Ring for the Nurse (31 page)

Placing the morning papers on his lap she carefully polished his spectacles and laid them on top.
“
Now is there anything else you want? I think I
’
ll go for a stroll, otherwise I
’
ll have Mackerley telling me I
’
ve put on weight too!
”

“
That
’
s right, my dear, you have a stroll
...
and get some colour into your cheeks or I
’
ll have Guy telling me I
’
m overworking you.
”

The reminder of Guy
’
s imminent arrival renewed Felicity
’
s first feeling of consternation and sent a flush to her cheeks.

“
You are in love with Guy, aren
’
t you?
”

The direct question was so shattering that Felicity dropped back into her chair and put her hands to her face as if she would conceal her heightened colour.
“
I—I don
’
t know what you mean,
”
she faltered, miserably conscious of those brown eyes now twinkling at her with silent laughter.

“
Of course you do!
”
her companion insisted.
“
It would be an insult to me if you denied it. After all Guy is my son and I am told that he closely resembles me,
”
he jested.

Bereft of words Felicity could only stare at her companion in unhappy bewilderment. The blush had now receded and she had to grip her hands tightly together in her lap to control their trembling.

“
I believe—no, I think I know that Guy returns your feelings, and there is nothing in the world that would please me more than that he should find happiness with you.
”
There was no hint of laughter in his voice as he leaned forward and put his hand gently over Felicity
’
s as they rested clasped in her lap.
“
Has it surprised you that I should speak so frankly? You, too, have come to mean so much to me
...”
His voice had become unsteady and for the first time since he had commenced speaking, he showed same doubt and uncertainty.

“
No, of course not,
”
the words were scarcely above a whisper.
“
I do care for Guy, I can see that it would be useless to deny it. I have always admired him, then during his illness and when he was completely dependent on me my feelings changed to something
d
eeper than mere friendship. He was soon to be married, I had to resign myself to the idea—then—then suddenly he was free.
”
Her voice was unsteady and she had to take a deep breath before she could control herself sufficiently to continue.
“
I couldn
’
t bear to go on seeing him,
so I had to make up my mind to get right away. When you were taken ill and he asked me to come down here, I wavered but hadn
’
t the strength to refuse.
”
She turned impulsively to her companion and now there was no hesitation in her words.
“
I
’
ve enjoyed looking after you, I haven
’
t regretted it for one moment, I love being here, I love Weir Court.
”

“
So, like your brother, you meant to run away from the greatest gift this life has to offer?
”
His tone was gentle and with a final pressure of his fingers he dropped his hand from hers.
“
Don
’
t you realize how wrong that would have been
?
”

“
I couldn
’
t do otherwise, I
’
ve only delayed the inevitable end, even now I dread Guy
’
s visits. I
’
m frightened of giving myself away, and if it weren
’
t that I feel you still need me
—”

“
Will you take advice from an old man?
”
Aware of her distress he instilled a note of lightness into his voice.
“
I ought to know Guy, I
’
m his father. He feels the same as you do but you are too reserved in his company. Alaine had the good sense to make the running, I don
’
t know how she did it but you should take a leaf out of her book. She gave him the very encouragement that he needed, and he fell for her wiles. How much more readily would he succumb to you!
”
He gave a chuckle of amusement.
“
Cheer up, Felicity! I proved to you my flair for matchmaking. After my admission of the part I played before, surely you can
trust
me now?
”

“
Of course I trust you! But are you suggesting I
make
advances to Guy? I
’
d better till you right away that I couldn
’
t compete with Alaine, I don
’
t possess her charm and I shouldn
’
t even know how to begin!
”
She raised her eyes and a light of amusement began to dawn in them.

“
You have everything Alaine has and more
—you
have
Guy
’
s love, she never had that, but she was clever enough to make him believe she had.
”

“
I wonder
—”
Felicity began, then broke off abruptly
while she struggled to absorb the true significance of his words.

“
Use some subtlety, my dear. Guy is so ridiculously diffident, break down his defences, stop being so cool and offhand, use all the irresistible wiles which you have in plenty.
”
He laughed softly.
“
If you can
’
t do that then you aren
’
t the girl I think you are!
”
He leaned toward her chair and touched her arm to compel her attention.
“
Now listen to me, this weekend you
’
ll accept Guy
’
s invitation to ride—and just in case it isn
’
t forthcoming you
’
ll go along to the stable now and tell Adams to bring the horses round after tea. Refusing him every time he asks
...
and making my health the excuse too!
”
he added with mock indignation.
“
I won
’
t
be made a tool for such nefarious doings. You are deliberately turning your back on Guy, building a barrier between you. Be careful the barrier does not get too high.
”

