had a doctor’s appointment this morning and that’s why I’m late. I just wanted to stop by and
mention this so it doesn’t go on my record.” While he said this, it occurred to him how utterly ridiculous it was to be judged for being less than two hours late. Up until now, his attendance
record had been perfect. Nurse Cunt had to see this and spare him some compassion.
Without looking up, Nurse Cunt said, “I’ll need to see a doctor’s excuse.”
Ricky smiled. “Here’s the thing, Nurse Riley. I don’t have a doctor’s excuse. I forgot to
get one. By the time I remembered it was too late. I didn’t want to miss any more school by
going back to get one.” He tilted his head and smiled. He tapped the counter and said, “I’m so
sorry. I should have thought about it ahead of time. Can’t you please give me a break?” He
figured humility and begging couldn’t hurt. There had to be a heart somewhere in the depths of
Nurse Cunt’s walrus shaped body.
Nurse Cunt looked up from the counter and stared him down. With a doomed expression
and a wrecked voice, she raised one eyebrow and said, “Sorry, not without a written doctor’s
excuse. You
will
be marked late.” Then, as if she were enjoying this, her wrinkled lips parted and
gave way into what could have been mistaken for a smile.
“But if I’m marked late it will ruin my record. I won’t get into the school my parents
want me to attend and my life will be ruined.”
[M2]
She smiled wider. “Not without a written excuse.” Then she turned her back on him and
crossed to the other side of the counter to help a young woman who had just entered the office,
dismissing him as if he were nothing more than a piece of trash on the side of the road.
Ricky’s face became warm and his heart started beating faster. He ran his palm through
his hair and tapped the counter. This would ruin him. Being late would be a mark on his record
he’d never overcome. So he walked up to the young woman, gently pushed her aside, and looked
into Nurse Cunt’s heavily bagged eyes again. “Look, all I need is just this one favor. Please help me out. I wasn’t telling the truth before.” He shrugged his shoulders and sent her his most
endearing smile.
Nurse Cunt smiled and adjusted the collar on her white nurse’s uniform, as if she knew
she had him where she wanted him. Ah well, the old bitch was enjoying this.
“I was actually at the car dealership this morning, because last night my father’s car went
into Lake Rogerine at the yacht club and I had to see about getting it fixed. It’s my father’s pride
and joy. I had to deal with it, and that’s why I was late this morning.”
Nurse Cunt frowned. She lifted her right arm, sent him a blank, unforgiving stare, and
trilled her fingers.
“Why can’t you do this just once? I’m not asking for the world. Just a little slack.”
She smiled and trilled her fingers again.
When Ricky saw he wasn’t making any progress and that she was about to turn her back
on him, he clenched his teeth and leaned forward. He grabbed her by her starched white collar
and said, “Look, lady, I have a perfect attendance record, and I’m not going to let you screw up
my entire future. I’ve spent four years here breaking my ass in this fucking hole working hard to
be the perfect student.” He took a deep breath and slightly released his grip on her collar. “I’m
sorry for being so insistent,
Nurse Cunt
, but I’m not going to leave until you give me a little
consideration.”
When Nurse Cunt’s lips tightened and she sent him a seething glare, he knew it wasn’t a
good sign. When he put her hands on her wide hips, looked down at the way he was holding her
collar, gritted her teeth, and said, “Let go of me,
pal
,” it felt as if someone had whacked him in
the stomach with a baseball bat.
Chapter Thirteen
By the time Ricky was released from the principal’s office, it was almost noon. He’d
spent the rest of the morning there while Nurse Cunt filed a formal complaint against him for
getting in her face. He sat in the principal’s office staring down at his lap as Nurse Cunt went
into an hour-long dissertation about disrespect, student ethics, and the dangers she faced every
day with rowdy, disruptive students. Oh, the things they called her behind her back and the way
they murmured when she walked down the halls. Ricky turned out to be the scapegoat Nurse
Cunt been looking for all year. He’d crossed the line and she was ready to snatch him up as her
sacrifice. Evidently, the students despised her. Among other things, she’d received hate letters in
the mail, bags of dog feces in her office, and her tires had been deflated six times by students
who wanted to get even with her. She sat across from the principal with a lugubrious expression
and tears in her eyes, explaining how poorly she had been treated. But every so often, when the
principal turned his head, she’d send Ricky a glance and a smile so he’d know exactly what she
was doing.
After the principal listened to Nurse Cunt’s endless tirade, he asked Ricky if he had
anything to say. Although Ricky wanted to club Nurse Cunt, he smiled, lowered his eyes, and
said, “I’m just sorry poor Nurse Riley has to deal with all this disrespect. And I’m so sorry for
losing control this morning. I never meant any harm, I really didn’t.” He sent Nurse Cunt an
insincere smile, with quick wink the principal couldn’t see. “And if there’s anything I can do to
make it up to Nurse Riley, I’ll be more than happy to oblige.” He looked her in the eye, then moved forward and reached for her bony, spotted hand. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me. You
deserve better than this.”
The principal took his immaculate record and his good grades into consideration. But he
couldn’t ignore the event without handing out sufficient punishment. So he gave Ricky out-of
school suspension for the rest of the week and asked Ricky to write a formal written apology to
Nurse Cunt. Then he removed Ricky from the Entrepreneurial Project as well. Ricky was too
exhausted to argue and he knew the principal was going easy on him. He also knew he’d been
wrong to lose control and grab Nurse Cunt’s collar the way he had. He thanked the principal and
told Nurse Cunt he’d get a letter to her before the end of the week. Then he walked out of the
office with his head down and his shoulders slumped.
