Retreat (30 page)

    
“Told you to pay attention,” he said.

    
“Okay. Now we’re going to start in teams of
two,” Karen called out. “The first team is Patrick and Meg. After I assign you
to a partner, the two of you need to line up over by the edge of the porch.
Once everyone has a partner we’re going to hike out onto the trail for the rest
of the exercise.”

    
Meg and Patrick looked at each other
awkwardly and headed toward the porch.

    
“Bill and Mark.”

    
Her father got up and walked over to the
porch with Mark.

    
“Rebecca and Clara.”

    
Clara’s mouth dropped open and she lowered
her eyes at Karen.

    
“I’d like a different partner,” she said.

    
“Why’s that Clara?” Karen asked.

    
“Because in order to trust someone they
need to be trustworthy,” she said, crossing her arms and leveling her gaze at
Rebecca.

    
“If that’s the way you feel then I want a
new partner, too,” Rebecca said.

    
“Ladies, come on. The fact that you both
say that makes me believe that you are truly the best partners for each other.
If your company is going to function properly you two are going to have to get
over whatever it is that is pulling you apart and learn to work together. I’m
not changing your assignment.”

    
Rebecca glared at Clara. They walked over
to the porch. Clara saw Patrick and Meg exchange glances. Meg tried to stifle a
laugh and failed.

    
“You think it’s funny?” Clara asked her.

    
“No, not at all,” she said, straightening
up. Clara could tell she was biting the inside of her cheek to keep from
laughing.

    
“Good,” Rebecca sneered at her.

    
“Okay, so we have one odd man out. Joe, you
can come with me,” Karen said.

    
At least I’m not partners with Karen, Clara
thought. Rebecca looked at her. Clara forced a sarcastic smile.

    
“Let’s just get this over with,” Rebecca
said.

    
“Fine with me.”

    
They followed Karen and Joe down the trail
to a clearing surrounded by large maple trees. It reminded Clara of the little
clearings that pagan gods would perform ritual cleansings in. Karen had them
form a circle.

    
“Okay. The first thing we’re going to do is
trust falls,” she announced.

    
“We did those in girl scouts,” Rebecca said
to Clara. “Do you remember?”

    
“Yes,” she said. “You dropped me.”
    
“I did not,” Rebecca said
indignantly.

    
“Yes you did. Susan Miller distracted you
and I fell right on the ground.”

    
“Oh. I forgot about that.”

    
“If you drop me this time I’ll kick your
ass,” Clara threatened.

    
“We’re adults now, remember?” Rebecca
sneered.

    
“Ladies? One meeting please,” Karen said.

    
“On second thought, go ahead and drop me,”
Clara said. “And make sure my head hits a rock.”

    
Rebecca snickered. “Don’t tempt me.”

    
“Okay line up,” Karen said. “One in front
of the other.”

    
“You first,” Clara said. Rebecca stood
about two feet in front of her, looking forward.

    
“Okay. Now. I’m not going to tell you when
to fall,” Karen instructed. “Whenever you’re ready just let yourself fall back
into your partner’s arms. You need to trust that he or she will be there to
catch you.”

    
“Go ahead,” Clara said. “Let’s get this
over with.”

    
Rebecca fell back into Clara’s arms. Clara had
to steady herself against her sister’s weight.

    
“I guess we aren’t kids anymore,” she said.

    
“Okay, your turn. I promise I won’t drop
you,” Rebecca said.

    
Clara took a deep breath and stood in front
of her sister. She fell backward, bracing to hit the ground. She landed instead
in Rebecca’s outstretched arms. Rebecca pushed her up to her feet.

    
“Thank you,” Clara said.

    
“No problem,” Rebecca said.

    
After the trust falls, Karen asked the
group to sit on the ground in a circle. Clara vaguely wondered what she would
have done if it was raining.

    
“Now we’re going to dialogue about the
nature of truth and how understanding that nature will lead to trust among the
group,” Karen said. “Who can tell me what truth is?”

    
Clara stared down at her Birkenstocks. She’d
found them stashed away in a box in the back of Grammy’s closet. She hadn’t
worn them since high school. They were very wide, making her feet appear small
inside them. The pedicure she’d gotten in Tulsa
the day before everything went to hell was holding up nicely, although her hot
pink toenails looked out of place in such earthy shoes.

    
She glanced over at Rebecca, who was
listening intently to Karen babble on about the relative nature of all things.
Her father was sitting beside and a little behind Karen, where she couldn’t see
him beginning to nod off. Clara tried not to laugh. He was a nodder. Always had
been. After Josie left he and Clara would go to church each Sunday and after
the first reading she would hear a tiny gasp and snore. She’d spend the rest of
the service elbowing him in the ribs to keep him awake. She smiled at the
memory.

    
“Clara?” Karen said, as if she were waiting
for something.

    
“Yes, Karen?” Clara asked, coming back to
the moment.

    
“Can you answer that for us, please?”

    
Clara looked around the group and frowned.
They were all looking at her expectantly, except Patrick, who was trying to
smother a laugh. He already had her number from the whole computer incident.

