Recovery (5 page)

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Layla and Leo stepped onto the creaking front porch of the cabin, approaching the boys and taking a seat beside them on the wet steps. Layla pulled off her sweater, setting it beneath herself. She watched as Leo pulled Chase off to the side, away from the other boys. They were having a heated discussion, but Layla couldn’t make out what they were saying.

When they returned, Chase nodded at Layla, signaling for her to follow him. Layla looked over at Leo, confused, but he mouthed that it was alright. She got up hesitantly, pulling on her sweater and following Chase into the secluded patch of trees that he and Leo had been standing in just a few minutes before.

“What’s going on?” Layla questioned.

What happened next caught Layla completely off guard. Chase pulled her off to the side, where Leo and the boys couldn’t see them. Then, he pulled Layla against his towering frame, gripping her tightly as she struggled to pull away.

“What the fuck are you –” she began, panicked, but Chase brought a hand over her mouth. He peeked through the trees, making sure that Leo hadn’t heard her struggle.

“Shh,” he whispered. Layla stared at him with wide eyes. “I have to tell you something, but you have to promise not to make a sound.”

Layla’s heart raced. She began to regret even coming to the cabin at all. She nodded her head slowly, struggling to breathe underneath Chase’s grip. When he was sure that she wouldn’t make a sound, he lifted his hand, exhaling sharply.

“Look,” he whispered, his voice strained and eager. “I don’t know why the fuck I’m telling you this. But…look.”

Chase grabbed Layla by the chin, forcing her to look at him.

“You seem nice enough. You need to know the truth.”

He nodded his head at the gaping space between the trees, towards Leo. Layla knew what was coming next. She wanted to stop Chase before the words could leave the confines of his mouth, but it was too late.

“Leo is your father,” he said, pronouncing each word with purpose. “He told me so. Months ago. Drunk as a skunk, but even so…”

Tears surfaced in the corners of Layla’s eyes before she could stop them. She tore her gaze from Chase, attempting to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t let her.

“You can’t tell him,” he continued. “Look, I just thought you needed to know. It’s not exactly right for a girl to be fooling around with her old man.”

Layla let out a sarcastic chuckle, allowing her mascara to run.
It’s a little too late for that,
she thought to herself bitterly. She watched through a crack in the moss covered tree branches as Leo downed one beer after the next, staggering to sit down on the porch. He was talking with the other boys, moving his arms enthusiastically and smiling, completely unaware as to what was unfolding just a few feet away from him.

“What did you tell him?” Layla finally asked, her voice shaky and uneven. “I…I mean why does he think you are talking to me right now?”

“Oh,” Chase replied, shrugging. He loosened his grip on Layla’s arms, running a hand over his hair. “He thinks I’m apologizing to you. For before…when we first met.”

“Which I am,” he added. “Those were shitty circumstances. I wasn’t myself.”

Layla listened as Chase searched for the right words to explain his actions. She tried to push the bitter truth of what he had shared with her about Leo into the back of her conscious, focusing instead on his apology.

“Richie is my brother,” he continued. “By blood, I mean. When I found out what he and Leo had gotten themselves into…killing those guys…I just kind of snapped. It ran deeper than the club.”

Killing those guys.

The words echoed in Layla’s head. She blinked back the tears in her eyes, swallowing hard. She had almost managed to make herself forget the whole ordeal. The almost-rape. The gunshots, one after the other. And then, finally, watching Leo bury the bodies just a few feet away from where she and Chase were now standing.

“I understand,” Layla whispered, refusing to make eye contact with him. She shivered, feeling clammy and dizzy. For the first time in months, she was dying for a fix. As she looked from Leo to Chase, she kicked herself for not making a stop along the way.

Cocaine. Heroin. Uppers, downers. She needed something – anything – to make her feel at ease. To make her forget.

Suddenly, Layla got an idea. She looked up at Chase, her eyes wide and bloodshot.

“I need you to do me a favor,” Layla asked him, her voice hoarse. Her tongue felt dry and heavy in her mouth, making speaking a nearly impossible task. Chase appeared unsure of what she was going to ask him, but shrugged nonetheless.

“Ok but make it quick,” he said, looking over at Leo. The conversation between him and the other boys had died down, and it was obvious to Layla that he would soon begin to wonder what was taking them so long.

“I need you to help me get a fix,” Layla begged.

At first, Chase shook his head.

“Hell no,” he whispered.

Layla watched as Chase’s eyes lingered for just a second too long on the track marks that covered her inner arms. A flash of empathy spread across his face, and Layla knew that he was beginning to put two and two together.

“Look, the Disciples don’t dabble in narcotics,” Chase finally said. “I’m sorry but I can’t help you,” he turned to walk away, but Layla reached out for him, grabbing hold of his leather cut. He turned around, looking down at her. She silently pleaded with him to help her.

“Maybe you know someone…” she trailed off.

“Please, Chase. I just…I could really use a fix right now.”

Chase was silent for what felt like an eternity. Layla watched as the wheels turned in his handsome head as he considered the implications involved with doing what Layla was asking. She knew it was wrong. That she was asking him to go behind the back of his brothers for a girl he had only just met. She knew that was frowned upon in his world. In their world. But Layla was hardly in any condition to find a fix herself, and Chase was the only person she could think to ask. Her emotional state was troublesome on its own, but her ankle injury made driving seem like more of a pipe dream.

