Reluctant Surrender (12 page)

He wasn’t sure she’d do it. She hesitated for a second but then did as he’d said. He didn’t want to examine why he was so relieved by that. Instead he addressed her. “Since you didn’t want to do this my way, we’re going to do it your way, all right? Every time you insist on wanting to control the direction of things, whether it’s a simple matter of answering a question I pose or a command I issue, I will bend on this, for no other reason than to teach you something about yourself.”

Unwisely she not only crossed her legs, but her arms as well. “Uncross your arms, please.”

“You first.”

“Colin.”

“Freaking hell.”

“I don’t like those words, Colin. Now your legs.”

“No.”

He stared her down. “Yes.”

After a moment she relented. “Fre— All right.”

“Now.” He opened the laptop and scrolled. “While I was gone were you looking at two women being pony spanked?”

“You know I did.”

“You’ll answer these questions, Colin, because my
one
was too demeaning for you.”

“Yes.”

“Did you look at a woman eating a huge cock while her Master paddled her?”

Her face had turned that candy-apple red again. “Yes.”

“Did you watch a video of a submissive craving her Dom to cane her harder?”

“No.”

“No?” He arched a brow at her and waited.

“The link wouldn’t open.”

“I see. Did you watch as a Master spanked his belligerent and mouthy slave into proper submission?”

“Yes.”

He was glad she didn’t spit this “yes” out and too, that she was sounding more humble. “Tell me, Colin, why did you search the term
submissive cock slut
?”

“Ye—” Her eyes widened. “What?”

He stared, but didn’t say anything.

“I…”

Leaning forward, he braced his forearms on the desk and leveled a penetrating look at her. “Yes?”

“I, ah, must have stumbled onto that one.”

He almost laughed. “I see.” He cleared his throat and asked, “Did you learn anything interesting?”

“Nope.”

“Nothing?”

She plucked an imaginary piece of lint off her blouse and flicked it aside. “Not a thing.”

“Liar. Come here.” He turned the chair so he faced her when she came around his desk. “Next time just answer the question.”

“If I’d known you were going to torture me I would have.”

He pulled her between his legs and smiled. “When I torture you, you’ll know it. This was nothing more than a small lesson in boundaries. I set them and you adhere to them. When you insist on ignoring or pushing them you’re always going to be burned because I want you to know that I set these lines with a purpose in mind and that purpose is always for your benefit.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I’m getting to know you.” When he roughly tugged her toward him, she gasped and her hands went to his shoulders. “You’re stubborn, but I like that. I also like how inquisitive you are about things. While you’re here you’re welcome to look at porn anytime you want and if you have any questions all you have to do is ask.”

He brought his hands up and cupped the backs of her knees. He didn’t move, only pressed his palms into the crease between her calf and thigh and waited. He loved how she played with his collar while she bit her lip and debated whether to talk. He didn’t move.

“I do have a question.”

Bingo.
But then when those blue eyes of hers lifted from his collar and met his gaze head-on he didn’t trust himself to speak.

“What does the guy get out of spanking a woman?”

“Well…” He moved his thumbs in small circles against the sides of her kneecaps. “I can only speak for myself as I think the experience differs depending on the man and the woman. But the short answer to your question is, control. I know when I have complete control of the woman over my knee she’s helpless and incapable of denying me anything I demand. And what I demand is for her to give herself permission to unlock the door to her darkest desires. To her secret cravings and needs.”

Colin tilted her head. “In a way it’s kind of like freeing.”

“Exactly. Think of it as she’s being psychologically undressed. There’s nothing she won’t tell me because they’re not her secrets to tell anymore. In that moment, when she’s helpless and surrendered to me, I own them. I make her say those things out loud so there’s no fear or embarrassment. There’s no judgment because those things are as much a part of her as they are of me in that moment. It’s cathartic. I live for that kind of intense intimacy.”

She frowned and he wasn’t sure she even realized that she was playing with the side of his hair, scooping it back behind his ear while she pondered his words. “I was under the impression that a spanking was a bad thing.”

