Rock My World (11 page)

And if you had real boobs, you probably could, too.
But again he resisted the temptation and kept his mouth shut.

After more music and giveaways, Bonnie instigated a hula contest. Remembering her earlier comment about his shirt, he silently wondered what was so Australian about the hula. In any case, she had an appreciative audience as she wiggled and swayed on the stage, and Outback Charlie himself came up to applaud her performance.

Music, weather, traffic, news. Before he knew it, they were halfway through the show. Ray approached him and Erica, order pad in hand. “Great show, guys. You ready for some dinner?”

“Sounds good. Ray, this is my co-host, Erica Gibson. This is an old friend of mine, Ray Kingston.”

Erica offered her hand. “Nice to meet you, Ray.”

“Same here.” He gestured to the order pad. “So what can I get you? The burgers are good. So’s the fish tacos.”

“I’ll try a burger,” she said.

“Same here.”

Ray noted their orders, then looked around. “What about the other lady?”

“Bonnie?” Adam looked around and spotted her at a table of businessmen. She was leaning over, signing autographs. The men weren’t exactly drooling, but they were close. “She’s over there at that table. Go ask her what she wants.” At Ray’s hesitant look he added, “Go on. She won’t bite.”

“Are you sure?” Erica asked when Ray had left.

“Not really.” He picked up a list of e-mail addresses they’d collected from the audience and pretended to flip through it, trying not to notice how close she was standing, or how good she smelled, or how great her legs
looked in her high-cut swimsuit. But he could feel her eyes on him.

“I like that shirt,” she said. “Is that from your surfer days?”

Did she mean to remind him of the confidences they’d shared at the Furniture Gallery? “Nah, I bought this a couple of days ago for this gig. Thought I’d better look the part. Not that anyone is looking at me.”

“No, they’re all staring at Bonnie.”

“Not all of them. I’ve caught a few eyes following you.”

“What about you? Have you been looking at me?”

His eyes met hers. A mistake. Her gaze was steady, searching, asking more than her words implied. He cleared his throat. “Yes. I always look at you.”

She licked her lips, sending heat slashing straight to his groin. “What do you think the chances would be of getting Carl to change his no-dating rule?”

“After what happened with Bonnie?” He shook his head. “Not a chance.”

“It’s not fair. We’re adults. We ought to be able to do what we like after hours.”

“It’s what that can lead to on the air he’s worried about.”

“I’m not like Bonnie.”

“Thank God.”

At that moment, he was distracted by the bombshell herself. She’d retreated to an alcove, away from her fans, but her words carried to the stage. “You idiot. What do you mean interrupting me when I’m working? You’ve already annoyed me once today. Do it again and I’ll see that you’re fired.”

Ray cowered before her, his order pad clutched to his chest. He stammered an apology, but Bonnie didn’t hear.

Adam hurried to intervene. If Bonnie screwed things up for Ray, so help him he’d let her have it. She’d wish she’d never heard of the Hawk by the time he was through telling her exactly what he thought of her. “He was just trying to take our dinner orders.” He took her arm and steered her away from the waiter.

“He interrupted me while I was talking to my fans,” she said.

“An honest mistake. Now what do you want to eat?”

“A shrimp cocktail. And make sure the shrimp are fresh.”

Adam nodded to Ray, who scribbled on his order pad, then hurried toward the kitchen. Bonnie glared after him. Great. He’d found the perfect hell, caught between a woman who hated his guts and another he wanted to love, but didn’t dare.

E
RICA SAW
A
DAM
and Bonnie glaring at each other up on stage and felt the tension across the room. What was it with those two? Yes, Bonnie could be hard to deal with, but Adam needed to learn to handle her with kid gloves. Erica hurried forward to defuse the situation. “Bonnie, you were great during the hula contest,” she said, inserting herself between her two co-workers. “Where did you learn to dance like that?”

Bonnie pulled her gaze away from Adam and smoothed her hair. “I never had a lesson. It’s just knowing how to move your body.”

“Maybe you could show me a few things sometime.”

Bonnie looked her up and down. There was something predatory in the look that made Erica’s skin crawl, but she kept a smile on her face. “Maybe I could.”

