust me.”

I open the door for him just in time. Susan is walking up to the store as I push Zac out. She is wearing a fitted khaki pantsuit and high heels. She's too busy reading her BlackBerry to notice him. I give Susan a wave. I'm surprised I can even lift my arm.

“What was that?” Hallie freaks as she skirts up next to me with Keiran at her side. They both look great for their final close-up. Hallie is in skinny jeans and a flirty lavender tank top that matches her flip-flops. Keiran is in a mini-dress, like me, hers paisley and white, which showcases her darkening tan. She always gets a good one early.

I can barely breathe I'm so freaked out. I'm still in utter disbelief over what just happened. “Zac wants to be with me. TV show or no TV show.”

“I knew Zac was a good guy,” Keiran says, and plays with her ponytail. “What did you say?”

“I told him I couldn't talk right now,” I say miserably.

“You'll explain everything later,” Hallie assures me, and pulls me with them. “First we have to deal with the elephant in the room.”

Susan is chatting with Addison, who has her headset on, and two women I don't recognize. Brooke and Marleyna are with them. Both are in red, which I find kind of funny. Marleyna has on red shorts, a navy dress shirt knotted at her waist, and navy heels. Brooke is in a red slip dress.

“I don't think I can come clean with Susan standing feet away.” Keiran chews a strand of hair nervously. “It's like standing calmly by while a ship sinks—and we're the ones sinking it.”

I put my hands on her shoulders and steady her. “It's pretty much us or her,” I remind Keiran. “This is our one shot at freedom. If we don't take it, we may never get another one. We have to go for it.”

“But not too quickly,” Hallie stresses. “The show is twenty-two minutes with commercials so we have to remember what Addison said. We have to pace our put-downs.”

Keiran groans. “So I have to look at the second hand on my watch to time my bashings? This is torture. No wonder Susan wanted me off the show. I don't have the guts to do this.”

“Yes, you do,” I say firmly. “You're ten trillion times better than Susan realizes.” I smile. “Today will prove it.”

Susan's clicking heels announce her arrival. “Hi, girls,” she says cheerfully, sounding just as bubbly as she did the first time she talked to me at Milk and Sugar. Her hair is pin-straight. “The network is buzzing over tonight's live show,” she says. “Addison told me you girls came up with the idea yourselves. Who was the mastermind?”

Mastermind is more fitting than Susan realizes. “Uh.” We all look at each other. “It was a group decision,” I tell her.

“I was just telling the same thing to Brooke and Marleyna,” Susan confides. “A live show is a great opportunity for all of you girls to air out your differences. There should be no secrets between friends.”

Funny coming from Susan, who has thrived on keeping secrets from all of us. “You're absolutely right,” I tell Susan with a smile.

She grabs my hand. Hers is ice cold. “And how are you doing, Charlie?” She pulls me close so that only I can hear her. “Your last phone call had me quite concerned.”

“Sorry about that,” I apologize. “My head was a little loopy from my date with Danny. I wasn't thinking clearly.”

Susan nods. “It happens. Just remember, I'm an executive producer for a reason. Anything I do, I do for the best of the show, which includes you.”

“I understand that now,” I tell her sweetly.

Satisfied, Susan walks away. Now it's Addison's turn for a pep talk of a different kind. “Okay, we have thirty minutes before we go on,” she reminds us. “Since this is live they're going to fix your makeup. Brooke's and Marleyna's are being done now. We'll want this to look like it's unfolding in front of the viewers’ eyes so some of you will repeat your entrance into the restaurant.” Addison takes a deep breath. “Are you ready?” The three of us look at each other and nod. “Good luck,” she whispers.

The next twenty-five minutes are a blur. Hank mics us and goes over our cues—Marleyna and Brooke will walk through the door and Hallie, Keiran, and I will already be seated at a table. Hallie and Keiran get their makeup retouched while I do an initial interview with the reporters.

I stay focused and keep my tone light, but inside I'm flipping out. Addison looks like she's ready to pass out too, and I feel like Susan is watching every move I make. Keiran is right. Taking down our own TV show is a lot scarier than I realized. But when I feel myself start to hyperventilate, I think about Zac. He was willing to give up a lot for me. I should be able to stand up for myself and get my life back on track.

After getting my makeup done, I pass through the kitchen, where hair and makeup are. On my way, I bump into Brooke. Instead of brushing past me, which is her new norm, she stops short when she sees me.

“Hey,” she says in a tone that isn't biting for once. Maybe that's because Marleyna isn't with her.

“Hey,” I say back, surprised.

“Ready for tonight?” she asks.

I nod. “You?” Brooke nods too. We stare at each other awkwardly.

This might be my last chance to spill my guts to her. I have to know for sure our friendship is gone before I let it slip away forever. “I don't know what happened to us, Brooke,” I say before she can walk away. “We've been best friends forever. I thought the four of us could survive anything thrown our way. And as ugly as things have gotten, I miss your laugh, the way you critique an outfit, your no-nonsense answers. I miss us.” I search her blank face. “Do you think there is any chance we could go back?”