Road to Redemption (14 page)

Ohmigod
. I swallowed and took a deep breath.

“I know I scared you when I reached for Jenny and I won’t try to excuse it, because there isn’t one… I snapped I guess. But just know I have never done that before and I sure as hell won’t ever do it again.”

“Did you choke her?”

“What the fuck?” he snapped. “No!”

“Then why was she holding her neck and gasping for breath?”

“To fuck with you! I thought you got that last night.”

“That’s what Kayla said,” I whispered.

“Baby, ask Dani. Ask Booker. I swear to God, I didn’t hurt her, even though I wanted to.” He grimaced. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

I nodded. “Why did you tell me to fuck off?”

“Because you were scared, baby, and I’m a dick. I was angry that Jenny made me mad enough to want to kill her, and then when I saw your face, it was too much. I needed you gone. I’m not always good at the emotional shit, Payton, but I’ll try. If you’ll let me.”

“Why didn’t you give my stuff to Dani?”

“Because I had to see you,” he admitted. “I knew if I let her have it, I wouldn’t have an excuse to.”

Well, that was kind of sweet.

“I know this is a lot to take in,” he said. “If you need a couple of days, take ’em. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. We can start slow again or you can tell me to fuck off. I’ll respect your decision.”

I nodded. “I should take some time to think.”

“Whatever you need, baby.”

“Would you mind dropping me home? I’d rather not walk.”

“Of course.”

I did our dishes quickly, left a note for Brock and Bailey, and then locked up and followed him to his truck. He threw my bag in the back and opened the door for me. We drove the five minutes to my parents’ house and he parked in front.

“I need to be clear on something,” I said before I climbed out of the truck.

“Okay.”

I squeezed his arm. “Even if this doesn’t work out for whatever reason, I need you to know my decision would have nothing to do with what you told me. I don’t see you as anything less because of your past, or see you as warped or depraved… your words. I just need to figure out if we’re right for each other.”

He nodded. “I love you, Payton, and I’m not always gonna do everything right, but I do intend to fight for you. I’m not gonna lie about my intentions.”

My stomach flipped. “I love you too, Alex. I’m just not sure if it’s enough.”

“I know, baby.” He sighed. “I’ll get your bag.”

He helped me from the truck, handed me my bag, and then gave me the sweetest kiss he’d ever given me. I forced back tears as I navigated the sea of emotions.

“I love you,” he said, and kissed my forehead before climbing in his truck and driving away.

I let myself into the house and walked down to my room, falling on the bed and bursting into tears for the forty-millionth time in less than a day.

* * *

Hawk stormed into the club, his mind solely on his directive. He’d come here the second he’d left Payton, his intention to take care of the threat immediately.

“Yo, Hawk,” Train, one of the recruits, greeted.

“Yo. Crow in his office?”

“Yeah, man.”

He headed to the President’s office, knocked on the door, and entered when bid.

Crow gave him a chin lift. “Hawk.”

“No more Jenny,” Hawk demanded.

“Yeah, we’re on it.”

Hawk wanted to say more… something in the vein of Crow making sure his old lady, Susie, was on board with the plan… but he held his tongue. He might be high up in the hierarchy of the club, but that didn’t mean he could disrespect the Prez and his family.

“Everyone’s on the same page, Hawk.” Crow waved toward a chair. “Mack workin’ on the legal shit?”

Hawk nodded and sat down. “Bitch signed away her rights three years ago. That’s not the issue.”

“You got recruits on her, she can’t get far.”

“She’s fuckin’ wacked, Crow. I don’t know what she’ll do or who’s still loyal to her.”

“Mack helpin’?”

Hawk nodded. “He’s usin’ his God-given gift to find out.”

Logan ‘Mack’ Reed was the club’s legal counsel. He happened to be Booker’s closest friend and right-hand man, but he was also a damn good lawyer and Hawk had used him to deal with the Jenny situation in the beginning. Mack had had the foresight to get her to sign over her rights, something Hawk wouldn’t have thought of, and it meant Jenny didn’t have a legal chance in hell of getting Lily back.

But she was devious and smart, so it didn’t mean Hawk wasn’t worried. Lucky for him, Mack was far more cunning and could work the system within the law. He was also charming, which meant he had his choice of women. All of whom he was ‘working’ to find out who still had ties to Jenny. Hawk couldn’t have been more grateful.

“Come in,” Crow called when a knock at the door came.

“Hawk, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Susie pushed in and sat in the chair next to Hawk. “I mean, I didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to be there,” she rushed on. “Not that she wasn’t a psycho bitch.”

Hawk nodded.

“She said that Alana invited her and I didn’t know she was messin’ with you. Both bitches are banned, honey.”

“’Preciate that, Suz.”

“You talk to Payton yet?”

Hawk shifted in his seat. “Yeah.”

Susie sighed. “I’m real sorry, Hawk. If I can make it right, you let me know.”

He forced his heartache aside and nodded.

“Babe,” Crow said. “We got business.”

“Right,” she said, and rose to her feet.

She started to leave, but Crow frowned. “Where the fuck are you goin’, woman?”

