Reckless Temptations (The Tempted Series Book 4) (23 page)

“I don’t have a plan, Riggs,” I mumbled.

“Okay, no plan, then,” he said, running his fingers through his hair which I decided was something he did when he was nervous. “You moved back here, right?”

“Yes, I’m staying with Anthony and Adrianna until my mother finds an apartment for us,” I frowned. “That’s temporary. I’m not planning on raising the baby with my mother,” I added.

“You just said you don’t have a plan,” he pointed out.

“Well that much I know,” I snapped. “I will not dump this on my mother’s shoulders. She raised her kids and did it by herself. She did her time,” I said defensively.

“Kitten, calm down,” he said. “I don’t want your mother raising the kid either,” he declared. “And I don’t want you not knowing where you will live. I have an apartment, it’s got two bedrooms and not a stitch of furniture in it but we’ll change that.”

I leaned back and stared as if someone was performing an exorcism on him.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked, because the Riggs I know wouldn’t be instilling hope in a pretty hopeless situation. Yet, in his own way that’s exactly what he was doing. Neither of us had a clue where we went from here, but he was taking the initiative and that was more than I ever imagined he’d do.

“I’m not even sure why I have the apartment, I sleep here every night, but it’s there, and it’s yours,” he paused. “Lauren, I’m not going to lie to you, I have no idea how to be a dad and up until last night I never even thought about becoming one. But this kid, he’s got other plans for me. So I’ll try. I’ll give you the best I got and hope it’s enough,” he promised. “And whatever it is you need, you tell me and I’ll make sure you have it,” he added.

I stared at him for a moment, unsure how to feel, desperately wanting to believe in him, to believe that Kitten and Tiger could do this. We weren’t going to become some instant family and I could kiss my dreams of my perfect husband goodbye but we could be a team.

“I call the baby Pea,” I shared.

He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

“Pea,” he tested it out. “Okay,” he agreed. “So you and Pea, you will move into the apartment, right?”

I let out a giggle because his patience was tattering and he was still trying to do the right thing. I stopped laughing and looked at him, seriously, eye to eye.

“If you’re sure, I want you to be sure because I meant it when I said I will do this by myself. I know you didn’t sign up for this—”

“Neither did you…” he interrupted. “...I’m sure,” he continued. “I’ve got some shit to do for the club. Blackie’s in the hospital and I need to get there but when I get back I’ll take you to see the place,” he said, rising to his feet.

“Okay,” I agreed.

“So we’re good?”

“We’re good,” I confirmed.

“All right, I’m going to head out. Do you need anything else?”

“No, I’m fine,” I forced a smile as he looked like he was ready to flee. “Go ahead, do your thing,” I encouraged.

He shoved his boots on, not bothering with the laces and grabbed his gun from the dresser, fitting it into the waistband of his jeans before he slipped his arms into his leather jacket and headed toward the door. His hand paused on the doorknob and he glanced over his shoulder at me.

I waved from the bed.

He nodded.

And then he hurried out the door.

Awkward.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

I ran the fuck away from that room, from Kitten and from Pea.

Pea.

I had a Pea.

The door across from mine opened and Bones stood in the doorway.

“Was wondering when you were going come out of hiding,” he said, smugly. “You all right bro, you’re looking a little green,” he observed.

I pushed him aside and brushed passed him as I walked into his room.

“Man, I’m fucked,” I stressed.

He stuck his head into the hallway, looking from left to right before he shut the door and leaned his back against it.

“So congratulations would be the wrong thing to say?” He mocked.

“Laugh it up,” I seethed, pacing his room, running my fingers through my hair tugging at the ends. “What the fuck am I going to do?”

He sighed, walking toward his dresser and opened a cigar box he kept on top of it. He pulled a perfectly rolled joint from inside, lifted it to his nose, breathing in the scent of the herb as he reached for a lighter and lit that shit up.

“You talk to her?” He asked.

“Barely,” I confessed, watching him as he took the first toke. “I think she’s just as fucked as me but hides it better,” I said, reaching for the joint.

“So, she’s going to keep it?”

“She’s named it already!” I said, coughing up smoke.

Bones covered his mouth to hide the laughter.

Bastard.

“Seriously, man, I’m drowning here,” I cried, taking a long drag of the joint. “My life isn’t cut for a kid. I don’t even have a car! What am I supposed to do? Strap a sidecar onto my bike?”

He took the joint from my hand and outright laughed at me. I glared at him and flipped him the bird.

“Look, you’ve got nine months to figure it out. Isn’t that how long a woman is pregnant for?”

Nine months of freedom.

Nine months to live the rest of my life.

Nine months wasn’t a very long time.

“It could be worse, bro,” he said. “At least your baby mama is hot as hell,” he took another puff. “That’s a plus,” he continued.

“Dude, I have a baby mama. Just stop right there,” I sighed heavily. “Man, I don’t want a kid. I don’t know the first thing about being a father. My old man was never around, always chasing a dollar or a dream. He thought being a father meant handing me a trust fund,” I explained. “I never had a dad so how the fuck am I supposed to be one?”

Bones crushed the joint into an ashtray and looked back at me.

“You do everything he never did,” he urged. “You man the fuck up because twenty years from now you don’t want your kid saying the same words you just did.”

Twenty years from now? I couldn’t think about twenty minutes from now.

“Don’t do that shit,” he criticized. “Don’t be my old man.”

