Authors: Carmen Falcone,Michele de Winton
Bounding up the stairs she turned the key in the lock and beamed as she heard the yell of “Mommy!”
A bundle of dark hair and wide grey eyes peeked out from behind the door. Young, cheerful grey eyes, that were the exact same color as the man who had just called her a cheat and a liar. She pushed the lump of hurt down and found a smile for her son. “And why aren’t you in bed?” She tried to sound stern, but it was hard when Fraser was smiling so impishly up at her and she wanted so to have him in her arms.
“I was in bed, but then I needed to call you and then a man called me and well, I couldn’t go back to sleep after that.”
Gabby’s insides froze. “What did the man say?”
“Not much. He asked who I was and I said I couldn’t talk to strangers but then he said his name was Nicolas Macaroni so I told him my name. Was that okay? I thought he must be your friend if he was answering your phone and he told me his name and…”
“It’s okay,” Gabby said as he petered out and gave a big yawn. Nicolas Macaroni. That was a good one, made him sound much less intimidating, she’d have to remember it. “It was Mommy’s boss. Now, I think it’s time for bed.”
Fraser took her hand without argument and the two of them trailed off to his bedroom. “I’ll be right out, Mrs. Patel.”
There wasn’t even a demand for her to check his cupboard for monsters as Gabby tucked the covers around Fraser. She kissed him on the forehead. “Mommy loves you very much little squirrel. Sleep tight.”
Flopping on the sofa she gave her neighbor Indira Patel a weary grin. “Sorry he was up and down tonight.”
“It’s just a phase. He’ll grow out of it soon enough.” The woman gave her a warm smile that said she’d been there plenty before.
“How are you anyway? How are the grandkids?” asked Gabby. “And your hip?” she said, pointing at the heating pad the older woman had pressed to her left side.
“Oh they’re fine. Great actually. It’ll be good to spend some more time with them.” She paused, “And I got news about my hip today. Although it’s a bit good news and bad for you I’m afraid.”
Gabby tipped her head on the side, confused.
“Someone’s been pulled off the waiting list so instead of having to wait till next month I’ve been bumped to the top. I’m getting my new hip. Tomorrow.”
“Oh that’s wonderful. Not bad news at all.”
“Thank you dear. But it means I won’t be able to look after Fraser after school.”
“Of course. Don’t worry about it.” Inside, Gabby’s stomach was churning. Just what she needed. She couldn’t afford childcare.
Double crap sandwich, with three day old cheese.
“Of course it won’t make much difference in a week anyways.”
There was more?
“You’ve lost me now.”
“You got the notice didn’t you? About the new owners of the building? We talked about it a few months ago. I got a letter last week saying the date was fixed and we’d all have to be out before their contractors arrived.”
Gabby clenched her jaw. She would not cry. “I was told we could stay on. That the new owners wanted to keep some of the apartments tenanted.”
Indira raised an eyebrow. “They’re renovating the whole building. Who said you could stay? That’s so irresponsible.” She tut-tutted then looked aghast at Gabby. “So you don’t have anywhere to go? Oh my dear. I’ll call my daughter. Her place isn’t very big but I’m sure we can squeeze in. I could share with Fraser.”
“No, no.” Gabby held up her hand. “Don’t worry about us. I have a friend we can stay with if we need to. We’ll be fine. I was told we could stay so maybe they’ve got something set aside for us.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.” Gabby gave the best smile she could manage. “Thanks again for looking after Fraser.”
“It’s no problem dear.” Her neighbor stood and started towards the front door. “I just hope your new boss doesn’t decide to call these late night meetings too often. It’s not fair on you. I know how hard you young women work these days. And those men in charge have no idea what it takes to juggle everything. Imagine if they had to give birth and hold down a job while looking after their children.”
Gabby laughed, the thought of Nicolas with a mobile in one hand, a baby in the other and a big pregnant stomach ridiculous enough to cut through her growing desperation.
When her neighbor had gone, Gabby flopped on the sofa again. No babysitter, no home, Nicolas Morganti taking over her mind and her job. Dear lord, was there anything else that could go wrong? Putting her head in her hands Gabby succumbed to the overwhelming sense that the world was crumbling around her. Hot tears trickled through her fingers and her shoulders shuddered as she wondered how she was going to pick herself up and go on
again.
If they were renovating the whole building there wasn’t anywhere for them here. She’d known they had to go one day, but not yet, the Superintendent had promised. Not at Christmas. That was another promise she shouldn’t have believed in. God, she was a terrible mother. So irresponsible. Where would they live? How would Fraser get home from school? How could they afford anything with the new repayments coming out of her pay? What was she going to tell Fraser?
Fraser. His name was the only thing good in all the questions. The only thing good in her life at the moment.
You still have a job and a decent-ish salary.
True. But for how long remained to be seen. Why oh why did Nicolas Morganti have to be the one that bought Able’s?
Wiping her hands on her skirt Gabby gave a big sniff and shook the desolation from her thoughts. Crying wasn’t going to help anyone. She picked up the mail from the side table, looking for the paper to start the search for a studio that wasn’t in any worse condition that the one they were already paying too much for. Four unopened envelopes demanded her attention. “Probably just bills.”
Ripping into them, the first was the letter from the building’s new owners Indira had spoken about. After scanning it with a sigh, Gabby let it fall to the floor. Nothing she could do about that now. And while it was nice of Indira to offer to share her daughter’s room, it was an impossible offer. Especially with her recovering from surgery. The next two were requests for money from two charities Gabby had once supported. Not really looking, Gabby tore open the fourth.
