Authors: Selene Chardou
He’d had more than his fair share to drink but he still felt on edge. If Naomi hurried, she’d be rewarded with a lot more than a goodnight kiss. However that never happened. Ronan’s mind cleared from the mess of that day and before he knew it, he was out like a light.
E
ve continued to stare at him with those cold, remorseless hazel-green eyes as he wolfed down a breakfast of steak, eggs over easy and hash browns. Not the most healthiest of choices on the menu but he definitely craved meat that day.
“I’m confused,” their resident Fed continued as she nursed a cup of coffee and a fruit salad. “What exactly does Fernando want to know and why is he so easily willing to give up his nephew? It doesn’t make any sense.”
Ronan chewed and swallowed before he swigged from his orange juice. “How the fuck should I know? I’m just tellin’ ya what has been repeated to me, all right?”
She sipped from a cup of coffee before she shook her head and glanced at him with a look of admonishment and pity. “I assumed you knew but it’s obvious you don’t.”
“Know
what
?”
“It’s not my place to inform you.” Eve stood and threw down a couple twenty-dollar bills. “
What ever
secrets you and Naomi share about her personal life are not mine to divulge. All I will say is that you should make sure you have her absolute trust and the truth before you send her out there into a den of wolves. She’ll come out of this alive—we know that much—but will she be completely unscathed? I don’t know. A more important question is will
you
?”
Ronan glared at the Fed with loathing. “What the hell are you talking about? You haven’t told me shit about what Fernando wants. Why did we meet up at all if you’re just gonna talk in motherfuckin’ riddles? I’m no closer to finding out what the bastard needs to know than I was when you sat the fuck down.”
Even leaned close to him, her hazel-green eyes cold and heartless. “He wants what we can’t
give
him, Ronan. It’s something your old lady knows about but she has not divulged it to you. Not only has she wasted my time but yours as well. When you get home, ask her about it. If she’s honest with you then you know you have a keeper but if she lies to you . . . let the chips fall where they may. As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing worth saving and Fernando can do whatever he likes.”
She breathed softly. “He can’t provide us with anything we don’t already know about. Giving him one shred of information is pointless at this stage in the game.
Aztecas Infierno
is going down—with or without his help. At this juncture, I would be more worried about saving what I loved than helping out a cartel if you know what I mean?”
“Yeah but you’re
speakin
’ in riddles. Naomi doesn’t
know
anything. You think I wouldn’t burn the fuckin’ world down to save her? You’re dead wrong. I would kill, maim, and destroy anyone and anything that tried to come between us. There are no boundaries to what I would or wouldn’t do for her. You got me?”
“Unfortunately, I do.” Eve’s face softened and the contrition she felt was palpable, even to someone like him. “I’ve loved and lost too. My only daughter . . .
and
my son were sacrificed all for this so-called battle of
truth
and
honor
. I’ve given up my whole life for my career so you can’t educate me about love and loss. Been there, done that—hell, I own the goddamn t-shirt.
“Fernando is grasping at straws. His motivations are purely self-serving and completely narcissistic at this point. If you truly want everything to work out for you, the club and Naomi’s career, you would consider the situation in those terms and stop worrying about what we’re going to do to a known criminal organization. They are being investigated under RICO—there’s information that is on a need to know basis—even I’m not privy to
everything
in this case. My superiors aren’t asinine or oblivious to the link that exists between the Lucifer’s Saints and myself.”
Ronan finished his breakfast and stood. “I don’t understand why he would send us on this goose chase. And why is he requesting yet another meeting in a few days?”
They both walked out of the restaurant together in silence.
He strode directly to his Harley and got on as Eve approached him again.
“Fernando is known to enjoy his own personal mind-fucks—if I may be so blunt. Like I have repeatedly stated, talk to Naomi. You two are extremely close, are you not? She’s your old lady and yet, you haven’t put a ring on her finger. You ever wonder why you haven’t proposed? She knows all your secrets and you’ve been candidly honest with her . . . but can you honestly say the same? Has she been completely and utterly honest with you?”
Ronan didn’t bother to answer her question because they both knew the answer even if it remained unspoken.
Naomi was his heart; the one woman he would take a bullet for and not regret it for one second. However, when all was said and done, he didn’t really
know
her. Not really.
Her secrets were an enigma to him; a part of her past she begged him not to ask about with bright eyes, a hot body and downright mind blowing sex. She avoided huge parts of her past with a passion. She didn’t
truly
want him to know all of her.
He realized Eve was right—he didn’t know her nearly as well as she knew him.
And that small piece of the puzzle troubled him more than anything Fernando could ever threaten to do to him or his club.
