Riding the Pause (8 page)

The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded. “In this case, I don’t see why not. Come with me and we’ll get you settled.”

Summer glanced back at Travis, who nodded and then she followed the doctor through the swinging door while the rest of the family hugged each other in relief.

Ian fed another of his pocketful of quarters into the vending machine and pushed the button, adding the bottle of soda to his growing stash. The pizza place only had two liter bottles and he couldn’t figure out where to get cups, so he’d gotten change for the hospital vending machines instead.

He’d felt like an intruder in an intimate moment so he’d slipped away to get drinks while Rachel was celebrating with her family. He didn’t belong in the middle of the emotional stuff, but he’d do whatever he could to make things easier for Rachel and the rest of them. He fed another handful of quarters into the machine still grinning to himself that everything had worked out with Jude’s wife and their baby. It could have so easily gone another way. Pushing the button, he watched another soda fall and bent to retrieve it from the slot.

“There you are,” said Rachel, coming up the hallway behind him. “I was afraid you’d left.”

“I just went to get drinks,” he said. “And don’t tell me I didn’t have to do that. No one should try to eat pizza without soda, and I already promised Abby.” He’d been completely charmed by the little girl. Soda was the least of what he’d do for her.

The quarters slid into the slot with a clink and he pushed the button again. When the soda fell, they both bent to reach for it, bumping their heads together. Ian grabbed Rachel’s arms to steady her, inadvertently pulling her closer to him. Laughing, she looked up and her hazel eyes met his, leaving him feeling like he’d been punched in the gut. She stole his ability to breathe and this close to her, with her body practically in his arms already, it would be the easiest thing in the world to pull her closer and claim her mouth. He’d spent more than one night since their time on the Appalachian Trail, imagining her taste and the feel of her soft lips under his. The way her body would soften in his arms.

But she’d made it perfectly clear she wasn’t interested in him. She didn’t think she’d ever
have
to see him again. She’d back pedaled, but he’d learned a long time ago not to ignore people when they told him what they really thought. It seldom changed. It hadn’t with his ex-wife. He’d believed her when she said she wanted to get married and follow him to Wyoming even though she told him how much she loved the city when they first met. They hadn’t even been married a year before she hated the mountains and forests he’d come to love, and she spent every chance she got running off to the city with her friends. After another year of trying to work things out, she hated him as much as the isolation, and the marriage was over.

Rachel told him she hadn’t wanted to see him, and he intended to believe her regardless of what his heart wanted. She’d held his hand and leaned into him because she was scared and she needed his comfort, comfort he was happy to provide. No one should have to go through what the Southerlands had been through, but it would be dangerous for him to let himself believe she wanted more from him than just a little reassurance.

She leaned toward him, tipping her head in invitation, but instead of tasting her sweet lips the way he wanted to, he forced himself to step back, letting his hands fall from her arms.

“Here,” he said filling her arms with bottles of soda so he wouldn’t be tempted to reach for her again. “Take these back to your family. I’ll be right behind you,” he promised when she hesitated.

Still seeming reluctant, she turned and headed back to the waiting room.

He waited until he was sure she’d turned the corner before dropping the last of the quarters into the slot and pushing the button one last time. Leaving the coins intended for his drink in his pocket, he picked up the rest of the bottles and followed the way Rachel had gone. He found Adam talking on the phone in the hallway before he got to the waiting room and the rest of the Southerlands. Waiting a discreet distance away, he leaned against the wall until Adam hung up.

“Hey, man, thanks so much for getting Momma and Daddy here,” said Adam. “And for watching Abby and picking up the pizza. Can I give you something for it?” He reached for his wallet and Ian shook his head.

“It’s my treat. I was happy to do it. That little girl is a charmer and very persistent.”

“She is, isn’t she? This isn’t the first time she and I have had pizza and coke in this hospital. I think that’s the night she stole my heart. She’s got Travis wrapped around her little finger.”

“No doubt,” said Ian.

