Restraint (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (34 page)

I hook my foot on the stool again
and mount it. I want to be face-to-face with my master. “Say you’re sorry. Apologize,” I demand in his face.

The crowd eggs him on
Apologize! Apologize! Sorry! Apologize! Sorry!
They repeat this for several minutes. I hold my forearm up and they immediately shush.

“I am so sorry Katya Ava Waters. I would kneel before you if I could.” His voice is so sincere that I almost stop everything. I can’t though. He has
to learn or he’ll do it again, and if not to me, then to the boys. This needs to be about trust and mutual respect, or it needs not be at all.

“Why are you sorry?” I softly murmur, needing to hear the words said out loud, to make this real.

“I’m sorry I impersonated both Jeannine and Kimber. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I understand your grief at their loss. I didn’t anticipate that when I formulated the plan. I’m sorry I played this as a game. I should have just come to you three years ago when I found you and told you everything. I just didn’t know how to say the words.” Ezra closes his eyes, cutting off all access to his emotions.

“Holy fuck
, this is hard,” Ez brutally hisses. “They don’t make a Hallmark card for what I need to say to you. I still believe you must uncover the truth for yourself, and I will not ruin your progress by doing it for you. I deeply apologize for any harm and pain I unintentionally wrought upon you.” He leans towards me and rests his forehead against mine. “I do trust you,” Ezra breathes against my face. “I will earn yours again. I promise you this.”

Overcome with emotion
, I grab his face and fiercely kiss him. I inhale him into me, his intoxicating scent and taste, the silkiness of his lips against mine, the feel of his hard body against my softer one. I can’t get close enough to him. I climb his body and wrap my legs around his waist. Ezra’s cock readily rises against my tummy and privates, and I salaciously rock against him, reveling in the friction. I moan so loudly that it echoes around the dungeon. Hands, multiple hands, are on my calves, softly caress me.

The silence and my own sounds
draw me out of my little world. Ezra’s arms are straining under my additional weight. I climb off of him and onto my stool. I rub Ezra’s arms, making sure they are alright. The expression on his face is pained, pure agony, but not from his arms.

“I want to be with you again. Watching you and Aaron almost killed me. I would have done a
nything to make love to you.” The look on his face is full of ache. I would do anything to take the ache away. I’m not sure why he pushed Aaron and me together. The entire thing confuses me.

“You could have joined us,
” I cry in frustration. I don’t regret being with Aaron. It was pleasant and friendly, but I would have chosen Ezra first. I have no idea if I’d have regretted being with Ezra or not. But he would have always been my first choice- always.

“I wasn’t sure you’d freak. I
… I can’t be with you until you remember everything,” Ezra cries.

“Okay, let’s just say I remember
!” I shout as I throw up my arms and incredulously stare at Ezra.

“No-” his expression is truly pained. “It doesn’t work that way
, Katya. I can’t remember for you. You have to work this out for yourself.”

I fe
el an uncomfortable sensation crawling up the back of my neck. I turn slightly and notice the forty-some people surrounding us. The crowd is silent in their shock. Our private moment is very much on display. Yes, a dungeon isn’t the place to discuss making love, therapy sessions, or the fact that what I just did, and what I was contemplating, was tantamount to adultery. I said I wouldn’t go there with Ezra because he is in a committed relationship, and when the lust is riding me, I seem to not give a shit. I can’t allow this to happen again. I take a deep breath and make myself a promise. No sex with unavailable men, especially those who have been stalking me for three years.

During our exchange
, Cortez and Aaron had moved closer. The pair is shoulder-to-shoulder against Ezra, holding him stationary. Each has an arm around Ezra’s back. They must have held us up when I played monkey on Ezra. Theirs were the hands fondling my legs.

I mouth
Thank You
to both of them and give them each a light kiss. The crowd expresses a collective sigh at the kisses.

“Are we enjoying the show?”
I ask to distract everyone from my embarrassment.

Loud cheers and
Whoop Whoop Whoop
courses through the crowd.

I blush bright red and
notice the trio joins me in mutual embarrassment. I remember Queen saying they always played in their private room. This is probably extremely uncomfortable for them. I know it is for me. I’ve never done anything in public.

“I think since we’ve gotten the humiliation out of the way,” I pause to laugh
, and the crowd joins me. “It’s time for the punishment to begin.” I expected the crowd to go crazy with that. I look up at them. They are waiting in anticipation. The air charges with excitement. A throat clearing brings my focus back to Ezra.

“What do you mea
n- punishment? Isn’t this what I’ve endured?” Ezra’s voice breaks with fear.

“Not so fast
,” I rapidly murmur. “We have a lot to punish you for.” I look to Aaron, “Baby Boy, bring us the toys.” He glares at me, but otherwise, does as he’s told.

“This is a
member’s only punishment. Please stand in an orderly fashion,” I politely say to Restraint’s dungeon residents. “You may select one toy from the cart and inflict your punishment on our naughty Master. Don’t leave permanent damage or I will damage you.” My eyes rove over the crowd at the last part of my statement. I want them to know I am dead serious. They cower as my eyes meet theirs, and a few people even drop onto their knees.

“Good! I
will take the last turn. Skullfuck, you may begin. Please supervise the other members during their turn, please.”

I hop on my stool again
, bringing me face-to-face with Ezra. I grip his hips to keep him from swaying too much and injuring himself. “Have you been struck before?” He flinches as I ask, answering my question.

“No. I haven’t. I’ve never been in the submissive position.”
He may have never submitted, but I can tell from his demeanor that he has been struck. I wish I could remove that experience from him. To submit and accept your fate is not the same as being victimized.

“Well, Master, if you can dish
out a punishment, I believe you must experience it or at least attempt it. Now it’s your turn.”