“Fine,” Chase finally said. “I’ll do it. But only if you promise not to say a word to Leo about what I told you.”

Layla nodded.

The truth was, she had no intention of ever doing that. It was bad enough that Leo had lied to her, but even worse that he had shared the truth of his identity with Chase.

Had he told anyone else?
Layla wondered, feeling a wave of humiliation wash over her.

She had to distance herself from him. Layla told herself that as soon as her ankle healed, and as soon as she got a fix, she’d leave. She followed Chase through the trees, towards the cabin, trying her best to remain as normal as possible.

Leo patted the spot beside himself on the steps, signaling for Layla to take a seat, but she ignored him. She limped towards the front door, muttering something about needing to rest her ankle. Sensing that something wasn’t right, Leo followed her inside. He helped Layla adjust herself on the sofa, lifting her legs and resting them on a pile of pillows. Layla caught a glimpse of her appearance in the reflection of the window and flinched. The girl staring back at her was a far cry from the Starlet that had once graced television and movie screens.

“Hey,” Leo whispered, noticing the mascara stains on Layla’s freckled cheeks.

“What’s wrong?”

Layla shook her head just as Chase entered the cabin. She shot him a knowing glance before turning her attention back to Leo.

“Nothing,” she whispered.

“I’m just exhausted. And my ankle is killing me. I really just need to rest.”

Leo didn’t look entirely convinced, but he nodded anyway.

“Alright,” he managed. “The boys and I have a few things to take care of. But I’ll be back later tonight to check on you. The fridge is stocked, if you get hungry.”

He nodded at the small outdated fridge that hummed in the kitchen and Layla thanked him, adjusting herself on the couch. As Leo and the boys turned to leave, Chase lingered in the doorway. He nodded at Layla before closing the door, reassuring her that he would follow through on his end of their bargain.

ANXIETY

"Anxiety, anxiety, keeps me happy.
Anxiety, anxiety, keeps me happy.
Always screamin' at someone.
Got a temper like a gun.
Hair trigger personality.
Anxiety, anxiety, keeps me happy."
 

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Chase tossed his keys on his oak dresser. With a sigh, he collapsed on the king size bed he shared with his wife of five long years, Trisha. He kicked off his boots, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the ground onto a pile of others just like it.

“Fuck,” Chase said aloud. He couldn’t stop thinking about the promise he had made to Layla. He didn’t know the girl any more than she knew him. She was stuck up, commercialized,
a red head
, and everything else Chase despised, but he couldn’t knock the way she made him feel. He would never admit it aloud, but she had a certain way about her. Something capable of giving a grown man butterflies.

I didn’t need to tell her about Leo,
Chase thought to himself.

He honestly didn’t even know why he had. Just a few moments before he had spoken to Layla, Leo had pulled him aside, suggesting that they have a cigarette and talk.

“Let’s let bygones be bygones brother,” Leo said, slapping Chase on the shoulder as he sipped his beer. He looked over at Layla, who was sitting on the porch with the other boys looking notably unsure of herself.

“She’s not so bad,” he added.

It wasn’t that Chase thought she was bad. She was just a citizen.

She might have had Leo Marsden’s blood flowing through her veins, something anyone could tell just by looking at them together, but she was still an outsider.

“How do I know we can trust her?” Chase asked, looking over at her. “It’s…not like she has a great track record. Last time you brought her around, Richie ended up killing someone. Two people, actually. Did you forget that?”

Leo cleared his throat, spitting into the mud before shrugging.

“She was being assaulted. Now you know as well as I do that any one of us would have done the same thing. If we can’t protect women, why do we even wear these?”

Leo pulled at his leather cut, raising his eyebrows. Chase nodded in reluctant agreement.

“Now don’t get me wrong,” Leo continued. “I’m just as tore up about what happened with Rich. He wasn’t just your brother. He was all of ours. I miss him too, but her, she’s not our enemy.”

Leo looked back over at Layla before giving a Chase a knowing glare. One Chase could easily decode.

She’s my kid, Chase.

Months ago, after one too many beers, Leo had revealed to Chase that he had a daughter. At first, Chase was happy for him. He offered Leo his congratulations, remarking on how it sure was funny that Leo, of all people, was the first of the boys to have a kid.

Then, Leo explained further.

“It’s Layla Carter, man.”

Chase wasn’t following, then it clicked.

 “Who you were with the night Richie –”

“Yeah,” Leo interrupted, taking a sip of his beer and ashing his cigarette, “That’s the one.”

He wore a somber look on his face, and Chase read between the lines of what he was saying.

 “When did you find out?” he finally asked, “better yet, how?”

Leo was hesitant. He looked up at the TV set that hung above the bar. A football game played on mute. He tried to distract himself, but Chase pushed him for an answer.

“I don’t know bro,” Leo began, his voice hoarse. “I think I knew the moment I met her, if you want to know the god honest truth. But I fucked up. We did, I mean.”

Chase was no fool. Like any other man, he understood what fucked up meant.

“Shit,” he whispered, finishing of his cigarette.

“Well L…I mean come on…you didn’t exactly know the truth. You might have suspected it, but you didn’t really
know
.”

Chase’s words were clustered and lacked any sort of transparency. It was obvious that he wanted to know the answers to those questions.