Riches of the Heart (16 page)

As he gently entered her, she cried out with joy.

That night, for the first time, Lily slept with a man for love.

The next morning, they awoke early and made love again.

‘What are we going to do, Lily?’

‘About what?’ she whispered, her head buried in his chest.

‘About Fred.’

She froze in his arms. ‘What about Fred?’

He felt the sudden tension in her body. ‘You can’t stay with him, not after last night.’

‘Last night was wonderful, Tom. But it doesn’t change anything.’

He sat up and looked at her as if he couldn’t believe her words. ‘It changes everything.’

Shaking her head she said, ‘Look, Fred took me in when I had nothing and nowhere to go. He looked after me. Now he’s in prison. I promised him I’d be here waiting for him when he came out. And I will be.’

His hazel eyes blazed. ‘So what in Christ’s name was last night all about?’

She stroked his face, and he grabbed hold of her fingers. ‘
Well?
’ he demanded.

‘Last night was about love, lust, total satisfaction of two people who wanted each other and couldn’t deny each other’s needs. Don’t spoil it, Tom.’

He swung his legs off the bed and started to dress. ‘I don’t understand you! I thought you wanted me … for ever. Not just one night.’ He looked at her, anger pouring forth. ‘It seems you’ve made a fool of me again.’

She got out of bed and put on a wrap. ‘No, Tom. I wanted you. I still love you, will always love you, but I can’t just let Fred down. Not now, when he needs me most.’

He pulled her to him roughly, his gaze burning into her. ‘
I
need you. Think about that.’ His kiss was not one of tenderness, it was brutal, and when he let her go, Lily held her fingers to her bruised lips.

At the bedroom door, he turned. ‘You think you can take me into your bed, let me touch you, kiss you, love you – then turn me away? Well, you picked the wrong man. This is not over yet, by a long chalk!’

That weekend, Lily made her debut as a professional singer at The Sailor’s Return. She was sensational. The bar was packed. Apart from the locals, there were many crew members in there off one of the liners that had docked that day. The men had had a good trip and were more than generous when Sandy made his collection. The local prostitutes with their clients were also appreciative. The music had put their punters in a good mood, and money was flowing over the counter.

Declan poured out a free port and lemon for Lily. ‘You can work here on a regular basis,’ he said with a grin.

‘You’ll have to talk with my manager about that,’ she said, with a look of delight in Sandy’s direction.

He hugged her. ‘I told you you were a natural, didn’t I? We’ll do well, you’ll see.’

She smiled when she saw Sandy hurry over to the bar and get into deep conversation with Declan later on that evening. She knew they were talking business. Arranging when she would be able to perform. She was elated.

Sandy was proved correct. As the weeks passed, Lily performed in various pubs around the dock area, and did well, but on Saturday nights, she was booked permanently at Declan’s.

Just as she was preparing to start her programme the following Saturday, who should walk into the bar of The Sailor’s Return but Amy and Tom.

As soon as the girls saw each other, they flung their arms around one another with cries of joy.

‘I couldn’t believe it when Tom told me you were all right.’ Amy stood back from Lily. ‘Look at you – you look marvellous! If only Rachel could see you now.’

Lily’s eyes clouded over. ‘How is Rachel?’

Amy shook her head. ‘She was really cut up about you running off. Blamed her Manny, but didn’t dare tell Tom. He’d have killed him. She kicked Manny out, you know.’

‘Oh no!’ Lily looked shaken. ‘I only ran away so as not to come between mother and son. I had better go and see her.’

With a worried expression, Amy said, ‘I wish you would, Lily. She hasn’t been the same since you left. The spark seems to have gone from her somehow. She wanted you back, you know. Made me hunt for you.’

‘I’m so sorry, Amy. I put you all through so much.’

‘Tom was the one who suffered the most. At one time I feared for his sanity. Are you back together?’

Lily shook her head. ‘You’ll have to come round to the house and I’ll tell you all about it.’

Sandy intervened at this point. ‘Are you working tonight, madam?’

‘Whoops! I’d better go, Amy. I’ll talk to you later.’

When it was time for Lily to sing ‘After You’ve Gone’, she looked over at Tom for the first time. His eyes were on her as she started the number. His expression didn’t change throughout, but his mouth got tighter, and his jawline firmer. Lily knew that she hadn’t shaken loose from him. In her heart she was glad, but she fretted about Fred. He was relying on her.