When Ricky went outside, he wasn’t sure which way to turn. Leyland was locking up his
bicycle beside a long row of other bikes out front. He looked up at Ricky and said, “I heard about
the suspension and your getting kicked out of the project. I’m sorry.”
Ricky frowned. “You heard about it already?”
“It’s all over school,” Leyland said. “I got a call from Glen on my cell phone a minute
ago. Glen has a friend who works in the principal’s office.” He stood up and patted Ricky’s back.
“Are you okay, man?”
Ricky didn’t know how to answer. He nodded and said, “I’m fine.” But he felt numb all
over, and his brain had turned to mush. He’d never been reprimanded, scolded, or suspended
from anything in his life. As a child, he’d always received A’s in conduct. He’d always been
known as the strait-laced type who was that rare combination of school jock and academic
overachiever. Getting suspended for one week and being kicked out of the project would blemish his academic career forever. If he’d ever had slight a chance of getting into an Ivy League school,
it was finished now. And so was his life.
Then JC and Glen pulled up on their bikes and tried to console him. JC patted his back
and said, “I’m sorry, buddy.” Glen looked down at his shoes and said, “If you need anything,
man, I’m here.”
But all Ricky wanted to do was get away from school as fast as possible. He experienced
a sense of urgency that caused his heart to start racing out of control. He grabbed Leyland’s bike
and said, “Can I borrow this?”
Leyland said, “You want my bike? How will I get home?”
Glen punched Leyland and said, “He wants to borrow your bike, asshole. Let him have
it.”
Leyland blinked, then lifted the bike and handed it to Ricky without saying a word.
Ricky didn’t even thank him. He took the bike, jumped onto the seat, and raced away
from the school grounds as though he were being chased down the street. For the next six hours,
he pedaled aimlessly through streets he’d never known. He sped down Route 46, past Dick’s
Diner, ignoring the honking cars. He rode up steep hills in Denville, cruised down more steep
hills in Rockaway, and circled the Rockaway Townsquare Mall twenty-seven times. After that,
he rode down Route 10 to the old Sussex Turnpike, and into Morristown where he almost ran
over an older man on The Green. He didn’t pay attention to traffic signs or oncoming cars. He
just wanted to drift. He didn’t want to think about the future, getting into college, or how his
parents were going to react to the way he’d screwed up.
At dusk, he managed to get home in one piece. But instead of going into the house like he
should have done, he parked the bike and jumped into his mother’s minivan. Though he was devastated about everything that had happened, he couldn’t stop thinking about Chad. In fact, the
more he tried to forget about Chad, the more he wanted to see him and be with him. There were
times the sensations were so strong he could actually smell and taste Chad.
So he drove into New York and straight to Rocco’s apartment in the East Village. He’d
kept the address in his pocket since Chad had given it to him. He found a parking space two
blocks away and jogged all the way to Rocco’s building. Passersby cursed him for bumping into
their elbows and brushing against their bags. Cars honked when he crossed in front of them. But
he just kept jogging, unaware of anything around him.
Rocco lived on the top floor of a five-story walk-up with bars on the windows and trash
strewn across the front steps. Ricky ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. When he reached
Rocco’s door, he pounded hard with the side of his fist. And when Rocco opened the door in his
boxer shorts, holding a pint of ice cream, Ricky took a quick breath and said, “I need to see
Chad.” He knew his face had to be red. His hair was damp with perspiration and he could smell
his own underarms because he hadn’t showered all day.
Rocco stepped to the side and gestured toward the living room. When Ricky entered, he
saw Chad sitting in a black leather chair near a cloudy, smudged window. He was watching
television and eating ice cream. He was in his underwear: tight olive green boxer briefs and a
white T-shirt. Ricky stopped in the middle of the room and stared at him with a hapless
expression. His legs became wobbly and his hands began to shake.
Chad turned in his direction. He placed the ice cream container on a side table and slowly
stood up from the chair. He looked Ricky up and down, then crossed to where he was standing.
Ricky didn’t speak. He just stood there with slumped shoulders. He spread his arms apart
and shook his head. When Chad took another step forward and wrapped his arms around Ricky’s trembling body, Ricky fell into Chad’s arms and started crying for the first time that day. He
cried for ruining his father’s car and for ruining his chances of getting into an Ivy League school.
He cried for all the things he’d missed during his adolescence because he’d always been so
obedient and willing to please his parents. He cried because he didn’t know who he was anymore
and because he’d been working toward goals he didn’t even care about. And, most of all, he
cried because he was safe now, in Chad’s arms, and he finally felt as if he had one place in the
world to go when he truly needed someone.
While he cried, Rocco stood in the hall watching as Chad caressed the back of his head
and said, “It’s going to be okay, Ricky. I promise.”
* * * *
Rocco wound up sleeping on the sofa, and Ricky and Chad slept in Rocco’s bed. But they
didn’t actually fall asleep until after midnight. After Ricky pulled himself together and
apologized for losing control and crying, Chad took him into the bathroom and drew a hot bath
in Rocco’s old-fashioned ball and claw foot bathtub. While Ricky just stood there staring at the
steam, Chad lit a long row of candles on a shelf above the tub and turned off the lights. Then he
helped Ricky out of his soiled clothes and removed his own underwear. He kissed the top of
Ricky’s head and tested the water to make sure it wasn’t too hot.
When they stepped into the hot, soapy bathwater, Chad sat down first and rested against
