Re/Bound (Doms of the FBI Book 1) (27 page)

Keith’s smirk indicated the drift of his buddy’s thoughts. However Keith wasn’t the kind of man who would give voice to those comments in a situation like this. “I’ll give you that. There’s something about her that’s really genuine. While that’s a great trait, it’s not unique enough to convince a jury that it drove Snyder to kill over it. And it does nothing to help prove fraud, embezzlement, money laundering, or the pump-and-dump schemes.”

“I’m working on those.” Malcolm had found almost nothing, and it frustrated the hell out of him. If he had something, he could keep Darcy completely out of this. “I want permission to tell Darcy who I am and what I’m investigating. I think I can get her to agree to pretend to do what he wants. It’ll let me deeper into the company, and I’ll be able to access more intel.”

Keith shook his head, the action both a negative answer and an expression of sympathy. “Mal, I’m under specific orders to keep her in the dark. I believe she’s innocent, but that’s because I have a faith in you that everyone at the Bureau would be questioning if they knew you were having a relationship with an asset. I know what a picky bastard you are, and so I know what she means to you for you to even consider asking for this permission.”

An employee came out of the back door and threw a bag of trash into the large brown bin. Malcolm leaned his head against the seat rest. “If I manipulate her into agreeing, she’s going to hate me. I’m going to lose her.”

At silence from his best friend, Malcolm turned to see if his desperate plea had any effect on Keith. His friend and handler sat still and stared out the window, facing away from Malcolm.

Finally Keith sighed. “I’ll see what I can do, but don’t hold your breath.” He reached for the door handle. “For what it’s worth, Mal? If she loves you, she’ll get over being pissed off that you lied to her, especially when you bring down Snyder. If your hunch is correct and he is responsible for murdering Yataines, she can’t hold it against you forever.”

Keith left, and Malcolm sat in his car, thinking about the situation. He didn’t know if she loved him. He knew she liked him a lot. He knew she had a lot of affection for him. But love? He wasn’t convinced she’d moved on enough to take that kind of leap with him. After all, she hadn’t actually submitted to him yet.

And that bothered the hell out of him.

Chapter Twelve

Darcy knew she had a serene smile on her face. Her ass burned pleasantly, and the lips of both her pussy and mouth tingled with occasional reminders of Theo’s affection. The pitch meeting had been in downtown Detroit, and it had taken almost three hours to talk the group of three through the benefits of hiring someone to write grants and coordinate their implementation.

She hadn’t removed Theo’s little gift, though it did force her to sit still when nervousness made her want to fidget. The smallest shift in position made it rub erotically over her clit.

If things went well with this project, she would be able to kiss Snyder Corporation good-bye without any financial regrets. As a matter of fact, she would actually earn more through this project because it would allow her to take on several smaller projects that each stood a good chance of gaining the notice of powerful philanthropists.

Once she made it to her car, she called Layla to thank her for the referral. Without the good word her friend had put in, the selective members of the Future Beat committee wouldn’t have agreed to step outside their normal realm of contacts.

“I talked you up to them a lot.” On the other end of the line, Layla hesitated. “Then I realized that I might have gushed about you too much. I’m glad it went well.”

The parking garage Darcy had used exited right into construction. She inched forward, relieved when a stopped car waved for her to turn into his lane. Lifting her hand in thanks, she did just that. Who said drivers in Michigan were angry and rude?

“They loved my proposal. They signed a contract right there in the room without asking to think about it first. I owe you big-time, girl. You name the favor, and I’m there.” Traffic suddenly broke, and she headed toward the freeway.

Layla laughed. “Funny you should say that. I need help this Saturday putting together care packages for active-service soldiers. I don’t suppose you’re free?”

Theo hadn’t mentioned having plans this Saturday, but he inevitably headed to his apartment to collect mail and pay bills. He often visited with his family. She wondered when he would begin inviting her on his trips. They were coming to that point in their relationship where they either took the plunge and met each other’s families, or they began winding down because they weren’t compatible.

Her heart ached at the thought of the latter happening.

She forced a laugh. “For you I’ll make sure I’m free. Text me your address and the time, and I’ll be there.”

It looked like Layla was moving from the “colleague” category to the “personal friend” category. Darcy knew it would have happened sooner and faster if she hadn’t been so preoccupied with her problems for the past year. The change, the firming up of their friendship, brought Darcy a sense of happy satisfaction.

When she arrived home, she found her front door open. Since she’d given Theo a key, she didn’t think anything was amiss. The coolness of the May afternoon breeze whisked through the screen door and freshened the air within.

