Refuge (34 page)

I looked down at my shirt, which was now more
red than white, and grimaced. “I hate to tell you this, Jordan, but
I don’t think your shirt is going to make it.”

Tristan started issuing orders. “Callum, you
carry the young man down. Chris, call for a cleanup crew. We need
to keep everyone at the party away from the barn.” He looked at me.
“Now, let’s get you girls out of here.”

We waited for Callum to descend the ladder
with Derek over his shoulder before Jordan and I climbed down. As
soon as my feet hit the floor, my legs wobbled a little, but
Tristan was right behind me to keep me steady. “I’m just a little
tired,” I assured him when he looked worried.

Tristan kept his arm around me as we walked
to the barn entrance. “Can you walk to the SUV? I can carry
you.”

“Thanks, but I can make it on my own.” There
was no way I wasn’t walking out of here under my own steam.

“All right, let’s – ” Tristan looked at
something outside the barn and froze, his hand tightening on my
arm.

What now?
I peered around him, not sure what I’d
find. I saw Terrence, Josh, Seamus, and Niall standing to one side
and Olivia, Mark, Callum, and Jordan to the other. Between them
stood Nikolas. My stomach fluttered wildly at seeing him for the
first time since the kiss. It was impossible to see his expression,
so I had no idea what he was thinking or how he felt about seeing
me.

Does it matter? He made his feelings perfectly
clear.

I pulled away from Tristan and walked away
from the barn, intending to go around Nikolas. He was the last
person I wanted to talk to right now. I was done with his whole
hot-and-cold attitude, and I was not in the mood to be yelled at
for what had happened here. He could go find someone else to be his
emotional punching bag.

Nikolas made a sound deep in his chest, and
everyone but Tristan and I took a step back. I came up short and
narrowed my eyes at him. “Did you just growl at me?”

“Nikolas, she is okay,” Tristan said behind
me in a calm voice. Too calm.

I took a closer look at Nikolas and saw that
he was standing rigidly with his hands clenched into fists at his
sides. His eyes were so dark they looked black, and his face could
have been chiseled out of stone. I had seen him furious before, but
never like this. He looked like he was about to explode.

And he was staring right at me.

“Sara, listen to me,” Tristan said slowly.
“You need to walk toward him, talk to him, and let him know you are
okay.”

“I don’t understand,” I said without taking
my eyes off Nikolas.

Tristan’s exhale was loud in the silence. “I
know and I will explain it to you later. Right now, you need to do
what I tell you. Nikolas’s Mori is upset, and the only thing that
will calm him is to see that you are unhurt.”

Nikolas was about to lose it and Tristan
wanted me to go to him? Was he nuts? “Can’t he see that from
here?”

“No. You need to get a lot closer. He won’t
hurt you. If there is anyone here who is safe from him, it is
you.”

My breath caught. What the hell did that
mean? Was Nikolas going to hurt the others if he lost control? Why
was I the only safe one? I darted a glance at Terrence and Josh who
looked like they were too terrified to move.
Ah hell.
I really hoped Tristan
knew what he was doing.

I took a gulp of air and approached Nikolas.
A few feet from him I could feel hot waves of fury rolling off his
body. “Look, Nikolas, I’m perfectly fine, see? Okay, I’ve looked
better, but that’s beside the point.”

He didn’t respond or move, and I could see
something feral, something savage behind his eyes as they locked
with mine. Cold fingers tickled the back of my neck, and my Mori
stirred restlessly.
What am I supposed to do now?

“Touch him,” Tristan called softly, and I had
to stop myself from spinning around to gape at him.

“What?”

“Take his hand. Trust me.”

My stomach twisted nervously as I moved until
no more than a foot separated us. Without taking my eyes from
Nikolas’s, I reached out and placed my hand inside his. The instant
we touched, my fingers twitched as a warm tingle ran through them.
Then they were crushed as his hand closed around them in a painful
grip.

“Ow!” Tears sprang into my eyes, and I
smacked him hard in the chest with my free hand. “Let go!” When he
didn’t respond, I reached up and slapped his cheek. “Nikolas, snap
out of it! You’re breaking my hand.”

