Renaissance: A Contemporary Erotic Romance (Iris Series Book 5) (5 page)

Richard had been talking about, and dabbling in, light bondage and S&M with her at the beginning of their marriage, and then when the mommy porn books had come out, he was even more into it.  He was an amateur at best and an asshole at worst, not being well versed in the correct ways of bringing pleasure to his partner in those ways; just awkwardness and humiliation.  Not to mention the pain.

She’d hated the piercing procedure, and had felt extremely vulnerable and resentful as a result. And it hadn’t stopped the cheating.

“You’re getting them all removed?” Emily pressed.  Tiffany had shared with the girls her feelings about the piercings, her shame and embarrassment with them especially since she hadn’t wanted them. They’d been trying to encourage her to get them removed, but she’d been putting it off because she didn’t even want a new doctor to see them.  They made her feel cheap and tawdry.

“I don’t think I’ll remove the nipple ones just yet.  Just the other one.  I hate that thing.  It gets in the way of everything down there.”  They both looked at each other and after a beat of silence started laughing. “Can you even believe this conversation?”

Emily smiled. “So you’re not getting the nipple ones removed?  You slut,” she joked.

Tiffany chuckled.  Three months earlier she would’ve taken offense at the joke, but her girlfriends had taught her to laugh about her ridiculous insecurities over the piercings. “If I’m going to be honest, the nipple ones aren’t so bad.  Maybe if I was having kids, I would get them removed.  You know, if I had to breast feed, but,” she shrugged.  “It’s funny. I hated them when Richard told me to get them, and hated them even more whenever we had sex and stuff.  But now?  When I think of Drew,” she paused again. “The nipple ones don’t seem so bad.”

Emily barked out a loud snort. “You
are
a slut!”

They both had a good laugh.

“Alright, you little hussy.  Let’s get some papers signed, then you can call the good doctor and get that ball rolling.”

Tiffany let go of a cleansing breath and felt a new lease on life.  She was ready. “Let’s do it,” she said with a smile.  And they did, spending the next half hour signing papers and going over some final details.

The rest of her day was spent doing errands and building up her nerve to contact Drew.  Now, a couple of hours later, Tiffany sat in her apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan toying with her phone resting in her palm. She let go of a fortifying breath, then texted Drew’s number.

TIFF:
Hi stranger. I’m sorry it’s been so long since we’ve talked. I’m going to be in your neck of the woods tomorrow afternoon. Do u want to get some coffee or something?

She twirled her hair and bit her lip while she waited.  A minute passed.  Then two minutes. Then five.  Ten.  She got up to walk around because she couldn’t sit still.

Maybe he’s in surgery.

Or,
she cringed,
maybe he doesn’t want to talk to you.

Tiffany gripped her stomach just as her phone went off.  She grabbed it to look.

DREW:
I’m sorry, do I know u? I think we’ve met before. It’s Tiffany, rt?

Tiffany laughed lightly, feeling relieved.

TIFF:
Yes, Dr. Wiseass. The name is Tiffany Daniels.

DREW:
Ah, yes. Daniels, that’s rt. So u want to get some coffee or something? Remind me what u look like again.

She chuckled.

TIFF:
Tall, dark hair, blue eyes. Shall I wear a certain piece of clothing so u can pick me out in the crowd?

DREW:
That might not be a bad idea. Something red. I seem to remember u looking good in red.

Her blood began to warm, heating through her veins.  She’d worn a sweet red number on New Year’s Eve. It had been a strapless floor length dress with a slit up the side.

TIFF:
Red it is then. I have an appt at the med cntr at 1. How about lunch at noon?

DREW:
R u feeling ok?

TIFF:
Yes, just a check up.

DREW:
Ok. I have a surgery scheduled at 1:30. How about the cafeteria? They actually have some pretty good food.

He gave her the location for his building.

TIFF:
Sounds good. I’ll see u at noon. And what will u be wearing so I can recognize u?

DREW:
Scrubs.

TIFF:
You’ll be easy to pick out then, I’m sure.

DREW:
:)

Tiffany smiled.

TIFF:
See u tomorrow.

DREW:
Until then. And I’m glad u texted, Tiff. It will be good to see u.

Her heart fluttered.

