Revelations of the Night Before (11 page)

He stared at her for a long minute, his eyes flashing with pain. And then he swore as he took a step backward. “Just go, Tina. Leave me alone. I’ll get over it soon enough.”

Tina was sitting on the terrace with a cup of tea and her phone, texting Faith and pretending that everything was well. Faith sent pictures of Renzo and baby Domenico that caught at Tina’s heart and made her ache with longing for what they had.

She didn’t know if she and Nico would ever have that, but she could hope. Though it seemed a somewhat futile hope at the moment, she had to admit.

She felt guilty sending texts back and forth with no mention of her pregnancy and marriage, but it was clear that her brother didn’t yet know. Thankfully. She couldn’t imagine how angry he would be when he did, but she was certain it was going to be bad.

Faith had asked her to fly out and join them, but Tina refused, saying she and Lucia had plans to go to Tenerife. She felt bad telling a lie, but sending a text with the truth wasn’t quite how she envisioned breaking the news to her family.

Finally, the texts ended and she sat and looked at the dome of St. Peter’s in the distance. The bells sounded the hour while below the apartment she could hear the traffic whizzing by and the occasional shouts of people greeting or cursing each other in the street.

Rome was always bustling with activity. She loved the city, but right now she felt as if she would like to
be somewhere quieter, more placid. Castello di Casari. She could still picture the beauty of that pergola—and the look in Nico’s eyes when he’d got down on one knee to propose. It hadn’t been real in the sense that they’d been in love, but he sure had made her believe for a second there.

“Tina.”

She turned toward his voice. He stood in the terrace doors, watching her. His hands were in his pockets, his shoulder leaning against the door frame. He looked delicious, as always, and a tiny thrill flared to life in her belly. He was wearing a white shirt, unbuttoned to show a slice of skin, and a pair of faded jeans with loafers.

He walked over to her and stood beside her chair, not looking at her, but gazing out at the city lights. She wanted to twine her hand in his and press it to her cheek.
Love
, a voice whispered.
You love him
.

No, not love. Sympathy.

“Finish your work?” she asked brightly. She would not let him see how much he’d hurt her by shutting her out earlier.

He pulled a chair out and sat across from her.
“Sì.”
He didn’t say anything for a long minute. And then he pulled a small box from his pocket and set it on the table between them. When she didn’t say anything, he pushed it toward her.

Her heart began to thrum. “What’s this?” She took the velvet box, but she didn’t open it.

“An apology,” he said. “And something I neglected to do.”

She popped the top open and stared. The diamond inside caught the light and refracted it, sparkling in the Roman dusk. It was at least six carats, she decided.
And it was surrounded by yet more diamonds. A very expensive and elegant ring.

“It’s beautiful.” It was true, and it made her heart ache. Perversely, she wanted it to mean something to him. But it didn’t. He’d bought her a ring and now he was giving it to her along with an apology. As if the way to make up for not trusting her enough to talk to her was to buy her things.

Silly, silly Tina
. But what had she expected?

He took the box from her and removed the ring. Then he slipped it onto her hand and she pulled it closer, turning her hand this way and that to catch the light.

“If you don’t like it, you can pick something else.”

She shook her head. The ring was gorgeous, and definitely something she would have chosen for herself. It wasn’t modest or understated, but it wasn’t gaudy, either. It was elegant, the kind of jewelry worn by a marchesa.

“Thank you,” she said, keeping her eyes downcast so he wouldn’t see the hint of sadness in them. He’d given her a wedding ring, but it didn’t feel as if it meant anything to him. It was just one more thing to check off his list of things to do. And a way to soothe any hurt she might be feeling over the way he’d treated her earlier.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he said, as if on cue.

“You were upset.”

“Nevertheless, it was not your fault.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” She shrugged and played with her phone where it sat on the table. “Who am I to give advice? I’m pregnant and married and I still haven’t told my family. Until I solve my problems, I probably shouldn’t attempt to give advice on yours.”

“Your family loves you, Tina. Renzo loves you. He’s going to be angry, not because of what you’ve done,
but because of who you’ve done it with. But he won’t stop loving you.”

