Rock Me: Sexy (New Adult Rockstar Romance) (New Adult Rock Star Erotic Romance) (21 page)

“I’ve got a car waiting. I’ve got to get
out of here. Tonight. I can’t stay.” My explanation was gibberish, but I could
barely think beyond the thought of saying good-bye to Tyler.

Sam left me alone to watch the last song that
I would see Cold Fusion perform. It was
Sweet Oblivion
. Listening to
Tyler sing the words that moved me so much, seemed so surreal. I would carry
that memory with me forever.

When Tyler came off stage, I was still
dabbing wildly at my tears. “Katie, hey.”

“Hi Tyler.”

Tyler looked nervous. Moments earlier, he
had been confident and sure in front of thousands of people. Now he looked so
uncertain of himself. “What’s going on?”

I took a shaky breath. “I just came by to
say good-bye to you. We’re wrapping up the shoots and I’m done with my job. I’m
leaving tonight.”

He looked devastated. “But, there’s still
a few more concerts before the break. I thought…”

I didn’t want Tyler to ever find out what
I had done, that I had sacrificed my career to protect him. He already carried around
enough guilt that didn’t belong to him. He wasn’t responsible for ruining my
career. That was all on me. It was best if he never found out about the tapes.

I put my hand on his arm. “Filming is
winding way down. It doesn’t make sense for me to stick around. The last
episode is practically finished. And I’ve decided I’m not going to re-sign for
the next season, if you guys decide to continue. Reality TV just wasn’t my
thing. I’m going to start in a whole new direction.”

Just like that, his expression went
blank. He looked defeated. “So you’re just leaving?”

“Yes. It’s better this way.” I felt a
tear slide down my cheek. “But I want you to know that I’ll always be a huge
fan of yours. No matter what happens. I’ll
always
be your fan, Tyler.”

The crowd was cheering wildly, waiting
for the encore, but I barely heard the roar as Tyler stared at me. “Don’t go
yet. I need to talk to you. Just wait till I’m finished with the show.”

I looked at him imploringly. “It’s better
for
me
if I just go.”

Alex dragged him away, back to the stage.
“C’mon Tyler. Talk later. We gotta get back out there.”

I spun around immediately. I didn’t want
to see the hurt look on his face for one more second. Somehow, through my
tears, I made my way through the jumbled backstage maze of the arena and out to
my waiting cab. On autopilot, I checked into the hotel and stumbled up to my
room.

I opened my bottle of wine and found a
glass in the bathroom. It was good enough. I finished my first glass in record
time. Gratefully, I realized that the wine was already working its wonders,
because I hadn’t eaten all day. Months ago, I had started out my journey on
Rock Star Diaries with a few glasses of wine and an empty stomach. It was
fitting that this was how my journey would end.

I poured another glass. There was one
thing I needed to do before I could allow myself to fully embrace my heartache
and sorrow. I needed to watch the video. I fired up my laptop and inserted the
memory stick. The video player popped up and I clicked on the file.

I felt numb as I watched Cassie telling
Tyler about the baby. I watched Tyler looking confused and disbelieving at
first, then trying to grapple with the situation as best he could. I finished
the wine and poured a new glass. I watched the video again rather
dispassionately, almost like I was studying it. The wine was working. One more
viewing and I would destroy this last remnant of video that had changed my life
forever. I sat at the small table and watched the video one last time as I slowly
drained my glass again.

The video ended. But the hurt was still
there. My head collapsed against the table as I cried into my arms. Damn wine
wasn’t working.

Tyler barely made it through the encore.
Alex had to step up and help him when he lost track of where he was in the
first song. He tried to focus during the second song, but he just kept thinking
that he should have gone after Katie. She didn’t get to just fucking walk away
like that.

Tyler left the stage quickly. He was
hoping that she was still there, waiting like he had asked.

He saw his bodyguard standing to the
side, having a smoke. “Sam, have you seen Katie?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah. She seemed pretty
upset. She said she was leaving.”

“Do you have your phone? Can you call
her?” Tyler had a feeling she would ignore his calls.

Sam pulled out his phone. “Sure man. Let
me see.” He punched in her number and then listened for a minute. “Straight to
voicemail.”

Tyler was pissed now. “Damn.”

Sam took a drag of his cigarette watching
Tyler. “Look, she seemed pretty broken up about leaving you. I know you two
are, uh, close. Are you two fighting?”

“No, we’re not fighting. Her job is done,
I guess. She’s just walking away.” Tyler shook his head. Why was he too stupid
not to see this coming?

Sam sized him up. “Something didn’t seem
right about it. I’m suspicious by nature, comes with the job. Anyway, I talked
to her cabbie, just in case. I know where he was taking her.”

“What! Where?” Tyler felt adrenaline buzzing
through his veins.

Sam threw down his cigarette and crushed
it with his shoe. “Parkside Suites. On Bellamy Drive. I can get you a car.”

Forty minutes later, Tyler was at the
hotel. Katie wasn’t answering the door to her room or her phone. He wasn’t
going to let her leave town without talking to her.

He went down to the reception desk with a
half-baked idea in his head. He smiled at the cute girl. “Hey. My name is Tyler
Matthews and my Producer booked a room for me here under her name for privacy,
but she forgot to give me the key.”

The girl’s face lit up. “Oh my God. You
are Tyler Matthews, aren’t you? I knew you were playing the concert tonight, a
lot of my friends are there, but I didn’t know you were staying here! Wait
until they find out!”

Tyler smiled. “Yeah. Let’s keep it a
secret for now though. Otherwise, I’ll be mobbed by people.”

“Oh sure. Of course. Can I get your
autograph? Oh my God! And a picture? That would be so awesome.”

