RedemptionRidge (3 page)

Chapter Five

Jake clicked on the flashlight and placed in the cup holder
between them. It illuminated the truck cab. His gaze caught hers and held it.

“I vowed if I got out of this situation alive I’d make sure
I’d never make the same mistakes again with drugs or men,” she said.

“Were you having trouble before today? I mean, recently?”

How much more did she want to tell him? “After I made it
through rehab I kept touch with my sponsor Janey Hannover. She was like a best
friend.” She inhaled deeply. “She was killed in a car accident three weeks
ago.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice rang low and soft. “That’s horrible.”

“At her funeral I was tempted to go home and find an old
contact for drugs. Anything to swamp the pain. Then I remembered everything I’d
learned, everything Janey told me. The temptation lasted maybe five minutes.”

“You did a good job then. You didn’t give in.”

Silence surrounded them again for a long time.

Curiosity and need to fill the quiet pushed her to ask, “You
planned to hide out for a month at the cabin?”

“Yeah. Military buddy and his wife own it.”

“And here you are rescuing me.”

He shrugged. “I can still have my month.”

“Are you just back from the Middle East?”

“Yeah.”

The reluctance in his statement pressed her to ask more.
She’d always been stubborn that way. “How long were you there?”

“Two tours. Both for six months.”

Somehow she knew that what he’d seen and done there had
marked him forever. “What happened to you there?”

He snorted a laugh. “We don’t have enough time for me to
talk about that.”

“Why?”

“You don’t mind plunging into the deep end of the pool right
away, do you?”

“I’m stuck in a truck in a driving rainstorm with a
stranger. I want to know who I’m talking to.”

“You saw my wallet.”

“Major, there’s a lot of your life that isn’t in that
wallet.”

In his eyes she saw old pain mixed with humility. The
intimate enclosure and the rain driving relentlessly against the car made her
feel isolated.

“Okay, I’ll tell you more about me,” she said, hoping
revealing a tad more would loosen him up. When he didn’t say anything, she
ventured forward. “Over the last two years since I divorced Peter I’ve worked
at Tastee Freez and the lingerie store, and I’ve finally saved up some money. I
plan to finish that bachelor’s degree I started on.”

“What did you study?”

“Counseling and therapy. I want to help people. I want to
make sure they don’t make the same mistakes I did. Or if they do…I want them to
understand it doesn’t have to be that way forever.”

“That’s an admirable pursuit.” He sighed. “I’m not sure I’m
ready for redemption yet. I have a ton of thinking to do. That’s why I’m going
to the cabin.”

“How long have you been in the army?”

“I’m thirty-five now. I’ve been in since I was twenty.” He
gave her a rueful smile.

“What do you do in the army?”

“Recon.”

She sensed turmoil beneath his surface and she found the
mystery made her want that kiss. Still, this wasn’t the time or the place.

He cleared up a lot of the mystery. “I was at a FOB…forward
operating base in Afghanistan when we got shelled. I was knocked cold. They
didn’t think there was anything wrong with me other than a concussion. Then I
started acting like I had amnesia or Alzheimer’s. I kept forgetting things I
shouldn’t have. I have ringing in my ears a lot.” His mouth tightened. “They’ve
got me on a program of exercises to retrain my brain. That’s part of what I’m
doing at the cabin. Detoxing from my experience, I guess you could say.”

“And somehow you think that means you’re not heroic?”

“Add a little PTSD on for size from seeing two of my best
friends blown to bits and…” He trailed off and stared at the front windshield.

An ache started in her chest and she knew it wasn’t
heartburn. She’d heard about the problems these brain injuries could cause and
the lasting effects. “Traumatic brain injury.”

“They don’t know how long it’ll take me to recover
completely. Or even if I can stay in the Army.”

She understood more now, and recognized the deep ache that
had to have settled inside him. “And you intended to be career army.”

“Yep. Instead I might be on disability.”

She gazed at his handsome face and there wasn’t a damn thing
in his personal appearance that would lead her to think he was injured. Was it
worse to look fine when there were injuries that could fester and rot inside a
person that were every bit as painful? “Do people treat you as if you’re okay?
As if you weren’t injured?”

“All the time. Of course most people wouldn’t know any
different, but some I worked with acted like I was making up this whole brain
injury thing.”

“How ridiculous.” Anger rose inside her. “That’s stupid.”

He shrugged. “They saw what happened to me that day at the
FOB. They started to believe things about me, and I started to believe them
too.”

“Like what?”

“My friends that were killed that day. If I was heroic I
would have saved them.”

“How?”

“We heard the shell coming. I damn near froze. Don’t know
why because I never had before. My friends pushed me out of the way and ended
up being closer to the shell when it came in. They died. If they hadn’t pushed
me away they wouldn’t have been so close.”