TIFF:
It’ll be good to see u too. Ttyl.

Tiffany put her phone down and flopped back onto the sofa.  She couldn’t help but hug herself as she looked up at the ceiling and pictured the handsome doctor. For months now, the girls had been calling him their own version of Dr. McDreamy. The bi-racial doctor had Caucasian facial features with chocolate brown eyes, but skin the color of creamy coffee.  His short corkscrew hair showed his African heritage as well. When she’d seen him last, he’d been sporting a tightly trimmed goatee.

The man was a dream to look at.  His eyes were heavy lidded, and he just had that sexy look about him, all wide in the shoulders and built like a linebacker. There was no doubt he caused coronary distress to all of his patients, straight and gay alike.

Simply put, he was sexy as hell, and Tiffany had thought so since the first moment she’d laid eyes on him at Jem and Ryann’s brownstone the previous summer. Jem was a longtime family friend and best friend to her brother, Luke.  After Ryann’s shooting, both Jem and Ryann had invited Drew over to the brownstone when all of the friends had welcomed Ryann home for her recuperation.

Now thinking about their texts from moments earlier, she was thrilled he’d agreed to see her, and wondered how close he was to this woman he was dating.  Tiffany certainly didn’t want to be seen as the other woman, knowing full well what it was like to be on the receiving end of a cheating spouse, but she was prepared to tell him she was interested.  If she could get through it without babbling like an idiot, she would consider it a success. She’d let him make the choice after that as to what he’d want to do, but she knew she’d go nuts if she wasn’t finally honest with him. She was done being afraid and letting her ex rule over her thoughts and emotions. It was time to return back to the self-assured woman she’d always been before her years with Richard Hewitt.  ‘Hewitt the Horrible’ had molded the naive twenty-something girl into a woman she hadn’t recognized for years.  It needed to change.

She grumbled as she thought of the congressman with whom she’d wasted nearly ten years of her life. He had contacted her for months after the divorce, leaving messages that were always carefully constructed, asking her how she was, mentioning her ‘rings’ but in ways that were veiled, always grumbling about her leaving, and talking of how damaging it was to his reelection campaign.  She’d never returned the calls and had finally changed her phone number.  She’d never thought to be vindictive.  She wasn’t wired that way and he knew it. 

But she knew how to subtly get revenge and the foundation helped that along.

She’d just wanted her life back, and him far, far away from her. He’d been furious with her when she’d demanded the divorce, and had pulled out everything in his arsenal to keep her from leaving, but much to his disappointment, she’d won that battle. She knew his reasons for continuing to contact her were mainly to restore his reputation and keep the connections her parents had brought in politically and financially.

Maybe you should have thought of that before you started fucking half of Boston and the District of Columbia, asshole.

Little did he realize that Tiffany’s parents had hated him since day one, both of them seeing beneath his charm and perfect Ken-Doll appearance. Tiffany had met the young politician at a political function after graduating college, and even though her parents and Luke had tried to slow her down, she’d married him soon after, with him sweeping her completely off of her feet.  His wandering eye started the following year.

By year two, he’d introduced S&M into their marriage.

By year three, she was heartbroken and resentful, beginning the downward spiral of insecurity in herself and her abilities. He’d never wanted her to hold a job, but rather wanted her to be the perfect hostess, throw parties and fundraisers, make calls to her parents’ friends and basically look beautiful for the camera, and him, whenever necessary. 

And no kids.  That might ruin her girlish figure.

By year four, she’d discovered his first affair.

By year five, he’d convinced her to get her piercings, citing that their love life would find its spark again if she did.  She had argued, cried, but he’d ultimately manipulated her into thinking it would be best for the marriage. The piercings had been the most painful thing she’d ever experienced, and it had been a steady downhill tumble after that.

At the beginning of the ninth year, she’d become a cliché and had walked in on him fucking a 22 year old version of the Tiffany Daniels of old. That was the straw that had broken the camel’s back, so to speak, and after laughing in their faces, she’d lifted her chin high and stalked out of the house, only to return for her belongings a couple of days later when she knew he wouldn’t be there.

Their separation had hit the press like wildfire and Tiffany had made out like a bandit in the divorce.

