Read Remembering Christmas Online
Authors: Drew Ferguson
Remembering Christmas (31 page)
Sometimes, however, the classics can still have a new twist. Rob got a bit too relaxed and leaned back a bit too far and soon not only were the two front legs of the chair airborne, but Rob was about to be airborne as well.
Instinctively, Rob reached out his hand toward Theo, and Theo without hesitation did the same; there was no fumbling, no floundering, just one hand being grabbed by the other to be pulled back to safety. Holding onto Rob's hand, pressing into his flesh so firmly, Theo was amazed that there weren't any electric sparks flying out from their skin; he was even more amazed that he wasn't burned by Rob's wedding band. Turns out it was just a piece of gold, it wasn't a token of evil, it wasn't crafted by demonic heterosexual spirits, and it didn't sear and scorch a gay man's flesh. So much for all the hype.
Rising out of his chair, Theo gave a sharp tug and Rob lurched toward him, his bangs bouncing, the crinkles around his eyes smoothing out as his face registered shock at the sudden disruption. Most of the people in the lounge were crowded around the bar making merry and singing Christmas carols off-key, so there were only a few patrons sitting in the vicinity. When they saw Theo pull Rob up to a standing position, his chair no longer airborne, but toppled over, grounded, the patrons kept their distance and remained seated. They had enough problems having to deal with delayed flights; why add coming to the aid of two Christmas drunks to their list. And while Theo and Rob might not have been officially drunk, they definitely looked it.
Wobbling forward, Rob's free hand sprung out and innocently or possibly magnetically found Theo's neck. His soft, blunt fingers dug into Theo's neck, lean, but strong, and Theo shuddered slightly; a memory of the last time Rob had touched him so forcibly pierced his mind, making the pit of his stomach come alive. Theo tried to extinguish the passionate memory, but either it or the Scotch he had been drinking was too strong, and he was unable to do so. Ah well, so be it. Wasn't Christmas Eve all about remembering the past anyway?
Still unsteady, Rob needed to get a better grip to ensure that he wouldn't topple over. He shifted his hand from Theo's neck to his shoulder, pushing away the material of his sweater to expose and touch even more flesh. The move was quick and uncalculated, but it sent deliberate shivers down Theo's spine. In all the countless times that Theo had dreamed and imagined that Rob would once again caress him, touch his naked body, never once did the scenario include being in an airport lounge, with onlookers and with little to no hope of getting completely undressed. It was fa la la la la and bah humbug at the same time.
Rob took a step back in an attempt to become completely vertical, but misjudged the space between him and the fallen chair and stepped right onto one of its legs. Once again he pitched forward, this time unable to resist the trajectory, and he tumbled into Theo's arms. Giggling like a teenager, Rob was oblivious to the stares from the other patrons; some were disapproving, others borderline titillated from the display of man-on-man action. “Guess I can't hold my peach schnapps like I used to.”
Holding Rob like this, close, securely, knowing he was the more powerful one, that if he let go, Rob would plummet onto the table and possibly crash onto the floor, filled Theo with an array of emotions. Cluttered, complex, contradictory. He felt like he was a little boy again, and there were just too many presents underneath the Christmas tree; breathless and pajama-clad he stood motionless, not knowing which one to open up first. Should he open up the biggest box with the reddest bow because such beautiful wrapping could only be used to wrap a sensational gift? Or maybe he should rip open the odd-shaped package that he was certain contained the skateboard he had been begging for? But isn't Christmas all about magical surprises? Yes! So why not unwrap the gift that was sitting in the corner, hidden almost out of view, the one not elaborately wrapped, the one that was hoping against hope that it would be opened? Theo could see his much younger self inch closer to that package, his eyes illuminated by the Christmas tree lights, filled with wonder and just as bright, but the current Theo shut his eyes tight; he wasn't sure he could open up that package. Just let it lie there for a while longer until I'm ready.
Abruptly, Theo pulled back, letting go of Rob, forcing him to stand on his own even if he wasn't capable or ready or willing. The sudden movement surprised Rob, but he knew it was the only appropriate course of action; just like not responding to Theo's letter or his phone calls, it was harsh, but necessary. Even though he knew it was inevitable, he wasn't prepared for it.