“
You are quite right!
”
Felicity agreed, her cheeks dimpling into their most bewitching smile.
“
I will ride with Guy today, and I
’
ll do as you suggest and order the horses now.
”
She stood up and was surprised at the light-hearted feeling of gaiety which pervaded her whole being. She stooped impulsively and dropped a light kiss on his forehead.
“
You are a darling, and I believe there is an awful lot of truth in what you say. I know I
’
ve been frigid on the few occasions Guy has been here, I
’
ve been afraid of giving myself away. I see now that perhaps I was wrong—but then I felt that he could not possibly return my love.
”

“
At least you
’
ve the right to find that out—and you won
’
t unless you try. No man could be expected to interest himself in a girl who showed the icy reserve you have done, particularly a man of Guy
’
s calibre.
”

“
All right, I
’
ll be weak and womanly—this very afternoon,
”
she laughed and her laughter held a low, musical cadence.
“
I
’
ll be all cajoling smiles and dimples, you
’
ll hardly know me—if that doesn
’
t give him the encouragement which you say I
’
ve denied him, then it will certainly send him back to London by the next train, and it will be your fault if it does!
”

“
Go now and order the horses, then change into your
prettiest frock. You hide behind that uniform as if it were a cloak of armour, and when Guy
’
s here you don
’
t even change at night.
”

So he had noticed that! With his laughter still ringing in her ears and feeling as if she walked on air, Felicity made her way to the stables and obediently gave her instructions to the groom. Although her patient needed far less attention now, Felicity could always find plenty to do, and as she gathered armfuls of flowers, she was already planning the menus for the week-end. Mrs. Mackerley was really glad of Felicity
’
s help with many of the household tasks, and she was only to
o
happy to be of assistance.

Returning to the house, the flowers in her arms, she paused beneath the lilac-tree, bowed down with its heavily laden branches. Raising herself on tiptoe she plucked some of the scented blossom and laid it carefully across her arm with the other flowers. It was of Guy she thought as she inhaled its sweet perfume and gently touched the tiny petals. He seemed inextricably linked in her thoughts with her memories of Peter, yet she knew now that her early love had been no more than the romantic stirring of a girl
’
s heart and held no semblance to the deep
s
urge of emotion which Guy had roused within her.

After lunch, when she had changed her uniform for a cool linen frock and was taking a last look in her mirror, she wondered, not without some trepidation, whether, when Guy
’
s arrival was an accomplished fact, she would be able to stand by her resolution of the morning. By the time his car drew up and he had mounted the steps to the terrace, her courage began to fail her and she had an instinctive urge to retire again behind her defensive reserve. It was Colonel Brenton
’
s encouraging smile which spurred her flagging spirits as she advanced with outstretched hand to greet Guy.

“
It was a lovely surprise to hea
r
you were coming,
”
she told him warmly.
“
It
’
s ten days at least since you
’
ve been down. I expect you see a difference in your father.
”

“
A tremendous improvement,
”
Guy agreed enthusiastically.
“
He looks marvellous and I believe he has put on weight.
”

“
Now don
’
t you start that,
”
Colonel Brenton interrupted.
“
Come and have some tea and stop studying me as if I were a prize bull.
”

It was a cheerful meal and having once relaxed, Felicity found it less difficult to go on. The Colonel
’
s sly glances of approval certainly helped and at times it was only with difficulty she could restrain her laughter.

Guy, after his first show of surprise, seemed to have been only too willing to fall in with her mood, although she was conscious of his lingering air of mistrust and his occasional glance in her direction as if he were seeking enlightenment for her sudden change of behaviour
.
When it was Felicity who suggested a ride with the added information that the horses were already ordered, he could no longer conceal his pleasure a
n
d surprise.

“
So you aren
’
t making Father an excuse today. Well I
’
m glad of that, because I wouldn
’
t have believed you this time if you
’
d said that he couldn
’
t be left.
”
Guy smiled at her, showing himself only too ready to fall in with her mood.
“
Let’s
go up and change. When is Adams bringing the horses round?
”

“
In about ten minutes.
”
Felicity watched Guy hurry up the stairs, then stooped for a minute beside Colonel Brenton
’
s chair.
“
How am I doing?
”
Her blue eyes sparkled beneath their curled lashes a
n
d the bow of her lips was curved into a bewitching smile.

“
Fine, my dear, fine!
”
His face was
wreathed in smiles.
“
Better than running away, isn
’
t it?
”
he asked teasingly.

“
Much!
”
With a final pat to his cushions she followed Guy up the stairs and hurried along the corridor to change for the ride.

