Release (6 page)

“Well, I dabble
a little in painting myself.  My medium is watercolor, but my focus in
education and research is in Contemporary Art.  I just paint for myself
though, not to show it or anything.  So I guess I started studying it
primarily for my own love of it, but I hope to, someday, use it in a career.”

“Have you ever
shown it to anyone?  Your art, I mean,” she asked gently, seeming to know
the answer before Ryann even responded.

“No. 
Somehow the thought of showing my artwork to people terrifies me.”

“As it
should.  It takes a lot of courage to share a part of your soul.  You
ask yourself, why would anyone even care about seeing what I’ve created? 
But I promise you honey, after the first time you open yourself up that way,
there’s a freedom which allows your creativity to thrive.  You’re not
painting for anyone else but yourself.  But when your creation can give
joy to someone who observes it, what a beautiful and humbling thing it
is.  I, for one, would love to see your work when you’re ready to share
it.”

Ryann looked at
this woman who understood her so well, and blinked back an unexpected rush of
tears.  She hugged Tabitha, and said, “Thank you.  I promise you,
you’ll be the first.”

“It was such an
honor to meet you, honey.  Thank you for coming tonight, and allowing me
to share a bit of
my
soul with
you
.  I’m humbled you find
such joy in my creations.”

“I do,
Tabitha.  And thank you, again.  It was an honor to meet you as
well.”

Ryann struggled
for a second with whether she should tell her that she would be doing her
internship at the Institute starting within the next week.  But before she
could speak, Jeremy stepped into Ryann’s line of vision after having given her
and Tabitha that private moment.

“Ryann, I only
need three minutes to have my mom sign some papers, then we’ll be on our way.”

God, she was
torn.  She wanted to go with him, and at the same time didn’t want him to
take her home, because she knew damn well what would happen if he did. 
The thought left her both terrified, and electrified at the same time.

“Jeremy…” she
stammered.

Her hesitancy
was obvious, because he said quietly so his mother couldn’t hear him, “We’ll
talk about this after the business with my mom is finished.”

Ayanna’s voice
was screaming at her again. 
You’re not some 16 year old virgin,
Ry.  You’re a grown woman!  What on earth are you waiting for?! 
He’s a gorgeous, juicy, DELICIOUS man…just get in the car and let him have his
way with you already!

She said under
her breath, “Jeremy, I’m going to call for a car.  Please.  Let’s not
argue about this.”

His eyes burned
into her.  “This will only take a minute.”

He turned to his
mother.  “Mom, why don’t you sign the papers now, since I have them, and
then it will finally be settled.  I left them back in the kitchen with
Janie.  I’ll go and get them.”  He gave Ryann a look that said
Wait
here
, then went to get the papers he was referring to.

There was a
moment of silence, and Ryann turned to smile at Tabitha.  Tabitha, who
looked so content in that moment, said, “You know, I wouldn’t be where I am
today in my career if it weren’t for Jeremy.”

Ryann looked at
her inquisitively.

“He’s been a
tremendous support to me... such a strong man… a lot like his dad.” 
Pause.  “Did you know he lost his father at 15?”

Ryann, shocked,
shook her head.

“Cancer.” 
She sighed.  “Jim was my rock.  He was, well, he was awesome.” 
Her face took on a wistful look.  “He was such a funny man.  And he
was so…sexy.”  She laughed appreciatively.  “He loved chocolate,
too,” she winked with a naughty smile.  “I still miss him.  After he
died, Jem and I both looked out for each other.  Here he was a young man
himself, grieving the loss of his father, me grieving the loss of my first
love…but Jeremy remained so grounded.  He was very protective of me… But I
was able to find love again.   And even though it took a bit for him
to warm up to the idea of me marrying Will, who had been a family friend for
years, he was in full support of seeing me happy again.  Now he and Will
adore each other.”

She took a deep
breath, then continued.  “I hope you don’t mind me mentioning this but
when I was saying goodbye to my sister, she reminded me of your history. 
I remember when Robbie talked about your loss a couple of years ago.”  She
reached out and took Ryann’s hand.  “It will be my hope and prayer that
you’ll be able to find love again, too.”

As if they were
in a performance, Jeremy made his entrance at that moment and looked between
the two of them.  “What have you two been talking about?  Should I be
nervous?” he asked dryly.

“Not at all,
sweetie.  We were just chatting.  Let’s get this done, ok?  As
much as I’ve enjoyed being the VC at the Institute, it will be nice to focus
solely on my painting.  You’re going to be a wonderful replacement,
baby.  You’re knowledge of the art world will definitely come in handy.”

“I’m looking
forward to it.”

Ryann started.  She began to
hear a buzzing in her ears, and was feeling lightheaded.

