Ripped! (13 page)

E
LI LISTENED AS
G
REG AND
L
ISA
exchanged their vows, but he couldn’t seem to look anywhere except at Tara. Her gaze held his. She hid nothing from him, or from anyone else who might glance at the two of them instead of at the bride and groom.

She loved him.

She hadn’t spoken the words aloud, but he realized it had been in her touch. Her eyes proclaimed it, even as they asked nothing in return.

He felt humbled by her generosity. What had he ever done to deserve someone as special as Tara? Special didn’t begin to describe her. He’d never felt for another woman what he felt for her. But there was no room in his life for a relationship now. And after he finished his training, what kind of relationship could he offer a woman who’d finally put down deep roots in Jackson Flats? If he made her a military wife, could he bear to watch that life change her? He’d be sent out and she’d spend more and more time alone at whatever base he was stationed at. What would happen when loneliness took its toll and the look in her eyes turned
from love to bitterness? What kind of man would he be to drag her down that path simply because he couldn’t bear the thought of being away from her? A selfish bastard, that’s what he’d be.

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” the preacher said. “You may kiss your bride.”

Three minutes later, he and Tara were heading down the aisle together and he couldn’t help feeling there was something right about having her on his arm. “Have I told you how beautiful you look in that dress?” he asked in an undertone as they cleared the church doors.

“Not in the last half hour,” she said with a sassy smile.

“Only because of that vow business. Otherwise, I would’ve. The only thing better than you in that dress is—”

“Hey, Tara,” a big blond guy with a toothy smile interrupted them, moving forward to envelope her in a bear hug. “I wanted to tell you you’re looking good. Maybe we could do a movie one day next week.”

Translate to “maybe I could do you one day next week.” Eli bristled with a nearly overwhelming urge to kick this guy’s ass.

“Jack, this is Captain Eli Murdoch. Eli, Coach Jack Thompson.”

The guy was pretty big, but Eli was taller and fitter. He looked down at the other man. “Coach? Really? Peewee football?”

Next to Eli, Tara made a choking sound.

It was Jack’s turn to bristle. “High school. Varsity.
State champs two years running.” He smiled and turned his attention back to Tara. “I’ll give you a call next week.”

“Um…okay.”

Jack walked away and Eli said to her, “I don’t like him.”

“Really? You could have fooled me.” She laughed. “Peewee football? Eli.”

He didn’t see what was so damn funny. “Did you go out with him?”

She nodded. “Last year. We dated for a while.”

She was too casual. She’d slept with the son of a bitch. “I knew I didn’t like him.”

“Ancient history,” she said, running her fingers up his arm and leaning into him, her voice low in his ear, her scent all around him, her breath a warm seduction against his jaw. “The reception is going to last at least two hours,” she said.

“Two hours is a long time. A lot can happen in two hours.”

Her eyes had that wicked twinkle that always portended good things to come. “A whole lot can happen in two hours…if you’re not at a wedding reception.” Her hip brushed against his thigh and she had his full attention. “Do you think anyone would notice if we slipped away?”

“I’m fairly certain they would,” he said. “But I couldn’t care less. Let’s go home.”

T
ARA DIDN’T WANT TO FALL
asleep and waste precious time. She’d never felt so content. She realized that much as she liked her little house, it had never felt like home the way it did now that Eli was here. He felt like home to her.

She propped on her elbow and studied the play of firelight over Eli’s nakedness. Even if he wasn’t the most beautiful man on the planet—in a totally masculine way—she’d still love him for his quiet strength of character, his devilish smile, his sense of humor—

He reached up and cupped her jaw in his hand, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “What are you thinking?”

She drew in a deep breath and said without prevarication, “That even if you weren’t the most beautiful man on the planet, I’d still love you.”

He grew very still. The moment for an
I love you
, too came and went. She wasn’t surprised. She hadn’t really expected…

“Tara—”

“It’s okay, Eli. I just wanted you to know before you
left.” She caught his hand in hers and kissed his fingertips. “When you’re training, when you’re on assignment, just know that I love you.” She laughed. “I think I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. It was my first day at Jackson Flats High and you were in your ROTC uniform.” He looked sort of funny and she knew it was because he totally didn’t recall seeing her. “I know. You didn’t even know I was alive until you came back home for that first wedding.”

He grimaced and looked apologetic. “True. I’m sorry. You were younger than me and well, I just didn’t notice.” He pressed an openmouthed kiss to her shoulder and a lazy heat spiraled through her. “But I made up for it in spades. When you walked into that church, it was like taking a kick to the gut. It’s still that way every damn time you walk into a room.”

He might not love her the way she loved him, but at least she wasn’t totally alone in this thing between them. “Good.”

He laughed and then sobered. “I was just starting out in the military. There wasn’t any room in my life for entanglements.”

She waited. What about two years ago?

He nodded. She hadn’t even had to pose the question. Increasingly, this weekend, it seemed as if they were more and more tuned in to each other’s thoughts. Eli continued, “The last time we were together, I woke up that morning scared to death.”

Over the last two years she’d replayed every moment
they’d ever spent together. What was he talking about? “Why? Did I say something?” Then she decided to take another approach. “Did I look that bad first thing in the morning?” she asked lightly.