He released my hand, but before I could nurse
my bruised fingers, he pulled me against him and wrapped his arms
around me so tightly I could scarcely breathe. His whole body
trembled, and I could feel his heart thumping furiously beneath my
cheek. My fear was swept aside by an overwhelming need to comfort
him, and I wriggled my arms free to wrap them around his waist.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here,” I whispered, rubbing my hands against
his back. My own traitorous heart sped up at his nearness, and I
could not help thinking about the last time I touched him.
This
is not the
same.
There would be no repeat of the other night.

Minutes passed, during which his trembling
faded and his heart rate slowly returned to normal. I was about to
ask him again if he was okay when his arms loosened and fell to his
sides. I took a cautious step back and looked up at him. His face
was still hard, but at least he no longer had that crazed look in
his eyes. The anger seemed to have burned itself out.

Tristan came up behind me. “Nikolas, we need
to get Sara and the others home.”

Nikolas looked at him over my head and
nodded.

I looked from him to Tristan, waiting for one
of them to explain what had just happened. Tristan gave a slight
shake of his head, and Nikolas did not seem inclined to speak to me
at all. My gaze fell on Terrence, who still looked half scared to
death, and then on Jordan, who watched us with more curiosity than
fear. What the hell was going on, and why was I the only one who
seemed confused?

This time when I moved to go around Nikolas,
he did not try to stop me. I didn’t look at anyone else; I just
started walking toward the driveway where our SUVs were. Physically
I was fine, but my emotions were a wreck. I needed answers, but
right now I needed some space.

I heard footsteps behind me and knew it was
him, but I didn’t stop until I reached the two black SUVs parked at
the end of the driveway. I tried the back door on one and it was
unlocked, so I got in and sank wearily onto the leather seat, not
caring about the vampire blood I was getting all over it. I rested
my head against the headrest and closed my eyes while I waited for
someone to come and drive me home.

Muffled voices carried to me from outside,
and it sounded like people were arguing. I tuned them out until the
door across from me opened and Tristan got in. At the same time,
Seamus and Niall took the front seats and Seamus started the
vehicle. I turned my head toward Tristan, who looked tired for the
first time since I’d met him.

“Where is Jordan?” I asked him.

“She’ll follow in the other vehicle. Do you
want me to get her?”

“No, that’s okay.” Jordan was most likely
having the time of her life bragging to the others about her
vampire kills, and I wouldn’t ruin her fun. I wished I could join
them, but I was too freaked out by whatever it was that had just
happened with Nikolas.

Tristan placed a hand over mine on the seat.
“I’ll explain it to you at home.”

No one spoke on the drive back to the
stronghold, which told me that whatever Tristan was going to tell
me was probably something I was not going to like. When we got
there, the first person I saw was Nikolas, standing outside the
main entrance, waiting for us. He didn’t say anything, but he wore
a scowl and I could feel his eyes on me as we passed him.

Inside, Tristan tried to bring me to the
medical ward, and I refused, insisting I was not hurt. All I wanted
was a shower and some answers, in that order. But when I started
for my room, Tristan said it was best if I came with him to his
apartment instead. Something in his expression told me it was best
not to fight him on this one.

Tristan’s apartment had a guestroom, and I
closed myself in there as soon as we arrived. I pulled off my
blood-soaked clothes and stuffed them in a garbage bag, sure that
Jordan would not want her top back. She’d probably love the excuse
to order more clothes for both of us.

When I emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a
thick robe, I was surprised to see some of my clothes laid out on
the bed. Whoever had gotten them from my room had also remembered
to get a fresh bra and panties. Normally I would be embarrassed by
the thought of one of the warriors going through my underwear
drawer, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about it.

Tristan was waiting for me in the living room
when I finally emerged from the guestroom. “What’s wrong?” he
asked, and I realized I was frowning.

“Every time I go out, I come back looking
like Carrie after the prom.” I heaved a sigh. “At least this time I
didn’t need a doctor. I guess my luck is improving.”

“I would not call what happened tonight luck.
You and Jordan should be very proud of yourselves.”