It was her turn to be taken aback. “I’m sorry, but I don’t see how you can possibly know that. He hates you, and I’ve betrayed him.” She shook her head. “No, I don’t think he’ll stop loving me. But he won’t want to see me.”

He blew out a breath. “Why did you tell me about the baby? You didn’t have to. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have to worry about what happens next.”

The lump in her throat hurt, but she swallowed it down. “I can’t believe you’re asking me this when you wouldn’t talk to me earlier.” She spread her hands on the table, shaking her head. “But I’ll tell you. I’ll prove that you
can
talk about the things that bother you and the world won’t end if you do. I told you about the baby because I grew up without a father. I always wanted to know who he was, but my mother wouldn’t tell me. And I was determined that wouldn’t happen to this child. I didn’t expect you’d insist on getting married, however.”

His eyes flashed. “No, you thought we’d live separate lives and I’d come visit the baby from time to time. When it was convenient, of course. And only so long as your brother didn’t decide to prevent it.”

She wanted to deny it, but the truth was that’s exactly what she’d thought. She’d thought it would be so easy, that she would tell him she was pregnant, tell him she wanted nothing from him, and they’d arrange civilized visitation as the baby grew. She’d known Renzo wouldn’t approve, but she’d intended to put her foot down.

She dropped her gaze from Nico’s. “I won’t deny it,” she said. “I truthfully didn’t think you’d be interested
in being a father. I had hoped you would want to be a part of the baby’s life, but I didn’t expect it.”

“I’d ask what gave you that idea, but I’m sure I can guess.”

They both knew he’d been quite a fixture in the tabloids over the years. “You haven’t exactly had any long-term relationships.”

“In my experience, they don’t work out.”

A pinprick of pain throbbed in her heart. “Is that from personal experience or from observation? Because I’d say the two are not interchangeable.”

He looked resigned for a moment. Uncertain. But then his expression hardened again. “My parents have rather warped my view of what a marriage is supposed to be.”

“They are only two people,” she said. “They don’t represent everyone.” She didn’t even want to think about how his views impacted
their
marriage.

He shook his head. “Nevertheless, they are what I grew up with. They should have divorced years ago, but they stayed together instead and made each other miserable.”

“And you,” she added softly.

She expected he’d grow angry but he only ran his palms over his face before spearing her with a glare. “And me. Yes, they made me miserable. They still do.”

“Why did you marry me, Nico?” She had to ask, in light of what he’d said about his parents’ marriage.

He looked away, as if he couldn’t quite face her at that moment. “You know why.”

“Yes, I suppose I do. But what happens after the baby is born?”

He shrugged. “We take it a day at a time, Tina. I can promise you I won’t ever let this child feel the way I felt.
And I’m confident you won’t, either. We’ll figure something out, and we’ll be far better parents than I had.”

Her heart thumped. He was actually talking to her, though she didn’t know for how long. “I appreciate that. And I think I understand now.”

“Understand what?”

She shrugged self-consciously. “You looked uncomfortable when Giuseppe expressed his sympathies for your father’s death, and later, when I did, as if you didn’t want them but felt you had to accept them anyway.”

He didn’t say anything for a long minute. He just stared at her, his nostrils flaring as if he were holding in a great deal of emotion. “The truth is that I despised him. But not always. I worshipped him for years, craved his affection—yes, even beyond my mother’s. She’s right about that. I did side with him when I grew older. She was so … bitchy and petty, while he seemed regal, controlled. But I soon realized he only cared about himself.”

Tears sheened her eyes. She didn’t care if he saw them. She reached for his hand, squeezed it tight. “I’m sorry, Nico.”

He didn’t jerk his hand from hers. Instead, he squeezed their palms together. “I wanted what you had,” he said, the words almost choked from him. “I came to your place so often because I wanted to be a part of what your family had together. Your mother is kind, accepting. I loved sitting at the kitchen table with all of you and eating dinner. It felt far more real than anything else in my life at that time.”

“I loved having you there,” she admitted. “I think we all did. Renzo looked upon you like a brother.”

He pulled his hand away then, and she regretted the
impulse to say such a thing. But it had been the truth. He and Renzo had been so close, and now they weren’t.