Oh God.
“Survivor’s guilt.”

“So the shrinks tell me.”

“Jake.” She reached out and touched his forearm, and the
heat and strength under her fingers sent a tingle through her hand. “It wasn’t
your fault.”

He looked down at where she touched him, then his gaze met
hers. A hot warmth pooled in her lower stomach at the intensity in his eyes.
She withdrew her touch.

“You’d be a good counselor,” he said with renewed teasing in
his voice. “Here you just escaped a dangerous situation and you’re trying to
make me feel better.”

His praise made her feel good. “Is it working?”

“Definitely.” His voice went lower. “I always knew there was
something different about you.”

“Always?”

“When I went to the Tastee Freez that first time and you
were there with those two other women behind the counter I sensed you had
dignity. A desire to make more out of your life.”

“It’s a struggle but the alternative sucks.”

He chuckled, and the sound held a rich flavor that made her
attraction notch up another degree. “There’s that one girl. Vickie I think is
her name. She was always calling me Jack.”

Cecelia grinned. “That’s because the mere sight of you used
to make her nervous.”

His eyebrows went up. “Why?”

“Because you’re kind of a scary-looking dude, Jake.”

He grunted in disbelief. “Give me a break.”

“It’s true.” She cleared her throat and managed to say, “And
DeeDee, the other woman I work with at the counter, just thinks you’re hot.”

They laughed together, and the warmth and security the
action brought Cecelia was immeasurable.

“So that’s why DeeDee is always stuttering?” he asked.
“Because she thinks I’m hot?”

You are.
“Yes.”

He rolled his eyes and didn’t comment on that. “Those other
women you work with have cold eyes. Even when they smiled at me they didn’t
mean it. I could tell. I kept coming back to see if I’d just imagined the good
customer service you gave me, and if that smile was real. It was. Every single
time.”

Heat filled her face and she glanced down at her drab Tastee
Freez uniform. “This outfit doesn’t scream dignity. It screams dead end.” She
drew in a shaky breath. “That’s where Peter was trying to keep me. In my place.”

He took her hand, and when he pressed a quick kiss to her
fingers a dart of pure feminine reaction caused a catch in her breath.
Whoa
.

“It’s over now. The bastard can’t hurt you again.”

Gently she drew her hand from his, cautious about the
intensity of the feelings darting around inside her. “Thanks to you.” She
shifted gears quickly. “Both of us have a life to look forward to.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got a month to convince myself of that, if
ever,” he said. “You, on the other hand, have something to be proud of.You
struggled up from the pits to make something of yourself.”

Renewal wended its way through her, dimming the image of
Peter’s open, dead eyes. “I have.”

“Then cut yourself some slack.”

She smiled, albeit feebly. “Yes sir, Major.” A small
returning smile flashed over his mouth, and just the hint of good humor made
his dark good looks even more stunning. “I know how it is to have so many
doubts. When Janey died I let a traumatic event tear away my hard-won
confidence.”

“And you’re more confident now?”

“I think tonight might have done the trick. And will you
find what you need at the cabin? Peace of mind?” she asked.

“I don’t know.”

An idea, brilliant and sudden, came to her. “I always
wondered if there was something I wanted to specialize in with counseling. Now
I think I know.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Maybe I can help veterans in some small way. Give them new
hope.” The idea blossomed higher, and with a burst of enthusiasm she realized
the idea felt good and right.

A warm smile came over him, lighting his eyes. “You’d be
good at it.” Rain stopped abruptly. “Now the rain has stopped, I’ll try and
walk out.”

As it turned out, he didn’t need to. A sheriff’s department
car rolled up to them and soon they were telling their story.

Chapter Six

“Damn.” The young deputy called in what had happened as he
stood next to his patrol car. “You two are very lucky. The reason why I’m up
here is there’s a countywide manhunt for your ex-husband. He’s wanted for
robbing a gas station yesterday and killing the clerk. Show me where all this
happened.”

“Stay in the car,” Jake said to Cecelia. “You don’t need to
see this again.”

The deputy sheriff agreed, and she sat in the car and
allowed reaction to roll through her like the storm that had just cleared. When
they came back she sighed in relief. Being in the car alone had given her the
creeps. Soon other cops swarmed the area. An ambulance came and a paramedic
checked out her ankle and declared it a mild sprain. She refused further
medical attention. What she needed was a hot bath and a long sleep. Before
long, the deputy sheriff took them back into Redemption Ridge and to the
sheriff’s department on the opposite side of town. They were quizzed
separately, and she worried Jake would somehow be accused of doing more than he
should have—manslaughter perhaps. It took hours to do everything, to answer all
the questions and for paperwork to be filled out.