“It can be. When there’s a call for discipline.”

Her fingers stopped scooping. “There are different kinds of spanking?”

“Yes. There’s erotic, corrective or disciplinary.”

Her fingers started scooping again. “Which one is the least painful?”

He grinned. “Why are you asking? Do you think when the time comes you’ll get to choose?”

“Maybe.” She used her index finger and traced the outline of his ear.

“Colin, you can sheath your come-hither look and teasy little touches because you don’t get to choose.” He was glad when she didn’t stop, but took his earlobe between her index finger and thumb and rubbed. “How painful one is as opposed to another is irrelevant because it’s how much can be endured that’s the issue.”

“Do you like causing pain?”

“Yes.”

She hissed in a breath, dropped her hand and would have stepped back if he didn’t have hold of her. “That’s not nice.”

“Is that what you want, Colin? A nice guy?” He held on to her, even while she tried to step away from his hands. Slowly but firmly he moved his palms up the back of her thighs. One inch above that crease. Two inches. “I’m not nice, Colin. I’ll make you do things. Want things and admit things that you’ve kept secret and guarded in the deepest part of your soul. By the time I’ve opened up that part of you, you’ll be happy to become the naughty and dirty girl I know you want to be.”

“No…”

He inched his hands up higher and higher still. When he reached her bottom he cupped her cheeks and squeezed.

“Oh.” She swayed and barely managed to grab hold of his shoulders again.

“I want you to try really hard to be my naughty girl.” He shoved his hands up and hooked his fingers around the waistband of her panties. Without breaking eye contact with her he drew them down. “I want you dirty. I want you to watch porn and think about me paddling your ass until it’s warm and pink from the smacks.”

When he reached her knees he let the panties go and they slid all the way to the floor. “Step out of them.” When she did he clicked his tongue and let her go. “I didn’t tell you to kick them aside. Pick them up and give them to me.”

“Stop. Here,” he instructed, helping her to her knees, “reach over. On your hands and knees. That’s right. Like that. Bottom up, Colin, and shoulders dipped toward the floor.”

He caressed the curve of her ass, feeling each mound through the straining fabric of her skirt. Upward he moved, over the base of her spine, and let his hand slide down in the direction of her sexy dip. “You’ll hold a beautiful position when I teach it to you.”

Once she had the panties she got up on her knees and turned back into the spread of his lap. Seeing her in that position made his cock pound hard with a violent need to get into her. And watching as she folded those panties and held them out to him reminded him that getting into her today was not on the agenda. He shouldn’t have pushed this as far as he had, but with her watching porn and being a brat about it, he couldn’t help the little sidetrack they’d taken. But it was enough for now.

Accepting the silk, he stuffed it into his back pocket. Then he offered her his hand and helped her up. He almost changed his mind about going slow with her when he spied the stunning flush to her cheeks and her glassy eyes. Damn, the urge to fuck her was nearly overwhelming. Exactly why he needed to back off. “I think it’s time we have some lunch and then our game of chess.”

She gave a shaky nod, but when her gaze dropped to the floor as he stood, he had to hold back the urge to put her over his desk. She was the perfect measure of shy meets tiger and the intoxicating combination made him want to strip her bare and put some stripes on her ass. Before he was tempted he stepped around her and asked, “Are you coming? You can have first move of the game.”

* * * * *

Colin had just finished brushing her teeth after lunch when her phone rang. She stepped into the bedroom and picked it up.

“Hi, Jo.”

“So, how’s it going? Are you still there or have you come to your senses?”

She sat on the bed, stretched out her bare legs and crossed one ankle over the other. “He caught me watching internet porn.”

Silence.

“Jo?”

“I gotta say, Collie, I’m liking this guy more and more. He’s a positive influence on you. Porn? Kewl.”

“I was mortified.”

“Why? Don’t tell me he made a big deal of it.”

“Yes. No.”

“What do you mean by yes and no?”

“He asked me if I’d been a naughty girl—”

“Ooh, delicious.”

“And when I refused to answer him because I thought the question was demeaning he called me on each of the sites I viewed. It was awful.”