And now he was closing up again. Closing in on himself like an exquisite flower that only bloomed for a few hours and then shut the world out once more.

“It was a long time ago,” he said stiffly.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “It could be that way again. If only you and Renzo would talk—”

“Maledizione,”
he swore, rocketing to his feet, his entire body vibrating with anger. She could only stare up at him in shocked fascination. “Don’t you understand? I am a Gavretti. I ruin everything I touch.”

He turned and stalked inside while she sat helplessly and stared at the suddenly shimmering dome of St. Peter’s in the distance.

Not
everything
, she hoped.

W
HY
had he told her those things? Nico paced inside the darkened study, angry with himself for letting her see that far into him. He hated being vulnerable. He’d sworn to himself, when he’d been eight years old and crying because his mother wouldn’t let him come home on a school break, that he would never let anyone see how much he hurt ever again.

It was about survival. About appearing strong and self-sufficient. The world couldn’t exploit what it didn’t know. If he appeared strong, then he was strong.

Nico swore softly. He could see her through the window, sitting there on the terrace and not moving. The ring he’d given her sparkled in the lights, drawing his attention.

She sat so still. He wondered what she was thinking. He had an insane urge to go to her, to pull her into his arms and tell her—once more—that he was sorry. What was wrong with him? Why was he feeling soft when it came to her?

Dio
, he’d already revealed things to her that he should not. He’d opened up a window into his soul when he’d told her how he felt about his parents.

And then, to compound his mistake, he’d admitted to her what her family had meant to him. How he’d been
desperate to sit in their warm glow and just soak it up as if he belonged.

He’d been pitiful, like a starving dog staring into the back door of a restaurant, hoping for a few scraps to come his way. He, a Gavretti, the heir to an ancient title and estates around the world, had envied the humble home of the D’Angelis. He’d wanted to be one of them much more than he’d wanted to be Niccolo Gavretti.

But of course he hadn’t belonged. It had taken almost two years, but he’d found that out the hard way. He’d told her he ruined everything he touched—and it was true. He and Renzo had been friends, working together on a project that meant everything to Renzo’s future, and Nico had screwed it up.

He’d taken that feeling of belonging and thrown it back in their faces as if it had meant nothing. That’s not at all what he’d intended when he’d gone to his father, but it’s what had happened nevertheless. And he’d been powerless to stop it. Worse, he’d been complicit when he’d eventually done what his father had demanded of him.

She would hate him if she knew what he’d done. If she knew that he was directly responsible for Renzo’s setback in the first year, that he had as good as reneged on his word, she would despise him. Even a baby wouldn’t change that.

For the first time, he couldn’t bear the thought of her knowing. Of her hating him. He’d forced her into this marriage with threats to her family because he’d believed marrying her was a shrewd move, as well as the right thing for the child, and he’d done it all without a care for how she felt about him.

Now he couldn’t bear the idea she would hate him. God, what was wrong with him?

Nico stood with his fists clenched at his side and watched her through the window. Was she angry? Was she crying? He was on edge watching her. A sliver of desperation curled around his heart. He wanted to go outside and gather her in his arms, and then he wanted to take her to bed and pretend this had never happened. That he’d never spoken to her of his love-starved childhood and that he’d never let her know what her family had meant to him.

Because when she learned the truth, when she hated him and wanted out of this marriage, she would know how much he’d once cared about the D’Angelis. And she would pity him for it.

Dio
, he was screwing this up in so many ways. He refused to have a marriage like his parents had had—a cold, bitter, soul-destroying relationship that had warped not only their lives but his as well—and yet he’d set himself up for it when he’d insisted on marrying the sister of the man he’d betrayed.

He wanted to go to her. He wanted to take her to bed and see her eyes darken with passion, wanted to hear her soft cries as he took them both over the edge of control, and then he wanted to lie beside her and go to sleep with her body tucked into the curve of his.

She fit there so perfectly. He loved resting his hand on her belly. It was far too early in the pregnancy to feel anything, but he liked knowing that his child nestled beneath his hand. He felt a connection there, something he’d never felt with another person, and he liked the way it made him feel inside.