“Anyway, thanks again for everything. I’m sorry dinner didn’t work out the way we’d planned.”

“I’m just glad your sister-in-law and new niece are going to be okay. I’ll take a rain check on dinner for the next time I’m in town.”

“Any time, man, but you’re not leaving are you? You have to help eat the pizza.”

“Actually, if it’s okay, I’ll leave these with you.” He handed over the bottles of soda before Adam could object. “I really need to get back to the shop. Apollo’s probably going nuts by now. Text me pictures of the baby and tell your family congratulations from me.”

He clapped his friend on the back and left, pushing the button on the elevator before he had a chance to think about whether what he was doing was like Rachel running off without leaving a note that morning on the Appalachian Trail.

Ian filled Apollo’s bowl and stared down the dog. “Try not to eat anything but the food this time, big guy.”

It had been a week since he left the dog alone while he went to meet Adam for dinner and ended up at the hospital holding Rachel’s hand. He’d run away, leaving Adam holding the bottles – literally, and come home to find a sick dog, a decimated bag of sour candies and a self-righteous looking cat. Apollo was a good dog, but his tastes ran toward gluttony.

Ian wished his own taste ran toward something other than an uptight controlling blonde with hazel eyes that were more green than brown.

He’d tried to do what his head said and put Rachel Southerland out of his mind, but it turned out where she was concerned, something other than his head was calling the shots. Her scent, the curve of her full kissable lips, the laugh he didn’t think he’d ever get to hear enough, they invaded his thoughts while he was working and his dreams at night. It was making him short tempered and getting him nowhere closer to getting her out of his head. Maybe a couple of hours in a tree stand watching the woods get ready for the night would help.

One of the local organic farmers with an out of season kill permit reached out to him to help cull the herd of deer ruining his crops. They’d already pushed their way into one of the hoop houses he was using to get an early start on the growing season and clear cut an acre of spring greens. As beautiful as the gentle graceful whitetails were, if they didn’t get the population under control, the farmer was going to have a hard time feeding his own family.

Ian gave the kitchen and living room another quick once over to make sure there wasn’t anything Apollo could eat, and then grabbed his bow and quiver and headed out the door. Looking like something out of every one of his dreams, Rachel Southerland was climbing the steps to his porch.

“What…”

“Hey,” she said, looking nervous and so beautiful she stole his breath.

Her hair was smoothed back into a ponytail and she had on jeans that hugged every single curve. Her shearling lined jacket was buttoned to her throat and she still managed to be the sexiest woman he’d ever seen.

And he didn’t want her showing up on his porch wreaking havoc on the narrow slice of peace he’d managed to carve out for himself. Or tried to carve out for himself. He wasn’t kidding himself into believing he’d actually managed it. It didn’t matter. It was bad enough dreaming about her at night. He didn’t need her intruding into his actual life.

“What do you want?” he said a little more brusquely than he intended.

At his tone, she took a step back, and the smile slipped from her face. He felt like an ass but she’d been on his porch for less than five minutes, and she was already messing with his sense of balance.

“I’m sorry. I should have called.” She looked nervous, and he had to tighten the grip on his bow to keep from reaching for her.

Calling ahead wouldn’t have helped. It would have just given him more time to obsess about her but there was no way in hell he was telling her that. Opting for the path of least resistance he stood, dressed in cammo and holding his bow and waited for her to say something else.

“You’re obviously on your way out. I’ll just go.” She waited for a fraction of a second to see if he would stop her and then pulling herself up taller and taking on a bearing that made her look like the queen of the world, she turned and started back down the steps to her car.

“Wait,” he said, regretting the word as he said it, but he’d regret it more if she left thinking he was an ass and that she was bothering him. He couldn’t stand the idea of her driving the whole way back to town, beating herself up because he was acting like a jerk. “I was going hunting.”

“For what?” she asked, turning back to face him. “I didn’t realize anything was in season.”

“It’s not. I have a special permit to do some herd management at a local organic farm.” He expected her to freak out or at least wrinkle up her nose at the idea of him killing Bambi. He’d underestimated her again.

