Relentless Pursuit: A Novel (Secrets of Roux River Bayou) (22 page)

“It already has,” Zoe said. “God used Monsignor Robidoux to give Domi’s parents—and all of us who loved him—a positive way to remember him that will far outlive the pain. Ultimately, the pure and simple love that this child showed was a reflection of Jesus, who is our perfect example.”

“And you think God needed to let a little kid get murdered to make you see that?”

Zoe sighed. It had gone right over his head. “No. I’m saying the Lord didn’t let this tragedy be all about the bad guys. He used it to show us, through Domi’s example, what living a simple, pure life looks like.”

“Why didn’t God just stop it from happening in the first place?”

“Only He can answer that. He gave us all free will. And sometimes one person uses his free will to hurt or kill someone else. I don’t think God is
ever
happy about that. Vengeance belongs to Him, and there will be a day of judgment. But isn’t it significant that God speaks to us, even in our pain—and the things that hurt us He will use for good in a believer’s life?”

Sax was quiet for a moment. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Zoe nodded.

“As a Christian, how do you deal with the way your father treated you?”

“I’ve forgiven my dad.”

“From what you’ve said, he didn’t deserve it.”

“You’re right,” Zoe said. “But neither did I. I’ve made a lot of mistakes that have hurt a lot of people. God forgave me anyway and commands me to do the same. It’s all about grace. In fact, that’s why Pierce and I named our daughter Grace. But that’s another story.”

“So did forgiving your father bring you peace?”

“Forgiving him was an act of obedience. I didn’t really feel anything. It wasn’t until after I let go of the anger and bitterness that I began to experience peace like I had never known.”

Sax wrapped his hands around his orchard smoothie and seemed far away for a moment. “Thanks for giving me straight answers. I don’t get that much. Usually when someone finds out I’m ticked off with God, they run the other way, as if they think the lightning is going to hit me and they don’t want to get too close.”

“I’m not worried about the lightning,” Zoe said. “But my past is intensely personal. I really don’t want to rehash it.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you any more personal questions. I just wanted to understand how Christians handle disappointments with God. I’m in the pursuit of peace at the moment and really believe the key lies in reconciling my past mistakes. God’s not really in the equation. I don’t trust Him or want His help.”

“I’m going to pray your perspective changes. I don’t think you can find true peace and be at odds with the Prince of Peace.” Zoe rose to her feet. “I should get busy. I have orders to place this afternoon before my babysitter leaves. Will you be coming in for dinner?”

“I’ll be here around six. And should Pierce want to pass another fine dish under my nose, I’m totally open. He’s an amazing chef.”

Zoe smiled. “I’ll tell him.”

She turned and walked toward the kitchen, relieved to stop talking about issues that were difficult enough for believers to understand.

Lord, why does he make me so uncomfortable? Is it because I haven’t completely dealt with my own past? Is it time for me to go home and see my mother?

Chapter 23

Just before bedtime, Zoe stood on the gallery that jutted out above Zoe B’s and looked at the swarm of tourists that covered
rue Madeline.
Closing the street to traffic after 7:00 p.m. was one of the wisest moves the city council had ever made.

She never grew tired of watching people from all over the world enjoying her city. All up and down
rue Madeline
, colorful neon lights flashed outside quaint shops and eateries that offered every imaginable food, gift, or souvenir. A Cajun band played at Breaux’s and filled the street with lively music. Three white-faced mimes did a skit in front of Beads-a-Plenty, and Madame Duval, poodle in arms, looked down from the gallery above the Coy Cajun Gift Shop.

The first of two horse-drawn carriages, filled to the brim with tourists, pulled up in front of the Hotel Peltier to let passengers off and make room for the next group. Zoe glanced at her watch. It was ten forty-five. The carriages would be on the move until eleven.

She could smell the faint aroma of mesquite wood coming from the Texas Cajun Grill, where a young man, his bare chest and arms covered in tattoos, was standing on the sidewalk outside, juggling bowling pins.

Directly below, in front of Zoe B’s, Andre-the-street-vendor was selling
andouille
corn dogs to a long line of people. She wondered if the man ever slept.

How she loved this community. And how grateful she was that the cyanide scare hadn’t kept tourists away for long.

She heard the sliding door open and close and then felt warm hands kneading her shoulders.