Tyler felt his jaw clenching. “Yeah, no
problem. If you can help me out with my room?”

He autographed a pink piece of paper for
her and then she snapped a photo. She was still squealing over the picture on
her phone, when he cleared his throat. “Um – Can I get a room key?”

She slid to the computer. “What name was
it under again?”

“Kaitlyn Winston.”

She typed in the name. “Right. Yep, she
was just here about an hour ago. I remember. Okay, let me activate a key for
you.”

It was as simple as that.

He made it up to her room a few minutes
later and knocked. There was still no answer, so he slid the key through the
slot and entered.

He saw Katie right away. She was slumped over
the small wooden table, in front of her laptop, which was next to a nearly
empty bottle of wine. She was passed out.

He tapped gently on her shoulder, but she
didn’t budge. She was out cold. Maybe he would stay with her tonight and make
sure she was okay. He decided to carry her over to the bed so that she’d be
more comfortable, but as he hoisted her up, he bumped his leg hard against the
table. The screen on her laptop flashed on. He stared at the screen for a
moment, a strange buzzing sensation filling his ears. A still image of him
hugging Cassie appeared at the center of the screen.

His blood ran cold. He carried Katie over
to the bed and laid her down.
What the fuck was on that computer?
He
went back to the little table and sat. With a sickening sense of dread he
dragged the cursor over to the triangle ‘play’ button on the screen and
clicked.

He watched with growing revulsion as that
horrible scene was replayed right before his eyes. But this time it was worse.
Much, much worse. Because Katie had secretly recorded it. For Rock Star
Diaries. And she was going to use it to make the show a huge fucking success,
like she always wanted to do. She had betrayed him. Betrayed their friendship- their
whatever the fuck it was that they had. All for the fucking show.
It had
been about the fucking show all along.

He wanted to throw shit around. Climb on
top of her and shake her until she woke up so that he could scream at her. Go
into a complete blinding rage.

But he didn’t. The laptop screen went
black again. Tyler stood up and walked away without looking back.

The consequences of my actions caught up
to me rather quickly. Thornton terminated my contract and sicced his lawyers on
me as soon as he found out what I had done. With Hugo’s help, I retained a
horrifically expensive lawyer to advise and defend me, if necessary. Hugo told
me to lie low for a bit; Thornton was on a rampage. So, with potential
financial ruin looming in my future, I sold my expensive New York City
apartment and moved in with my sister’s and her family in West Virginia.

I couldn’t just sit around doing nothing,
it wasn’t in my nature, but my attempts at rebuilding my career were pathetic. My
name was now toxic in the film industry, so I spent day and night trying to
figure out my next steps. I had the crazy idea that I could produce independent
films and start slowly making a name for myself. I was willing to offer my
services for free, and with my experience, that was a hell of a deal. In the
course of three weeks, I met with four aspiring indie filmmakers. It was a
disaster. Each filmmaker thought their movie was going to be the next best
thing. In reality, they were pieces of crap that I didn’t want to touch with a
ten-foot pole. I was feeling hopeless about my predicament, but I never
regretted my decision.

My biggest regret was losing Tyler in all
this mess. Not that I ever really had him, but there had been something between
us. Hell, I loved him still. Even if he was about to have a baby with another
woman.

When I had said good-bye to Tyler at the
concert, I had thought a clean break would be the best thing. I didn’t want him
to find out about the video. And I was still reeling from the baby news. I
thought I could leave him and move on with my life. That he would accept his
responsibilities to Cassie and maybe even marry her. I knew what he had to be
thinking after watching his sister go through so much heartache raising Hailey
alone.

But I couldn’t let go of him. I didn’t
want to. My sister was getting tired of hearing about Tyler. I had every
current episode of Rock Star Diaries on the DVR and I watched them constantly.
My sister’s comments had gone from ‘
I can’t believe you slept with that
guy!’
to ‘
I don’t know what you see in him beyond his looks – he’s
a slimeball’
within a matter of days. I had argued that he was portrayed
that way on purpose, but that he was in reality quite different. I didn’t
really blame her for rolling her eyes at me; I was the one who had portrayed
Tyler like that.

When I had first settled down at my
sister’s house, after running scared from Thornton’s wrath for a week, I had
called Tyler and left a message. I was missing him so much. He was on break
from tour and I even fantasized that he would hear my voice, tell me how much
he missed me and beg me to come to him. I would have dropped everything that
very second.

Instead, it had been crushing when he
didn’t even bother to call me back. I tried back several times, always leaving
a message. But he never returned my calls. He had moved on.

When it aired, I watched Episode 6 of
Rock Star Diaries with great trepidation. What if I had missed something? What
if the video had survived somehow and aired on the show? My stomach twisted
with nerves. I recognized most of the episode. It was exactly the way I had
left it. The last ten minutes had me so nauseous I could barely watch.

I was so nervous, but there was no sign
of Tyler or Cassie. The ending focused on some tension between Alex and Tommy.
A few different scenes had been spliced together with judicious editing to look
seamless. It looked like they were fighting over a girl. I watched the credits
roll with enormous relief. The ending wasn’t that dynamic. A bit flat even, but
it was extremely satisfying to me. Apparently, I had found all the tape after
all. I had done my job well.

***

As the mania surrounding Rock Star
Diaries increased with the airing of each new episode, Tyler had grown even
more withdrawn from the world. He knew what was coming.

Katie had finally stopped leaving him
messages. Did that psycho really think that he would be able to brush off what
she did to him? Her secret was only safe for a few more days, until Episode 6
aired. Then the world would know that he was about to become a father. And her
deceit and betrayal would be displayed in all its hideous detail.