    
“Could you repeat the question?” Clara
asked.

    
“Certainly,” Karen said, sitting up a
little straighter on the dirt. “I’d like you to name one thing you consider a
global truth.”

    
“A global truth?”

    
“Something that just is, that no one would
argue about.”

    
Clara took a deep breath and let it fill up
her cheeks until she looked like a little chipmunk. Then she exhaled it all at
once in a little burst.

    
“Trust no one?” she asked.

    
The group burst into laughter. Karen shook
her head at Clara.

    
“Haven’t you been paying attention at all?”
she asked.

    
“I’m sorry, Karen,” Clara said, trying to
sound sincere. “This is just such a pretty setting that my mind tends to wander
a bit. We’re coming up on some free time, right?”

    
“Yes,” Karen said, scanning the group. “It
looks like Clara isn’t the only one who could use a break.”

    
Her dad mouthed “thank you” from across the
circle. Then he pulled himself up from the ground.

    
“Great morning, Karen,” he said giving her
a little pat on the back. “We’ll see you after lunch.”

    
“Yes. You’ll find the afternoon agenda in
your cabins,” Karen called after them.

    
Clara stood up and stretched then headed
for the trail that led to Firelight
Falls.

    
“Wait up,” Rebecca called, coming up behind
her.

    
“What is it?” Clara asked.

    
“What are you doing now?”

    
“I was going to go back to the cabin and check
on Josie.”

    
“I guess I should check on Elizabeth, too.”

    
Yeah, I guess, Clara thought, but she
didn’t say it. She also didn’t tell her sister that she wanted to check on Elizabeth, too. She’d
really enjoyed playing with her at the bungalow. It was relaxing to hang out
with someone who wanted to be with her so completely.

    
They walked side by side along the path
back toward the cabin.

    
“So I’ve been thinking,” Rebecca said.

    
Clara glanced at her and continued walking.

    
“I’ve been thinking that maybe you and I
should volunteer to be partners for the rest of the retreat, you know, to see
if we can get along.”

    
Clara stopped and looked at her.

    
“What?” Rebecca asked.

    
“You need to take care of your daughter,
Rebecca. Josie has been planning this retreat for months and now she can’t even
participate in it because you have her babysitting.”

    
“She wanted to!” Rebecca cried.

    
“I know she did. But you’re going to need
to insist that she spend some time with the rest of the group. Maybe let her go
to the afternoon sessions.”

    
“I guess I could do that,” Rebecca said
with a shrug, as if it didn’t really matter to her one way or the other.

    
“If you don’t then I’ll sit with Elizabeth,” Clara said.
“Mom just needs to get out here with the group.”

    
“Okay. Well, maybe tomorrow we can be
partners then?” Rebecca asked. Clara wondered why she was so eager to hang out
with her when history told them that it always ended up badly.

    
“Yeah, maybe,” Clara said, picking up her
pace.

CHAPTER
15

    
When Clara and Rebecca reached Firelight
Falls Josie and Elizabeth were playing with a soccer ball out front. Elizabeth tried to kick
the ball to Josie but her little aim was off. Clara jogged over and got into
the game. Rebecca sat down on the porch steps to watch.

    
“How were the morning sessions?” Josie
asked, kicking the ball to Clara with the side of her sandaled foot.

    
“They were fine,” Clara said, receiving it
and gently kicking it to Elizabeth.
She told Josie about the trust and truth exercises. “We have some time before
lunch and then we jump back into it.”

    
“There are note cards on the table with the
agenda,” her mother said. “Karen had the park maintenance man drop them off.
Apparently he’s the only one with keys to all of the cabins and Karen sweet-talked
him into being her delivery boy.”

    
The ball rolled past Elizabeth, who watched
it sail right by and then squealed with glee. Clara jogged over to her and
grabbed her tiny hand. She led her over to where the ball stopped and knelt
down beside her.

    
“What you’ve got to do is go after the
ball,” she said, smiling. “When you see it coming toward you just run to it and
kick it. Can you do that?”

    
Elizabeth
shook her little blond head up and down vigorously.

    
“Okay. Let’s give it a try.” Clara grabbed the
ball and walked a few feet from Elizabeth.
Then she gently kicked it to her, so gingerly that she was afraid it might stop
before it reached her.

    
Instead, Elizabeth ran right up to the ball and kicked
it as hard as she could, sending it flying off sideways toward the trail she
and Rebecca had emerged from a few minutes before. Elizabeth giggled and ran over to Clara,
holding her arms up to her. Clara picked her up and swung her around, then
propped her on her hip. When she turned to retrieve the ball she saw that Jon
had joined Josie and Rebecca, and all three of them were watching her with
interest.

    
“Come on,” she said quietly to Elizabeth, nuzzling her
nose into her neck. “Let’s get the ball.” Clara jogged over to where the ball
was, Elizabeth
giggling as she bounced along on her hip. When they got to the ball Clara set
her down and let her kick it.