“The kids are out like a light,” Pierce said. “I’m glad I got off a little early and could help. I had to rock Tucker forever to get him to sleep. I think he senses something’s wrong.”

“Hopefully, our sadness won’t be apparent for long. Monsignor’s eulogy was something, wasn’t it?”

“It was. I didn’t know what he could possibly say that would’ve made a difference. But he definitely hit a home run.”

Zoe nodded. “I shared it with Sax when he was in this afternoon, having a smoothie.”

“I’m surprised you brought it up, after your awkward exchange at the funeral home last night.”

“He apologized for being insensitive, and I said it was okay, that everyone is struggling on some level. One thing led to another.” Zoe told Pierce about the entire conversation and how good it felt to share Monsignor’s words but how uncomfortable she was with the conversation that followed.

“Sounds like Sax is searching.”

“Maybe.” Zoe relished Pierce’s fingers massaging the tightness in her shoulders. “But he’s furious with God, and I didn’t sense he was open to anything Christian. He’s trying to find peace in his life and thinks that reconciling his violent childhood is the ticket.”

“That’s a good start, no? You, of all people, understand how important that is.”

“But I didn’t even start the process until I had given my life to Christ. Where is he going to draw the strength? It’s sad. I don’t think he can do it alone. But he’ll never find true peace as long as he’s at odds with God.”

“You told him that.”

“He wasn’t open. I could tell.”

“Maybe you planted a seed. He’s going to be here for a few days—maybe we should invite him to come back to the kitchen and eat with us. He might get a kick out of it. And it might open up some good dialogue.”

Zoe turned around and looked in Pierce’s eyes. “I can’t remember a time when you’ve shown this much interest in a customer.”

“We had this conversation already, babe. You can’t deny it’s good marketing to befriend a customer with connections in New Orleans. And I admit it’s great hearing his raves about my cooking. But someone with his pain and his questions … well, I don’t think the Lord would have us ignore him, do you?”

“I suppose not. I just don’t like talking about my past.” Zoe sighed. “I
have
forgiven my parents, Pierce. Why does it still hurt? Why am I still ashamed?”

“You’ve overlooked a very important detail, babe.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You never do. But you still haven’t forgiven your brother.”

Zoe felt her shoulders tighten again. “For what—being smarter than the rest of us?” The tears in her eyes belied her words.

Pierce cupped her face in his hands and wiped her tears with his thumbs. “You’re so angry with him, you’ve blocked it from your mind.”

“Good. Then let’s leave it there.”

“It’s your call. But as someone who loves you with all my heart, believe me when I tell you it’s going to catch up with you at some point. Why not deal with it? I’ll help you.”

Zoe laid her head on his chest and rested in his arms. “I know you will. I’m just not ready.”

Emily approached the back steps at Langley Manor and smiled at the family of raccoons devouring whatever goodies Vanessa had left for them. She went up the steps and, in the dim light of the back porch, spotted a silhouette sitting in a rocker.

“Sax, is that you?”

“It’s me.”

Emily laughed. “Don’t you ever sleep?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

She went over and sat in the rocker next to him. “It’s been a
long
day.”

“How was the funeral?”

“Beautiful, but so sad. The church was packed. Chance’s parents had a lot of friends and family. I suppose tragedies pull people together.”

“How is Chance?”

“Depressed. He and his mother were especially close.”

“I’m really sorry for what he’s going through.”

“Me, too. I’d better get inside. I’m sure my big sister is waiting for me with her hands on her hips.”

Sax chuckled. “I overheard her mothering you the other night. I thought it was sweet. You’re really fortunate to have someone who cares that much about you.”

“I guess.” Emily sighed. “But is she ever going to realize I’m nineteen? At some point she has to trust me to make decisions for myself.”

“Can I ask you a personal question—regarding something Vanessa said?”

“Sure.”

“What exactly is unequally yoked? That’s a Christian term, isn’t it?”

Emily nodded. “It means having a different set of values. I guess you heard her say Chance and I were unequally yoked.”

“That’s considered a bad thing?”

Emily started to say something flippant and then realized Sax was serious and she should give him an honest answer. “The Bible teaches believers not to be yoked with unbelievers because when they’re not on the same page, there’s usually conflict, and it’s much harder for a believer not to compromise. Unequally yoked can involve more than just a marriage relationship though. Any kind of serious partnership.”

“I take it Chance isn’t a believer?”