Tina stood up then. Her beautiful body was outlined against the light, so lush and curvy that it made him ache just to look at her. Then she turned and came back inside. He held his breath for a long moment, hoping
she would come into the office and challenge him, that she would put her arms around him and tell him she wanted him.

But she kept walking, down the hall and into the bedroom. He did not go after her.

“We’re returning to Castello di Casari,” Nico said, and Tina looked up from where she sat with her computer open on the couch. She’d been engaging in some light trading this morning, moving funds around and diversifying into a few tech stocks that she thought were poised for growth.

The financial papers were at her side, but she’d not read them yet. She usually liked to read them over breakfast, but she’d been too preoccupied. Even now, thoughts of last night warmed her cheeks and made her squirm in her seat.

Nico had come to bed late last night, slipping in beside her and lying on his back with an arm behind his head.

She’d pretended to be asleep, though she’d hoped he might reach for her anyway. He did not, so she’d turned toward him and put a hand on his chest. He still didn’t reach for her, so she sidled closer and ran her palm down his flat abdomen.

He’d shuddered beneath her touch. And then he’d turned to her as if she’d flipped a switch inside him and tugged her into his arms.

“Tina,” he’d groaned into her neck. “Tina.”

She’d spread her hands on the hot, silky skin of his back. “Make love to me, Nico. Please. I want you so much.”

What followed had been the most intense lovemaking between them yet. He’d worshipped her body reverently,
as if he’d had forever to do so. As if they were suspended in time and the only thing that mattered was the two of them. He’d kissed his way down her torso, and then slid his tongue between her folds, swirling and sucking her clitoris until she came apart with a cry.

He did it again and again, until she’d begged him to join his body with hers and end the torture. He’d slid inside her, his body hard and strong, filling her so exquisitely. She’d thought she’d felt it all with him, but she’d realized in that moment she hadn’t.

Because it felt different when you realized you really were in love with the man whose body knew yours so perfectly. But perhaps
different
was the wrong word. It felt like something …
more
.

More intense, more thrilling. More heartbreaking. Especially when the man you loved did not love you.

Tina gave herself a mental shake as she looked up at him now, her heart aching for him. How had she let it happen? How had she fallen in love with him between one breath and the next?

She’d thought she’d been on her guard, thought she’d been in control. She hadn’t.

“I’d like that,” she said in answer to his announcement. “I didn’t get to explore it quite enough the last time.”

Besides, there were shadows under his eyes and she worried that he’d been working too hard. It would be good to go somewhere more remote and peaceful. Somewhere that she wouldn’t be worried about her brother showing up unannounced and having a meltdown.

“I’ve finished what I needed to do in Rome. We’ll leave after lunch.”

Tina was busy for the rest of the morning, packing
and getting ready to leave the city. She texted Lucia, who wished her a
buon viaggio
and told her to call every day, and then they were on their way.

This time when the helicopter swooped over the mountains and headed down to the imposing castle sitting in the lake, Tina paid attention to everything she had not before. The water was crystalline blue, turquoise in places, from the melt waters that came down out of the mountains and fed the lake.

Today, the sky was clear. Sailboats and motorboats dotted the lake. People sunned themselves on yachts, looking up with hands shading their eyes as the helicopter passed overhead.

“What a beautiful place,” she said. “How they must envy you coming into the manor in the lake.”

He laughed. “Perhaps they do. I’ve often thought we should open to tourists, but that was before I married you. Now I think we will keep the castle as our own private refuge from the world.”

She liked the sound of that, though she felt slightly sorry for the tourists who would never get to visit. On the other hand, there were plenty of other tourist attractions nearby.

But even better, she liked that he’d said it would be
their
private refuge.

She turned her head to look out the window as the craft began its descent onto the helipad. The emotions whirling inside her were almost too much, and she was afraid that if he looked at her she would cry.

She desperately wanted to grab his hand, hold it to her cheek and tell him she loved him.

Instead, she swallowed the impulse and waved as she saw Giuseppe. He stood at the edge of the landing pad, his hair whipping in the breeze from the rotors even
though he had very little of it. Behind him, several staff members waited, no doubt to help with the luggage.

Giuseppe waved back, and she smiled to herself, suddenly sure that it wasn’t the most dignified thing in the world for him to do but that he’d done it for her.