Had she heard
correctly?  Was Jeremy taking over his mother’s spot on the board at the
Manhattan Institute for Art and Design?!  She was momentarily
stunned.  Discovering at that moment that he was potentially no longer
available to her, hurt her more than she would’ve thought. 

The buzzing in
her ears got louder.  She had to get out of there.

She took a shaky
inhale.  “I’m just going to get my coat and umbrella.”

His eyes
narrowed, “I’ll only be a minute.”

Ryann nearly
stumbled in her haste to get to the door.  She grabbed her coat and
umbrella, and ran outside desperate to find a cab, since she now had no time to
call for a car.  Thank God she hadn’t gotten into that limo with him, she
thought.

She knew the
Board of Trustees had many responsibilities, but the one that had just given
her heart a jolt was the one where the trustees oversaw the personnel, and the
hiring of their instructors.  Given the fact that he would now be the new
Vice Chairperson, and she was interning to be an instructor there, the ethical
implications meant she could never have a relationship with him.  The
realization left her feeling a tangible loss she hadn’t felt in months.

This was for
the best...this was for the best...this was for the best….
She continued
the mantra in her head.

Having spent the
last hour or so in the presence of a frustrating, but beautiful man whose sole
purpose was to tell her how much he wanted her, made her crave that feeling of
desire once more.  She hadn’t been on the receiving end of that kind of
attention since Brent, and now that she had a taste of it again, she couldn’t
remember how she had survived without it.  

Her eyes began
to burn with unshed tears, and she had to stave them off until she could catch
a taxi.  The keen loneliness enveloped her, and she knew that if she
didn’t get out of there in the next 10 seconds, she would be a sobbing mess.

Just as she
hailed a cab, and had one foot inside the door, she heard a voice yelling
behind her from several feet away, “Ryann?  Ryann!”

She quickly
stammered, “I’m sorry, Jeremy.  I need to go!”  With that, she
climbed into the car, slammed the door, and in a panic said, “Go!”

As the cab
pulled out, she never looked back.  It was better this way.  He would
realize soon enough the reason why she left, and she was sure he would agree.

After Ryann told
the driver her address, she slumped back into the seat with relief, a lone tear
tracking down her face.  She swiped it away furiously, annoyed with
herself.  All she wanted to do was shut off her brain and get into
bed.  She had a long day ahead of her with packing, picking up her car
from the service station, not to mention being ready for the movers coming Sunday
to take her to her new home in Chelsea.

She needed her
energy, so she closed her eyes and tried not to think.  Or more
accurately, feel.  Quiet tears leaked from her eyes.

Thankfully, the commute getting home was quicker than
the one getting into the City.  She was pulling up to her house only 30
minutes later.  The taxi stopped in front of the FOR SALE sign on her
lawn.

As Ryann was
digging through her purse to pay the fare, she heard a knock on the window.

There, standing
in the rain, was Jeremy.

He opened the
door and calmly offered his hand to help her out of the cab.

“Jeremy…” she
stuttered, “what the hell are you doing here?!”

She had to
clench her teeth to keep them from chattering.  Her body had a mind of its
own when it came to him, and as soon as she saw him outside the window, her
body went from tingling all over, to goose bumps, to a beautiful warmth that
seeped through to her bones.

“I promised my
aunt I would get you home safely, and I’m a man of my word.  I’ll pay the
cab driver.”

The butterflies
were going nuts in her stomach.  She had to admit, she was thrilled that
he followed her.  But if anything, that depressed her even more.  She
had to get away from him.  She quickly walked up to her door, hoping to
get inside before he was done, but he was behind her in a matter of seconds
while she stood there shaking, trying to get the key into the lock, all the
while balancing her umbrella.  She stopped and turned.

She put out her
hand as if to stop him.  “Jeremy, please.  You don’t understand,” she
said pleadingly.

Now that she was
under the light above her front door, he must’ve noticed she’d been crying,
because his face took on a tender and concerned look.  He reached his hand
up to cup her face.  “Then make me understand,” he whispered.  He
continued.  “It’s close to one o’clock in the morning, it’s pouring
outside and you’re shaking like a leaf.  Open the door, Ryann.  Now.”

“God, you’re
such a …
grrr.
  I don’t
want
you to come in, Jeremy. 
It’s only going to make matters more complicated.”

“I won’t stay
long.  I want to make sure you get in safely, and that you’re alright...
and I’m not taking no for an answer.  So,” he took the keys from her hand,
and unlocked the door.  “After you.”

It was so
obvious he was used to getting what he wanted.  The man was tenacious,
like a pit bull that had something between its teeth.  As long as that
something wasn’t her heart, she’d survive this.

She let out an
exasperated sigh, and walked into the house, stepping around boxes in the
process, and leaving her umbrella on the floor to dry.

Jeremy closed
the door, quickly glanced around, then zeroed in on her.  They were
cocooned in the darkened foyer.  The calming effect of the rain hitting
the roof was at odds with the electricity humming between them.

