Regali (A Walker Saga) (22 page)

I was close to comatose for days. Josian and Lucy kept me
on his world, secluded from everyone, and since no one remembered Brace and my melding, they had to make up something about extra training to explain my absence. Apparently Josian had to be very convincing to stop Lallielle from coming to find me. So while Lucy never left my side, Josian went back and forward between the worlds. In this time he continued to train the half-Walker females.

During those few days I’d been present in my head, but it took me awhile to piece myself back together. For some reason after Lucy’s vision I expected to feel stronger in my power without Brace, once I stopped sharing with him, but to be honest I’d never felt weaker. It had to be the pain in my heart and soul that was draining my strength.

“Are you ever going to say anything, Abbs?” Lucy was holding my hand.

I’d properly awoken
that morning, managed to eat some food but hadn’t spoken yet. I just didn’t have anything to say. Well, that wasn’t completely true.

“Did Dad speak with Brace?” My voice was hoarse.

Lucy gripped my hand tighter. “Yes, he went to congratulate him as the new Princeps of Abernath.”

“Did he remember?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Jos said it was weird
. He remembered you and he knew everything about our mission. But it was as if the romantic moments between you and him had been removed.” She cleared her throat. “Apparently he did seem confused on occasion, but that’s to be expected.”

“What about Colt? Does he remember you?” I wasn’t sure to what extent the memories had been taken.

“Oh, yeah, he remembers.” She snorted. “He hasn’t been very understanding about where I am and why he can’t know what happened to you.”

Her sympathetic gaze met mine. “And you might have another problem.”

I pulled myself up to sit. I was starting to get used to the roaring pain that was char-grilling me from the inside out. And nothing was changing soon so I might as well pull myself together.

“Hit me with it.” It could be added to my list of problems a mile long.

“Lucas is demanding you return and take your place as Empress.”

I shook my head. “Uh
, what? Haven’t I made my position on that clear to him?”

“Yes, but he
’s forgotten much of that, Abbs. All the memories of your bond to Brace have been removed. So Lucas doesn’t know of any reason why you’re not the chosen Empress, and apparently it’s time to take your throne.”

“Holy freaking eff.”

“Word,” Lucy said. “Josian has started working on him, explaining that your mission comes first. He may have bought you a little time.” She shrugged. “But I’ve never seen Lucas so determined.”

“Should have asked the lalunas to remove Lucas’ memories too
,” I joked as I stood up.

Lucy threw me a clean set of clothes
, which had been folded on the end of the bed. “Speaking of crazy little fairies,” she said, “your stone has been next to you since the bond was broken.”

I’d already known it
was there. Its warmth and strength had been one of the things which helped me open my eyes. Picking it up, I cradled it gently in my hands.

“Thank you
,” I whispered as I kissed it.

It must have sensed that I was okay right
then and it disappeared.

I felt Josian’s power enter the cavern.

“Lucy.” He strode into the room. “How’s our girl doin …?”

He trailed off as he noticed me standing there. “Baby girl.” His shout echoed around.

He scooped me up into his arms.

In the last ten minutes I felt as if I’d become an expert at holding the pain inside. I could smile now despite the complete void of hope and joy inside.

“I need to speak with Jedi,” I said, wasting no time on other pleasantries.

If I didn’t stay busy I would go nuts.

Josian regarded me carefully. “Are you sure you don’t need a few more days to deal with these emotions
?”

I shook my head. “No, less time to think is what I need. And the sooner I can save these worlds, the sooner I can see if there
’s any way to repair my relationship with Brace.”

“You
’re strong, and I’m very proud of you. Eighteen years of life is so short to be so brave and smart.” He hugged me again.

In that moment I didn’t feel strong, I was like brittle glass set to shatter with a hard tap. But as long as I knew what I had to do next and took one step after another, I’d make it through t
he day.

“The Princeps are meeting at our place tomorrow
,” Josian said. “I never expected you would be awake, otherwise I would have suggested a different location. But that’s going to be a good opportunity to speak with Jedi.”

“But Brace will be there.” Lucy’s voice was tinged with horror. “Don’t you think that’s going to be a bit difficult?”

“Brace declined the invitation
. He said he can’t get away from Abernath at the moment. There’s too much with becoming a new Princeps,” Josian said. “I encouraged that and said I’ll let him know anything that’s discussed.”

I straightened. “That’s fine, and even if he
was there, I can’t avoid him forever. It’ll be like ripping off a bandage: better to get it over with.”

Lucy snorted. “More like ripping off a limb
, but whatever you think.”

Yep, she was right, but I had no problem lying to myself.

She studied me for a few moments.

“You want to see him
, don’t you?” Her jaw dropped. “Why?”

I sighed
. She couldn’t let me live a lie for five seconds.

“I need to see that he doesn’t remember me. I have to make sure it worked.”

“And what if it’s so painful you relapse into the comatose state?” Lucy demanded. “I don’t want to see you like that again.”

“I won’t.” I was sure of that. “That was simply my mind and body adjusting to the loss of my bond.” The loss of Brace in my soul.

His presence had been so warm, strong, I had never felt alone. But now the very essence of my being was rattling around an empty room alone. All alone.

“I’m so sorry that you have to go through this, sacrifice your love.” Lucy’s soft heart got the better of her and her eyes filled with tears.