Sloping to the left, Rob slapped his palm down onto the table to keep from falling all the way over. It was a halfway successful maneuver: he didn't collide into the floor, but the glasses on the table did.
Simultaneously, he and Theo bent down; separately they moved in opposite directions. Theo descended upon the two glasses that miraculously hadn't shattered, grabbing them before they rolled out of view and possibly got stepped upon by some elderly and most likely inebriated patron who would wind up celebrating the holiday in the emergency room. Rob, meanwhile, made sure that his bag of presents was unharmed by any falling ice cubes. It was ice cube-free, but of course when Rob went to pick up the overstuffed bag to inspect it he only grabbed one handle, so it toppled over, most of its contents spilling onto the linoleum. When Theo saw one of the gifts, he almost let both glasses that he was holding fall back onto the floor.
“Coach Bob!” Theo cried, his voice ripe with sentiment.
Placing the glasses on the table, Theo genuflected slowly and reached down to pick up a box that contained what looked like a G.I. Joe doll if he were off-duty and volunteering his time to coach a boy's soccer team. And if he was bisexual. “I can't believe you have a Coach Bob doll.”
“It's an action figure,” Rob corrected, stuffing the bag with the rest of the gifts that had fallen out.
Theo held the doll / action figure reverentially like it was a baby Jesus and he was about to place it inside the empty manger to complete the nativity tableau. “It's Coach Bob,” Theo said. “Where in the world did you find him?”
The bag repacked, Rob turned his overturned chair upright and sat down. “I found it in an antique store in Chicago,” he explained. “I was downtown in between customers and thought I'd do some Christmas shopping.”
Theo resumed his seat and placed Coach Bob on the table, never letting go of him and never taking his eyes off of him as he inspected every inch of the doll visible through its plastic covering. “He's just like I remember, the same blue and white tracksuit, the same big
B
on his jacket, the black high-top sneakers, oh my God look at his hand!” Theo shrieked and turned the box to face Rob. “He's wearing the varsity ring!”
B
on his jacket, the black high-top sneakers, oh my God look at his hand!” Theo shrieked and turned the box to face Rob. “He's wearing the varsity ring!”
Rob brought the box closer so he could inspect it more carefully. “You're right,” he said. “I hadn't noticed that.”
The moment Rob let go of the box, Theo turned it around so he could gaze on the prized inanimate object once more. “How I loved Coach Bob,” he said out loud, but to himself.
“Me too,” Rob agreed. “I thought my son might like it as much as I did.”
Oh right, you have a son.
“How old is he?”
“How old is he?”
“Joe just turned eight,” Rob said.
That's a coincidence.
“The same age as we were,” Theo remarked.
“The same age as we were,” Theo remarked.
Momentarily lost in the same memory, Rob took a moment before responding. “Yeah, we both brought the coach in for show 'n' tell right after Christmas and decided right then and there that we had to be the best of friends.”
I decided the first time I saw you in the school playground at the start of school that we had to be best friends, but I was too nervous to say hello. If it wasn't for Coach Bob, we might never have been introduced.
“We had everything,” Theo said. “The workout gym, the trampoline, Coach's van.”
“We had everything,” Theo said. “The workout gym, the trampoline, Coach's van.”
“Don't forget Varsity Todd,” Rob interjected.
Tracing a finger over the plastic that encased Coach Bob, Theo added, “How could I forget the Coach's star athlete. Todd was my personal favorite.”
Rob shook his head at the silliness and profoundness of the memory and said, “He had blue and white shorts and a big
V
on his tank top right?”
V
on his tank top right?”
“Exactly!” Theo nodded. “And his hair was longer and plastic, not like the Coach's peach fuzz buzz cut.”