Relief filled her again when Jake met her in the lobby of
the sheriff’s department.

“You’re free to go?” she asked.

“Yep.”

“You’re not being charged with anything?”

His eyes were grim but he said, “Nothing. Self-defense right
now, but they’re still investigating before anything comes down as official.
They told me not to leave town and they’re confiscating my weapon as evidence.”
He touched her shoulder, where she’d slung her big handbag. “Get your purse
back?”

“It was turned in to the sheriff’s department about an hour
after Peter grabbed me. They were investigating it as a kidnapping.”

His eyes narrowed. “You aren’t going to try and work tonight,
are you?”

“Tastee Freez said don’t come in tonight, and the other job
said I have tomorrow off.”

“Here’s hoping you can quit those jobs soon and find
something better.”

She smiled, feeling more at ease than she had in hours.
“From your lips to heaven’s ears.” She made a quick decision, and it felt
right. “Do you have anyone coming to pick you up?”

“I was about to call a cab.”

“No friends in town?”

“Most of my friends moved out of Redemption Ridge a long
time ago.” A slow grin warmed his mouth. “Guess you’re my only friend.”

Friend.
An awakening in her body said she wanted to
be far more than his friend. “My car is still in the parking lot at the mall.
The cops are going to take me over there. Why don’t I drive you back to your
cabin?”

He rubbed his hand over his stubble-roughened jaw. A flicker
of interest, maybe even heat, simmered in his eyes. “Okay. Thanks.”

A deputy dropped them off at her car in the mall parking lot
and they headed back up the hill to his cabin in her small compact.

As they drove the silence became overwhelming. When they
reached the cabin she admired the A-frame. “Beautiful place.”

“Hell to reach in winter. Glad it’s only fall.” He stared at
her, his gaze intent. “You going to be all right?”

“Yes.” She knew it with absolute certainly. Soon the sun
would be up, but she felt like she’d lived a thousand days in just one night.
“Yes.”

Those dark eyes shimmered with interest. He leaned closer
and the console in between them seemed like a huge barrier. “Something I have
to get off my chest.”

For one flicker of a moment she felt like a deflated
balloon. Was this where he said goodbye forever? “Okay.”

“The reason I kept coming back to Tastee Freez wasn’t for
their sugary drinks. It was you.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “Me?”

“I was attracted to you.” He reached out and lightly touched
one strand of her curly black hair. “Even more so now. I wanted to ask you out
but with everything going on in my head I didn’t think it would be the right
time.”

She was a little stunned, and knew she could blame the last
several hours and her sleep-deprived brain. The sincerity in his eyes told the
truth, and she knew she had to speak honestly. “I was attracted to you too.”
She swallowed hard. “But my mistrust of men kept me from approaching you.”

A grim line returned to his mouth. “I don’t want you to see
me as some sort of hero or for you to feel pressured or distrustful.”

Disappointment almost overwhelmed her understanding but she
knew he was right. “Okay.”

“Take whatever time you need and decide if you want to see
me again. It’s all in your hands.”

The fact he’d give her the space and the respect made her
admire him even more. They exchanged numbers but made no promises on who would
call who or when.

“Good night,” he said softly.

When he left her car she watched him enter the big cabin
with a sense of both excitement and promise. She hoped she’d started something
special with the lonely soldier.

* * * * *

Cecelia hoped she wasn’t making a huge mistake. She’d been
impulsive again.

She drove up the long road into the forest a week later,
toward Jake’s cabin. Janey’s voice used to encourage her, but now her own
intuition did the guiding.

Take a deep breath and just take the road. Don’t allow it
to take you.

Jake hadn’t called. But then she hadn’t called him either.
Work had presented challenges that whole week. Other workers at the mall were
curious. Reporters had approached her. She’d brushed them off and refused
interviews. Vickie and DeeDee had seemed jealous of the attention she received,
and her supervisor had become even more dislikable if that were possible. She’d
gritted her teeth and moved forward, determined they wouldn’t get to her.

A week had brought clearer perspective, but it had only made
her attraction to Jake more profound. She glanced at the small wrapped present
and card on the seat next to her. It was the least she could do to show her
appreciation for Jake saving her life, and whether he believed it or not, he
was
a hero.

As the miles rolled on, she tensed a little. She passed the
area where Peter’s car had stopped and he’d hauled her out of the trunk. She’d
learned that the authorities had cleared Jake from any wrongdoing, and the
relief that brought her was immense. All the more reason to see Jake and find
out how he was doing.

When she rolled up to his cabin she turned off the engine
and sat for a moment. She had to take a couple of huge breaths to calm down her
heart. She snatched up the card and present, slung her handbag over her
shoulder and left the car. The walk up to the big A-frame seemed to take
forever. Before she reached the door, it opened and Jake stood there.

