Right Side Up ((MMG Novella)) (10 page)

One Month Later…

“Hey, baby. How
did the appointment go?”

“We got the all clear. When will you be home? I have a surprise for you,” she seductively purred.

My dick was happy to hear this. Joss’ twelve week appointment was three days ago. Everything looked good, but the doctor told us we had to wait until the blood work came back before we could start having sex again. We were beyond frustrated. Over the past few weeks, Josselyn’s nausea had been replaced with hormones…wild, sex-crazed hormones…that neither of us could act on. The first week after the doctor told us to cool it, I pretended we were roommates. When I realized I was doing more harm than good by acting this way, I stopped. Joss explained how it made her feel better for me to complain about how much I wanted sex, than to act like an asexual ass-clown. We barely managed to make it through the month, but we did, and tonight was the night. The doctor had finally given the go ahead and I could not wait to get home to my wife.

“The gang just left and I’m about to call Dillon a cab. As soon as he leaves I’m shutting it down and coming home.”

“Why does D need a cab?” Joss asked.

I glanced over at Dillon, who was forlornly staring down at the bar. “It’s a long story that I will explain much later.”

Dillon and Isabella’s relationship was whacked. I didn’t know the whole story, but the bits and pieces I did know were tweaked. Dillon had broken it off with Isabella and didn’t want her around Dragonfly because her crazy ex was after her. Isabella got pissed at me and threatened to quit if I didn’t let her perform. I agreed, but regretted it when she vented all of her hurt and resentment on stage. Cas showed up to save the day, which pissed Dillon off to no end. Shortly after this, Isabella’s ex tried to run her over and Dillon decided he wanted her back. This all led up to tonight. Dillon took the stage in a surprise performance. I have to give the boy props, he sang his heart out. He even went so far as to tell Isabella, in front of everyone, he wanted to marry her. In the end, she turned him down. Max, Gage and I made him sit and have a few drinks with us after she ran out the door. In a show of sympathy, I over served him. The least I could do now was find him a ride home.

“Come home soon,” Joss sweetly said.

I hung up and pumped my fist in the air.
I am getting laid tonight.
Five minutes later, I pushed Dillon out the back to wait for the cab. Thirty minutes after that, I shut everything off, set the alarm and headed out the back door. As soon as I pulled the door closed behind me, I saw a body lying on the ground next to Dillon’s guitar. I didn’t recognize the guy, but I knew that guitar. Instantly, I searched the parking lot for Dillon. I found him down the steps and around the corner. He was face down in a pool of blood. Lying next to him was a second guy I’d never seen before.

I squatted down next to him and called his name, but he didn’t respond. Placing my fingers against his neck to feel for a pulse, I felt the thump, thump of his heartbeat and let out the breath I had been holding.
Thank Jesus, he’s alive.
Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out my phone and dialed 911, before calling Joss to tell her to meet me at the hospital. As soon as the paramedics arrived, I called Isabella. I waited until I was driving to the hospital to call Piper.

Joss was waiting for me when I arrived at the hospital. It took everything in me not to break down when I saw her standing at the emergency room entrance. She wrapped her arms around me and I fought back the tears. Dillon had become one of my best friends. He was also my partner. The thought of potentially losing him ripped me up inside.

Piper, Gage, Isabella and Sally showed shortly after I arrived. Max and Ellie weren’t far behind them. Eventually, Cas, Tut, Twon and Polly trickled in. After a lengthy wait, Isabella was finally called back to see Dillon. Half an hour later, she appeared and told us he was going to be okay. I almost collapsed in both exhaustion and relief. We ended up leaving my truck in the parking lot and driving Joss’ car home.

After a stiff drink and a scalding hot shower, I crashed beside my already sleeping wife.
So much for a night of unforgettable sex.

Max

‡

O
nce I had
Ellison secured next to me in the truck, I began waffling. I had never seen her this hurt or defeated before and it was all because of me. A barrage of questions raced through my head.
Does she really think I was flirting with that woman? Has she lost all faith in me…in us?
I stared at the side of Joss and Kurt’s house and tried to gather my thoughts. Finally, I gave up and said what was on my mind.

“I don’t even know where to begin.”

“How about the beginning?” she asked.

I started the truck and backed out of the driveway. Halfway down the street, I began talking. “From the minute Garrett told us Dooley was in Mexico and the baby shower was a go, I had a bad feeling in my gut. I knew how important the shower was to you. Even though I wanted to keep you at home with me, I couldn’t.” I slid my arm across the console, held out my open hand and waited. When she took it, I wrapped my fingers around hers and stared out at the road in front of us. Then I continued to try and explain how messed up my head had been lately. “I didn’t have to go to work that day. I could have put it off until Monday. None of this would have happened if I’d stayed at Joss and Kurt’s with you.” Her hand jerked in mine and I glanced over.

“Yes, I would have gone home with you, but Bobby would still have taken Piper and Reyn home. They still would have been kidnapped.” I started to interrupt, but she kept going, “And who knows what would have happened, Max? There’s a good chance Piper and Reyn both would be dead right now if things had gone differently that day.”

Glancing back at the road, I clenched and released my jaw a few times before responding. “If I had been there, though, you would not have almost died delivering our son.” Her head was turned away from me, so I couldn’t see if I was getting through to her or not. Needing for her to understand, I explained. “That room was like a scene from a horror movie, Ellison. Zeke and Reyn were on the floor, blood was…everywhere and you and Piper looked like characters from The Walking-Fucking-Dead. For as long as I live, I will never be able to erase that image from my brain. I watched our son being born under the worst possible circumstances. There were no contractions. There was no prep time. There was you unconscious and bleeding out while the doctor ripped our child from your body.”