So, yes, she knew subtle ways to get revenge, and she was thrilled to be using that money for
Renaissance Girls.
She looked forward to the foundation’s success making the papers after the big fundraiser for all the world to see, and most especially, to be seen by Richard Hewitt.  He didn’t know how much he had funded the little gem that would be forming the next generation of strong women.  But he would soon find out, and nothing would make Tiffany happier.

She got up to make herself a cup of coffee and, just as it had finished brewing, her phone went off with a text.

TODD:
So we didn’t get to finish our convo. Do u have plans tomorrow night?

Oh, Todd Nielson. What to do, what to do.  It certainly wouldn’t hurt to go out with him for drinks.  He was a friend and colleague after all.

TIFF:
No. What’s up?

TODD:
How about those drinks? Just u and me?

Tiffany chuckled. Yeah, the ‘ask’ was definitely not of the colleague variety.

TIFF:
That sounds great.

TODD:
How about 8? I’ll text u tomorrow w/ a location.

TIFF:
Sounds good. Talk to u then.

TODD:
Can’t wait.

Tiffany inelegantly blew out a breath, letting her lips flap together in resigned exasperation. She would go out with Todd and keep her fingers crossed that she could get through her conversation with Drew.  She didn’t know whether being honest about her feelings with him would make a difference, but she was going to give it the old college try.

Tiff, it’s time to fix yourself.

By the time Tiffany left her apartment the next day for her lunch date with Drew, she was a bundle of nerves. Wrapped in a long sleeved red jersey dress, she paired it with high black boots and a multicolored coat and scarf. With her new hair style, she knew she looked good, but it didn’t seem to stop the reign of terror that had taken over her body.  She grabbed a cab while taking deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart as she made her way toward the Medical Center.

Not only was she anxious about her conversation with Drew, but she also wasn’t looking forward to the gynecologist appointment where she would have the hardware from her nether region removed.  As much as she couldn’t wait for it to be gone, she wasn’t exactly thrilled about the impending procedure.

After pulling up to the hospital, she went inside to find the food court area to wait for Drew.  She glanced at her watch.  She was only a couple of minutes late, thank the Lord.  Her mind raced with advice from her therapist’s words from months earlier.

Who do you want to be, Tiffany?  You want to be confident?  Secure?  Fearless?  What would you have to change in your thinking about yourself to be her?  Ask yourself when you start to feel insecure and scared:  How would a confident woman react?  What would it ‘look’ like for you to be a secure, fearless woman in this particular situation?  The more you change your thinking, the more you become this new woman. All you have to do is change your mind and determine who you want to be. You have all of the control here.

That’s right.  How would a confident woman look, Tiff?  She would walk in, own this food court, and make it her bitch. 

She scanned the seating areas and just like that, her palms began to sweat.  She could feel the beginnings of the bubbled up words pushing to get out of her mouth at record speed; because twenty feet in front of her sat Dr. Drew Huntington, watching her with a sexy tilt to his lips.

She let out a huge breath, met his eyes confidently, went over her mantra, and walked to the table with a smile.  He stood slowly, wearing green scrubs, his trimmed goatee looking sexy as sin, his gorgeous brown eyes caressing her from head to toe.  He’d cut his hair, too, his lighter brown corkscrews now closer to his head. 

When she arrived, before she could speak, he pulled her close and gave her a bear hug, engulfing her in warmth with his muscular arms, and pressing her close to his hardened chest.

“Red is definitely your color,” he breathed into her ear.  She shivered at the breath tickling behind her ear.  She could hear the smile in his voice and she internally sighed, enjoying his heady scent.  He playfully tugged on her hair before pulling back and looking at her.  “When did this happen?” he asked, referring to her haircut.  “It’s perfect on you.  You look like a million bucks.”

She finally looked at him, scanning his face with what she knew was a sultry smile on her lips.  She couldn’t help herself, because man, this guy had it.  Whatever ‘it’ was, he had it in spades.  Call it charm, charisma, swagger; pick your descriptive word.  Whatever it was, Drew carried it with a confident sensuality and humility that made her heart pump.  Having spent so much of her adult life with an asshole, it was that final descriptor that attracted her to him the most.

Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “I got it done yesterday.  It was time for a change.”  And then her mouth was off like a racehorse.  “I was so nervous when he started snipping away and saw all of the hair piling up on the floor, but I thought what better time to start fresh than in a New Year, with a new job and a new purpose in life.  I thought I’d miss all of it, but I don’t, strangely enough. I kind of like the feel of it on the back of my neck,” she said, the words rushing out, her hand fluttering to her hair.  “He left it long enough so I can still wear it up, which I appreciate, but I like how he cut it on an angle.  It’s a little more edgy.  It makes me feel free and reckless.  Something I haven’t felt in, like, forever.”

Shut. Up. Tiffany.  Shit, already.

His lips quirked up with humor while he stared at her mouth.

She clamped her lips shut, trying to steady herself.

“I’ve missed your mouth,” he murmured, his eyes twinkling.

God.
  She swallowed.  All kinds of images hit her brain and their eyes met again.

“I love listening to you process things out loud, at a rate of speed that would rival any rocket being launched into space,” he continued with a smile.

She breathed out a laugh. 
Get it the frick together, Tiffany.

“Should we sit?” she asked.

“Let’s grab some food, first,” he suggested.

Of course.  Food.  Duh.

She nodded and followed him to the sandwich line.  Once at the cashier, he pulled out his wallet to pay.

“I’ll pay,” she said.

“Nope.  I got both of these.”  He looked at the cashier.  “Brenda,” he said to the woman collecting the money, and who was looking at them in amusement, waiting to see who was going to pay.  “Her money is no good here,” Drew said, and nodded toward Tiffany. 

Tiffany rolled her eyes.  “I asked
you
to get together.”

“And
I’m
the one who’ll be paying.  Put your money away,” he said with finality and smiled at Brenda, who chuckled.

Tiffany sighed in exasperation, but grumbled, “Thank you.”  They picked up their trays, and he led her to a corner where no one was seated and pulled out her chair.

She sat, taking off her coat, while both seemed to be waiting for the other to start the conversation.  They made small talk for a few minutes, then eventually in between bites, Drew got serious.

“What made you text me?” he asked thoughtfully.

She put the remainder of her sandwich down and took a swig from her water.  Then she took her napkin in her hand, wringing it to within an inch of its life.

You got this...you got this...

“We haven’t talked in a while,” she began.

“No, we haven’t.  Much to my disappointment,” he responded.  His brown eyes melted into her light blue ones.

“That’s my fault, I know.”

He shrugged.  “You needed space.  I was giving it to you.”

“Well,” she hesitated only slightly.  “I don’t need it anymore.” 

There was silence for a moment before he processed what she’d said.  She watched his eyes transform from serious, to surprised, to intense. 

She continued.  “Emily told me you’re seeing someone.”

He swallowed and nodded slowly.  “I am.”  He continued staring at her, his jaw now clenched. 

She sighed and sent him a soft smile of understanding.

“Look.  I contacted you so that I could explain a couple of things, as a friend.  I’m not trying to cause problems or anything, I just really wanted to tell you,” she stopped, overcome with nerves.  He looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

Don’t stop, Tiff.  Do it.

“Keep going,” he said.

“I wanted to tell you my feelings.” 

He blinked once.  “Okay.  I’m listening.”

She looked down into her lap at the napkin in her hands and relaxed her grip.  She cleared her throat and met his waiting gaze.

“I’m not going to blame everything on my ex, but he definitely did a number on my self-esteem.  And as a result, I needed some time to find myself again, time to fix myself.”

“I’m sorry he put you through so much, Tiff.”

“Thanks,” she said sincerely.  “I’m finally realizing that although I was by no means perfect in my relationship with him, I gave it a good run.  But in the process I sacrificed a lot of myself to try to make it work.  I know this may seem hard to believe, but I really was a confident person before I met him.”

“That doesn’t surprise me in the least,” he said sincerely.  “I’ve always seen you as confident.  But I also knew you needed time to get over a very hurtful and public divorce.”

“It’s clear to me now that no matter what I could’ve done differently, it still would never have worked between Richard and me.  We were too different, with different philosophies of life.  I’m happy to say that I can now see myself as a worthy partner for someone again.  And now,” she hesitated, “I’m ready to date.”