She started to turn away, but Erica followed. “I’ve been wondering something,” she said.

“What’s that?”

“How did you get involved in radio? I mean, with your looks and…and your personality, you’d seem a natural for television.”

The effect of the question was astonishing, Bonnie’s expression softened and her smile seemed genuine. “You think so? I actually started out in television. A little station in Texas. I hosted a kiddie show.” She giggled. “Can you believe it? But what I really wanted was to break into local news. I’d have been a perfect weather girl, don’t you think?”

“You would.” Erica could just see Bonnie, pointing out storm systems on a weather map while posturing for the camera.

“I was waiting for my chance when this guy I was dating offered me a place on his radio show. And I guess I put the TV stuff on hold for a while.” She looked around the crowded restaurant. “This is kind of fun, though, don’t you think? I like live appearances a lot better than being stuck in a studio, behind a mic.”

“You’re a natural.”

“We’re going to take a short break here, but enjoy the music and we’ll be back shortly with more of the Hawk and Honey show with Bombshell Bonnie, live from Outback Charlie’s Bar and Grill. Meanwhile, try one of Outback Charlie’s dynamite Down Under specials like Shrimp Bloody Bay or Barrier Reef Fish Tacos.”

“Let’s go get some food,” Erica said as Ray headed toward them carrying a loaded tray. “I’m starved.”

Adam pulled a table close to the stage and helped Ray unload his tray. With shaking hands, the waiter placed the shrimp cocktail in front of Bonnie. “Is the shrimp fresh?” she asked, eyeing the dish suspiciously.

“I—I believe the shrimp were frozen. But I saw the cook boil them just for you.”

“Frozen shrimp aren’t fresh.” She shoved the cocktail away. “Bring me some fresh ones.”

Ray glanced at Adam and Erica, then looked back at Bonnie. “I don’t think we have any fresh shrimp. Everything is frozen.”

“Did I ask you to argue with me? Go get my order.”

“Bonnie, stop it.” Adam’s voice cut through the tension. “The man can’t serve you something that isn’t on the menu.”

“Is there a problem here?” Outback Charlie hurried to their table. “Is there something I can get you, Bonnie?”

“This waiter screwed up my order.”

“He did not.” Adam turned to Charlie. “Bonnie didn’t know the shrimp were previously frozen.”

“I asked for fresh. He told me it was fresh. He lied.”

Ray opened his mouth to defend himself, but Charlie cut him off. “I warned you. One screwup and you were out the door. Now, go.”

Adam stood abruptly. “He didn’t do anything wrong.” He glared at Bonnie. “Bonnie enjoys causing trouble.”

“If he upset the lady, that’s enough reason for me to let him go.”

“Don’t.” Adam softened his voice, though his knuckles whitened around the fork he still held. “Give the guy a break. I can vouch for him.”

Charlie looked surprised. “You know him?”

Adam nodded. “We’ve known each other for a few years.” He glanced at Ray, whose expression had changed to wariness. “He’s a good guy. You won’t regret keeping him on.”

“I don’t know about that.” He frowned at Ray. “I wanted to help a guy out, you know. But you worry with a guy like that. What if he starts stealing or something.”

“I don’t steal,” Ray said. “I never stole.”

Erica looked from one man to another. Something else was going on here, something more than Adam defending a waiter from Bonnie’s wrath. What did Charlie mean
a guy like that?
Ray looked ordinary enough to her.

“Just because somebody has a record doesn’t mean they’ll steal or do anything else to jeopardize their job.” The lines around Adam’s mouth tightened. “Believe me, most people don’t want to go back to jail.”

“How do you know?” Charlie countered. “How many ex-cons who went straight do you know?”

“A few.” He glanced at Ray again. The waiter was staring at him, eyes dark with hurt and anger. Adam looked at Charlie again. “Me, for instance. I was in prison with Ray, and I don’t ever intend to go back. He doesn’t, either, that’s how I know you can trust him.”

Erica stared at him, until the edges of her vision went gray. As if from a very long way away, she heard Bonnie gasp. “You’re a con, too?” Charlie asked.

“An ex-con. I did my time and I’ve gone straight. Like Ray here.”