Chapter Four
Naomi
B
y the time Ronan came back from his meeting with Eve, my heart thundered in my chest and I felt like my whole body was on tenterhooks. He pulled into the compound and backed up his custom, black and silver Harley-Davidson CVO Road Glide Ultra. Usually, he only used it for long hauls when I accompanied him. However, his flashy black CVO Street Glide was still being worked on by one of the Vegas charter’s mechanics due to issues, which had arisen at the last minute.
As he kicked the stand down and turned off the bike, his eyes were unreadable behind a pair of blacker-than-black Ray-Bans. In fact, he seemed beyond pissed off yet he hadn’t acted on his rage yet, and that was a particularly frightening part about the whole situation.
I felt bold as I strode to him. Hardy had a feeling it wouldn’t go well and my breakfast had been one bloody Mary too many. My head swam a bit but in a good way. I wasn’t too drunk I would slur my words but that was no longer my main concern as he ripped off his sunglasses and grabbed me by one of my arms. His grip was forceful though not rough but my nerves were shot to shit.
Had Eve finally told him the truth?
Did he know about Fernando and me?
Our fucked up relationship and how I hadn’t disclosed it to him though he’d kept absolutely no secrets from me. I knew everything about Ronan—he was an open book. Yet parts of my life remained closed off and verboten to even ask about let alone discuss with him.
It was only a matter of time before everything came out but what could I say? I didn’t want to ruin what we had with the awful truth.
Ronan had tried for so long to get with me before I let him in and yet, he thought it was for all the wrong reasons. It wasn’t because of who he was or the MC he belonged to—actually, I didn’t care about any of that shit. I was scared my past would come back to bite me on the ass in a big way and if the glint in his cold violet-blue eyes and the way he manhandled me was any indication, I’d been too right.
God how I wished for once I was wrong.
Why hadn’t I listened to my first mind when it told me we could never work out simply because I didn’t have the capacity to tell him the honest to goodness truth about me? How would a relationship ever flourish based on trust and honesty when I’d never heeded either one of those principles as far as we were concerned?
I hated myself right now because protecting my own ass had been more important than my man and the club. I was a disgrace and once Ronan forced the truth from me, he would deplore me just as much—if not more. I’d knowingly lied to him and damned the consequences because there was always the next day and the next. I’d delayed the truth for as long as I could and now my time had run out.
Time to shit or get off the pot.
“You wanna tell me what’s going on and why you’re manhandling me?” I questioned though there wasn’t a trace of anger or fear in my words.
Ronan whipped me around to face him and my footing faltered though he caught me before I could fall to the ground. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you. It isn’t your fuckin’ fault Ms. Fancy-Foot-Up-Her-Ass FBI Agent won’t give us shit to go on. We’re goin’ into this meeting blind, babe, and that shit scares the ever-loving crap out of me. How can I protect you when I don’t know what to protect you
from
or
who
exactly?”
“Wait,” I began as my mind raced with scenarios and all of them involved a cryptic Eve telling Ronan he would have to ask
me
what was going on.
The guy wasn’t asinine by any stretch of the imagination and although he might have been a biker and one of the crudest people in the world at times, there was a reason why he was Hardy’s second-in-command. He could have been a Fed himself. He knew how to be subtle and non-threatening when he had to be—right before he went in for the kill.
Most of his brothers never saw that side of him but both Hardy and I’d seen plenty. Ronan had begun questioning me and although I was DEA, it’d gone right over my head it was me who was in the hot seat at the moment—not him.
“Eve told you nothing.” It was a statement, not a question; I wanted to take back control if possible but I knew secretly, the battle was lost on my end before it’d officially begun.
He shook his head though his violet-blue eyes never left mine. “All she said was Fernando had his own reasons for requesting a second meeting. Be careful and get all the information we could but we were on our own. The Feds aren’t going to help us, not unless we can come up with intel that aids their RICO case against
Aztecas Infierno
.”
“I don’t understand—they aren’t interested in Carlito at all?”
“It’s not nearly that cut and dry, babe. They can catch him on their own and they don’t need Fernando’s help in that regard. Eve made it clear enough they weren’t sure what would happen as far as he was concerned. Obviously, they’re watching his movements but aren’t goin’ in ’cause he’s not worth it—not right now at least.” Ronan paused as he lit a cigarette and dragged from it hungrily. “What they want is Fernando. All his intel, his computers, the network—everything.”
My fingers pressed against my temples and I tried to think through the haze of early-morning booze. “I’m the only one who can get that intel.”
“‘
Behold, I send you
out as
sheep
in the midst of
wolves
,’ or whatever the fuck that passage in the Bible says.” He pressed his forehead against mine and I could smell the mélange of cologne, cigarettes and leather on his skin. “What the fuck makes you think I’m gonna let you go out there and get what
they
need? You fuckin’ die on me and I got nothin’ left. You’re my world—my
everything—
and yet, they lose nothin’. What am I supposed to do without you,
Nomes
?”