“My sister’s fiancé, Trace, had a big deer problem on his farm. They ate almost his entire crop of sweet potatoes.”

They stood on the porch for a few moments longer and when he finally opened his mouth to speak again, he said the craziest thing he could imagine.

“You could come with me if you want.”

He’d lost his mind. That was the only thing that made any sense. What in the world was he thinking asking Rachel to spend the evening in a tree stand with him? She’d say no. She had to. She couldn’t possibly want to go hunting with him. And then she’d realize they were from two completely different worlds. She’d leave and he could go back to trying not to think about her.

“I’d love to,” she said, smiling up at him.

Rachel pulled the camouflage fleece lined jacket Ian gave her tighter around her body. It smelled like him, wood smoke and something earthier, almost musky. It made her feel a little bit like she was back in high school, but she loved being surrounded by his scent, loved the idea that something that had touched his skin was covering hers.

He helped her from his truck and held out the climbing harness for her to step into. She tried not to wiggle as he tightened the straps of the harness around her waist, deliberately looking over his head and not at the way his strong masculine hands were tugging on the webbing. Grabbing his gear, he led her to the edge of the empty field dotted with the remnants of last season’s corn stalks. When she’d asked Adam for directions to Ian’s place so she could thank him for his help at the hospital, the last thing she’d expected to be doing was spending her night in his tree stand.

She knew Adam hadn’t believed her excuse for wanting to see Ian again, but she couldn’t seem to let it go. He’d been such an amazing help, taking care of everything that needed to be done without asking and making things easier just by being there. When he’d sent the rest of the drinks back with Adam without saying good-bye, she’d been hurt and angry and then she realized that was exactly what she’d done to him. It suddenly became very important to make things right with him.

She had no idea what it meant or what to do about it, but she’d felt something between them. When he’d almost kissed her in front of the vending machine, she’d been sure he could feel it too, but after what she’d said to him in the truck on the way to the station, she doubted he’d ever act on it. If she wanted any kind of resolution between them, she was going to have to take the first step. She just hadn’t planned on that step being into a field to watch him shoot whitetails.

At least she’d worn boots.

Her daddy hunted and so did her brothers so she wasn’t upset at the idea, but she’d never gone with them. They also used guns instead of the compound bow Ian carried. She trudged along behind him, not sure how she felt about any of it, when Ian stopped and held up his hand. He leaned back to press his lips against her ear and whispered, his warm breath sending delicious tremors through her body.

“Follow my footsteps,” he said. “And stay quiet. I have to get close with the bow. We can’t afford to spook the deer.”

She nodded her head and then took off after him, trying to be quiet as she stepped in the places he had. He moved silently through the field, and she felt like a Saint Bernard puppy following along behind him, squishing in the soft earth and rustling the broken corn stalks. By the time they reached the fence row on the opposite side of the field, the late afternoon light was sliding toward dusk, and she was ready to pass out from lack of oxygen. In an effort to stay quiet, she’d inadvertently been holding her breath, taking shallow breaths only when she absolutely needed to.

The hike across the field had her heart pounding so loud in her chest she half expected him to hear it and her lungs aching for big gasping breaths. Pressing her lips together in a tight line, she felt her nostrils flare, desperate for air, but it was the only way she could be sure not to make too much noise. And she wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t be the one who wrecked his hunt because she couldn’t be quiet.

She could tell by the way he’d almost dared her to come along that he didn’t think she could cut it. She’d be damned if she proved him right. Vowing to be so quiet and still she made him look loud, she met his gaze in the soon to be fading light.

Okay?
he mouthed. She tipped her head almost imperceptibly, and he motioned with his fingertips to the ladder, telling her to go first. At least this way, he’d have to deal with the distraction of watching her ass while she climbed, she thought. And if she passed out from oxygen deprivation, he could break her fall. Careful not to let her boots scrape against the metal rungs, she grabbed the skinny ladder and started to climb.