She rolled her eyes and made her way to him, leaning down to kiss him quickly. “Fuckin’ mixed messages, old man.”

He smacked her ass and she giggled as she left the office.

“You gotta miss church this week to deal with your woman, I’m good,” Crow said.

Hawk nodded, his appreciation unspoken. He stamped down the feeling of hopelessness.

“You get clear of this shit and I gotta job for you.”

Hawk cocked his head. “Yeah?”

“Ashley’s been gettin’ threats. Bad break-up with some Russian fuck-head.”

“You don’t know him?”

“Nah and he’s gone to ground. Darlin’ daughter kept him secret. She won’t do it again,” Crow said, his voice low and angry. “Booker’s lookin’ into it, but when he finds the bastard, I’m gonna need you.”

Hawk nodded. “Anything yet?”

“So far, no, but we got a couple leads.”

“Whatever you need.”

“I’ll keep you posted,” Crow said. “If we see you at church, good, if we don’t, good.”

“Thanks, man,” Hawk said, and rose to his feet.

With a chin lift, he left his president’s office and then headed out for the night.

M
ONDAY I SUFFERED through work. Luckily, my students were older which meant they tended to work quietly when instructed, but I was still exhausted and sad, and I missed Alex. Like my heart broke a thousand times in one day at the thought of not being with him.

At the end of the day, I headed home, surprised to find my mom in the kitchen. “Hi,” I said. “You’re home early.”

She smiled. “I quit.”

“What? You did?”

She nodded. “Took early retirement.”

“Can you do that?”

“Apparently so. Your dad and I ran the numbers and it worked, so I quit. I gave them three weeks, but I need to burn up some vacation time or I’ll lose it, so I’m only working one day at the end of that three week period, and I’ll still have five weeks paid vacation to cash out.”

“Wow, Mom, that’s awesome.”

She studied me and then smiled. “What’s up with you, honey? You look sad. How’s Alex?”

I forced back tears again and made my way to the fridge, grabbing the O.J. from the top shelf. “It’s been a rough couple of days.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I poured a glass of juice and leaned against the island. “I don’t know what to say. So much of it’s complicated and I’m trying to work out if it’s worth it.”

“Honey, it’s always worth it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s sit,” she said, and led me to the dinette table. I sat across from her and she squeezed my hand. “You’ve always been my careful one. You weigh the pros and the cons, make a graph and a chart, and then make your very informed decision based on the data you gather.”

Does everyone think I’m a control freak?

“This being said, I don’t worry about you… at least, not in the same ways I worry about your siblings. But that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you in other ways. Alex is different than anyone you’ve ever dated and that boy loves you better than any of the others have.” She smiled a little sadly. “He knows my baby. Truly knows her and that’s more than any mother can hope for because I know he’ll take care of you in all the ways that count.”

“But you don’t understand everything.”

“I know, honey. And that part’s where being an adult sucks, because it’s ultimately your decision. Whatever way you go, you know Daddy and I will support you, and you know all of us will be here to help put your heart back together, but just know that we all love Alex, Kayla, and especially little Lily. They fit perfectly into our family.”

“I know.” I nodded, blinking back tears. “I really love him, Mom.”

“But he scares you.”

“So much.”

“So did your dad, honey. He turned my world upside down in a way that rocked me to my core.” She smiled again. “You and I are very much alike, Payton, so I’ll give you a promise. When you take a risk, you reap really amazing rewards, and you will feel more alive that you ever have. It’s worth it, honey, and I think
he’s
worth it.”

I sighed.

The house phone rang and my mom rose to her feet. “Hold that thought. Hello? Hi, Gordon.” Her face fell and I sat up straighter. “Where is she? Yes. I’m coming now. We’ll call everyone. Okay, honey. See you soon.” She hung up and grabbed her keys. “Kris has been admitted. She’s bleeding. They can’t find the baby’s heartbeat.”

“Where is she?”

“Legacy.”

I shot out of my seat, set my glass in the sink, and went for our coats. I fired off a group text to the rest of the family, knowing Mom would want to tell Dad herself, and then followed her into the garage.

As I climbed into my mom’s car, all I could think about was I needed to talk to Alex. I was worried about my sister and I needed him to hold me and tell me it was all going to be okay. Since I didn’t know if I could talk without crying, I fired off a text to Kayla, filling her in on what was going on. Kayla and Kristen were getting close and I knew that if Kayla felt Alex should know, she’d tell him.

When we arrived at the hospital, Mom took advantage of the valet parking, and we rushed inside and up to maternity. Gordon was pacing the waiting room and Elizabeth sat crying on one of the seats, but she rushed to Mom and wrapped her arms around her waist.

My mom stroked her hair. “Hey, honey. It’s okay.”

I went to Gordon and gave him a quick hug. “Do you need me to do anything at the office?”

Gordon and Kristen owned a pretty successful real estate company, and I had worked in the office during summer and school holidays during high school. It had been a great way to earn some money and get some administrative skills under my belt.

“No. I have an open house this weekend, but Sam’s going to cover if I need him too. The paperwork’s covered, so I’m set. But thank you.”

