Reclaiming His Bride (DiCarlo Brides book 3) (The DiCarlo Brides) (30 page)

“Nothing. It’s what I did.” Lana pulled her legs up to her chest and set her cheek on her knee. “Why am I so stupid?”

“Stupid Lana.” Rosemary tilted her head for a moment. “Sorry, nope, those two words do not go together. But pregnancy can stop your brain from functioning properly, and you do have a concussion. Maybe they’re responsible. What happened?”

Lana rubbed her face. “I asked Blake if he knew about any of the stuff going on. I practically accused him of being behind the whole thing. His dad said something, tried to throw blame.” She put a pillow over her head. “His dad really hated me that much. He wanted me out of the way. How could he? Doesn’t he care about Blake at all? Doesn’t he have even the slightest decency?”

Rosemary pulled the pillow away. “I think I caught all of that, even through the stuffing. And what makes you think he has any decency? Just because Blake is a stand-up guy, doesn’t mean his family is. And seriously, did you not have any clue what a jerk Royce was before this? Did you totally miss how he puts Blake down all the time, even though Blake’s totally awesome and any parent should be thrilled to claim him?”

Lana peeked out and looked at Rosemary. “Do
you
want to adopt him or something?”

“Oh, yeah.” Her brows wiggled.

“Hey, that’s my husband you’re talking about.”

“Yeah. Your husband who you just accused of being in cahoots with someone who has been trying to tear down the hotel Blake has worked so hard to build. Someone who tried to hurt the woman he loves. Are you completely mental? Oh wait, yeah, pregnancy hormones. Maybe if you go to him and tell him you’re certifiable, he’ll still forgive you.”

“Maybe he doesn’t love me as much as I love him. Maybe he loves me the way my dad loved my mom. Maybe even if he forgave me, he’d get sick of me and start seeing other women every time he takes a business trip.” She buried her face in her knees and cursed. “I couldn’t stand that. It would kill me just wondering if he might leave me someday—or worse, stay with me, but see someone on the side.”

She threw up her hands, mad at the string of thoughts. “And I thought I was past all of this. Why am I even thinking about it now?”

Rosemary shook her head. “I saw your parents together, and while they were nice, and he seemed to take care of her, Dad didn’t look at your mom the way Blake looks at you. As if she was his whole world. That’s precious, Lana. It hardly ever happens. You have to make this better, or you’ll spend your life wondering how you could be such a total idiot.”

She stood from the bed and tugged the blankets over Lana’s lap from where they’d been folded down on the bed. “Now, sleep. Take it easy, let that tea Sage brought you work to help you relax—don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe for the baby,” she anticipated Lana’s question. “Do you think she’d risk your little one? Rest.” She waited until Lana followed directions, then flipped off the light and left the door ajar. “Cami will be home tomorrow and I’ll have her come tell you what an idiot you’re being. Then you can go apologize to the hunk. Or we can sit up and eat ice cream half the night while she tells us about her honeymoon.”

Lana smiled despite herself as Rosemary walked down the hall. She had good sisters. How had they known exactly what she needed?

The next day Lana didn’t leave her bed except to use the bathroom and get food. The doctor would have been pleased, but she was just miserable. She flipped through TV, pretending to read magazines. She learned she had no knack for Angry Birds on her phone, and refused to answer if anyone called. Especially Cami, because Rosemary was right, she would definitely have words about Lana’s stupidity. She tried calling Blake, but he didn’t answer, and she didn’t know what to say anyway, so she hung up instead of leaving a message. Was this what it was like for him a year before when he was trying to call her and couldn’t find the words?

Lana wanted to spend a few more hours wallowing before she had to face the wrath of her older sister—who was bound to be bossy.

When Cami came by that evening, she did not disappoint.

She pushed into the room without knocking. “I heard you did something stupid. Rosemary was a little lean on the details. You want to fill me in?” Cami sat on the edge of the bed.

“Nope.” Lana scooted up a little more in the bed so she leaned on the pillows instead of laying on them.

“I hear you haven’t gotten out of bed all day.”

“Sure I have. I used the bathroom three times and went downstairs for food at least four times. Maybe five.” She thought for a second then nodded. “Five. The baby really wanted ice cream. Besides, the doctor said to take it easy, to rest for a few days so I am. Big deal. I have a fractured skull, you know.” She sounded more like a sullen kid who knew she deserved punishment than someone sticking up for herself, but she couldn’t muster any righteous indignation.

“I don’t think your son was dying for ice cream.” Cami looked at the stack of dirty dishes beside the bed. “And if you brought all the food back here to eat and wallow, it doesn’t count as having gotten out of bed. What happened?”

Lana looked away. “I’m stupid. I’m a stupid idiot, and I can’t help myself. Apparently.”

“I bet you
can
help yourself, you just choose not to.” Cami folded her legs in front of her and grabbed the same dolphin Rosemary had been holding the previous night. “How are you a stupid idiot
this
time?”

“Hey.” Lana threw the eel pillow at her.

“Well, you married the guy in Vegas, kept it a secret, got pregnant and didn’t tell anyone. I gotta say, your track record isn’t very good right about now. I never knew you to act like an idiot before.” She studied the porpoise. “You always seemed insanely sane and impossibly smart. You actually intimidate me sometimes.”

That perked Lana up. “Really? I never knew that.”

“And I’ll never admit to it again.” Cami set down the stuffed animal and turned all of her attention on Lana. “So really, tell me what happened.”

