Reunited with the Cowboy (10 page)

John thought of a few pictures that Heather had sent Ellen of the work she had done. He remembered the first time he'd seen her staring at the camera, looking all sultry and smoky-eyed, and he'd realized that the Heather he had loved was as far removed from him as the earth was from the sun.

“I'm sorry that you felt that way,” he said. “But you were always beautiful to me, in more ways than just the superficial. You were and are a loving and giving person with a warm heart.”

Heather grew very still and he thought perhaps he'd said the wrong thing.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

He tightened his hold on her, then pulled her closer, kissing her again.

It felt so good. So right.

“Kissing you is like coming home,” he said, tucking her head against his neck once more.

“It's a good place to be,” she admitted.

Then they heard Adana cry out, and Heather pulled away.

“I'll go check on her,” John said, sitting up, his head suddenly pounding.

“No. You stay here.” Heather gently pushed him back. “I'll go see her.”

He gave her a slow smile. “Thanks.”

Heather left the room and John closed his eyes, surprised at how he could feel so sick and so well at the same time. The glimpses Heather had given him of her life with her mother disturbed him, yet helped him understand why she had done what she did.

“Daddy, I sleep.”

Adana's chipper voice made him lift his head. He watched Heather come down the stairs, holding Adana close, her eyes on the steps. When they came toward him, both of them smiling at him, he felt his heart expand.

Could they do this? he wondered. Could they truly sweep away the past years of silence and move on?

He saw Heather's smile widen, and his questions were replaced with hopeful possibilities.

Chapter Ten

“J
ust take one more bite and then we can go outside,” Heather coaxed Adana, who sat in the high chair beside her at the kitchen table.

Early morning sun slanted into the room, illuminating the dancing motes of dust. Sugar, despite Alice's restrictions that she stay on the porch, lay on the rug in front of the kitchen cupboards. Her tail beat out a slow, steady thump of pleasure as she watched Heather and Adana, as if curious to see who would win.

Adana just stared at her, then laughed. “No eat. Go 'side.”

Heather looked from the happy girl to the bowl of porridge she had been trying to feed her. Adana had eaten about a third of it. Was that enough?

“How about one more mouthful?” she asked, not sure if she should push her.

Adana turned her head aside and held her chubby hands out in front of her in a classic gesture of denial.

“Okay. I'm not going to be the big meanie,” Heather said, dropping the spoon in the bowl. She took the leftovers to the sink, walking around Sugar, who dropped her head on her paws, obviously losing interest in the standoff.

“Do you think I should have pressed her?” Heather said to the dog as she rinsed out the bowl. “Am I too much of a pushover?”

Sugar just looked up at her, then laid her head on her paws again and eased out a doggy sigh.

“You're no help,” Heather said as she put the bowl in the dishwasher, then went back to get Adana and set her on the counter beside the sink. As she rinsed out a cloth to wipe the toddler's face, she glanced out the window and her hands grew still. She let her gaze drift past the barns and corrals to the rolling hills surrounding the ranch. The snow was completely gone now and soon, with the spring rains, the fields would be greening up.

Her soul felt nourished, revived by the open land, and she tested the idea of staying. Could she find a job in Saddlebank that would allow her to feel independent? That would give her the sense of self-worth she'd spent so much time seeking?

“Daddy, coming here,” Adana called out, scrambling to her feet to stand on the counter, pressing her hands against the window.

Heather steadied her as she watched John walk toward the house. As a concession to the warmer weather, he wore a faded denim jacket instead of a coat over his shirt. His gloves were tucked in the back pocket of his blue jeans. His worn cowboy hat was pulled low over his face, but as Heather watched, he paused to cough again. Last night he had slept at his own house and she hadn't seen him yet this morning.

As she studied him, she felt her heart shift in her chest. This man had taken up so much of her thoughts. And for a bleak time in her life she'd thought she would never see him again. Never be a part of his life.

Now?

She allowed herself a wisp of a dream. She and John and the little girl beside her. Together. The thought swirled through Heather's mind, and for an enticing moment it solidified.

Could she and John recapture what they had once had?

He was closer by now and looked toward the house. He saw them and waved, and Adana wiggled her chubby fingers back at him. “Daddy. Come,” she called out, the imperious tone in her voice making Heather laugh.

“You are a little princess, aren't you,” she said.

