Rock Chick 04 Renegade (32 page)

The lamp was on by the bed. It was an old iron bed, painted black, a double. The mattresses, though, looked firm and new. There was a down comforter on it covered in a dark brown twil and another Native American blanket thrown over the comforter, light brown pil ow cases over the pil ows. There was a dresser, two nightstands (both with lamps and more books on them) and an old wardrobe (because there was no closet). On the outside wal was another stone-hearth fireplace nearly as big as the living room. The only thing on the wal s was a hide stretched across and stitched tight to a bent piece of wood, an image of an eagle shaved into the fur.

Vance stopped by the bed. He’d already taken off his jacket earlier and now he started to unbutton his shirt.

“Crowe –” I started.

“Take off your dress,” he interrupted me, his voice sharp.

I blinked at him, shocked at his tone.

Then I ral ied. “Can we please talk, just for a few minutes?”

I wasn’t beginning to get freaked. I was ful -on freaked.

It didn’t take an experienced relationship expert to realize he was pissed off and I didn’t understand. If he was pissed off, why did he want me there at al ? It was like he wanted to make this hard on me and I didn’t like that, not about him.

Furthermore, why
was
I there? I’d never agreed to it. I hadn’t even agreed to going to the party with him.

Before I could answer my questions, his hands came away from the last button and he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders and it fel to the floor. Then he captured me by the hips, pul ed me closer and with a swish he had my dress clutched in his fingers and up over my head. Then it was gone.

I was wearing a pair of red satin panties with a little black bow under my navel (one of my new pairs) and no bra.

For a second shock hit me and I stood frozen. Then I covered my breasts with an arm and bent to retrieve my dress.

I’d decided that it was time to
fuck this
. My head-crackin’

mamma jamma was coming out.

There were a lot of things I didn’t need that had come at me in the last few days but Vance being a complete asshole was the biggest one of them al .

Vance caught me as I bent over and pul ed me back up.

“Take your hands off me, Crowe. I’m going home,” I snapped when I was straight and looking at him. His arms were wrapping around me and pul ing me to him.

I tried to push back, they went tight with a jerk and my body slammed into his.

“You aren’t goin’ anywhere.”

“I don’t like this. You’re making me uncomfortable,” I informed him.

“You’l be comfortable in a second when my mouth is between your legs.”

Oh my
God
.

He did
not
just say that.

“You’re an ass!” I shouted. “This is
not
happening.”

“It’s happening Princess. I have one more night of your sweetness and I’m gonna take it.”

“You’re gonna have to
take
it because I’m not
giving
it.”

“You’l give it.”

“Fuck you!” I was stil shouting and now I was pushing away from him.

“Yeah,” he returned, “exactly.”

Then he twisted me. We went down on the bed, him on top and his weight hit me hard.

I struggled, I swear I did, but he got my wrists to the sides of my head and his mouth was on me everywhere and I couldn’t keep it up. I wanted to, I fought it, but I didn’t win.

He kissed me hard and deep then his mouth moved over my neck, to my col arbone, between my breasts, doing amazing things to my nipples. It was just too much. I hated him at first then I hated myself for giving in and then I couldn’t think of anything (certainly not hate) when his mouth kept at me.

He knew when I quit fighting. He let my wrists go and then I pushed him to his back, too turned on to think of running. I did the same to him, just as Daisy told me to do, if he did something I liked, I should do it back.

I went further though, out-of-control turned on, yanking his belt loose, undoing his fly, pul ing his jeans down. I took him in my hand and I kid you not, no experience, nothing but instinct, I took him in my mouth.

I had no idea what I was doing but I just winged it. I did what I liked and I liked what I did and I knew he liked it too because after awhile he started to make low, growling noises.

Then he pul ed me up and to the side, he sat up, yanked off his boots and socks, stood up and pul ed off his jeans. I used that time to push the souls of my shoes against the heels, shoving them off. He bent over me, feet stil on the floor, one hand to the bed beside me. He reached down and dragged off my panties. When they were gone, he spread my legs and then he was there, slamming inside me.