A pleased smile and warm appreciation lit up his face.
“Hey.”

“Hey.” She stopped at the edge of the porch. “I hope you
don’t mind me just stopping by. I wasn’t sure if you’d even be home.”

She couldn’t mistake the welcome in his eyes, or the
admiration as his attention swept over her. She’d never felt sexy wearing a
simple sweater and jeans before. “Glad you caught me. Come on in.”

She followed him into the cabin. When he closed the door she
made a sound of pleasure. “Oh my God. This is beautiful.”

“It is. I hope I can own something like this one day.”

The cabin had art deco features built into the rustic
interior. Big rugs littered the hardwood floor and huge windows let in the
mountain sunshine. A big sectional couch, chairs, and a huge rock fireplace
gave the area a cozy ambiance.

He wandered into the modern kitchen. “Would you like
something to drink?”

“No. I’m good.”

He gestured to the living area. “Make yourself comfortable.”

She almost took one of the chairs but decided to sit on the
sectional instead. When he joined her and sat close her heart did a little leap
of pure sensual enjoyment.
Oh yeah.
Today he looked good enough to eat.
A red sweater clung to his muscled torso and the way his jeans hugged his tight
butt and thighs made her tingle in appreciation.

His gaze fell to the package in her hand and she held it out
to him. “A small thank-you.”

He clasped the card and box and simply stared at it a
minute. “For what?”

“You know for what. Saving my butt.”

One corner of that gorgeous mouth turned up. “You didn’t
have to do that.”

She smiled. “Shut up and open it, McNamara.”

He laughed and did as told. He pulled the ribbon apart and
unwrapped with caution, not ripping the paper as she expected. The thought of
those slow, thoughtful hands on her body flashed into her mind and a wave of
heat hit her.
God.

When he lifted the gift card out of the box he said, “This
is awesome. Thank you.”

“I didn’t know what you like to read, or even if you like to
read, so I got a gift card to the online bookseller and just hoped,” she said.

He nodded toward the stack of books on the coffee table. “I
can’t get enough reading. Fiction and nonfiction. I’m buying an E-reader soon
so I don’t have to carry so many books.”

“I’m glad I guessed right then.”

He opened the card and read it. She’d made sure it wasn’t
too personal or flowery and had a masculine outdoors scene on the front. She’d
penned simple words inside.

Thank you for everything. May the reading give you many
hours of enjoyment. Cecelia.

Heat filled her when he looked over at her with pleasure on
his face. “I’m glad you came by.”

She cleared her throat, a little self-conscious even though
her venture had turned out well so far. He placed the box and card on the
coffee table and when they settled back, he laid his arm on the couch behind
her.

“How have you been?” he asked. “How is your ankle?”

“A little sore but it’s on the mend.”

“Good.”

She explained about her coworkers and the reporters. “I find
that it all bounces off me. The experience with Peter really turned some things
around in my head. How are you? I heard you’ve been cleared of any wrongdoing
by the sheriff.”

“I was about to call you with the news if you hadn’t heard.
It’s a load off my mind. I’ve been thinking about what you said…about blaming
myself for my friends’ deaths. I’m not one hundred percent there yet but I may
be getting some perspective finally.” His eyes held sincerity, his voice low
and soft with truth.

She found herself leaning closer to him. “I’m happy you’re
feeling better. You’re a good man, Jake McNamara.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and the quick
brush of his skin against hers cause a tingle to race over her skin and pool in
her stomach. “Stay for dinner tonight. I mix up a mean plate of spaghetti.”

Pleasure made her answer quickly. “I’d love that.”

“Thank you for giving me a new beginning, Cecelia. We’ll
take this slow and easy.”

She drew closer to him. “There’s one thing I don’t want to
wait for.”

“What’s that?”

“When I was locked in that trunk there were a lot of things
that ran through my mind. And there was a big regret I had. A very big regret.
That if I didn’t make it out of the situation alive, I wouldn’t have the chance
to kiss you.”

When their eyes locked, she saw the need in his eyes and the
pure emotion.

“God, Cecelia.” He threaded his fingers through her hair.
“I’m so damned glad you’re here with me.”

When he leaned toward her, and she met him halfway, she got
the kiss she’d wanted. His mouth was warm and delicious and tasted of mint. He
cupped her face, his fingers gentle. She responded, wanting more than anything
to stay right here for an eternity. His kiss turned deeper, his tongue asking
permission, and she let him inside. One stroke and then another, and her
stomach did that little thrill and jump and arousal settled in her breasts and
belly.
Oh yes. This is good. Very good.

And the start of something wonderful.