Finally, she looked over at me. “I’m sorry you had to see that, truly I am, but what does that have to do with now? What does that have to do with you not wanting to touch me anymore? What does that have to do with what happened in bed the other night? Ever since Mac arrived, you’ve acted as if being with me is a chore, and when I get close to you, you physically cringe.” I shook my head in disagreement, but she ignored me. “The first time in months we are in an intimate situation, you act like a total ass and walk out on me! How do you think that makes me feel, Max? How would you feel? Once upon a time, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt you wanted me. Now, I doubt everything!” The pain in her words gutted me.

How do I make it make sense to her when it barely made sense to me? Hell, I was the one living it and even I couldn’t figure it out. I knew I had to try, or I would lose her for good. “I am sorry I left, baby. I didn’t know what else to do.” Her shoulders slumped and I pushed on. “When you first came home from the hospital, you were in pain. All I could focus on was taking care of you and Mac. Those first few weeks, I couldn’t have gotten my dick hard if you’d paid me. About three weeks into your recovery, Mac was acting extra cranky one afternoon. Nothing I did would settle him. Finally, out of frustration, I left him crying in his crib and came downstairs to get you. Right as I walked into the bedroom, you stepped out of the shower. All it took was one look at your gorgeous naked body…” I paused and shook my head.
I should not be telling her this.

“Go on,” she encouraged.

“One second I was staring at your body and the next I was hauling ass to the guest bathroom with my hand down my pants. I remember how crazy out of control I felt. I hadn’t had a boner in weeks and suddenly I was hiding in the bathroom jacking my junk like a teenage boy. Out of the blue, the image of you on that filthy farmhouse floor covered waist down in blood flashed through my head. The next thing I knew, I was on my knees puking my guts into the toilet. I don’t know about you, but I consider that all kinds of fucked up. From that moment on, every time I so much as thought about sex, that image popped into my head and stopped me dead in my tracks.”

“Is that what happened the other night?” she quietly asked. “You saw that in your head when… I touched you?”

“Yes and no. You had been taunting me for nights with those skimpy outfits. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to either do something about it or I was going to lose my mind.”

“From where I was standing, it sounded as if you were handling it just fine,” she sarcastically quipped. I flicked her a questioning look and she elaborated. “Night three you slid out of bed and I followed you to the bathroom door. I heard you…in the bathroom.” The hurt in her voice made me feel like a giant piece of shit.

This was a delicate situation and I was only making it worse. As I pulled into the driveway, I turned off the ignition and let out a big sigh of frustration. “I suck ass at explaining my feelings, but I’m trying here, Ells.”

She slid her soft hand back into mine and gave a gentle squeeze. “I know you are. Please, keep going.”

“The other night, I woke with a cock of steel and my wife touching me for the first time in months. It was like all of the pent up anxiety and worry I’d been feeling since the day you were kidnapped came to a head at that exact moment in time and, instead of rolling with it, I let it spew out in anger. I was furious I could get hard for you. I could enjoy the pleasure of your hand in my sleep, but couldn’t get there when I was awake. I was frustrated because I was making you feel as if I didn’t want you anymore, when you are all I want. I was disgusted that my mind and my body kept fucking with me. It was as if, finally, out of sheer desperation, my mind shut off and finally let my body take over.”

“Wow, that’s a lot to process,” Ellie said. “The last thing I want to do is to make you angry, Max. I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do. I just wanted…no, I needed for you to see me as a woman again.”

I banged my head against the back of the seat in frustration. “Ellison, all I see is you. I see your much too thin, but still gorgeously sexy body. I see your love filled golden eyes and…”

“But that’s not all you see,” she interrupted.

I shook my head.

“Why in the world didn’t you tell me all of this?” The exasperation in her voice cut me to the quick.

“Dr. Parker calls it a form of trauma or Post Traumatic Stress,” I explained. “For some reason, intimacy with you is triggering the memory of watching you and Mac almost die that day.”

“Is there a cure?”

“He says talking about it with you is a first step. The second is taking things slowly.”

She gave me an eyebrow raise. “Things?”

“Sex,” I answered. Before she could say anything, I jumped in. “Look, Ellison, I don’t like this anymore than you do. I want to be with you. I want to touch you. I just….Fuck!” I slammed my hands on the steering wheel in frustration.

“Hey,” she grabbed my hand back, “I’m glad you are finally explaining this to me. Does Dr. Parker think we can get past this?”

“I know we will and, yes, Dr. Parker said what happened the other night was a major breakthrough.”

A shocked look appeared on her face. “You told him?” she sputtered.

“What choice did I have?”

“So…what do you need from me?”

Knowing she was willing to help eased something deep inside me. “I need you not to give up on me. I need you to take it slowly with me. I need you to have patience and know I love you more than anything in this world.” As I twined our fingers together, I said, “I need you to know I would never, ever, in a million years, cheat on you.”

She lifted her beautiful whiskey colored eyes to mine and smirked. “I know. I only said that because I was mad. The bitch didn’t have a chance.”

Finding Ellison’s response both sassy and seriously funny, I burst out laughing. Once I started, I couldn’t seem to stop. Pretty soon, she was laughing with me.

I slept securely wrapped around my wife that night, which was something I hadn’t done since the birth of our son. I may not be ready to touch Ellison in the ways we both needed, but I was definitely making progress. As Dr. Parker explained it, I had to walk before I could run.

*     *     *