“You’re moving.”

She nodded.

“Is that why you
left in such a hurry?  Because you’re leaving the area and we wouldn’t
have time to explore what this is?”

She looked down,
sighed, and then met his penetrating gaze.  He looked upset.  And
hurt.

She steeled
herself.  “Jeremy, although I appreciate you following me home to make
sure I got here safely, it really was a wasted trip.”

He continued as
if she hadn’t spoken at all.  “When are you moving?”

She
sighed.  “On Sunday.”

“Where to?”

She hesitated,
then said wryly, “I’m moving…into the City.”

He raised an
eyebrow, and looked relieved…then he smiled his sexy smile, amused, smug. 
“You’re moving from New Jersey into the City?  How interesting.”

She allowed
herself a small smile, then turned serious again, remembering the reason for
the conversation.

He apparently
remembered as well.  “Tell me why you left me, Ryann.”

He was going to
find out eventually, so she might as well tell him.

“You’re the new
Vice Chairperson at the Manhattan Institute for Art and Design.”

He nodded, then
frowned.  “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m moving into
the City in two days to be closer to the Institute because I have a summer
internship there.”  She let it sink in before she continued. 
“Because I’m hoping to be hired there in the fall while I continue with my
thesis.”

She watched for
his reaction.  He continued to look at her, then slowly nodded his
head.  Tension seemed to be leaving his face.  “You’re leaving the
Academy?”

“I’m handing in
my resignation at the end of the summer.  I wanted to see how the
internship went first.”  Then she added, “And no one from the Academy
knows, so if you could withhold mentioning that to your aunt, I would appreciate
it.”

He looked
vaguely insulted.  “Of course.”

She bit her lip
nervously.  What was he thinking?  She couldn’t tell by his
expression.

Then he slowly
began to stalk toward her, stopping within a foot of her.

“That’s why you
left?  You anticipated there would be an ethical conflict, and we would
never be able to follow through with this.”  His finger waved between
them.

Trying to gain
the upper hand, she said, “I
left
because it was time for me to
leave.  I told you I didn’t need a ride home.  You just chose not to
listen.”

“That’s not why
you left,” he said quietly.

She didn’t want
to hear this.  Her heart began to beat faster.

“Of course not,”
she said with an eye roll.  “Because you know everything, don’t you,
Jeremy?  Well, if you want to live in some delusional world reinforcing
the belief that all women find you absolutely irresistible with your chiseled
good looks, then that’s fine, but I’m not living in that world with you.”

There. 
That told him.

He smiled his
lazy smile, and began to walk closer, crowding her space.  She just
admitted that she thought he had chiseled good looks.  Shit.

When he was a
breath away, he turned serious.  “You left because you’re scared.”

That struck a
chord, and immediately put her on the defense.  She sputtered.  “You
are such an arrogant, conceited, son of a –”

He interrupted
and continued in a calm voice.  “You’re scared because you haven’t been in
a relationship for a while and you’re wondering if you can find passion again.”

He shifted
toward her even more.  Her back to the wall, literally and figuratively.

Quietly and
intensely, he said, “Passion that makes your heart race, your blood flow
hot.  Passion that makes you so wet, you can’t think of anything else
other than relieving that beautiful tension which builds as a result of that
arousal.  You want that feeling to go on and on, because it makes you feel
so alive.”  He cupped her face.  “You’re alive, Ryann.  Don’t
you want to feel that passion again?”

She was
momentarily overwhelmed by emotion.  She was angry, but the loneliness
that had sunk its claws into her caused her to blink back tears, because what
he had said was so spot on.  At the same time, she was mortified that he
brought her vulnerability to the surface.

She began to
panic, and broke eye contact, looking around for an escape, but he had her so
close, there was nowhere to go.

Knowing her face
was flushed, she said furiously, “It’s time for you to leave, Mr.
McCallister.  You’ve done your good deed for the day.  I’m safely
home, so you can go now.”

She was
breathing heavily, and could feel her just barely holding on to her emotion.

“Don’t worry,
I’m leaving.”  Pause.  “And I’m so glad you explained everything to
me,” he purred.

His sarcasm
didn’t amuse her.  She let go of the breath she had been holding for the
past few moments.  Why wasn’t he leaving then?  She was about to say,
“Good”, when he spoke again.

“Fortunately, my
position doesn’t go into effect until Monday.”  He crowded her even more
until she could feel his body heat, smell his scent, and he was lightly
pressing her to the wall.  His left arm came up to cage her in, so his
elbow was resting above her shoulder, his fingers beginning to toy with her
hair.  His right hand slowly stroked up her arm, then ended at the base of
her neck.  He grabbed the hair there and tugged gently back until her face
tilted up to him, all while he leaned his hips into the notch where her thighs
met, nestling her womanhood.  “So, tonight, I’m going to allow myself a
taste…since you’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t live in that
delusional world where women find me irresistible.  This can’t go anywhere
anyway…right?” he whispered.