I took a seat on the couch. “I am, and I know
she is. She’s probably telling anyone who will listen about
it.”

Tristan chuckled. “I’m sure she is. She is
one of the finest young warriors I’ve ever seen. I am glad you have
become friends.”

“Me too.”

Neither of us spoke for a moment. It was easy
to see that he had something on his mind and he was not sure how to
start. When he did speak, it was the absolute last thing I had
expected to hear from him. “Sara, before I explain things, I need
to ask you something. The last thing I want to do is invade your
privacy, but I have to ask this. Have you and Nikolas been
intimate?”

“What? No!” I sputtered. Heat flooded my
face. “Why would you ask me that?”

He looked as uncomfortable as I felt. “I
don’t mean sex. I mean, has there been any physical contact between
you . . . outside of training?”

I stared down at my clenched hands. “A few
nights ago . . . we kissed. It was just one kiss and don’t worry,
Nikolas made it crystal clear that it was a mistake. That was the
last time I saw him until tonight.”

“I see.”

“See what?” I looked at him again. “What does
that have to do with anything?”

He put a hand through his blond hair and
sighed. “I was hoping to have a little more time before I explained
this to you. If you had grown up among the Mohiri, you would have
learned about these things by now.” He paused. “What I’m going to
tell you might be a bit hard for you to understand at first, given
your human upbringing, but it is very natural among our people.
Please, let me tell you everything and then you can ask all the
questions you need to.

I nodded mutely and pulled my knees up to my
chest, wrapping my arms around them as if they could shield me from
whatever he was about to reveal to me. The last time someone had
spoken to me in this tone, it was Nikolas telling me I was Mohiri.
I didn’t think I was ready for another revelation like that
one.

Tristan paused a moment before he launched
into his story. “We are like humans in many respects, except for
the obvious differences. We have relationships, and we date and
form emotional connections. Couples can remain together for many
years, but most don’t form unions like human marriages. In order
for us to join with another, they must be our,
solmi
, our life mate. Most of
us go many years before we meet a potential mate, but when we do,
our Mori recognize each other immediately from the first
touch.”

Solmi? That’s what my Mori called . . .

“Males usually feel the bond first, and it is
stronger for us. Our first instinct is to become very protective of
our female. As you have seen, Mohiri females are strong and most do
not want to be protected, so the courtship can be a bit volatile in
the beginning. As deeper feelings form, the bond begins to grow
between them and it strengthens the more they spend time together,
particularly if they are . . . intimate in any way. Eventually,
they complete the bond and become life mates. It is a very deep and
profound experience.”

I tried to swallow, but my mouth was too dry.
My insides felt like they were on a rollercoaster, and my emotions
were along for the ride. “I-I think I know what you are trying to
say, but you’re wrong. I would know if I . . . if we . . . ”
Anxiety gripped me. “He doesn’t want . . . ”

“Nikolas called and told me about your bond a
few days after you disappeared in Maine. He knew you weren’t dead
because the bond was still there.” Tristan paused to let that sink
in, and I remembered Nate telling me how Nikolas had been sure I
was still alive and he had refused to give up looking for me.

“Another Mohiri female would have recognized
the bond between her and a male, but you don’t have a normal
connection with your Mori. Otherwise, you would sense Nikolas when
he is near, as he does with you. That is why I asked Nikolas to
give you time to become accustomed to our way of life before
telling you about the bond. You’re young and you’ve been through so
much recently. You were upset about leaving home, and I didn’t
think you were ready to hear this. Nikolas didn’t want to upset you
or confuse you more than you were. He didn’t like it, but he agreed
to go away for a while and give you space and some time to adjust.
He refused to stay away any longer when he heard about the lamprey
attack. He came back that night.”

I chewed on my lower lip and tried to calm my
stomach. It just couldn’t be true. Yes, I could feel Nikolas when
he was close, but that didn’t prove anything. I’d seen him with
Celine, and the way he looked at me after we had kissed, there was
no mistaking the regret in his eyes. Those were not the actions of
a man enamored with me. “But I saw him . . . with Celine. And he
told me the kiss was a mistake.”