She set Adana back down, turned her face with a gentle hand and carefully wiped her mouth, cheeks and hands. Adana allowed her to do so, then smiled up at her.

Heather's heart swelled as she looked down at the little girl. This adorable child had slowly worked her way into her heart. She hadn't wanted to fall in love with her. Would have preferred not to. She was such a clear reminder of what Heather had lost, but slowly Adana had taken on her own personality. Adorable and precious.

Heather set the cloth down and picked the child up in her arms. To her surprise, Adana laid her head in the crook of Heather's neck and wrapped her own arms around her.

“Love you,” she said.

Heather choked back a sob and clung to her, pure love washing over her.

“You little munchkin,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead, as tears threatened. “You darling little girl.”

She gently rocked Adana in her arms. She couldn't cry. She couldn't start that. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, dismayed to feel a tear slip down her cheek.

“Hey, are you okay?”

She startled as she felt John's hand on her shoulder. She quickly averted her head, surreptitiously wiping at the moisture on her cheek. “I'm fine,” she said with forced cheerfulness, giving herself a second to compose herself. She shifted the child in her arms, still looking away. “I was just cleaning Adana up from breakfast. She didn't have much to eat, I'm afraid. I wasn't very strict with her so she'll probably be hungry in an hour or so.”

Stop now. You're babbling.

When Heather felt she finally had her emotions under control, she turned back to John.

He was watching her, a curious look on his face.

“So, how are you feeling?” she asked, trying to avert the questions she saw in his eyes. She had told him so much already, she felt raw from the exposure. She needed to retrench, find her footing and keep her head on straight.

John wagged his hand. “A bit good and a bit not so good.” He coughed again, as if underlining his comment.

“What's on the agenda today?”

“Not a lot. Cows are processed and the fences look good. I thought you and Adana might want to take a drive into town with me. I have to get some oats for the horses and some oil for the tractor. It needs an oil change. We could stop at the Grill and Chill for a cup of coffee after I get what I need.”

That seemed so domestic. Going into town with John and Adana.

“As long as we're home after lunch,” Heather said. “Keira and Tanner are back this afternoon and she really wanted to go for a ride.”

“We'll be back by then.”

“Great. That would work out fine. I should pick up a few things for the bridal shower on Thursday, as well. I told Keira that since I was around, I would do some baking for it.”

“That's right. That's coming up. I forgot.”

“Keira will be so disappointed that this very important event is not on your social calendar,” Heather teased.

John's grin settled into her soul. She drew in a slow, deep breath and then took a step closer and brushed a kiss over his cheek. He smelled of soap and horses and the outdoors.

He smelled like John.

“Do you need breakfast?” she asked as she stepped back, a sudden blush warming her own cheeks.

“I'll just grab some juice and an apple,” he said, giving her a warm smile. “I'm not really that hungry.”

“Are you sure? You're not going to get better if you don't eat.”

John's expression grew serious and he cupped her jaw with a callused palm. “I feel better already.”

Their eyes held a moment, then Adana tried to wriggle free, making her presence known. “Go 'side,” she insisted.

“I guess her majesty is letting us know what she wants,” Heather said, jiggling her. “Give me a few moments to change her, get a diaper bag together and make up a grocery list, then we can go.”

“I can change her,” John said, reaching out to take his daughter.

“That's okay. I know where everything is. I don't mind.”

John looked at her as if to make sure, then gave her another one of his slow-release smiles that could always melt her heart, and stepped back. “I'll gas up the truck and meet you outside.”

Fifteen minutes later Adana was safely buckled in her car seat and Heather was buckling up herself. “Can we stop at the mechanic and check on my car?” she asked as John turned the ignition on the truck. “The last time I talked to Alan, he still hadn't received the part, but he said he hoped it would be in this week.”

“Of course. Hopefully, it will be ready soon.”

Heather nodded. The outside world was intruding into this little bubble she and John seemed to have created in the past few days. Her thoughts shifted to the phone call offering her an interview.

She glanced at John, who was looking ahead as he drove from the ranch, to Adana, who was watching her as if curious about her decision. Could Heather dare think that things had progressed so far between her and John that she could change her plans?

A shiver of fear ran through her even as the idea created anticipation. Both Mitch and her mother had taught her hard lessons on taking care of herself. The importance of not being dependent in anyone.

But Monty and Ellen had shown her how life in a family and a community worked. How people could help you. Support you.