“No!” Because all the tenants would be leaving soon, the power company had done a special reading of the building’s meter. “I can’t owe that much. It’s just not possible.” But of course it was possible. More than possible. It was a cold winter, Fraser got sick easily and so Gabby had turned the heating on regularly. The resulting bill now sat like a ten ton weight in her hands. “I can’t just afford it.”
Letting the bill fall to the floor with the other mail, Gabby didn’t have the strength to resist a second fall of tears. Curling into a ball she cried as if her heart was breaking. Cried like she had the night she’d run out on Nicolas. Cried for all the unfairness in the world and because in the morning she would have to get up and act as if everything was fine.
“Fraser.” In between her sobs she whispered his name. And with the repeating of those two simple syllables, her tears began to dry up. Wiping at the salty streaks, Gabby gave a big sniff and looked around her. The room was small, the pale yellow paper curling in the corners, the mint green carpet flecked with the stains of too many people and not enough care. She wouldn’t miss the place. She wouldn’t even miss the neighborhood.
“It’s an opportunity,” she tried to tell herself. But what sort of opportunity included no money, and no babysitting support? Finding somewhere to live was almost impossible in New York when you
had
time and money.
I should have just declared myself bankrupt years ago. The thought curled her tighter into her ball of despair and Gabby pulled a blanket over her head as she cried herself to sleep.
Her mind busied itself sorting through the rush of emotions she’d experienced throughout the day and the dream she fell into felt entirely real. As her dream-self stretched out the stiffness of sleeping on the sofa, Gabby was confused by the clean white walls and expansive views in front of her. Then Nicolas walked in bare-chested, carrying a tray of breakfast and the day’s paper. “How did you sleep?”
“Um. Okay,” she replied. “I slept here?”
“I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
Fraser. She scanned the room looking for any sign of her son, trying to be subtle while her heart raced.
‘It’s okay, he’s getting ready for our appointment.”
She was cautious. “What?”
“Fraser. We have a meeting with the lawyers.” Suddenly the room darkened, Nicolas’s face changed and Gabby recoiled in horror. Lightning crackled from Nicolas’s eyes, and his voice was framed with the deep roll of thunder. “Fraser is mine and I’m going to make sure you never see him again.”
“You can’t…don’t take him…don’t…”
Nicolas grew, his body expanding to fill the room and his presence crushing the bravado out of her.
“You can’t keep him from me.”
“I didn’t mean to. I had no choice. You said you never wanted children,” she managed.
The swollen Nicolas was a solid mass of grey storm cloud. All pretense of being human gone, his energy pressed in on her as lightning shot out around her.
Gabby put up her hands to protect her face. “Fraser! Baby, where are you?”
“Mom? I’m here. Mommy, wake up, you’re being scary.”
Gabby opened her eyes. The morning sun had clawed its way under the curtains and Fraser was standing over her, fright written all over his face. Home. Safe. “Sorry baby. Mommy just had a bad dream.” She rubbed the kinks out of her neck. “Come here.”
He climbed up onto the sofa and she pulled the blanket around the two of them.
“Were the shadow men chasing you?”
“Something like that,” Gabby said. Shadow man, storm man, whatever he was, Nicolas Morganti had really got under her skin last night.
“Why were you sleeping on the sofa?”
“I didn’t mean to. I guess I was just tired and fell asleep after Mrs. Patel left.”
Fraser looked at her closely, then apparently satisfied, moved on. “She’s getting a new hip today. Cool huh? When I grow up, maybe I’ll get a new hip, but I think a new arm would be better. A robot arm that can pick things up out of the fire and stuff.”
Gabby smiled even as her heart sank at the thought of what to do without her trusted babysitter. Now was not the time for a lecture on the ups and downs of hip replacement surgery.
“I’m sure when you grow up, you’ll invent something even cooler than a robotic arm.”
As they ate breakfast she rang around some of Fraser’s friends mothers. Everyone was busy but one mother offered to drop Fraser off at Able’s on her way to taking her daughter to afterschool care. That was going to have to do for today.
“You’re coming to work after school today. But you have to promise to be on your best behavior.”
Fraser beamed. “Do I get to play with Santa’s reindeer?”
“No. They’re not in the store yet. Not till we open. And you’ll have to stay in my office. I’ve got lots to do.”
“Okay.” Fraser shrugged. “I’ll bring my coloring book.”
“Good idea.”
As Fraser finished his breakfast and packed his school bag Gabby checked in with herself. She still had a job, at least for today. Her nightmare had simply been the result of too much bad news all at once. There was no point declaring herself bankrupt today, not after she’d spent the last five years living off nothing. She had the rest of the week to figure something out. The words of her favorite self help book, flashed through her head,
I am the sculptor of my own life, I create beauty and purpose in my every action.
Well maybe today she wouldn’t create much that was beautiful, but she was going to make sure Fraser’s life turned out as gorgeous as she could manage.
“We’ll get through this, just like we’ve got through everything else.” They’d go to one of those shelters for a few nights if they had too, the anonymous ones so social services wouldn’t get on her case. And she’d see the bank manager about not increasing her repayments just yet. Just till she could get back on her feet. Interest rates be damned. Her repayment schedule would have to take the hit and she’d just take longer to get out of the mess her father had left her.
She’d go to work and do her job. So she felt more than she should for her new boss. So what? That was going to stop. Now. He had never felt the same way about her and he wasn’t about to start falling for her now. Especially not now he knew she had a kid. They were messy, and he didn’t do mess.
She felt better until she looked through the paper for somewhere to live. Prices had gone up. They’d have to move to New Jersey at this rate, and
then
what would she do about Fraser after school? The tears weren’t far away but she held them back as Fraser bounced back into the room. Today was the start of something new. The thought helped her keep a tenuous hold on her emotions as she shooed Fraser out the door. It was almost Christmas after all, who knew what the Santa spirit might bring.