When she’d finished her routine, Amy beckoned her over. ‘You’re terrific!’ she exclaimed with admiration as Lily sat beside them. ‘Isn’t she, Tom?’

‘Oh yes,’ he replied, ‘Lily is quite a performer. She knows just how to get the heart of an audience and leave them wanting more.’

Lily gave him a sharp look.

When Amy went to the bar for some drinks, Tom caught hold of Lily’s wrist. ‘When are you going to come to your senses?’ he demanded.

‘Don’t start, Tom.’

‘Start! I haven’t even begun. You can’t throw away our future. We belong together. You know we do.’

‘Not any more. When will you accept the fact?’ She got up and left him sitting alone.

The following day, Lily made her way to The Ditches. It was like walking down Memory Lane. Various shopkeepers called out to her as she passed, and she waved back, returning a cheery remark. Ahead of her was Mrs Cohen’s shop. It was open, but Rachel was nowhere to be seen.

Lily paused outside. This was where she’d been most happy after leaving home. She looked at the dresses and suits, still hanging from the rusty struts of the blind. The boxes with the hats … and the shoes. How well she remembered the shoes. She touched them with the tips of her fingers, a smile on her lips. Then she walked into the shop.

Peering into the dark recesses of the shop, Lily called, ‘Rachel! Anybody home?’

A figure shuffled towards her. ‘What is it? Can’t you wait a minute?’

‘Hello, Rachel.’

The Jewess suddenly stopped, looked over her horn-rimmed glasses and in a faltering voice, asked, ‘Lily? Is that really you?’

Tears welled up in Lily’s eyes and her words choked in her throat. She walked over to Rachel and taking her in her arms whispered, ‘Yes, it’s really me.’

The two women clung together without speaking, tears streaming down their cheeks. ‘Oh Rachel, I’m so sorry I ran off like that.’

‘My dearest Lily. I thought I’d never see you again. Let me look at you. Come to the light, I can’t see nothing here.’

Rachel Cohen held Lily at arm’s length, her eyes shining with tears, a happy smile on her lips. ‘How well you look, my dear. So how is life with you?’

Lily was shattered when she got a close look at Rachel. The older woman’s skin was sallow. She’d lost weight and looked ill.

‘Never mind me. How are you, my dear friend?’

Rachel shrugged. ‘What’s to tell? I’m still in business.’ She clutched hold of Lily’s hands. ‘I sent Manny away. It was his fault you ran off like that. I’ll never forgive myself.’

Leading Rachel to a chair, Lily sat close beside her, still holding her hand. ‘I’m sorry you felt you had to do that. I ran off because I didn’t want to come between mother and son.’

Rachel smoothed her cheek. ‘So thoughtful a girl. But tell me, Lily, I have to know. Did he touch you that night?’ She looked haggard with worry.

‘No,’ Lily assured her. ‘He didn’t get the chance. Anyway, he was very drunk.’

With a sly smile on her face Rachel said, ‘But
you
touched
him
. He was still in pain the next morning. I told him you should have cut his balls off.’

Both women collapsed with laughter. Rachel held her side. ‘Ay yi, I have the stitch. I ain’t laughed so much since you left. Oh Lily, it’s good to see you.’

‘Where is Manny now?’

‘In London – Golders Green, where he’s having to really work for his living.’ She grinned wickedly. ‘Do him good. I should have done it years ago. I don’t see him – I have no more a son.’

Lily was filled with sadness at such an outcome. ‘I’m so sorry. I feel it was all my fault.’

‘Look, my girl, it was no one’s fault but his. He’s no good. Never has been. Ach, he’s no great loss. Now, have you seen Tom?’

The laughter stilled as she said, ‘Oh yes, I’ve seen him.’

‘And? You still together?’

Shaking her head, Lily said, ‘No. I’m with another man and Tom’s engaged to some woman.’

‘
Oy vey!
Such a waste. Never have I seen two people more suited. Can’t you do nothing?’

Lily shook her head. ‘I’m afraid it’s too late for that.’

‘You listen to me, girl. Don’t you let your happiness slip away without a fight. He’ll want you back.’

With a sigh Lily said, ‘He does, but I’ve promised I’ll stand by Fred. He was good to me, Rachel. He gave me a roof, kindness, love. I can’t dump him.’

‘Pity. Such a pity. Will you come and visit with me again?’

With a fond smile Lily said, ‘I certainly will.’ Then with a wide grin, she added, ‘I still owe you a quid out of my wages.’

Laughing, Rachel said, ‘The debt is cancelled.’