“It sounds dreamy to me, but it does make me wonder. Why were you watching internet porn this morning?”

Colin figured it was time to come clean with her friend. If she was hoping to get any support from her, Jo needed to know the truth. “I’ve agreed to let him draw out my natural submissive tendencies.”

“Hot damn, he’s good. Wrong about you, but good. Have fun with it.”

Colin closed her eyes and admitted the truth to Jo for the first time. “He’s not wrong about me. I’ve been curious about the lifestyle for a long time now. I was just too scared to admit it.”

There was a long pause before, as usual, Jo digested the facts and accepted them without judgment. “You couldn’t have picked a better guy to help you out with that. Are you sure, though? You’re one bad-ass bitch when provoked. I thought submissive women were doormats.”

She smiled and opened her eyes. It felt good to speak the truth. “I’m pretty sure I am. We’ll see. And from what I’ve researched about the concept of submission, it’s all about strength, not weakness.”

“Does this mean you’re going to fuck Mr.
GQ
at some point?”

She thought about Ethan. How he’d devoured her with his gaze as he’d taken down her undies. How his voice sent chills zipping through her and she sighed. “I sure hope so.”

“Make it happen, Collie. Don’t push him away. Lighten up and whatever you do, don’t fall for him. It would never work between you guys. You want a one-woman man and he’s…well, The Hypnotist.”

“You heard about that?”

“Sure. Is it true?”

“Yes.”

Jo let out a breath and said, “Then you have to be careful.”

Colin quickly changed the subject because there was no way she was going to tell Jo that being careful was the furthest thing from her mind. She’d been careful most of her life and where had that gotten her? Screwed over at the altar. Nope, best not share the plan she was going with because Jo would freak out.

* * * * *

Ethan set up the chess board, waiting for Colin to finish freshening up after lunch, when his phone rang.

“Hi, Ted.”

“Hey, I didn’t expect you to answer. I just got to the cabin. How’s it going?”

“Interesting.”

“In a good or bad way?”

Ethan thought about Colin watching porn and smiled. “All good.”

“Ah, so The Iron Lady’s not so tough.”

“I didn’t say that. Believe me she’s tough, stubborn and bratty. Right now she’s swinging, but I’ll get her pinned down and focused soon enough.”

“I don’t care what she looks like. Sounds like a challenge. You lucky bastard.”

“Don’t I know it? Is there any of my brandy there?”

“Let me…yep.”

“Good. I may stop by later tonight to pick it up.”

“When do you start with her?”

“Tomorrow. Tonight I’m looking for some insight. She’s complicated and wary.”

“You like her.”

Ethan sighed, relieved that Ted had brought the subject up. “Very much.”

“You told me to ask, so, in more than a mentor way?”

“Yes, I’m not going to lie.”

“Then be careful, buddy. She’s new to all this. She doesn’t know what to expect so she won’t be questioning your methods. You’re on your own figuring out how deep to go in training her.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“You fucking lucky bastard! Maybe I need to troll the vanilla scene and see if I can find an Iron Lady to melt.”

* * * * *

A few hours later Colin sat on a kitchen stool, watching Ethan work. She’d given up being miffed over how quickly he’d beaten her at chess, taking small comfort in the fact that he hadn’t skunked her. She did get more than three of his men before he announced checkmate. Now he was firing fifty questions at her and she was trying to keep up with the randomness of the topics.

“In your blog post articles, how much of what you write is true as opposed to embellished or outright fiction?”

Random all right. His last question to her was about her cat. “My blog is a personal account of the events I attend and the people I meet. I tell it as I see it. I like to be authentic.”

“Yet you hide behind a made-up persona?”

“I like my privacy.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“I’m better at being Riling Rita than I am at being me.”

The silence that followed that statement was deafening. What a sad and pathetic thing to say. Time to do some damage control. “Er, um…that is to say, sometimes.”

The knife he held stopped mid-chop and God love him, he changed the subject. “So, you find my dreamy green eyes melt worthy and my physique? What did you say about my physique, I can’t recall?”