And I knew, after Colton and the town fair, that she really understood now.

“I kind of think it was something I deserved. I should never have freed the third Seventine, whether I was manipulated or not. Now I need to earn back my love.”

I straightened, pushing back my curls, determination flooding me.

“Brace and I will be together. I will fight forever for him, so for now I’ll stay strong and try for some patience.”

“Well, patience is not your strongest asset, but I know you can do it.” Lucy wrapped me in a hug.

“I’ll be glad to stop lying to your mother about your mission to find inner peace
,” Josian grumbled.

I grinned at him. “Did you tell her I was meditating?”

“Don’t laugh
; it’s been very difficult. I never lie to her and she’s so smart.” He ran a hand through his blood-red hair. “She keeps asking me about a lotus or something, and I have no idea what to say.”

Lucy and I fell into each other, laughter erupting from us. The kind of good, cleansing, chest
-rattling laughter.

“Come on
, comedians, let’s go home.” Josian opened a doorway and dragged us both through.

“Abby!” Talina was the first to run at me. “I’ve missed you; I’m so glad you’re back.” She wrapped me in her arms, her emerald hair surrounding us like a cloud.

“How is
Ladre doing?” I pulled back.

She both blushed and preened. “He
’s amazing. Still a little scarred but much more stable than I’d be. And the best part is being away from the prejudices of Spurn and having time to actually talk.” Her already pink face deepened to a rosy color. “Well, I’m finding we have a lot in common.”

“I’m so happy for you.” And I was
.

N
o one deserved happiness more than gentle Talina. I just hoped Ladre loved her the way she deserved. I’d reserve judgment until I saw them together.

“Aribella.” My mother’s scolding tone washed over me. “Don’t run off without telling me.” She pulled me into a hug. “One day when you have your own children you
’ll understand.”

I felt a little confused
. No one was usually this over-protective toward me. I disappeared all the time. Granted, I usually said where I was going, but this was over-kill. Josian must have noticed my confusion.

It’s because they no longer know about Brace.

I jumped as his voice sounded in my head. I hadn’t dropped my barriers.

How are you in my head?

Your barriers were weak and I just pushed past.
He sounded concerned.
I assumed that you did it to let me in.

Why were my barriers so weak?

What were you saying about Brace?
I decided to worry about it later.

When you were melded people worried less about you. For us, knowing you always had Brace watching out for you was a relief. Now they think you
’re alone and therefore want to protect you more.

I sighed.
These things certainly have a ricocheting effect.

It will be further reaching than you ever expected. Now try and reinforce your barriers before the Princeps arrive.

I hadn’t had to work on my mental protection for a long time. I pulled on my energy and encased my thoughts.

More
,
Josian said.

I added another layer and waited. He nodded a couple of times at me
. I’d take that. He must not be able to get through and if he couldn’t no other Walker – except probably Brace – could either.

“When is the meeting?” I asked out loud.

“I’ve set everyone up at the large dining table,” Lallielle said. “They should be here within the hour.”

“Will we be present?” Ria asked. “If you
’re discussing the Seventine then we should be in there.”

Sometime
s the Queen was really obvious in Ria’s personality.

“
Yes,” Josian said, “it would be for the best if you were part of the discussions.”

Lallielle led us through the house to the formal dining room near the back. We never usually ate there, preferring the more casual atmosphere of the space that bordered the kitchen. But that table wasn’t big enough for everyone, so into the overly fancy room we crowded.

“I think I
’ll wait outside.” Ladre’s words drew our attention.

I’d forgotten how distinct the lisping tongue of the Spurn’s was.

“Talli will fill me in on what was discussed.”

Talina ran over to give him a hug
. They touched foreheads briefly and he was gone.

“Well
, I’m not leaving.” Dune said. “I need to know when Fury and I can return to Crais. I’m worried about my dragoona.”

I stared at him. “I can take you back there whenever you want, Dune. You don’t have to stay with Fury all the time.”

He laughed. “You’ve never been mated, Abby, so it’s hard for you to understand, but where Fury goes I go. Especially if there’s danger.”

I opened my mouth to reply, before slamming it shut again. What was I supposed to say
? Everyone here, bar two, thought I was an independent, unmated half-Walker. No one could see the pain inside, the tattered golden embers of the cord in my mind. No one knew.

Lucy gave me a sympathetic smile.

Lallielle interrupted the awkward moment by declaring she had to get refreshments
, and then, as she left the room, the rest of us moved into our assigned places. There were ten seats on either side of the table and one on each end. The four of us half-Walkers sat on one side. The other side was for the Princeps. Josian took his seat there. Dune and Lucy sat away from the table in two of those waiting chairs against the wall. When Lallielle returned she had Grantham, Krahn and Nos following her.

We rose to greet them, before
sitting down again. Which was a waste, because at that moment Jedi and Tatiana entered the room. Once the formal greetings and small talk were out of the way everyone got down to discussing the situation with the Seventine.

“So there are four released now?” Tatiana spoke
. She looked calm and her words were strong. “And there’s nothing to be done except collect the rest of the girls and try and figure out how to lock them back in their prison.”

“We tried
the ritual of the four.” I addressed the room. “And it didn’t work. Br –” I caught myself before I said his name, but it was close. “We think it was because they were releasing the fourth at the same time we were performing the ritual. The energy collided or something and the Seventine were stronger.”