“Well, if anything changes, let me know.” I smiled. “Have you seen Kristen?”

He shook his head. “They’re running tests. They won’t let me see her until they’re done.”

“Okay,” I said. I mean, what could I say? The whole thing was just awful.

We’d been at the hospital just over an hour when Gordon was finally called back to see Kristen. Elizabeth stayed with us, and by now, my dad, Anna, and Brock had arrived. Anna’s husband, William was still at work so Bailey had offered to watch all the kids at my parents’ house until we could get things figured out. Elizabeth wanted to stay with her parents, so she stuck close to my mom.

I was sitting with my face in my hands when Brock said, “Payton?”

“Hmm?” I looked up and he nodded toward the open hallway. I followed his nod and my heart raced. Alex was walking towards us and in that moment, I knew. I just knew he was it for me. No more guessing, no more worry. Just love.

I rose to my feet and rushed to him. He held his arms out to me and I slid into his embrace, squeezing my eyes shut as his hands moved to my hair. “I came as soon as I could, baby. Sorry it took a little while.”

I bit back a sob and nodded.

“Any news?” he asked. I shook my head, and he stroked my back and pulled me closer. “Okay, honey. I’ve got you.”

I don’t know how long we stood there, but if anyone had asked us to move, I probably would have kicked them. It was Alex who broke the moment, suggesting we join the family, and leading me back to the waiting area.

My mom hugged him, as did Anna, and the men shook hands, and then he was all about me again, and I gladly accepted the support. We sat on a love seat type thingy and he had his arm around me while my back was to his side. As we waited for news, no one spoke, which was weird for us, but I think we were all afraid to say anything wrong.

Gordon walked into the room, his face grim as he sat beside my mom. “It’s not good.”

“Hey, Elizabeth,” Alex said. “Will you help me grab some snacks from the cafeteria?”

I wanted to kiss him.

“Um, sure,” she said, but I could tell she didn’t want to leave.

“I’ll fill you in when you get back,” Gordon promised.

“Okay, Daddy.” She stood in front of him. “Is Mommy okay?”

“She will be, sweetie.”

Gordon hugged her and then Alex guided her out of the waiting area. Gordon broke down and it took a few minutes for him to gain his composure enough to speak. “They want to induce. There’s no heartbeat.”

My mom wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze. Brock and Dad held it together, but the rest of us couldn’t stop the tears.

“What does Kris say?” Mom asked.

“She’s refusing to let them do it. Wants to see a miracle,” Gordon said.

We’d all be raised in a somewhat loose Catholic family, but Gordon was an evangelical Christian and he and Kris had a pretty strong faith.

“What do the doctors say?” Mom asked.

“We can wait a day, maybe two, but any later and she might be in danger.”

“Oh, honey,” Mom crooned. “This is a tough decision, but we know you’ll make the right one and we’re here. Whatever you need.”

My mom was the best person ever. None of us would survive without her.

“She’s so stubborn,” Gordon said.

A hint of a smile crossed my dad’s face. “She gets that from her mother.”

Now, bear with me here, because something happened that had never happened before. At least, none of us had ever seen it, and it was the most inappropriate thing on earth, but it also managed to do something none of us could imagine.

My mother (the supportive, gorgeous, G.I.LF. who always said and did the right thing… you’re tracking with me right?). Well, my mother flipped my father the bird. In the middle of the hospital waiting room. Just raised her middle finger and scrunched up her mouth... all silent and totally non-graceful like.

“Mom!” Anna exclaimed before the rest of us dissolved into much needed giggles. “Ohmigod, Dad, I blame you,” Anna continued. “She was sweet before you got hold of her!”

“How would you know?” my dad countered. “She could have been a bad influence on me.”

“Highly doubtful,” Anna grumbled, grinning like a loon.

Alex and Elizabeth returned, their arms laden with food and drinks, and he raised an eyebrow in my direction as I helped distribute food.

Needless to say, the mood wasn’t quite so heavy, which was a relief. Gordon pulled Elizabeth aside and filled her, age appropriately, on what was happening with Kristen, and then took her back to see her mom.

Once Kristen was settled in her private room, we all had a chance for a visit, albeit a short one, before it was time for us to let her rest. Gordon would stay at the hospital for as long as he could, so Mom and Dad took Elizabeth home with them. I was tasked with packing a bag for Kristen and Elizabeth, which Mom would bring back to the hospital when she brought Gordon dinner, so Alex drove me to Kristen’s home and I went about packing.

Chance, their six-year-old Llasa Aapso, met us at the door and I realized that no one had mentioned what to do with him. “Would you mind grabbing his food from the pantry, honey? His leash and stuff should be on the second shelf. We’ll take him back to my parents’ house and go from there.”

Alex nodded and I gave him a quick outline of the house, before he headed downstairs and I continued to throw things into an overnight bag for Kris. I dropped one bag in the hallway and moved onto Elizabeth’s room. When I turned to grab her makeup, I jumped. Alex was leaning against the doorframe watching me.

“I need to put a bell on you.”

He smiled. “Kinky.”