“Vance,” I breathed when he did.

“Say it again,” he demanded against my mouth.

I did.

It was like it was in the hal of my house, hard, fast, deep and I was coming close to orgasm just from the velvet violence of it.

Then al of a sudden his hand glided down the back of my leg, lifted it at the knee and he slid out of me. He rol ed me to my bel y, repositioned between my legs and, hands at my hips, he pul ed me up, just the lower half of my body and then he was inside me again.

I felt a moment of being stunned then it melted away. He could go deeper that way, harder, and God, it felt good. I pushed my hips into him, curled my fingers into the covers at the sides of my head and little mewing noises came from my throat that I couldn’t control.

It would seem impersonal, him being so far away but he didn’t let it. His hands went from my hips, fingertips brushing my behind, the smal of my back, softly then back to hold my hips.

That was al nice even fantastic but better yet the position felt naughty and it was simply, downright
hot
.

I was close, the noises I was making were getting urgent and he pul ed out and flipped me around again. He dropped to his side, his arms went around me then he went to his back, taking me with him, rol ing me on top.

“Don’t stop!” I cried (kind of loud and snappish) but he just stared into my eyes, pul ed my legs up on either side of him, guided himself inside and sat up.

Um.

Wow.

His head was tilted back, eyes stil on me and I looked down at him.

“I wanna see your face when you come,” he murmured.

Um.

Wow, again.

My arms went around his shoulders and immediately I started to move, my mouth at his, we were both breathing hard, not kissing, lips just touching. It didn’t take long before my Grade Nine and Three Quarters bypassed Grade Ten and went straight to Grade Thirteen and a Half.

* * * * *

“I’m cold,” I whispered, face in his neck, lips at his ear.

He reached across the bed and pul ed the blanket over us. I was stil on top, stil astride him, my torso against his, my knees pressed against his sides.

I was trying to quiet my mind.

Once he covered us his arms went back around me and he held me pressed tight against him.

We hadn’t used protection again which was another thing I
did not need
. This time I understood that it was out of either of our control. But we were playing Russian roulette with my ovaries and eventual y my ovaries were going to succumb to the bul et.

Gently he rol ed me to the side, stil under the blanket and he moved away.

“Furnace,” was al he said and he was gone.

I lay there alone, under the blanket while he went to turn on the furnace. I hadn’t realized how cold it was inside but then again it was colder outside and I’d been half frozen when I walked in.

At this though, my mind final y stil ed and that side effect that I thought before was annoying now seemed charming because the ridiculous thoughts didn’t hit me. What just happened came over me in a humiliating rush.

Everyone told me he was a player. He’d get into my panties and even as pissed off as I was and
he
was, he did and I’d let him. I hadn’t begged him with words but my body had done it and I hated myself for it.

I got up, wrapped the blanket around me and was trying to pul my underwear on when he walked in.

He was naked, apparently oblivious to the cold, looking beautiful (as usual). His ponytail had come out somewhere along the way. There was a clean, white bandage wrapped around his thigh where he’d been shot and behind him the house was dark.

“Don’t do that,” he said to me.

“I’m going home,” I told him, stil trying to get the panties up under the big blanket. I was no longer looking at him but anywhere else. “Can I borrow your truck? You can pick it up from the Shelter tomorrow. I’l give May the keys.” He came forward as I was stil fighting with my panties and he hustled me, moving me gently but firmly back, around, over, his arm coming around my waist to hold me to him. He leaned down and flipped back the cover. I wasn’t much use fighting him and trying to keep the blanket around me and my panties in place at the same time. Then my hands gave up on my underwear and they dropped to the floor. I was trying instead to keep hold of the blanket at the same time I was slapping at his hands. I lost that battle too.

