Redemption and Regrets (Chastity Falls, #4) (11 page)

To dance with the devil?

~

A
fter the film, I walked Cara back to the campus. Something had changed between us, and I was sure she felt it too. She was quiet, too quiet—a dead giveaway for the girl who always had some smartass comment at the ready.

The silence hung between us as we walked, hands close but not touching. All I’d thought about for the last hour was kissing her again. But my head was so fucked up, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop at just one more taste. Not when I wanted everything she had to give. The good, the bad, and the downright ugly.

The more time we spent together, the more I thought Cara might be right—that we were the same. That we shared a darkness.

“You’re quiet.” Her voice was like a blanket, wrapping me up in its comfort. I didn’t understand what was happening to me anymore. How could one person affect me so much?

“Just thinking.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

And she did. I knew it; she knew it. I was just too chicken shit to own up.

The campus came into view, and Cara slowed, her shoulders sagging slightly. “I should go the rest of the way alone.”

“What the fu-?” I started to protest, but she stepped in front of me and craned her neck to look up at me. “You can watch me from here. Okay?”

I didn’t like it. In fact, I hated the idea of leaving her to walk the rest of the way to her dorm, but the steely look in her eyes told me not to fight her on it. Jaw clenched, I nodded, and she reached out entwining her fingers through mine. “Thank you,” she whispered, and my whole body hummed with nervous energy. My stomach somersaulted at the feel of her hand in mine.

We stood there, in the cover of the trees and darkness, eyes locked on one another, neither of us wanting to say goodbye. Cara’s eyes flickered to my mouth, and I saw the desire there.

“You should go,” I rushed out unable to stand it for a second longer.

Cara’s lips tugged up in a slight smirk. “Good night, Blue.”

“Night.”

She turned and started to move away from me but paused. “I forgot.” She doubled back and slipped a piece of paper in my hand. “Just in case.” Cara winked and broke into a jog as she headed toward the dorm buildings.

I plucked the note out of my hand and unfolded it.

503 990 2467

Call me.

I know you feel it too.

Just call me.

C x

Without giving myself time to reconsider, I took out my cell phone and typed out a new text.

Cara was just a silhouette against the moon’s reflection now. She’d reached her dorm building and disappeared inside.

I hit send.

Time was up.

I had to come clean or walk away.

And walking away wasn’t an option anymore.

~

C
ara had agreed to meet at our usual spot at the stadium. It was now or never—I had to come clean. About who I was, the scar, my past in Chastity Falls ... everything I could tell her without putting her in any danger.

But when I rounded the corner and searched the bleachers for the splash of light in the dark, she wasn’t there.

So I waited.

And waited.

But after twenty minutes, a sinking feeling flooded my chest.

She’d stood me up.

After pushing me for answers, making me feel things I’d never wanted to feel, Cara had finally wised up to me. Dejection pumped through my veins like liquid fire, growing into a burning rage. How dare she play with my emotions like this? Fists clenched at my sides, I doubled back out of the stadium and down Main Street cutting across the campus. Blinded by hurt and consumed by anger, I moved on autopilot until I was outside her dorm building. I wanted to go inside and bang on the door until she came out and gave me an explanation, but the rational part of me still had a thread of control.

She’s just some girl,
my conscience argued with the monster awakening in me. But she wasn’t just any girl, and that was why it stung so much. I’d been prepared to open up to her in a way I’d never done before—with anyone. I’d been ready to take a chance on us, and she’d thrown it back in my face.

Or maybe she just decided you weren’t worth the effort.
A hundred different scenarios played through my mind, and they all ended with Cara realizing that I wasn’t worth the effort. That she finally opened her eyes to what a fucked-up mess I really was.

And who could blame her?

Ready to walk away, I caught movement in the shadows and two figures came into view. Cara and the creep from the bar were arguing about something. The anger from their voices carried over to me on the breeze, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. He looked pissed, his face screwed up in anger, as Cara pointed and jabbed the air in front of his chest. She glared at him and then spun away from him and disappeared inside the building with him hot on her heels.

Breaking my cover, I moved to the path surrounding the side of the building. It was impossible to see inside, but I couldn’t just leave, not while that prick was in there with her. Busy trying to come up with a plan, I almost missed the light turn on in the end window, and I inched along the path, trying to remain inconspicuous. Shadows moved behind the half-pulled blinds and then I heard her.

Cara.

I glanced around making sure no one was watching me and cut across the narrow strip of grass to the wall of the building. Their voices were louder, but the music coming from one of the other rooms drowned out the words. Peeking inside, I could see them continue to argue, and a bad feeling stabbed at my gut. She’d said he was overprotective, but this looked like more than just a regular argument. He looked buzzed, swaying slightly as he shouted back at her.

My conscience yelled at me to do something, anything, to get her away from him. I’d been that guy—pissed and ready to snap—and I didn’t want him anywhere near Cara when it happened. But I was too late. He lunged for her knocking her onto the bed. I stood frozen, fear gripping my chest, as he climbed on top of her and pinned down her body as she thrashed against him. Instinct took over and I started moving around the back of the building. There was another door, but when I tried it, it was locked. I banged on it trying to draw the attention of someone, anyone, but no one came. Defeated, I ran back around the building to the front doors. They were still open, and I slipped inside trying to line up the windows from the outside with the doors on the inside hallway. But I didn’t need to.

I heard the scream. It was faint, almost inaudible against the beat floating out of the first dorm room, but it was Cara. My body crashed against the door and it flew open. Jason had Cara pinned to the bed, his arm across her chest while his hand fumbled with her jeans zipper and his mouth moved over her neck. Their heads whipped up to me, and then all hell broke loose.