“Right. Vanessa is getting way ahead of herself, though. I’m not planning to marry the guy. We’re both working toward medical degrees, and that just opened up a unique kind of camaraderie. But now that his parents have been killed, I’m just being a friend.”

“Thanks for explaining the term to me.”

“You’re welcome.” Emily nodded toward the door. “Here goes.”

“Remember, she loves you,” Sax said.

Emily unlocked the back door and went inside, surprised to see the stove light on and the kitchen table empty. She unlocked the door to the living quarters and went inside.

The lights were on, and Vanessa was asleep on the couch.

Emily tiptoed across the creaky wood floor—but not quietly enough.

“Hey there,” said a sleepy voice.

“Hey. Sorry I woke you.’

“I thought about you off and on all day.” Vanessa sat up. “Tell me about the funeral. You want some tea?”

“Not really.”

“I do. Would you mind sitting with me?”

Emily followed Vanessa out to the kitchen just as Sax was passing through on his way upstairs.

“Good night, ladies.” He winked at Emily.

Emily went over to the cookie jar and peeked inside. “You want cookies?”

“No, thanks.”

Emily took three and sat at the table. She told Vanessa everything that had happened from the time she arrived at Chance’s house that morning until she left him just a few minutes ago—except for the part about his telling Emily she gave him the strength to stand. That was private.

“You’re a wonderful friend,” Vanessa said. “I hope he appreciates you.”

“I’m sure he does. Aunt Reba and I have a ton of details to tend to over the next few days.”

“How are you going to help her, when you have such a busy schedule at work?”

Emily paused and took a bite of cookie. “I don’t have to be at work until Saturday at three.”

“You told me this morning you had to be at work at three tomorrow.”

“I called Zoe and changed it—so I can help Aunt Reba. I expected to dislike the woman. But frankly, she’s really sweet. I think she just needs to do something for Chance to feel useful and honor her sister’s memory. Chance thinks she wants to ramrod things. I told him I think he’s wrong—and that I would be there to make sure things didn’t get out of hand.”

“You what?” Vanessa exhaled loudly. “Did you not hear a word I said this morning?”

“I heard you. I just don’t agree with you.”

“Emily, I understand your wanting to help Chance. I do. But you’re getting enmeshed in his life in a way that’s going to interfere with every other commitment you have.”

“We both know that’s not your real beef. You’re afraid I’m going to get romantically involved and pulled into a sexual relationship.”

“I won’t pretend it hasn’t occurred to me. But I really am concerned that you’re taking on too much responsibility for Chance. He’s a big boy. He doesn’t need you to babysit him every waking moment.”

“That was so cheap.” Emily pushed her chair away from the table and stood. “I’m going to bed. If you want me to be open and honest with you, Vanessa, this isn’t the way to do it.”

Vanessa grabbed her wrist and held her gently. “I do want you to talk to me. The last thing I want is for you to shut down.”

“Then trust me a little, will you? You act like I’m not capable of making a rational decision.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you.” Vanessa let go of her wrist. “I was your age when I got pregnant. And I had convictions every bit as strong as yours.”

“I’m not you. Stop trying to project your weakness onto me!”

“I don’t mean to do that. But you’re so trusting, Emily. I just don’t want you to get hurt. There is no future for you and Chance. You have to know that.”

“Of course I know that.” Emily sat again and held her sister’s gaze. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not romantically involved with him? His parents were murdered, and he could use a friend. Do you think you could cut me some slack?”

Vanessa paused and seemed to study her face. “Of course I can. I’m sorry. You have a good head on your shoulders. I should trust you to use it.”

“Thank you.” Emily sighed. “Stop worrying about me, and give me a little support. It’s been difficult trying to hold things together during such a traumatic situation. But I think my being there is making a positive difference.”

“I’m sure it is.”

Emily popped the last of the cookie into her mouth. “I’m going to go crash. I am wasted.”

“All right. ’Night, Shortcake. Sleep tight.”

Emily smiled without meaning to. How many times had Vanessa put her to bed as a little girl and said those words?

Emily walked through the living area and down the hall to her room, wondering if she was being honest herself. She was feeling increasingly close to Chance, and the idea of their relationship turning romantic didn’t seem far-fetched anymore. Whether it did or didn’t, it was none of Vanessa’s business. Whatever relationship she built with Chance could only last until they went back to separate colleges in August. She had no intention of getting involved in anything permanent. How risky could it be?