When they had reappeared on the terrace the horses were saddled and ready, their hooves pawing at the gravel with impatience.
“
Have a good ride,
”
Colonel Brenton addressed them both, then turning to Felicity added,
“
mind that horse, be gentle with the curb, he
’
s inclined to be sensitive.
”

“
What did he mean
?
”
Guy asked in an undertone as they walked side by side down the steps to the waiting mounts.
“
That
’
s Nigger you
’
re riding, the one you
’
ve ridden before, he is not a bit sensitive, quite easy to handle.
”
There was a note of surprise not untinged with concern in his voice.
“
Father
’
s memory is all right, isn
’
t it? It
’
s never shown the
sli
g
htest sign of failing.
”

“Oh,
perfectly all right,
”
Felicity reassured him. She could hardly add that Colonel Brenton
’
s words might not necessarily have been referring to the horse!

The exhilaration of the gallop across the undulating Downs was a reflection of Felicity
’
s existing joy. She had never felt more carefree, it seemed as if the world lay at her feet and all its joys were hers to grasp and hold. If Colonel Brenton
had been wrong, then this was the last throw of the dice and if it failed, at least she would have tri
e
d, would know without doubt that the love which filled her heart must remain denied.

“
Shall we dismount and give the horses a rest?
”
Guy slowed up at her side to ask the question, but the warm wind blowing across the open spaces made his words scarcely audible.

Raising her voice Felicity called back.
“
Yes—let
’
s get to the top—that shady bank where we rested once before.
”
She touched the flan
k
of her horse with her heels and cantered off, letting Guy
’
s answer be blown away across the hilltops.

Memory flooded back as Felicity drew rein. That was the bank where they had lingered, the patch where the horses had grazed—the very ground where she had stood when Guy had stooped to kiss her! She was living that moment again when he drew up at her side and dismounting, walked across to assist her.

“
This was where you meant, wasn
’
t it? My favourite view—an unspoiled vista of nature.
”

“
Yes,
”
Felicity loosed one foot from the stirrup, then as Guy steadied her to help her dismount she suddenly relaxed her hold on the saddle and it was only by gripping her waist that he prevented her falling. She stumbled against him, his firm stance breaking the force of her fall and with a short, gasping breath she murmured her thanks.
“
Lucky you were there—how careless of me—thank you!
”
She still had her back to him and with his arms supporting her, she made no move to draw aside. Deliberately rejecting what had now become a natural impulse to keep him at arm
’
s length, she let her head rest comfortably against his shoulder.

“
Come and sit down, here against this mound.
”
With his arm supporting her,
he led her across the intervening space, then as she settled on the grass, he dropped on one knee beside her and anxiously scrutinized her half-averted face.
“
Are you sure you didn
’
t hurt yourself?

“
Oh, no, thanks, I
’
m quite all right.
”
She made no demur when he forced her gently back against his arm, abandoning herself with a sigh to the comfort it offered. She already sensed in him some indefinable change. By shedding her habitual confidence, by showing one moment of weakness, she had broken down the barrier which she had built up between them. She realized now she had never allowed their relationship, based upon his erstwhile reliance upon her, to change, she had never allowed him to know that her self-sufficiency was only a necessary part of her equipment as a nurse, that underneath it she was as clinging and feminine as any other girl. How he must have longed to make her feel his recovered strength and to resume their friendship upon a more natural basis. She had wilfully denied him his need. Fearful of betraying her own hidden feelings she had held herself aloof, safe in an assumed aura of independence. Felicity closed her eyes, the feeling of buoyancy suddenly left her, she felt tears well up into her eyes and despite all her efforts, force themselves beneath her fringed lashes.

“
Felicity—what is the matter?
”
His words were fraught with tenderness and concern.

“
Nothing—really, it
’
s nothing,
”
she repeated as she pulled herself into a sitting position. Her eyes were misted with tears as she went on.
“
I must speak to you now—while I have the chance. You realize I cannot stay at Weir Court much longer?
”

Whatever reaction she had expected from Guy she was not prepared for his look of utter consternation.
“
But I don
’
t understand—you mean you want to leave my father
?
”

“
You
’
ve rather twisted my words.
”
Felicity essayed a smile.
“
I don
’
t want to leave the Colonel—or Weir, but you must see that I have to, your father needs no nursing now. Let us face facts, he is as well as he
’
ll ever be—I have to consider the future, I must get back to serious work, I dare not allow myself to drift any longer.
”

“
I can
’
t imagine Weir Court without you.
”
It was as if he spoke to himself, then turning again to meet her eyes uplifted to his, continued,
“
I
’
ve got so used to seeing you here, you have become a part of my home, I look forward so much to coming down
—”
His words trailed away.