And John? Where did he fall?

“So, where in town did you want to go first?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

“Doesn't matter,” she said. “Why don't you do what you need to first, so we can get groceries just before we leave.”

“And we can hurry home if you buy ice cream,” he joked.

Heather laughed. “I remember many a rushed trip back from town on hot summer days, with a pail of ice cream sitting in the back of the truck melting. Mom always said she wasn't going to buy ice cream, but gave in when Lee would turn his big brown eyes on her.”

“He had even more pull than you did,” John said with a laugh.

Heather grew serious again, thinking of her brother, now away from the ranch. “I hope he's doing okay. I heard he didn't come back for Thanksgiving or Christmas.”

“You're not the only prodigal child,” John said quietly.

“I'm sure it's been hard for Mom and Dad,” Heather said. “Having kids leave and not come back.”

“We certainly can't plan our children's lives,” John stated.

Heather nodded, glancing over at Adana. “It's different when you're a parent, isn't it? You're pretty vulnerable. They hold so much of your heart.”

The two-year-old was staring straight ahead, as if lost in her own little world. Feeling a slow swirl of love, Heather put her hand on the little girl's leg, her fingers brushing John's in the process, creating a connection between them, as if completing a circle.

He twined his fingers through hers and squeezed gently. “I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry it's hard to be around Adana.”

Heather shook her head. “It isn't. Not anymore. She's so precious.”

“That means a lot to me. That you feel that way about her.”

“It's not hard to,” Heather said, gazing down at Adana who, at that precise moment, looked up at her and grinned. “Yes. I'm talking about you,” she said with a gentle laugh, touching her chubby cheek.

This little girl had wormed herself into her heart. A heart that her father seemed to be making inroads on himself.

But could she open herself up to him again, make herself vulnerable?

And would he do the same?

* * *

“Are you ready for some coffee and pie?” John asked as he drove past the park with its white gazebo and onto Main Street. The trees were still bare, but the park grass was slightly green. A promise of summer coming.

“We may as well. The mechanic won't be open until after lunch.”

“And we haven't bought your ice cream yet,” John said as he parked his truck. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and glanced over at Heather who was already unbuckling Adana from the car seat between them.

Heather's quick laugh brushed, featherlight, over his soul. It was a good sound. One he hadn't thought he'd ever hear again. “I haven't had ice cream in ages,” she admitted.

“I don't imagine it's on the menu for models,” he said with a grin as he reached for Adana.

But the fickle child twisted away from him. “No. Go wif Hevver,” she insisted.

“Sorry,” Heather said, but as she took the little girl in her arms, John could see that she didn't mind at all. So he grabbed the diaper bag, feeling a bit like a porter.

“Town is busy today,” he said, slipping the bag over his arm as they walked down the street.

“It's the sunshine,” Heather said, lifting her face to the bluebird sky. “Makes everyone want to get outside.”

“Enjoy it while you can. There's rain in the forecast.”

“Springtime in Montana,” Heather murmured. She sighed happily as she looked around town. “I missed this place,” she said. “I missed the brick buildings and the wide streets and knowing half the people here.”

“There's brick buildings in New York,” John teased.

“Forty stories tall,” Heather returned. She nodded at a woman who smiled at them, and for a moment John wondered how they looked to passersby. A man and a woman with a little girl.

A family unit.

A bite of sorrow hit him suddenly. He and Sandy had never shared moments like these. She hadn't had the joy of seeing Adana change and grow.

“You okay?” Heather asked. “You want to go home? You look a little peaked.”

“I'm fine.”

“Are you sure?” she pressed.

John held her concerned look, thinking of what she had told him. How it had made him feel connected to her. He could do no less.

“To tell you the truth, I'm thinking of Sandy right now. How she never got to hold Adana like you are now.”

Heather stopped in her tracks, looking upset as she tried to give Adana back to him. “Oh, no. I didn't mean to take her place. It's just Adana...”

John dropped a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Sorry. I was just sharing my thoughts. Kind of like you did.” He shrugged, feeling as if he had messed things up. “Sandy always told me I needed to be more diplomatic.”

Heather held his gaze, then her smile broke out again. “That's okay.” She looked from him to Adana. “I guess it's just a little tricky yet. For both of us.”

John thought of Monty's veiled warning, and the possible repercussions of what he knew was growing between him and Heather. For now, he simply had to let things go.