Their eyes continued to stare at one another. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t ready sooner,” she continued on a whisper.  “Really sorry.”  She gave him a pointed look.  Did he understand what she was saying?

“I got the impression from you that you weren’t ready.  Or maybe even that you didn’t see me in that way, so.”  Then he swore under his breath and looked at her.  “You have nothing to apologize for.  It was what it was, you know?  It takes time to get over shit like that.  Do I wish you’d have come to this realization sooner?  Hell, yeah.  But you needed to be healthy first.  We can’t dwell on the past.  It doesn’t benefit either one of us.”

Tiffany bit her lip, trying to tamp down her emotion.  She was reading between the lines, and what she was reading was that he had moved on, and she couldn’t blame him.  She had taken far too long and was realizing that she had missed out on a wonderful man.  She waited for him to continue.

He leaned forward and propped his forearms on the table.  “So, what does this mean, exactly?  You say you’re ready to date.  Does that mean you’re seeing someone?”

“I’m not seeing anyone.”

She continued watching the internal monologue he was having with himself which played out on his face.  He looked relieved by her words, but frustrated.  He let out an exhalation of breath.  “Tiff.”

They gave each other knowing looks. “I’m not trying to cause a problem.  I want you to be happy, and I know I took too long. I –” She stopped when she saw a look pass over his face.

He had sat back, something catching his eye behind her.  His face immediately blanked then he looked back at Tiffany and let go of a deep sigh.  When he looked over her shoulder again, he raised his hand up to apparently wave back to someone.

Tiffany had a bad feeling she wasn’t going to like what was coming up behind her, but reaching for the new found courage she’d recently discovered, she turned to look and saw a pretty thirty something Latina woman bounding toward their table.  She was smiling at Drew and then turned to look at Tiffany as she approached.  With her smile slipping only slightly, she looked back at Drew.

“Hi, honey,” she said.

“Hey,” he said back.  The woman touched his shoulder affectionately, then turned to Tiffany. 

“Hi.  I’m Katrina.”

“Kat, this is Tiffany Daniels.  Her brother is one of the guys in the mentoring program I’m doing on Fridays.  She’s also the one who’s starting the foundation I was telling you about,” Drew explained.

Katrina blinked for a moment, then smiled an overly bright smile, but said genuinely, “The
Renaissance Girls
one?  I love that idea,” she said to Tiffany.  “Drew’s told me so much about it.”

Tiffany couldn’t help but smile.  The woman had an open, pretty face and a sweetness about her that was infectious.  But she also looked, well, like she was trying to appear alright that her man was having a private lunch with another woman she didn’t know.

“Thank you,” Tiffany said with sincerity. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation.  I just saw Drew and wanted to say a quick hello.”

“Of course,” Tiffany said.  “I should probably get going anyway.  I have an appointment up the street and I should leave myself some time to find where I’m going.”

“Oh, please don’t leave on my account.”  Katrina looked upset that she had interrupted.  “I’m just grabbing a sandwich and heading back to my office.”  She turned back to Drew and squeezed his shoulder.  “I’ll see you tonight.  Have a good rest of your lunch,” she said to both of them.  “And so nice to meet you, Tiffany.  Best of luck with the foundation,” she smiled.

“Thank you,” Tiffany smiled back.  “Nice to meet you, too.”

Katrina gave Drew another squeeze and walked off to the food line.

They were both quiet for a moment and then looked into each other’s eyes.

“She’s really sweet,” Tiffany said.

He nodded.  “She is.  The best.  I’ve been friends with her for years.  She was one of the first people I met when I started here.”

Tiffany nodded, trying to keep the sadness from showing on her face.  “How long have you guys been dating?”

“Just a few weeks.”

Tiffany swallowed.  “Are you happy?”

At that moment, Drew didn’t look too happy.  He stared at her, then whispered her name.

She shook herself from the gloom and doom surrounding her, reached out and squeezed his hand quickly, then got her coat and purse, and stood.  He stood with her.  “I would love it if you would bring Katrina with you to the opening for the foundation at the end of the month.”  Not really, but she was trying to take the high road.

He looked like he wanted to continue the previous conversation, but then said, “I’ll see if she’s available.  We’re still on for some of the classes starting in May?”

Drew was going to offer some basic medical training to the girls in the program.