“My lady,” he said, bowing over her hand when they’d alighted from the helicopter and moved away from the rotors. “Congratulations on your marriage, and welcome once again to Castello di Casari. This time, you are her mistress and she is happy to have you.”

“Thank you, Giuseppe,” she said, smiling happily. Her world wasn’t perfect, that was certain, but it had been a pretty good day thus far.

Nico put his arm around her and pulled her into the curve of his body. She wanted to turn into him, tuck her cheek against his chest and breathe him in.

Giuseppe grinned broadly as his gaze moved between them, and she knew that he’d seen what she couldn’t hide.

“So happy to see a couple so deeply in love,” he effused. “Maybe soon we can hope for the bambino, yes?”

She wasn’t certain how Nico would react to that, but he only smiled and clapped Giuseppe on the shoulder. “Perhaps we can, Giuseppe. I’ll see what I can do.”

The other man laughed, and then they were going down the steps and into the castle the same way they’d gone before. This time, however, Nico took her up the stairs and into his room instead of the adjoining one she’d had the last time.

Once the door closed, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her at the same time he slipped the straps of her dress off her shoulders.

“What are you doing, Nico? They’ll be bringing the
luggage up soon,” she said, laughing as he dipped his lips to her shoulder.

“That’s what locks are for,
cara
. Besides, I did promise Giuseppe I’d get started on the baby making.”

“I think it’s safe to say that task is done,” she replied. His fingers went to her zipper and started sliding it down slowly.

“Just to be certain, I think we should get naked anyway.” He reached behind him and flipped the lock on the door, then picked her up and carried her to the bed. He quickly divested her of her clothes, though he still wore all of his as he hovered over her on his palms. It was rather erotic to feel the scrape of his jeans against her sensitized skin.

“Wait,” she cried as a thought occurred to her.

He looked up, his beautiful stormy-gray eyes hot and intense. “What,
cara
? Do you have a request?”

Now, there was a thought. “No,” she said quickly. “But your father—it, um, it wasn’t this bed, right?”

Nico laughed. “Definitely not. He was in Florence at the time. Besides, I have ordered new mattresses for all the residences.”

“I’m relieved to hear it.”

He bent and licked her nipple, and a shot of liquid desire melted in her core. “Now, about that request,” he murmured. “Tell me what you desire from me, Tina … anything you desire.”

The next few days were glorious. Tina had never been happier. She felt so free, as if she really could be whomever she wanted. As if she truly were bold and brave, and not a cowering mouse deep inside. Nico made her feel that way—as if she could conquer the world and not regret a single moment of it.

Each day, they started with breakfast on the terrace where they laughed and talked and teased each other with hot looks and silly innuendo.

They sometimes went for walks around the garden, or took a swim in the warm pool. Once, they went out in a yacht and floated along the lake’s shore, stopping at one of the towns for lunch and some shopping.

Every night, they stayed up late, making love, watching television, or sitting side by side in the bed and working on their computers. It was domestic and blissful and she looked forward to the days stretching before her so long as they began and ended with Nico.

Today, they’d been swimming when he’d suddenly given her one of those heated looks that she knew preceded an afternoon of hot lovemaking. She hadn’t even pretended not to notice. Instead, she’d climbed out of the pool and toweled off while he’d watched her.

And then she’d told him she’d race him to the bed. She could hear him lifting out of the water behind her as she’d started to run, laughing, but he’d never managed to catch her. She’d made it to the bedroom first, and when he arrived, he’d still had water dripping down his hard, tanned muscles.

He hadn’t even dried off before stripping her bikini and coming down on top of her.

After they made love, she fell into a sound sleep, waking sometime late in the afternoon, her body replete, her skin still glowing and sensitive. She turned toward Nico, but he wasn’t in bed. She frowned as she sat up, yawning and stretching.

She had to stop sleeping in the middle of the day. And she had to tell him to stop letting her do so.

Except that she knew he wouldn’t listen. He’d nod and say of course—but if she slept, he would let her
sleep. Apparently, according to him, the pregnancy website said excessive tiredness was common in the first trimester. Nico was turning into quite the authority on pregnancy, she thought wryly.