It was difficult for Lana to get all of her thoughts in order. She was hungry again. Stupid pregnancy. She managed to explain everything after a few minutes, though, and waited for the backlash.

“Well, now I understand the comment about being a stupid idiot. But it’s not like it’s terminal. You’re only an idiot where he’s concerned, apparently. Why do you suppose that is?” Cami leaned back against the pillow beside Lana’s.

“Because I love him. Love turns us all to idiots. Look at Mom—staying with Dad even though he kept cheating on her.”

“You think that made her an idiot? She was willfully blind, maybe. But they had a good relationship, for what it was. It wasn’t what I have with Vince, or what you had with Blake before your idiot gene kicked in, but it was good. For her.” She shrugged. “At least enough to justify staying despite everything else.”

Lana stared in confusion. “Last week you said he made her sad.”

“Sometimes, but she didn’t do anything about it, did she? She wouldn’t have stayed without a reason. I don’t have to agree or understand for it to be good enough for her.”

Lana considered that. “Rosemary says my idiocy is caused by the pregnancy. That I lost all my brains because of hormones. Or it could be the concussion. Do you think Blake will buy that?” She looked at Cami hopefully.

“Doubtful. But if you can figure out what made you think such an idiotic thing, maybe you can manage not to do it again and he’ll forgive you.” She glanced at her perfect nails. “Maybe. If you beg a whole lot.”

“You’re really making me feel better here.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel better. I’m trying to goad you out of bed to go after what you want.”

Lana looked down at her lap and picked at the nail polish that was starting to flake off. “I love him.”

“I know you do, honey. Now get showered and dressed. Do something with yourself and go talk to him. Christmas is tomorrow and I want you to be happy.” Cami leaned over and gave Lana a tight hug, then kissed her cheek. “You’re okay? Anything I should know about the incident at the hotel?”

“I’ll be fine. I just need to take it easy for a few days and not hit my head again anytime soon.”

“Good. I was worried sick when Delphi called me. I hear Blake’s been calling to check up on you today too.” She stood. “Now I’m going home to unpack and snuggle with my hubby before we have to return to reality in the morning. Let me know how it goes. Text me. Don’t call. I won’t answer before morning.” She waggled her brows at Lana, jumped up and danced out of the room.

Lana watched her go. Blake wouldn’t answer her calls, but he called one of her sisters to check on her. So there was a ray of hope. She peeled back her blankets and headed for the shower.

An hour later Lana stepped out of Rosemary’s car at the resort—she’d left hers parked at the hotel when Joel drove her home. Blake’s car was in its usual spot, so she was sure he was there. That was a relief.

She walked up to their suite—his suite that had begun to feel so much like theirs instead. Her heart pounded, her hands turned sweaty and she wondered if she would start to hyperventilate, but after considering whether to knock or not, she used her key to open the door.

Blake was in his suit coat, sitting at the table with his laptop open and reports on the screen. He looked up in surprise, then stood to face her, his expression unreadable. “Lana. You weren’t at work today. I heard you stayed home to recover.”

She nodded. “I wallowed in bed and ate copious amounts of ice cream. I’m feeling a little better now.”

His voice was flat and careful when he spoke. “You needed the day to yourself. I’m glad you were able to take it.” His eyes skimmed over her, but didn’t meet hers. “It’s been a crazy few months, especially the past couple of weeks.”

“Yes.” She knew she needed to say something more, but she didn’t know what or how to begin. Finally she just forced herself to say, “About yesterday.”

He waved his hand. “No. Don’t worry about it. I understand.”

“You do?” Relief poured through her. “I thought for sure you were going to be mad and I wouldn’t even get a chance to explain.” She stepped closer, then saw the emptiness in his eyes.

“No. I get it. I do. You can’t trust me. Because you can’t trust anyone.” He reached over and picked up a stack of papers from the desk. “You didn’t want this marriage. You wanted to be free. Apparently I can’t give you what you need, can’t give anyone what they want, so maybe you’re right.”

Panic arched through her. “What? No.”

He didn’t let her go on, though, interrupting. “Yes. You need to be free so you don’t have to risk. I get that now. Every time we get too close, you back away. I can’t live like that—I won’t live like that. So I decided to take your most recent offer.” He handed her the pages.

Lana recognized the divorce documents she’d had drawn up. Her chest felt suddenly tight and her eyes prickled with tears.

“I want nothing from you, and you want nothing from me,” he continued. “It’s fair enough. Of course, there will still be provisions for our son when he’s born. Visitation, split custody. We’ll have to work out a schedule so I can be a real part of his life and not just a good-time dad. I’m willing to flex things around to handle that.”

Lana stood, stunned. After a year of fighting her on the divorce, he was going to give in to her
now?
“But—”

He shook his head, misunderstanding her, though it wasn’t clear if his action was deliberate. “No. I know you want to have full custody, or just give me weekends or something, but I can’t do that. He’s my son. I have to be there for him. I can’t,” his voice cracked and he paused for a moment before going on. “That’s something to figure out later. For now, just know that you only have to send that to your lawyer. He can get it all finalized, probably in record time, considering how long we’ve been hassling over the paperwork.”

“But, Blake.”

“What?” He turned to her. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t it what you’ve been gunning for? I admit, I thought. I hoped.” His gaze slid away and down, his pain nearly palpable. “But it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. I can be honest and accept defeat. So you’ll get what you want, and I’ll... try to vacate here as soon as possible. There’s extra space in the Portland resort. They can put me up for now, or I’ll find somewhere else. Somewhere.”