Miss Priss sat near the doorway to her office, cleaning her paw. She looked up at Darcy briefly before returning to her business. Darcy let her file-heavy shoulder bag drop to the floor. The loud
thump
reminded her that her laptop was in there too. “Theo?”

He appeared at the other end of the hall, in the doorway to the kitchen. The afternoon sun filtered around her to bathe him in light. “Hey, sweetheart. How was the meeting?”

When they were in a scene, he always called her sweetheart when issuing praise or commands. The word washed over her now, an afterglow that brought a flush of remembrance. “Excellent. They signed a contract before I left. That’s why I’m home a little late.”

The spicy scent of takeout from their favorite Thai place competed with the spring breeze. He motioned her closer, and her legs obeyed without consulting her brain, not that she minded. She wanted to be in his arms.

He wrapped them around her and pushed her against the door frame. His erection pressed into her abdomen, making her even more conscious of the rope wound around her waist and crotch. “That’s fabulous.”

Reaching under her skirt, he loosened the magic knot that let the rope slide down her legs. He gathered it into a ball and threw it onto the cherry table along the slanted wall below the stairs.

He closed his mouth over hers and swept his tongue in, taking over and demanding her surrender in a way he had never attempted. Sure, he’d been forceful and dominating, but he only did that when she expected it. This break from the pattern threw her off center, but she wound her arms around his neck and adjusted.

Theo wasn’t having any of that, however. For once he demanded a complete, immediate surrender. He closed his hands around her wrists and pinned them behind her back. This position let him use the small of her back to press her body closer. Even though part of her wanted the vulnerability of this position, the urge to hit him, to fight back with everything she had almost overrode her self-control.

She jerked one hand free and pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss. “Theo, what are you doing?”

His eyes narrowed, and he released her. “Dinner is ready. Let’s eat.” He turned his lean, strong back on her and crossed to the counter on the far side of the kitchen.

Darcy couldn’t help but think she’d done something to displease him. Mild outrage replaced any guilt she might have felt over failing to please him. She couldn’t find it in her heart to apologize for resisting his attempt to exercise dominance. They hadn’t talked about having a bondage scene this evening.

He lifted two glasses filled with water and set them on the table next to plates he’d already piled with food. “Come on and eat. Tell me how you hooked them and reeled them into your web.”

Sinking into her seat, she eyed him warily. “You’re mixing your metaphors.”

“Yep.”

She reached across the small table and closed her hand over his. “Theo, what’s wrong?”

Several thoughts and emotions flickered through his deep brown eyes. His jaw set. “I finished the website addition. Your documents are uploaded and your forms are finished. I can show it to you if you want to come in tomorrow. It’s not live, so we can’t access it from anywhere but there. I can have it up for remote viewing by Monday.”

Heat spread up her neck as she realized he must have worked extra hard to finish, and he’d only done it because she had freaked out about it. “Thank you, Theo. I’m sorry about the way I snapped at you this afternoon. I didn’t mean to nag you.”

He laughed. “I had most of it ready to go, sweetheart. It was a matter of finishing a few protocols. Also Victor invited us to dinner next Thursday.”

The way he threw that caveat in there completely tore Darcy’s attention away from the other issues. She’d been to dinner parties at Victor’s house before. They always started late and ended late, and guests spent the entire time kowtowing to Victor’s ego.

Echoes of the warning she’d issued earlier grew louder in her brain. Withdrawing her hands, she folded them in her lap. She dropped her gaze to stare at the mounds of food on her plate, vaguely noting there was enough there to feed three people.

“I have late meetings on Thursday.”

She chanced a peek at his face, though she felt like a complete coward for the way her body language clearly indicated her reticence, to see how Theo took her negative answer. A genuine smile had returned to his face, the first she’d seen since she arrived home. Pride manifested in the crinkles at the corners of his eyes.

“Perhaps another time, then. I know how important making the world a better place is to you.”

That he voiced his reaction without any irony further buoyed her spirits. Strain left the room, and she regaled him with the highlights of her presentation and what it meant for her career.

They cleaned up the dishes and put away the leftovers, and she noticed tension had returned to his shoulders.

She slipped her hands around his waist from behind and leaned her head against his back. “Theo, I wish you would tell me what’s bothering you.”

He didn’t turn or face her, but his body grew tenser. He inhaled and exhaled. “I’ve been thinking about us.”