She was so
mesmerized by his scent, his closeness, his touch…she couldn’t move.

He leaned down
and ran his tongue softly along her bottom lip.  When she let out a shaky
breath, he took full advantage and lightly nibbled at her lower lip, plucking,
then melding his lips to hers.  His tongue dipped into her mouth and began
to swirl around, his lips eating at hers.

She could feel
herself turning to mush.  The fire of arousal that had been banked during
the cab ride, flared into a conflagration.

“Mmm,” he
murmured when he came up for air.  Within a second, he swooped back in
again, this time devouring her mouth, tugging more forcefully at her hair,
while the arm that caged her to the wall ran down the side of her body then
snaked around her waist and pulled her even more snugly to his erection. 
All the while, he continued to change the angle of his kiss, not allowing her
to breathe.

Sucking. 
Nibbling.  Consuming her.  She couldn’t think one coherent thought.

He began to
slowly grind his hips at the exact pressure point that, if continued, would
lead to her coming right then and there.  Her breath hitched while she
spiraled out of control, gasping, then winding her arms around his neck and
anchoring her fingers in his soft hair.  She instinctively began to grind
herself into his erection and could feel herself getting close.  God, he
felt so good.

As if sensing
she was about to come, he reached his left hand down to knead her ass, while
his other hand found her breast.  He flicked his thumb over her hardened
nipple and began plucking it, pinching.  Then he moved both hands to her
ass, kneading with both hands.  While continuing to kiss her, he bent his
legs, reached down for the hem of her skirt and began lifting it up.

One hand met the
flesh of her thigh, then her ass cheek, and when he reached around from behind,
he found her very wet thong.  She was burning for him.

She was so
overcome with sensations, she didn’t register the ramifications of what was
happening.  She just wanted to
feel.

His finger moved
the thong aside, and slid between her folds.  Ryann gasped into his
mouth.  So close.  She was so close.  God, she didn’t think she
could stop herself.

He held his
finger at her opening, inserting only the tip, massaging her there, while he
held her tight against him, grinding into her clit.  His other hand
reached up to her breast, and began squeezing.

She could hear
her own gasps.  She was almost there.

His mouth left
hers, and he nuzzled her ear saying, “Reach for it, Ryann.  Come on,
baby.  Come for me.”

He continued to
grind into her, then finding her nipple, he pinched.  And with a loud
whimper, she came with a keening groan…and soared over the edge.

…..

They were both
breathing heavily when she came down from her explosive climax.  He
continued to press her to the wall, which was a good thing, because she was
seriously close to falling over.

He still held
her to the wall with his hips, nibbling at her mouth, then staring intently
into her eyes.

She tried to
push him away, but he held her fast.

He inhaled at
her neck.  “God, you smell so good,” he said quietly through gritted
teeth.  He ground his erection into her one last time, then slowly he removed
his hand from underneath her skirt, pulling the hem down.

“I’m so glad
we’ve proven that you don’t find me irresistible.” He moved his upper body away
from her, and she felt the loss, her face burning with embarrassment.  He
took her face in his hands and looked at her.

She must’ve been
50 shades of red, forget grey, because she could feel the prickling heat in her
face.  He had barely touched her, and she had gone off like a firecracker.

And he had just
proven her wrong.  God, she was so mortified.

She looked away
from his stare, feeling like an inexperienced and desperate woman.  Before
she could spend any more time mentally castigating herself, the smell of her
arousal on his fingers cupping her face registered in her brain, and she began
to struggle in earnest.

He held her face
even firmer, shaking it slightly to get her to look at him, and held her still
with his hips.

“Wait.”

She
stilled.  She tried to calm her breath, and looked away.  He held her
face, re-directing her eyes back to him.

“I’m leaving,
but before I go, I want you to remember two things.”  Pause.  “This,”
he lifted the finger that had been inside her, and put it in his mouth,
sucking…his eyes glittering with lust.  When he removed his finger from
his mouth, he licked his lips as if he had just enjoyed a tasty treat.

God, why was he
doing this to her?

His eyes were so
hot on her face, she felt herself burning up.

“And this,” he
took her hand and cupped it over his cock.  She tried to move it away, but
he held it there, squeezing his hand on top of hers.

“When I want
something badly enough, I go after it, regardless of the obstacles in my
way.  Whatever this is, Ryann?  It’s there and it’s real.” 
Pause.  “So,” he ground himself into her hand one last time, and said
huskily, “consider yourself warned.”

She started
shaking her head, when he leaned in and softly bit her lower lip, then sucked
on it, relieving the sting.