Rescuing Rapunzel (28 page)

But I also did not want to be used as a pawn in a business arrangement. I wanted to marry because I wanted it, not because I was a prize to be won.

While Duchess von Hohburg would not be happy about it, at the very least the betrothal would have to be put off. A year, perhaps. To give me time to better understand what was expected of me as Katherina von Stroebel. Rather, Lady Katherina Greta von Stroebel. I had to remember that title–they were so important here.

In short, I needed to speak to Nick. Waiting until morning would preclude sleeping, so I went to talk to Kiki. She agreed with me about putting off the betrothal for some time, and together we came up with a plan to let me speak to Nick.

The very plan that had me walking through this hardly-used corridor, avoiding spider webs and trying to find Nick’s room. Kiki had not mentioned the spider webs. We would have to have a little talk about leaving out important details.

“Five,” I whispered as I passed another arched doorway.

I noticed immediately that the spider webs had diminished, as if this area were actually used on occasion. Undoubtedly by Kiki, sneaking about gathering gossip like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter.

I could not help smiling as I passed the sixth door.

A few steps farther and I stood outside the seventh door. Nick’s door.

I paused at this last hurdle, suddenly unsure if I really wanted to enter his room. I still could go back, slip into my bed and pretend this had not happened. He would never know I had gotten this far, that I had come to see him.

My racing heart thundered in my ears. Was this a horrible mistake? I was sneaking into his room. Probably not the thing a lady should be doing. Yet I did not feel like a lady anyway, so the point was moot.

I put my hand on the door, then snatched it off and took a step back. Maybe I should wait. Maybe, just maybe, I would be better off heading back to my room.

No.

No, I had come this far. I was a grown woman. Nick and I needed to speak. Now. Tonight. We had to talk through this, or…or…

We just had to.

I loved Nick. I would not make excuses to stay away. Had I not been trapped long enough, not just by Gothel’s tower, but by my own fears?

My fears would not control me anymore.

I had reached for the door and was looking for the little round handle Kiki told me was on each one, when it jerked open and I leaped back, yelping.

“Tressey?” Nick whispered. He held a candle, his hair was rumpled and his eyes wide with shock.

“I…”

I did not have time to think as he pulled me into his chamber.

Chapter 40

Nick had waited as long as he could, having planned to sneak down the passage to Tressey’s room undetected. He had argued with himself against going a thousand times–he should let her be, at least tonight–but every time, his need to be near her had filled him.

When he had pulled the door open, he had jerked in shock–there she was, standing before him. Dusty from the old passage, her hands shaking from nerves, but she had come.

He pulled her inside, wrapping his arms around her in a deep embrace.

She let out a sigh, whispered his name, and he brushed the hood of her robe back to reveal her face. Her lips parted, not quite in a smile but a mixture of wonder, hesitation, and something else he could not define.

“Surprise,” she whispered.

“You are amazingly resourceful,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Kiki is an amazing resource.”

He snorted. “That she is.” He stroked her soft cheek, marveling at the texture of her skin. He let his fingers wander toward her jaw, following the hard line, a contrast to the smoothness of her skin.

She stiffened and pulled away from him. She paced about his bedroom, the candle in her hand trembling.

“Tressey?”

“We need to speak,” she said.

Nick nodded. That was not how he wanted to spend the night with her, but there was much to be said. “Of course. Please, sit down.” He led her to the study area and headed to the cupboard where he kept his personal stock of spirits. “Would you like a drink?” He knew he needed one, for he did not want to speak to her, but hold her, touch her and anything else she would allow. But that determination hung in her eyes, so he poured himself a generous glass.

“Yes, please,” she replied, adjusting the robe around her body to cover herself.

He poured some for her and handed her the glass, taking a seat on the chair next to hers. “What do you wish to speak about?” he asked, sipping from his glass.

She took a sip, wincing at the sharp taste of the whiskey, but it seemed to fortify her. “I need to go back to Castle von Stroebel.”

That was the last thing he had expected her to say. “Why is that?”

“I need to know my family, Nick. Who I am, where I come from.”

“Do you not want to be my betrothed?”

She sipped on her drink again, not wincing this time. “No, I do not.”

“Why not?” Nick asked.

She sighed. “Because, there is so much more to this than just you and me. I cannot expect you to fulfill a promise made by our parents. You were a child. I was a baby. A prize, at the very least…”

“You are a not just a prize to be won, Tressey.”

“But you would gain–”

“I would gain more land. More responsibility.” That very thought had been plaguing him since the dowry had come up. The responsibility of not only taking care of his own province, but of hers as well. He was just beginning to learn how to tend the few farms his father had given him. Now he would have double the lands. Double the tenants. It was a vast undertaking and he was not sure he was ready.
 

“More wealth,” she added.

“I did not look for you for all the years because I wanted more land.”

“Then why did you do it?”

He ran his hand through his hair. “I did it because it was the right thing to do. To help a family.”

“I see,” she said as she stood and began pacing around the room. “We might not suit.”

He raised his eyebrow. “You think we would not make a good match? Now?” After everything they had been through in the last few weeks, now she had doubts about their compatibility? Suddenly, he felt as if she was back in her tower, and he was on the ground, shooting arrows at the window that never made it there.

“It is not that I think we would make a bad match,” she said softly as she sat down again. “It is more than that. I do not want you to marry me because you feel you have to.”

