Rendan (Scifi Alien Dragon Romance) (Dragons of Preor Book 4) (10 page)

“Yes, but.” He lowered his head, his mouth ghosting over hers. “I will eat, you will ask your questions, and then we shall enjoy the large bed I have dreamed about.”

“You’ve dreamt about me?” Carla’s breath caught with a hint of surprise. She wasn’t sure why. She’d dreamt about Rendan, his body covering hers, his length stretching and filling her.

“Every moment of the day, every second of the night.” Another kiss, this one more insistent yet no less sweet. “Every time my heart beats. Was that your first question,
shaa soma
? I believe I have earned my kiss at this time.”

Carla eased away from him, shaking her head in an effort to clear it of the sensual web he wove around her. “No.” She repeated the motion. She wouldn’t be thwarted by his hotness. Yet. “No, I want to know more about you. What you do. Your past.”

“Many questions,
shaa soma
.” He nibbled her lower lip and then moved his mouth to her jaw, brushing soft kisses along the length of her neck. “Choose one so we may begin.”

They were choosing what, now?

Rendan scraped her neck with his fangs, a sharp sting immediately followed by a soft laving of his tongue.

Right. Choosing. Eating. Kissing.

“Uh,” Rendan stroked her thigh, hand gliding higher until he rested it on her hip. “Ummm…” Was it hot in her condo or was it just her? “Tell me why you keep coming into medical battered and bruised.”

And broken.

Rendan groaned but it wasn’t a happy-sexy sound. “Carla…”

“Rendan…” she countered. She wouldn’t be pushed off, and the mere fact that he was hesitant to answer her question made her want the answer even more.

“Instead, we could discuss my prowess on the battlefield. Or my skill with a blade. Did I tell you I hold the Preor record for—“

She placed the fork on the plate and then buried her fingers in his hair, brushing the strands. “None of that matters to me.”

Her mate snorted. “Every female wishes to know her mate can care for her. That he is an honored warrior who is assigned the most prestigious missions by the emperor himself.”

Carla just shook her head and rested her cheek against Rendan’s crown. “Except me.” Definitely except her. “I told you a little about my dad, but not all of it.”

Not nearly, but she wasn’t going to open up the wounds of her past. At least, not right that second.

“I was five when I lost my mother—my
dam
.” Five and the zap of phaser fire still woke her from her dreams all these years later. “Dad dragged us to the middle of nowhere. I can’t even remember the country anymore.” Just the darkness, the midnight clouds that constantly hung over the city—remnants of the firefights. “It’d started as a simple disagreement, but they’d sent Dad in because they weren’t sure how long they’d be able to keep the violence at bay.” Even now, she didn’t remember that part. Just the rush of running from the shuttle to a waiting hovotruck that ferried them to their apartment. The rest were details filled in by others over the years.

“But he just made it worse.” Tears stung her eyes, old pain rushing forward and she fought to push it back. She smiled at Rendan through the gathering moisture. “Once a warrior, always a warrior.”

I’m gonna die with my phaser in my hand, Charlie. No better way to go.

Charlie. She’d forgotten that nickname. He’d always wished she was a boy.

“
Shaa soma?
”

She sniffled. “Right. Sorry.” She wiped her eyes, brushing away the droplets. “We arrived safely. Daddy went to the comm center while Mom and I got settled in the small apartment. Half the buildings were nothing more than rubble and there were random fires all along the streets.”

It’d been like a ghost town of old. Abandoned. Unwanted. Destroyed.

“That area had been bombed two days before and was basically a wasteland. Dad said the enemy was a half-assed band of ignorance and idiocy and they wouldn’t go back and hit the same place twice.” More tears escaped, trailing down her cheeks. “They did. No notice—no hint an attack was coming. One second it was quiet and the next…”

The whole building shook, vibrations making what was left of the structure tremble and sway. She’d been sitting in the middle of the living room, coloring and quietly playing. She’d learned to always be quiet when they traveled to the scary places.

They seemed to always go to scary places.

“My mother grabbed me, yanked me from the ground and ran while everything fell apart around us. The roof caved in. The floors cracked. More than one wall crumbled beneath the surging waves of the attack.” Carla closed her eyes, remembering those next few moments—those seconds that seemed like days.

“The ground dropped out from under us,” she whispered the words, hating what came next. “I don’t even know how far we fell. Dad never said and no one there that day ever told me, but I remember the weightlessness.”

Weightlessness before the jarring thud against hard-packed concrete and dirt.

“I watched her die, Rendan.” She focused on her mate, vision blurred by the unending tears. “She protected me while we fell, so I wouldn’t hit the ground first. And then she told me everything would be okay. Not to cry. Not to worry. Daddy would come and…”

Carla curled forward, the old pain rising up and snatching the very breath from her lungs. It hurt—these memories, her past. No, it didn’t hurt. It was agony. Remembering her mother’s blue eyes go vacant, the way her skin cooled, and how her fingers grew stiff.

“And she loved me. God, she loved me and he killed her, Rendan. His pride, his love for the military, his fucking dedication to his country… I stayed there in her arms until they found me. My dead mother kept me safe until my father was done playing soldiers.”

“
Shaa soma
,” Rendan stroked her back, held her close and simply cradled her with comfort, not passion.

“She was pregnant,” she whispered those three words. Three words that still devastated her. “I was going to have a baby brother—Calix. I remember when he stopped squirming inside her. When he stopped poking and prodding her belly. When he died, too.”

“
Shaa kouva.
” The endearment resonated inside her, ringing true in her heart and stroking her soul with those few syllables.