Bones’ dad skipped out on him and his mom before he was even born.

And then there was Lauren’s dad who dipped out on the Bianci’s.

I stared at Bones.

“You got a kid coming, man. That’s huge. That’s bigger than you, bigger than your girl, bigger than anything you’ve ever known. I know the club is everything to you right now and you worked real hard for your patch but this, you becoming someone’s father? It’s bigger than the club,” he paused, leveling me with a stare. “Own that shit,” he said, patting me on the back.

“You’ll figure the rest of this shit out as it comes to you but get on board brother, because once that train leaves the station you will be sorry you missed it,” he said, as he started for the door.

That was some deep shit right there. I thought about his words and wondered where they came from. Right now everything seemed out of whack and all I wanted was for things to get back to the way they were. Before Lauren. Before Pea. But his words, they rang in my ears, nagging me and making me wonder if one day I’d look back on this and regret everything.

I haven’t lived a life of regrets and wasn’t going to start now.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“The morgue,” he said flatly.

“What?”

“Jack’s brother needs to be buried. I’m meeting the funeral director and setting it up for him. One last thing he needs to worry about.”

“Any word on Blackie?”

“No change,” he said. “You heading over there?”

“Yeah, after I go buy a fucking refrigerator.”

“You’re buying a refrigerator?”

“Yeah, and your ass is hauling it with me to my apartment,” I demanded.

“I don’t work for free, brother. It will cost you,” he said, laughing as he walked out the door. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, Bianci’s downstairs waiting for you,”

Of course he was.

Then I felt the color drain from my face.

“The brother not the mother, right?”

He laughed, ignoring my question as he kept on walking.

“Bones,” I called out.

“Man the fuck up, Riggs,” he shouted back.

I picked the joint out of the astray, lit it up and took another greedy pull before I faced the wrath of Bianci. He was sitting at the bar, his hands folded and his head down.

Was he praying?

I shook my head and pulled out the stool beside him.

“Where is she?” He asked.

“Upstairs,” I replied, turning my face to meet his gaze.

“I should kill you,” he pointed out.

I shrugged because it didn’t seem like a bad alternative.

“You could do that I suppose, but I won’t go down without a fight,” I replied.

“Yeah? What would you be fighting for?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, daring me to answer.

“What do you think I’d be fighting for?” I asked incredulously. “World peace? My fucking life.”

“Wrong answer,” he said.

“Yeah, well, school was never my strong suit,” I muttered.

“Pay attention, because I’m about to
school
you on something,” he warned, twisting in his stool so he was facing me. “The next time I ask you what you’re fighting for, you’re not going to give me any wise crack remark and your answer won’t be your
life
because your life don’t matter no more,” he continued, eyes sharp as they bore down on me. “You got a kid on the way, a kid that’s my niece or nephew, and the only reason you will keep breathing is because I won’t be the one who takes your life. I won’t be the one that make’s that kid grow up without a father, but if you turn around and decide not to be that kid’s father all bets are off,” he threatened.

I leaned into him and my eyes pierced his.

I was nobody’s bitch.

“You forget I’m the one who stood by your side twenty-four seven, making sure you kept breathing,” I fumed. “Don’t fucking threaten me Bianci because I’ll piss on your threats and shove them right back down your throat when I’m done. Your mob card, your tough guy act, it won’t work here,” I ground out. “This shit between me and your sister, it’s none of your business and until I ask for your goddamn input, stay the fuck out of it,” I ordered.

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms against his chest before he nodded.

“Pretty strong words you got there, Riggs,” he said, cocking his head to the side unfazed.

“Try me, Bianci and those words will turn to actions,” I replied. “Your sister is a grown woman, stop fucking coddling her and let her be her own person. Give her that respect.”

“What do you know about respect?”

“Fuck you,” I ground out. “You think because I got your sister pregnant I disrespected her in some way—it wasn’t like that,” I explained.

Not that he deserved an explanation, but I was feeling generous.

I was losing my fucking mind.

“I’ve got respect for Lauren. I think she’s great. I didn’t plan on a kid, but shit happens,” I argued.

“It’s not about you, Riggs. It’s not about Lauren, either. You’re right she’s a grown ass woman, and she needs to take control of her life, I’ll give you that,” he started, pulling out his phone, turning the screen toward me. “It’s about that baby you created with my sister and it’s about being someone that baby can depend on and look up to.”

I glanced down at his phone and saw the picture of his kid, the one that wasn’t even biologically his.

“I changed my whole life for this boy and there isn’t an ounce of regret in me because he deserves it,” he said, tucking his phone back into his pocket. “Your kid deserves the same,” he added.

I should spit on him for telling me to change who I was.

I wouldn’t, and more importantly I couldn’t, because he was defending my kid. He was sticking up for my kid, fighting for Pea, and teaching me a lesson. I could learn a thing or two from Anthony Bianci.

He was a good guy to have in your corner and my kid was lucky to have him.

Not me.

Him.

That was pathetic.

It was wrong, and it made me want to prove to him I could be better. I could be more than just the asshole deadbeat dad they thought I’d be.

“I’m trying,” I said.

“It’s all I ask,” he replied.

Yeah, Pea was damn lucky to have him as an uncle.

Pea needed a dad like that.

Pea needed me.

Bones was right.

I needed to own that shit.

Or at least try to.

For Pea.