Now it was her turn to tense. She withdrew her arms and braced her heart for the worst. Though she had only been in two previous long-term relationships, she had been dumped before by men she’d considered casual dates. It always started like this, and it was never pleasant.

He had to have sensed her trepidation, but he didn’t turn to face her or offer comfort. “I keep thinking you’re holding back from me, and then I wonder if maybe I’m expecting too much from you. You aren’t a twenty-four/seven kind of woman, and that’s fine with me. But I get the sense you’re hiding a huge portion of yourself from me.”

Stunned, she couldn’t think of a reply. Silence fell with all the comfort of a building collapsing around her head.

Theo finally turned around, and she remembered how to breathe. He didn’t look angry or like he wanted out. Frustration seemed to be his primary emotion, and once he looked at her, took in a face that was no doubt pale and scared, that frustration grew.

“This relationship isn’t going to work if you don’t trust me.”

She nodded. “I trust you.”

His lips pressed together. It wasn’t the response she had expected.

“Really, I do trust you, Theo. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“You think I’m ending things when I’m trying to have a discussion about the fact that you have yet to truly submit to me.”

That explained the roller coaster of moods he had displayed since she had come home. This was karma paying her back for giving in to PMS earlier. It was always worse when her period was late. She folded her hands over her heart. “You maybe want to lead with that one next time, Theo. This happy-unhappy thing you’ve been doing isn’t a fun ride.”

Leaning back against the edge of the counter, he crossed his arms. “You admit you haven’t submitted to me.”

She nodded and crossed her arms too. Where his pose betrayed a little defensiveness and a lot of aggressiveness, hers was meant to provide comfort and security. The topic he posed could leave her very vulnerable. “I’ve been submissive. I’ve played the game, but no, I haven’t actually submitted to you.”

“Is it because you’re not over Scott?”

Ever since Amy had thrown that brick in his face, she’d known it was going to come back to haunt her. To be fair, Scott was part of the problem. Whether or not she wanted to admit it, his presence hovered over them both.

“It’s really hard to move on when I don’t even know if he’s dead. Nobody ever found his body. If the fucking police had focused on something besides me, maybe I would at least have some closure. In my heart, I know he’s gone. But then doubt creeps in and says, what if he’s not? What if he’s being held in some dank basement somewhere, being tortured while I move on with my life? What does that say about me, Theo? Do you honestly want to be with someone like me?”

He reached out and brushed his thumb under her eye, and she realized she was crying. She hated crying.

“Yes, Darcy, I do. If you were able to completely dismiss someone who meant so much to you, you wouldn’t be the woman I’ve already fallen in love with.” He shook his head and moved away, crossing the room and sinking down at the table. “I keep telling myself I won’t ask for too much too soon. The sane part of my brain knows you need time. A lot of time. It knows I could lose you if I force you to accept me before you’re ready.”

He muttered something else, but she didn’t catch what he said. She wanted to offer comfort, but she didn’t want to force him to back down. Her heart thumped painfully, and she wished there was a manual out there with cheat codes for getting through emotionally draining moments.

His words penetrated, and she realized he had admitted to having fallen in love with her. She couldn’t honestly say the words back to him, not with the way she held back key pieces of her heart.

She didn’t want to lose him, but it wasn’t fair to keep him hanging on when she might never be able to give him what she had given to Scott. Flashes of images and threads of thought bombarded her brain. Opening to the possibilities, she let them coalesce into a complete idea. It was time to move forward. She had to be honest with Theo if she expected him to stick around.

Taking one step, she reached out her hand, but she was still too far away to make contact. “I’m not promising it’ll be smooth sailing to be with me. I have a lot of baggage.”

His dry, mirthless chuckle scraped against the nerves in the back of her neck. “Everyone has baggage. I’m not going to lie to you, though. I wish you would talk about him more. I have such a vague image of him in my head, and it’s really hard to go up against a guy who is so perfect in your eyes.”

Darcy rolled her eyes before she realized it was a wasted gesture. He wasn’t looking at her. “Scott wasn’t perfect. But I accepted his faults the same way I accept your faults.”

He turned and impaled her with a glare. His strong hand gripped the back of the chair next to him. “I haven’t shown you my faults.”

She wiggled her finger in the air, circling the general area of his body. “This pouty thing is a fault. If you want to have a discussion with me, at least have the balls to face me while you do it. You can be arrogant, and you haven’t pushed me when it comes to bondage. Probably because you know if you go full-out, I get to do whatever I want to do with your ass. Those are definite faults.”