When she got to the top, she was surprised to find a padded bench big enough for both of them and grateful to find it dry. She settled in behind the bar that acted almost like a safety cage on one of those old fashioned roller coasters, peering over the edge to watch him climb. He had his bow slung over his back with his arrows, and he moved with grace as if he spent as much time in the trees as on the ground.

In moments he was hanging his gear from a hook on the side of the stand and shimmying under the bar to sit beside her. Even the way he sat was deliberate. He didn’t collapse onto the seat with a puff of breath; he lit on the edge like an owl finding its perch, all silent contained power. He reached across her, and she sucked in her breath at having him so close. But instead of touching her, he simply hooked the carbineer attached to her harness to a strap tied to the tree. He repeated the process with his own harness and then picked up his bow, knocking an arrow with a sharpened broad head and clipping on something to the string.

She didn’t know enough about archery to know what he was doing, and she wished she could ask questions. But he wasn’t moving so she wouldn’t either. She followed the direction of his gaze over the field and along the edge of the fence row. The light was starting to fade, dipping from early evening to late, and for a while she watched the colors change.

Sitting still wasn’t that hard. She could totally do this. She’d sit still for hours and then he’d have no reason to treat her like a crazy control freak or call her princess. All she had to do was sit still. Piece of cake. Except her nose started to itch. Beside her, Ian had gone so still it was like he’d become part of the tree. He wasn’t moving so she couldn’t scratch. As a compromise, she flared her nostrils, hoping the little movement would give her some relief.

It didn’t, and the more she thought about staying still, the more she needed to move. Her foot felt funny and her leg started to cramp. On the inside she was a twitchy, crampy, itchy mess, but she was pretty sure Ian couldn’t tell. So far she’d stayed remarkably still. She could totally do this.

How in the world did people manage to meditate? She was five minutes in, and she was already starting to fall apart.

It would be easier if she could find a way to make the waiting productive. She could use the time to figure out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. Maybe if she thought about where she wanted to work, she could stop thinking about how itchy her nose was and how much she wanted to wiggle her foot. After all those years away from home, she didn’t really want to go back to Charlottesville. She’d loved it there, but she really loved being closer to her siblings, especially now that they were getting married and having babies. Jude and Autumn’s little girl was precious. Marion Rose, they’d called her after Autumn’s Gran. They’d gone home the day before and both mother and baby were doing beautifully.

Holding her new niece made Rachel ache for all the parts of her life that were missing. She’d never been sure she wanted kids. She’d loved growing up in a big family – most of the time anyway – but she knew if she did have kids, she wouldn’t want more than one or two. She’d been too focused on her career to think about giving up the time it took to have a family, and she’d have to get married first anyway. Lord knew there hadn’t been anyone interesting on that front, well ever.

Clenching her jaw to keep from moving her head, she slanted her eyes to Ian. He looked completely relaxed and perfectly still. There was absolutely no reason for her to be thinking about Ian while she thought about getting married. He was handsome, and there was definitely something about him that made her heart race. She was attracted to him, but they were practically opposites. As much as people said opposites attract, she was pretty sure it would make for an exhausting partnership.

Except it hadn’t been like that at the hospital. There he’d seen what needed to be done and did it without being asked.

Shifting her hand forward the slightest bit, just enough to let the face of her watch peek out from underneath her glove, she glanced down. Ten minutes. Her whole crazy thought circle from work to babies to Ian had taken her ten minutes. If she kept staying still, her brain was going to spin out into space like a hamster on a wheel and she’d collapse from the effort of holding it all in. At least the harness would hold her so she wouldn’t plummet to her death.

Imagine Jude getting the call that she’d fallen out of a tree stand. The house he and Autumn bought was beautiful. She liked the house Summer had inherited from her grandmother that she lived in with Travis and Abby. At least she’d gotten an offer on her condo almost as soon as she put it on the market. She knew it meant she’d probably priced it too low, but this whole situation would be so much worse if she’d had a mortgage to deal with.