She found she couldn’t help but respond in kind. “
Shaa kouvi
.” Her beloved, no matter the difficulties they still faced. “Do you understand now? Why I hate the military? What’s going to happen to me when you leave? Do you want me to go with you? How many dragonlets do I have to lose before you give up on war?”

* * *

C
arla would lose
none since Rendan would never give her offspring. Ever. She would never again see the ravages of war. Not while he lived. He could not stand to see the tears escaping her eyes, the liquid flowing down her cheeks. They were proof of her sadness, the devastation that still lingered from her past.

He glanced at the meal spread before them, the remnants littering the table, and decided the mess could be dealt with at another time. At that moment, his mate needed him more than the dishes needed washing.

Rendan tightened his grip on his mate and rose from his seat in a single, flowing movement. His wings curled around his shoulders, shielding Carla without thought. His instinctive need to protect his mate from all threats—emotional or physical—showing themselves with the movement.

He turned toward Carla’s bedroom, the large space a mere twenty feet from the dining area, and slowly moved toward the room. He’d read much about human emotions and reactions since the Knowing was not, unfortunately, all knowing when it came to humans.

Human females found “crawling beneath the covers” and “hibernating” to be comforting actions. There was also mention of chocolate infused food and something called
ays-krim
. It was some sort of frozen dessert made from the milk of an Earth cow.

Rendan did not see the appeal and his dragon’s mind was more interested in consuming the Earth cow, not its milk. But he did not have to understand in order to care for his mate. He simply had to
do.

He eased through the open doorway, careful not to hit his mate’s feet or head on the jamb. The moment he stepped in, the scents in the room surrounded him, wrapping him even tighter in his mate’s natural flavors. Sweet. Spicy. Hot. Cool.

Hurt.

That was the aroma he detested above all others. The scent of her hurt stung his nose, squeezed his throat and tightened around his lungs. It stole the very breath from his body and went so deep as to injure his soul.

If it’d been a physical hurt, he could have withstood that discomfort, but this was something he couldn’t correct with a
ryaapir
unit.

Carla trembled in his arms, small body shaking, and a hoarse sob tore from her mouth. Tears flowed over his skin, soaking his chest and uniform bands. That merely had him tightening his hold, grounding her in the present while the past continued to push against her heart. He ached for what she endured, but he was in her life. He would ensure she was never hurt in such a way again.

Rendan padded to the large bed and lowered his body to the edge, still clutching his mate tightly.

“Hush,
shaa kouva
,” he murmured against her temple.

The endearment rolled off his tongue, quickly and easily replacing shaa soma. She’d responded to his verbal claiming mere moments ago with her own
shaa kouvi
and he would not allow their relationship to go back to where it was.

“I am here. You are well. Do not mourn so.” Carla turned in his arms, her hands gripping his shoulders, small nails digging into his skin. He tightened his embrace. He’d seen such reactions to death in the past, seen how the heart masters comforted those Preors. He would ground her with his touch and voice. “Your
dam
and Calix were welcomed by the skies long ago.” He pressed his palms to her back, stroking her gently. “Now we live for them,
shaa kouva
. Your
dam
wished it to be so and now you shall.”

He would teach her to live. He would teach her that after loss, there is only the future to embrace.

“I’m—“ she hiccupped and sniffled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” she shook her head and pushed as if to leave his embrace, but he would not let her go. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Stay right here,
shaa kouva
. Don’t move.” He could not help that the words sounded like an order instead of a request. He would apologize later. Perhaps.

“Rendan…” she sighed and slumped into him, the tension leaving her shoulders.

“I have you. We have each other. We mourn for those we have lost and live the life granted us by the skies.” Hadn’t he heard those words over and over again mere centuries ago? When others came to him with their whispered messages and respectful gifts.

His mate lifted her head, red-rimmed eyes meeting his. “It’s been so long.” She shook her head. “I didn’t realize I was still so…”

He did not believe he had ever seen such a beautiful sight in all his turnings. Even with her puffy face and with tears glistening on her lashes, his mate was beautiful. Not because of her body, but because of her heart. His mate loved—deeply—and he only hoped she would feel the same for him someday.

“A hole in your heart is not filled simply because time has passed.” He brushed several strands of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. “It takes time and patience for your soul to recover from such a loss.”

And sometimes the soul is broken forever. Sometimes that broken soul kills.

He stroked her cheek, her damp skin a testament to the emotional agony that still tumbled inside her. “Every time your soul calls out for comfort, I shall be there,
shaa kouva
. You are mine now and I will not let you go. I will not let you suffer when I can help you. I will not let you cry anywhere but on my shoulder.”

The white of her eyes was now stained red, her body rejecting the tears that formed, and contrasted against the bright blue of her irises. Her golden hair created a soft halo around her face, the strands rumpled from his tender attention.

She appeared so delicate, so breakable in that moment, and he vowed to never let anything happen to her. He understood the other mated males now. Understood why they snarled at any who upset their female and tripped over their wings to grant her every wish.

“You don’t want me crying all over—“ She pushed away again as if to leave him, but he would not relent.

“I do. I want your tears and your smiles. I want your heart. You will give it all to me, Carla joi Rendan Butler. I will see to it.”

He wondered if perhaps he behaved like a
kave-man
. He also wondered how to apologize even though he was not sorry.

“Really?” The corner of Carla’s lips tipped up, curling into a small smile and he released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“Really.” He jerked his head in a brisk nod, punctuating his statement.

This was no time for lies. He would give her enough of those in the coming risings… and turnings. She slumped in his hold, giving him more of her weight, her curves caressing him and reminding him of his body’s need. With her tears gone, his cock twitched back to life, anxious for Carla’s wet heat.