Jason came at me, and we tumbled into the wall.

“You,” he screamed wildly. “You think you can touch her?”

“Jason, don’t do this.” The fear in Cara’s voice shot straight through me, and I managed to push him off me enough to pull back my fist and send it flying toward his face. He moved just enough that I only skimmed his cheek.

“DON’T,” Cara yelled, but all I could see was his hands touching her. The terror in her eyes.

More screams and cries started from the hallway, but impulse took over and there was no stopping me. My fists flew again as Jason tried to get in a punch or two. He must have caught me good because pain ricocheted through my left side, but I shut it out, fight instinct coursing through my veins.

“I know who you are,” he seethed as we danced around each other, looking for weak spots. “I thought you looked familiar, but I didn’t piece it together right away.”

His words caught me off guard and my eyes flickered to Cara, who was huddled up on the bed. Seeing his opportunity, he landed a solid right hook and my head snapped to the side. I felt metallic liquid pool in my mouth.

“Stop. STOP!” Cara leaped off the bed and came to stand between us, her back to my chest. She was protecting me.

Choosing me.

What the fuck had I done?

“Him?” Jason wiped the back of his hand over a small cut above his eye, blood smearing across his face. Unaware of the audience growing outside of Cara’s room, he seethed, “You’re choosing him? Do you know who he is?”

“Wha- what do you mean?” Cara asked reaching out behind her to clutch my shirt.

“This is almost poetic. That piece of shit you’ve been cockblocking me for is none other than Braiden Donohue, the person at the top of your daddy’s shit list.”

“What?” She started to turn around, but somewhere out in the hall a voice boomed, “Everyone out of the way. What in the hell is going on in here?”

“Shit. Shit. You need to go before she calls campus security.” Cara turned, searching my eyes for the truth, but the anger was too strong and I gave nothing back. “Just go. Get out of here. You can slip out the back door. I’ll distract her. Go.” She turned away from me to face him. “Jason, go to your room.”

Cara pulled me toward the door and started pushing me away in the crowd that had gathered outside. I spotted a red-faced woman storming in our direction, barging through the crowd yelling, “Miss O’Connor, what on earth is going on?”

O’Connor?

No.

No!

My world zeroed in around me and I froze.

“Go. Before she sees you,” Cara hissed, and with one final push, I was moving through the crowd in a daze.

That fucker knew. And soon, Cara would find out the truth. The truth behind who I really was.

Which meant I was too late.

I
paced back and forth waiting for Luke to answer. When he finally picked up, I growled, "Tell me you didn't know."

"Know what?" he replied. "Yeah, yeah, it's Braiden." I heard my sister murmur something in the background, and I squeezed my eyes tight hoping this wasn’t going to end the way most of our conversations did because I had questions that needed answers.

"Did you know she was here?"

"Who? You've got to give me a little more, man."

"Cara O'Connor. Tell me you didn't hide me away in the one fucking town where the daughter of the man who wants me dead goes to college."

Silence.

Luke cleared his throat and said, "Oh shit, hang on a minute. Get me a beer, babe? Yes, you can talk to him when we're done."

I could hear shuffling and a door closed, and then Luke’s voice came over the line. "How do you know about Cara O'Connor?"

"So it's true? You knew she was here?"

He groaned down the line. "There were rumors. O'Connor is very protective of his only daughter. But I got a tip she was in Forest Grove studying."

"And you thought it was a good idea to put me here? Are you fucking insane?" I gripped the edge of the counter with my free hand.

"Shit, it wasn't supposed to be an issue. You weren't supposed to find out. Ro said I could use her apartment, and it seemed perfect. It wasn’t as if your paths would ever cross. Why, what's happened? Tell me you didn't fuck her? Oh shit, did you fuck her?" Panic wavered in his voice.

"No, I didn't fuck her, but she knows I'm here. So does the goon O’Connor sent out here to protect her."
And try to fucking rape her.
My blood boiled as the color drained from my knuckles.

"Fuck."

"Yeah, I’d say fuck pretty much sums it up. I need to get out of here, and since you did such a bang-up job of hiding me the first time around, I'm on my own this time. I'll call you when I'm off the radar."

"Donohue, hang on a minute. Don't you think-"

“Tell my sister I'll text her." I hung up and threw my cell phone down on the counter.

Fuck!
I slammed my fist down and pain shot through my body. The aftermath of Jason's fists going to work on me. I needed a shower and then I needed to get the hell out of Forest Grove and quick, but I couldn't just leave. My eyes fell on the cell phone. Could I risk texting her? Cara was still in a building with him. What if he tried to hurt her again? What if he was with her right now trying to finish what he started?

A growl burst from my throat, and I heaved, overwhelmed with all of the feelings rushing through me. The sensible thing was to hotfoot it out of Forest Grove and never look back. But when had I ever been that guy?

I dragged myself into the bathroom and cleaned up. An ugly bruise was forming on my left cheek, and when I hiked up my hoodie, I had a tender spot along my ribs. Tomorrow, I’d look like I’d gone ten rounds with a pro boxer. Luckily, Luke’s ex had a well-stocked medicine cabinet, and I helped myself to a couple of ibuprofen and washed it down with a glass of water. Slamming the glass down, I stared at the guy in the mirror. Who was he? I didn’t even recognize him anymore.

At one time, I would have been itching for retribution, payback for making me hurt. That jackass, Jason, would have been running scared. But it was that impulsive behavior that had landed me in prison once before. Cole Calder almost died because of me, and his life would never be the same, but back then, I hadn’t had it in me to care.