Theo ached to open up the box and rub his fingers over the Coach's fuzzy head, which sort of reminded him of Mr. Tom, maybe that's why he had liked the security guard so much. Could the night present any more coincidences? He recalled the many hours he and Rob had spent playing with Bob, Todd, and all their gear and accessories. Sometimes they were just a coach and his athlete in the gym working out, preparing for the next big game; other times they were out in the mountains or in the desert utilizing their natural surroundings to strengthen their natural-born abilities and athletic prowess. Theo's favorite times had been when he and Rob forgot about sports and games and practices and imagined Coach Bob was actually a spy and Todd was his protégé and their sports personas were merely camouflage. The two of them would fight side by side against the enemy in some exotic locale that they had seen on TV or heard their parents talking about like Hawaii or Russia or Theo's favorite, Czechoslovakia; he loved the sound of that name and was devastated when the country split up and became three or four new little countries, none of which had a name that sounded as interesting or was as challenging to spell.
The boys had spent countless hours playing in their fantasy world together, content to be on the outside of the outside world. They embarked on wild adventures, overcame oppressive odds, survived the most devastating accidents because, like Rob once said, “they were the perfect team.” “You and me can beat anybody, Teddy,” Rob had whispered so their enemies wouldn't hear.
“That's why we always have to be a team,” Teddy had whispered back.
“Remember when we had to save Santa?” Rob asked.
Images as quick and furious as a sudden blizzard filled Theo's mind and took over. The airport lounge, the piped-in Christmas music, the spirited, semi-drunk patrons were all gone, and in their places were him and Rob as eight-year-old boys on the morning after Christmas, wrapped in their comfy pajamas and holiday joy. They each had gotten additional pieces of the Coach Bob play set as presents, and Rob had begged his parents to let him sleep over Teddy's house so they could wake up in the morning and not waste a single moment before starting to play with their new toys. Their parents were getting used to their mutual desire to be inseparable and happily agreed to the sleepover. That night, Christmas night, Rob had slept in the bottom portion of Teddy's really cool trundle bed less than a foot underneath Teddy. And just like he did every time Rob slept over, Teddy woke up a few times in the middle of the night and immediately looked over the side of his bed to make sure that Rob was still there, that he hadn't gotten homesick and made his parents pick him up or worse, but way more exciting, that he hadn't been kidnapped by some unknown menacing foe.
The next morning they woke up before Teddy's parents and ran downstairs to the living room where they had laid out all their toys the night before. Theo plugged in the Christmas tree lights so the room was twinkling red, blue, green, making the fake white branches of the tree glow even whiter. It looked like it had snowed indoors, and underneath the tree there was indeed an avalanche of presents.
Rob had gotten the snowmobile and Arctic explorer ski outfit, and Teddy had gotten the all-terrain vehicle, scuba diving equipment, and mountain camping gear, which came with its own Styrofoam mountain and rock climbing kit. Surrounded by all their other Coach Bob toys the boys transformed Teddy's living room into the North Pole and set out on an expedition to save Santa Claus, who was being held hostage by a group of mutinous evil elves. It was Rob's idea to set their adventure way up north since he had gotten the snowmobile, but it was Teddy who gave it the sinister twist after watching the classic holiday special,
The Year Without a Santa Claus
.
The Year Without a Santa Claus
.
Holding Varsity Todd, Teddy had made him run into the gymnasium to fill Coach Bob in on the most diabolical scheme the world had ever heard of. “Coach Bob!” Teddy as Todd had yelled.
“What is it? Why aren't you at practice?” Rob as Bob had replied.
Teddy had moved Todd's arms up and down so it looked like he was either frantic or had AFTSâAction Figure Tourette's Syndrome. “It's Santa Claus, he's in danger!”
Danger!? Rob had made Coach Bob grab Todd's flailing arms to get him to focus. “What are you talking about? What kind of danger is Santa Claus in?”
Ever the student, Teddy / Todd had explained, “Jingle Bells, the head elf, is still angry with Santa for trying to call off Christmas this year, and he wants to make him pay.”
The Coach immediately understood the severity of Todd's message. “He wants to kill Santa Claus?”
“Yes!” Teddy / Todd had cried, his little plastic arms reaching out to his coach for help, guidance, comfort.
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