‘What? Rachel Cohen letting someone get away with a debt? My, I never thought I’d live to see the day.’

‘Don’t you go spreading the word. Anyway, who would believe it?’

Looking at Rachel intently, Lily asked, ‘And you, are you well? You look a bit pale to me.’

‘My life! I don’t see you in months and you start fussing. Me … I’m just fine. Getting old is all. So you – are you working?’

With a gleeful look on her face, Lily said, ‘I’m a singer round the pubs. I really like it and I’m making money.’

‘
Mazel tov!
Some night I’ll come and see you for myself.’ Hugging Lily to her, Rachel said, ‘Now don’t forget me, eh? Your old Yiddisher momma.’

Gazing fondly at the older woman, Lily said, ‘I could never do that. The happiest time of my whole life was here with you.’

‘Me too,’ said Rachel.

‘Why don’t you come to The Sailor’s Return?’ Lily suggested. ‘I sing there every Saturday night. We’ll have a party.’

Rachel beamed with happiness. ‘Yes, I’ll come. It’ll be a change.’ Shaking her head she said, ‘Lily, Lily. It does my eyes good to see you.’

The following Saturday night Lily was delighted when the bar door of The Sailor’s Return opened and Rachel walked in. She rushed over to her. ‘My dear, how smart you look.’

The Jewess was wearing a green coat and matching felt cloche hat, with a splendid pair of fox furs around her shoulders. She tossed her head somewhat arrogantly and said, ‘I’ve got some decent
schmatte
for special occasions and this is one, ain’t it?’

Lily hugged her and laughed. ‘Indeed it is. Come and meet my friends.’ She introduced Rachel to Declan, who shook her hand, then to Sandy, who bowed gracefully.

Rachel raised her eyebrows in Lily’s direction. ‘Such fine men you know.’ She gave a sly smile and said to Sandy, ‘But in your case …’

Sandy burst out laughing. ‘Now don’t get naughty, darling. Come and sit down. What’ll you have to drink?’

It was a great evening. Lily sang her heart out and Rachel, topped up with gin, danced a strange kind of Irish gig with Declan.

Amy arrived in the midst of the celebrations and after a few drinks, she and Sandy demonstrated their own hilarious version of the Tango, the new dance which was all the rage. The rest of the customers were soon carried away with the festive spirit that filled the bar, and sang at the top of their voices, as Sandy played all the popular songs of the day.

Lily was so happy, here with her dearest friends around her, and was thrilled to see Rachel having such good fun. When it was closing time, they all declared it had been a night to remember.

Fred Bates stood waiting patiently for the warder to release him from prison. With the heavy door finally unlocked, the warder stood back.

‘Don’t worry, Bates. We’ll keep your cell warm. By the time we’ve changed the bedding, you’ll be back.’

‘Piss off! You rotten screws are all the same.’ Fred stepped through the opening and wrapped his muffler around his scrawny neck, clutching his meagre belongings in a brown paper parcel, tied up with string. ‘This is the last time you’ll see me.’

‘They all say that, Bates. But most of them come back.’

Fred heard the door clang behind him. The sound always made him feel sick to his stomach. This time he meant what he said. He’d spent too many years banged up and it was getting harder to survive inside. His cough was no better either. It kept him and his cell-mates awake at night, which had caused even further trouble.

His thoughts were all of Lily and how badly he’d let her down. She’d written to him, telling how well she was doing. He’d worried that she would be forced back on the streets; he would never have been able to forgive himself if this had been so. He felt such a failure. Looking at the paper parcel he thought it just about summed up his life. But it seemed from Lily’s letters she was doing fine, and she had sent him the money for the train fare home. He couldn’t wait to see her.

Taking in a deep breath of air, he wondered wryly how it could smell so sweet from this side of the prison walls, when in the exercise yard it smelt quite different.

He took a packet of Woodbines from his pocket and lit one, inhaling deeply. It made him cough violently for a moment, but nevertheless the nicotine tasted good. All he needed now was a pint of beer. As soon as he got back to Southampton he would have one, before going home.

The lunch-time trade was busy. Declan looked at his watch, thankful he’d be able to call last orders soon. Tom was standing at the counter talking to him when the bar door opened. ‘He’s just made it,’ remarked Declan.

Tom looked round and frowned when he recognised Fred Bates. But he was shocked as Fred walked over to them. His build was naturally slim, but now he looked like a bag of bones, and his prison pallor didn’t help.