He pul ed the blanket away from me, tossed it on the bed, he leaned into me and we went down.

I tried to rol away while he pul ed the comforter back but he caught me and rol ed me to him face-to-face, his arms going around me.

I stil ed and stopped fighting. I knew I wouldn’t win, no matter how many moves I knew.

“I’m going home,” I said, looking at him.

He didn’t say anything.

I closed my eyes tight and dipped my chin so I wouldn’t see his face. Then I opened them again and said what I had to say.

“Please, Vance. I can’t stay here now,” my voice was barely audible, “not after that.”

“What was wrong with that?” he asked.

“It was humiliating.”

It was his turn to stil . “How was it humiliating?”

“Just let me get dressed and go home.”

His hand went into my hair and he tugged at it until my head came back. “Tel me what was humiliating about what we just did?” His voice was quiet, low and I knew he was pissed off again.

“I gave in. I barely fought. You just had to… I don’t know… kiss me and that was it. It’s humiliating.” At my words, his body relaxed and his hand smoothed over my hip. I knew right off that he wasn’t pissed anymore but he wasn’t going to smooth away the Return of the Major Freak Out.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing here!” I cried suddenly.

“I broke up with you this afternoon. Hel , I broke up with you last night!”

“Think hard, Princess, you might come up with an answer.”

“I don’t want an answer,” I said truthful y, shocking myself with my words.

Damn and double damn.

I didn’t need
that
either so I mental y pushed it to the side.

“I didn’t think so,” he murmured, making me think and making me freak out more that he had my number.

“I need to go home,” I said, pul ing back but his arms got tight again.

“I know you need to go home, Jules, but you’re not gonna go home.”

I gave up pul ing away. “Why are you doing this?” I asked, looking at him.

“You want to stop seeing me then you’l stop seeing me, at least this way. I’m not gonna play that game.”

“I’m not playing games,” I snapped, interrupting him, now getting pissed off myself.

“Yeah. You are. You just don’t have enough experience to know you are.”

to know you are.”

My mouth dropped open.

He did
not
just say that.

“I’m not playing games,” I repeated, a little more heatedly this time.

“What were you doin’ with Luke this afternoon?”

“I wasn’t playing a game.”

“Wel Luke was and is and wil continue to do it. And you didn’t get it and won’t get it until you get your head out of your ass.”

No…

Wait.

He did not just say
that
.

“I don’t have my head in my ass, he was
kicking
my ass!”

“He was fuckin’ with your head.”

I pul ed free saying, “I’m going home.”

He caught me, rol ed me to my back and rol ed on me, ful body, hand coming down, pul ing out one of my legs until his hips were settled between both of them.

“Get off me, Crowe,” I demanded, squirming underneath him.

“Stop fightin’, Jules.”

“Get
off
me!”

“Stop fighting!” His voice had risen. I’d never heard his raised voice and my body froze at his tone.

“Don’t yel at me,” I whispered, feeling that weight in my chest again, knowing he was that angry with me and I hated that too.

It felt like these days I was always on the verge of crying and I couldn’t remember the last time I cried.

What was up with that?

He talked over my secondary freak out, further fuel ing the fire of my first. “For Christ’s sake, I’m givin’ you what you want. I don’t know what’s in your fuckin’ head,
you
don’t even know what’s in your fuckin’ head. Until you’re ready to sort it out, it’s gonna stay fucked up and I know enough to know there isn’t a fuckin’ thing I can do about it. So you want this to end, it ends. But tonight is mine. You want to fuck it up further, keep fightin’ me but I’m gonna have you fightin’ or sweet. I don’t care. But Jules, I’m tel in’ you, I’d rather it be sweet.”

I didn’t know what to say to that so I didn’t say anything. I just stayed silent.

He watched me for awhile then he said, “I’d be happy with fightin’ too. If what happened ten minutes ago is any indication, maybe I’d rather it be fightin’.” I didn’t know if he was joking or being serious.