I watch Cortez select a riding crop from the cart and test
its weight in his palm. One strong flick back and he bounces it in his palm. We lock eyes while he strikes out. Ezra moves in his binds. I grip tighter to immobilize him. He doesn’t flinch from the pain or make any noise. The only change is in his breathing- sharp intakes of breath.

“Aaron, don’t pussy out on me. Do as requested. You will not like the co
nsequences for pulling your hit,” I threaten.

Aaron
angrily takes the crop from Cortez, all the while glaring at me. “You shouldn’t have chosen this punishment. It’s wrong. It’s too much for so little.” He defiantly looks at me.

“
It’s too much for so little- really, Aaron? Pretending to be two separate people to stalk me is so little. Is it so little to lose two people you came to rely on? They are dead to me, Aaron. I grieve. What don’t you get about that?” I hiss at him.

“You didn’t lose anything, Katya,” Aaron hisses. “They’re right there,” he shouts while pointing at Ezra. We stare each other down, a true faceoff. He’
s pissed at me for teaching Master Ez that there are consequences to his actions, and I am angry with him for not getting it.

“The feeling’s mutua
l right now, Aaron,” I sadly say, knowing I’m losing a friend I just made. “I know that you would choose him over any person on this planet. Do this for him. He needs it to repent.” I try to sound reassuring, but I can tell by the angry set of his eyes that he isn’t hearing me.

“Aaron, she’s correct. I need this to heal. Do it for me
please?” Ezra’s voice is gentle.

Before my eyes can track the hit, it has
already came to a stop. Aaron shoulder bumps me on his way by. I watch him leave the dungeon. This is why I didn’t want his help earlier. This is why Cortez and I make a better demonic duo. Aaron- makes love to me one night- hates me the next. Way to go, Katya, you’re just making buddies all over the place.

I sigh deeply and blink the tears away. I guess this answers the question I needed to know. I am at the bottom of the list when it
comes to the trio.
Katya, no shit! It’s trio- not quartet!

Several members take
their turns as I’m lost in my own little miseries. Dexter’s approach catches my eye. Hmm… this could be really bad. He picks a flat paddle from the cart and smiles to himself, as if he loves the feel of a weapon in his palm. I wince as he takes his swing. Ezra doesn’t sway in my hands at all. I’m surprised, of all the people who would pull their hit, it was Dexter.

Queen is up next. She barely
flicks her wrist on her swing. “Girlfriend, I wasn’t talking about your ability as a dominant. I’m worried about your heart. Seeing the hurt cross your face as Aaron walked out is exactly what I was worried about. I’m sorry,” Queen whispers in my ear for only me to hear.

The last member strides up and ho
lds my stare. I gasp in shock. Monica is a member. Her appearance suggests she is a submissive, which makes sense since she used to play with Cortez. Pure hatred emanates from her as she swings a paddle lightly at Ezra’s bum. His reaction or lack thereof, says he didn’t even feel the hit. She flashes a wicked smile my way- promises of things to come.

“Well, folks, it seems we only have one hit left.” I hop down from my perch and stalk to the cart. I
select the cat o’ nine tails. “A cat for the mousy- how apropos.” I prance around as a kitty kat with the cat in my hands, even though I feel no thrill or enjoyment. Aaron’s revelation ruined the experience for me.

I run the soft leather over Ezra’s reddened skin. I lean forward and kiss a few of the welts. His back and rear are red, but not how I figured it would look. The
members respect and love their Master and they took mercy on him. I doubt I would receive the same reprieve.

With a flick of my wrist t
he cat connects with Ezra’s ass and thighs. I, however, do not pull my hit. He receives the full brunt of the force. Cortez is playing spotter- holding Ezra into place. Ezra holds back a scream- just barely. He’s wildly panting- his chest expands with every breath.

I’m not sure why I hit him so hard. Something inside me forced my hand. My subconscious said I would only get one chance to expel my anger and frustration
, so I took my chance. I refuse to apologize. This man has fucked with my head in the name of healing. I think I hold a well of resentment in a small spot inside me, and it lashed out- happily.

“Please go about your normal business. Master Ez and I thank you for your participation.” I gl
ance at Ezra, “Say thank you.”

“Thanks, guys.” Ezra lets out a relieved
, hearty laugh that his punishment is finally over. I notice he doesn’t thank me for his punishment.

Chapter Thirty-Three

“I have some ointment in my bathroom that we can use to sooth
e his skin. I’ll be right back,” I tell the trio, and it just so happens to be the same ointment Ezra used on my gnarled wrist.

Ezra lies
on his stomach on his bed, eyes watching us all- rats in an experiment. Aaron, who is still refusing to acknowledge my existence, sits in a chair in the corner of the bedroom, pouting like a little bitch. 

“Here,” Cortez says as
he opens a door-sized panel on the bedroom wall. “Your living room is right though here.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!
” I girlishly stomp my foot. “Seriously?” No wonder they were always in my apartment and I couldn’t figure out how. I was baffled on how they got past four deadbolts and the chain lock. I rush to my bathroom for the ointment, trying not to think about how disgusted I feel. Every swear word in existence flows through my mind.

I
don’t feel bad for punishing Ezra. I feel vindicated. Holy shit! The stalker has a portal to my living room… from his bedroom. He has surveillance on me at all times. He plays imaginary people on the internet, for Christ’s sake. I don’t think I punished my stalker enough. Aaron can just take a big suck of my ass! 

I toss the tube on the bed. “Who has the honors?”
My tone is bitchy.

“I would think since it was your idea, you should be the one to fix it,” Aaron
snottily says back to me. Lovely. Aaron reminds me of a mother who gets angry when you yell at their kid for beating your puppy. It’s always someone else’s fault. Ezra did wrong and was punished. The end!