There wasn’t even a glimmer of humor in his eyes. “The way it was with you…the way it is when we’re together…It’s never been like that with anyone else.” It wasn’t exactly an oath of undying devotion, but Tara’s heart sang to know he, at least, felt that there was more between them than just sex. It was a start, a jumping-off point. “I’m not proud of it, but I ran. I’m sure you thought I was a bastard not to write or call.”

“The thought crossed my mind—a couple of times.”

He winced. “I’m not great at keeping in touch, just ask my mother—”

Tara laughed aloud at the idea of walking up to Mrs. Murdoch and asking her about Eli’s correspondence habits. “I think I’ll pass.”

He offered a half smile. “Okay, maybe not. But my mother would like you. I’ll e-mail…and I’ll call when I can.”

“You know, I’d like that.” And she’d have to be content with that. “And I know what you’d like.”

“You do, do you?”

“Uh-huh.” She knelt over him and followed the contour of his chest with her lips, kissing him, her tongue darting over his nipples.

“Oh, yes, you do…” His words ended on a groan as
she moved down the hard, ridged plane of his belly. He buried his hand in her hair and tugged.

“Easy, soldier-boy, I’m going to get here…eventually.”

“If you don’t kill me first.”

“Oh, I have no intention of killing you…but I fully intend to make things hard.”

“Have a look, babe. Mission accomplished.”

“T
HANKS FOR GIVING ME A RIDE
to the airport,” Eli said, sitting beside Tara as her Mini Cooper ate up the highway.

“You know I wanted to.”

It wasn’t just her blond hair, green eyes and hot body that made her beautiful. She was generous and loving, but at the same time she gave as good as she got. He figured she was pretty much the perfect woman. “You’re a helluva woman, Tara Swenson.”

“It’s about time you figured that out, soldier-boy.” She kept her eyes trained on the highway in front of her. “I should tell you something. Something I just figured out myself this morning.”

“Okay?”

“Remember I told you I hadn’t been here long when I figured out Jackson Flats was where I belonged?”

“Yeah?”

“It wasn’t the ‘where,’ it was the ‘who.’ It wasn’t Jackson Flats that called to me. It was the day I saw you for the first time that I knew I was home. My roots are with you,” she finally said, laying her soul bare to him.

Yeah, that’s what she said now, but how would she feel when she was alone on a military base while he was halfway around the world for a couple of weeks or even months? He cleared his throat. “I’ll be better about keeping in touch this time.”

“It would be impossible to be worse.”

She obviously wasn’t happy with his reaction, but what the hell did she expect from him? He was trying to do the honorable thing.

“I love you, Eli, but I’m not going to wait on you forever. I’ve got to have more of you than a quick fling every couple of years.”

Point taken, but he was working with limited options. “Tara, I told you I’d write.”

“Look, you might be Captain Murdoch to your men, but you’re not in charge of me, so don’t use that patronizing tone. Do you know what courage is, Captain? It’s wading into the fray when you’re scared shitless. You know you’re about to be shot down, but you go there anyway.” Okay. He got her analogy. She’d had the guts to lay out to him how she felt. “Maybe you can find your balls while you’re in Special Forces training. Maybe when they finish with you, you’ll actually have the guts to admit you love me, too.”

Goddamn straight she wasn’t one of his men. They’d never talk to him like that. “Are you through?”

“Almost.” Damn her. Even when she’d pissed him off and she was radiating hostility, she was still sexy. “I might have been too stupid to realize I loved you, but
good Lord, I finally did. You, on the other hand, are too scared to even consider the possibility. God help us both.”

A tight, tense silence stretched between them. Who the hell did she think she was? He jumped out of planes. He was about to become one of the deadliest forces in the U.S. Army and she, a schoolteacher from Jackson Flats, Tennessee, was going to tell him he needed to find out what courage was? He was so goddamn angry he couldn’t even begin to find the cool detachment that served him so well in his job.

“You can just drop me off at the curb,” he said in the terse, clipped tone that always let his men know they’d crossed a line.

“I was planning to.”

He should’ve known she’d have to have the last word. Tara pulled over and he got out of the car without a word. Reaching into the backseat, he yanked out his duffel.

“Eli.”

“Yes?”

“I love you. Take care of yourself.”

He straightened and slammed the door. Then he was pissed because he felt like a jerk. He turned and made his way through the automatic airport doors.

What the hell was wrong with him? He was so angry he could…what? He’d never had anger issues, but Tara had pushed him too far…His steps faltered. By speaking the truth.

He’d run like hell two years ago and he was still running, too much of a chickenshit to bare his soul. He could learn a lesson or two in bravery from this woman.

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number she’d programmed in for him last night. He sprinted back toward the front of the airport.

“Tara, it’s Eli. You’ve got to come back. I forgot something.”

He burst through the double doors and she was standing at the curb where she’d dropped him off. He clicked the phone off.

She dropped her cell into her pocket, her eyes never leaving his face. “I never left. What’d you forget?”

He manned up and stepped forward, bracketing her face in his hands. “The one thing I can’t live without. You. I love you, Tara.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, tears shimmering in her eyes. “It’s about time you figured that out, soldier-boy.”