“I do not feel that,” he said.

Her green eyes were wide as she stared at him. “Then what is it you feel?”

He crossed to her and knelt before her chair. “I want you to be happy, Tressey. More than anything, I want you to feel that you are free.”

She blinked at him. “I do not feel free here.”

“Why not?” he asked.

He did not understand. She had the freedom of the castle, was able to go anywhere on the grounds she wished, do anything she chose. Why would she not feel free?

“Because, Nick, I feel watched.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “It seems like I am constantly doing something wrong. How can I possibly make you, or anyone for that matter, a good wife, if I am naive about everything I must do?”

Nick stared into her eyes, filled with torment. “By being who you are. I do not expect a perfect wife. I would never last married to someone perfect.” He sighed. “Tressey, until I met you I did not want to be wed at all. Why do you think I spent so much time avoiding Kiki’s friends?”

“You did not avoid Lady Eva much,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow. “Lady Eva is as skilled a tracker as Bryan.”

A tiny smile crept across her face. “That I believe.”

He touched her trembling hand, squeezing the soft skin. She surprised him by squeezing back. “If I said I wanted you to stay, that would be cruel of me. I understand why you want to see your home, to learn where you come from. You have had your entire world turned on its axis. I imagine you are trying to put everything in order, to regain some form of normalcy in your life.”

She nodded.

“If I insisted you stayed, I would be no less cruel than Gothel.” His shoulders slumped at the words, for he knew it was true. She needed to know who she was and what her life might have been. “I refuse to be so cruel to you. If you wish to leave when the von Stroebels do, I will not stop you.”

She nodded. “I still wish to end the betrothal.”

Nick blinked. “Why?”

She shrugged. “Because I must know who I am before I can pledge myself to someone else.”

He did not like that, and he knew he would not be the only one, but he had made some ground tonight and did not want to lose it now. “If that is your wish.” Nick felt as if another dagger had been stabbed in his chest. This one, though, was right in his heart.

“Oh, thank you,” she said, almost falling out of her chair into his arms. “Thank you for understanding.”

Nick was not sure he did, but he would try to respect her wishes.

What choice did he have? He loved her.

Chapter 41

I spoke with the grand duke today. While I was nervous, the discussion went well and I told him what I knew. And proceeded to run away to my room, to take a bath.

A good soak seemed quite the thing to relax me after the grand duke’s summons.

I soaked in it for a while, until the water turned cold against my skin. I had just managed to put on a simple dress–one I could lace myself–when there was a knock at the door.

My hair was still damp, and I brushed it away from my face as I walked to the door.

I expected to see Nick or Kiki, but found myself face to face with Penn.

“Hello,” I said, shocked to see him, of all people, at my door.

“Do you have a moment? I wish to speak with you.”

“Of course.” I moved so he could enter. “Please come in.”

It was then I noticed the darkness in Penn’s eyes. I had no reason to fear him, I told myself, but I left my chamber open, nodding to the two guards outside.

Penn either did not notice or did not care what I was doing. He simply took a seat in one of the chairs in the sitting room.

“What can I do for you, Penn?” I asked, taking a seat across from him.

He glanced at me, then looked down at the floor, before finally setting his gaze back on me. “I…” He ran his hand over his face. “I wanted to apologize to you, Lady Katherina.”

I blinked, stunned not only by the use of my formal name, but by his words. “For what?”

He looked at the floor yet again, hands clenched on his knees. “I tend to let my mouth run off at times, and I fear I might have offended you on occasion.”

“Perhaps.” I raised my eyebrow at him. “On occasion.”

“Then I feel I should apologize. Make amends, as a proper nobleman should.”

“I see,” I said, shifting in my chair. “Then I gladly accept your apology.”

His gaze wandered around the room then he narrowed his brown eyes at me, a stare so intense, I wound up shivering.

“How do you do it?” he asked. “What do you do when everything you know has been upturned and will never be the same again?”

I blinked. “I, uh…I do not know, Penn.”

He stood and paced the room. “I never wanted this. I did not want this title, this obligation, this…this power.” He stopped and this time, when he looked at me, I could see the worry on his face. “I will have an entire province to care for once the hangings are complete, and I know my life is over.” He took a step toward me. “How do you do it? How do you change, Tressey?”

I did not even pause to consider my words, they just tumbled out. “One step at a time. You move forward, one step at a time, taking it in little by little, until finally, you have all of it.”

“And what if I cannot take it all?”

“Penn, I believe you can take on much more than you think possible.”

“How would you know?”

“Because I could, and I know nothing of the world. If I can do this, live through such an upheaval, then I know you can.”

He smiled, and it was warm and gentle. “Thank you, Tressey.”

“You are most welcome, Penn.”

He turned and, at the door, paused. “If Nick ever treats you unkindly, know you have a friend in me. I would be happy to remind him how to treat a woman.”

I smiled. “I appreciate that, thank you.”

He winked and walked out the door, his steps a little lighter.

Chapter 42

The sun started to rise on the day and Nick stood in the courtyard, next to Tressey, now officially known as Lady Katherina Greta von Stroebel. Their hands brushed, and he could not help slipping his pinky finger around hers. She glanced at him, a hint of a smile creeping over her features, though it faded quickly. The darkness of the coming moments seemed to weigh heavily in the dawning light.