The tears fell from my eyes despite my best effort to stop them. I was supposed to be strong for the both of us because I knew nothing would happen to me. Fernando would never hurt me because he was still in love with me. If anything were to happen, I’d lose Ronan—and so would the club—not the other way around.
Could I honestly live with myself with his blood on my hands? All because I fell for a megalomaniac psycho at the age of seventeen and couldn’t seem to get rid of him once and for all?
“What choice do we have?” I whispered against his lips. “We can’t run. We can’t hide. I want the Feds out of our life—well, as much as we can get rid of them and . . . I don’t want to be an Agent anymore. They’re using it against me. If I don’t comply, it’s not as simple as getting fired from a job, honey. They could charge me with aiding and abetting, trade secret violations . . . the list goes on and on.”
“So I got no fuckin’ say in what happens to you?”
“Not this time.” I bit my lower lip hard enough to draw blood. “Not if we want our happy ending. It’s just how it is, babe. What can we do?”
Ronan stepped back and dragged from his cigarette again. “I’ll tell ya what we can do. I go Nomad. Step down and we just fucking keep driving. We got clubs we know, favors we can do. There are always losers to take out, and shit that needs to be handled under the radar. That’s what we do—we live under the radar for a few years.
Shit’ll
blow over and we can come back.”
“Baby, that’s not how it works, not with the Feds on our ass—”
“Listen, in twelve hours, we can both have passports. We’ll leave the country. We got chapters in Germany and we can work there for a while. Live in Europe, get married,
sprechen
some fuckin’
Deutsch
. . . have kids. We don’t need to be here. We aren’t tied to the States, babe.”
“
Mierda
, no
estás
jodiendo
escucha
! There is nowhere to run. I. Have. No. Place. To. Go.”
My old man stepped back from me. “Holy Christ on the cross. Since when do you know fluent Spanish? I
am
fuckin’ listenin’ to you by the way and I’m tellin’ you we don’t gotta be here to watch all this shit go down. I’m not
losin
’ you to some fucked up Fed case they can make on their own.”
“One of the secrets Eve didn’t inform you about. I’m half-Mexican, Ronan. Both of my
grandfathers
come from Baja California. I didn’t know my maternal grandfather all that well but my paternal grandfather was around a lot. When my mom died, Dad lost it for a while and I was sent to Ensenada for a couple years. I finished my schooling there—graduated high school at sixteen and then I came back to the States,” I explained, trying to swallow the lump in my throat that refused to dislodge itself.
“Ensenada . . . don’t
Aztecas Infierno
have routes and ports there?”
I nodded. “My grandfather owned a boat. It wasn’t a huge boat but he did favors for the cartel to keep the peace. I was his only grandchild and he didn’t want anything to happen to me.”
“You know Fernando in more than just a professional way, don’t you?” Ronan’s face slowly drained of color. “Did he
fuck
you?”
“No!” I exclaimed, shaking my head fervently.
Yes.
He fucked me. His cock has been in every hole on my body. I’ve sucked him off and he’s eaten me out. He’s had me in public, private and everywhere in between. Everyone in the cartel knows and so do the Feds. Everyone knows except you.
If I could have, I would have removed my brain and bleached it clean just to make the images go away. And the lies I kept telling because God knows if anyone couldn’t handle the truth, it was Ronan.
He would have murdered Fernando on principle alone just because he knew my body intimately.
“Is
that
what this is about? He finally wants what he didn’t get back then?” Ronan shook his head as he held up his hands. “What kind of joke do I look like to you? Do you honestly think I am gonna send you to that meeting now? What? So he can put a bullet in my brain and abduct you to live out some secret fantasy he’s been
dreamin
’ about for God knows how long?”
“Are you under some mistaken impression we have a
choice
?” I asked facetiously.
He smirked. “That’s where you’re wrong,
Nomes
. There’s
always
a choice. We can do it your way but I seriously thought you valued my life more than that. I thought us being together was the most important part of what we had. Obviously, I was wrong.”
My heart broke in two as he walked away. I wandered toward a row of picnic tables and sobbed for what seemed like an eternity before Hardy sat beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
“Did you tell him?”
“Yes and no.”
“Jesus, Naomi—between you and Talia—you birds are gonna be the death of me.”
“You didn’t see his face when he asked me if I’d been intimate with Fernando? He would have gone ballistic.”
“Oh and what if your precious
Nando
blurts out the truth tonight? What do you think is gonna happen then? He’ll hate you because you lied to him when he gave you every opportunity to tell him the truth!”