Charlie shook his head. “Who’d’ve thought?” He gave Adam a hard look. “I never heard you say anything about that on the radio.”

“It’s not the kind of thing that comes up much in casual conversation.”

Charlie looked at Ray again. “Okay. One more chance. Don’t blow it.”

“Thanks.” He spoke through clenched teeth. Erica wondered how much pride he swallowed to say it. With a stiff nod, he left their table.

Adam sat back down and picked up his burger. No one else moved.

He put the burger back down. “What?”

“You were in prison?” Bonnie was clearly horrified. “You never told me.”

“It was none of your business.” He glanced at Erica, then back at Bonnie. “It was in California, before I came here. It’s over.”

“Oh God.” She sprang from the table and fled.

Charlie stood. “I’ll go see if she’s all right.”

When the two of them were alone, Erica tried to eat, but she couldn’t get the haunted look in Ray’s eyes out of her head. Had Adam ever looked like that? She pushed her plate aside. “That was really something,” she said. “You sticking up for Ray that way.”

He popped a French fry into his mouth and chewed, a closed expression on his face. “Go ahead and ask.”

“Ask what?” She flushed.

“The six million dollar question. What was I in for?”

“Okay. What were you in for?”

“Drugs. Coke. Blow. I had a big habit back then. Dealt some on the side. It was a big mistake.”

“That was what you were talking about, when you said you got in big trouble at your last job?”

He nodded. “Nobody wanted me to work for them when I got out. Carl gave me a chance.” His eyes met hers. “So you see why I can’t mess it up.”

“I see.” She looked at her lap. She loved Adam partly because he was hardworking and a straight-arrow and…and decent. But those same qualities were also the ones keeping them apart.

Adam didn’t want to screw up. Which left her…screwed.

S
ILENCE STRETCHED
between Erica and Adam like a high tension wire about to snap. He struggled to come up with something to say to get them back to the easy friendship they’d known. This was why he hadn’t told her this part of his past before. She’d never look at him the same way again. He understood, but that didn’t make it any easier to take.

She pushed her chair back and stood, not looking at him. “I think I’ll go freshen up before we go back on air.”

He watched her leave, a sick feeling in his stomach. He’d wanted to put some distance between them, and revealing his past had done the trick. But he hadn’t imagined how much her rejection would hurt. He’d wanted to think she was different, that what he did or what he’d been didn’t matter as much as who he was inside.

No such luck.

He wrapped up the uneaten quarter of his burger and took it to the trash. He wouldn’t be surprised if Charlie didn’t try to call off the rest of the gig. Carl would go ballistic. Adam would be lucky to keep his job.

His lips formed a tight smile. Wouldn’t that be ironic? If Carl let him go, he’d be free to date Erica. Except that after today, she probably wouldn’t want anything to do with him.

Mason sent a note that it was time for them to go back on the air. Adam put on his headset and prepared to wow the audience with classic Hawk persona—the trivia God, the thinker, the man for whom music was his life.

“Welcome back to this special edition of the Hawk and Honey show on KROK. We’re broadcasting live from Outback Charlie’s Bar and Grill. Bombshell Bonnie is here with me and Erica, so stop by and say hello. Enjoy the great food and drinks from Outback Charlie’s and participate to win some prizes.”

A rowdy group of five men entered and took a table near the stage. They waved and called to Bonnie, who made her way to their table. “Hello, boys,” she drawled in her best Mae West imitation. “Did y’all come out to see me?”

“We sure did, gorgeous.” One of the men stood and began dancing to the music. “Let’s dance.”

Bonnie obliged, doing an exaggerated bump and grind that had all the tables around her cheering. Erica joined Adam on stage. “How long before she does a table dance?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I never put anything past Bonnie.”

She leaned closer, her voice low. “Hey, you okay?”

Why was she asking? Did he not look okay? “What do you mean?”

“You seem kind of distracted.”

Who wouldn’t be?
But maybe she thought he was supposed to be Mr. Cool all the time. A hard case. Nothing ever affected him. “I’m fine.”

“I thought maybe what happened at dinner upset you.”

“Why would it upset me?”
I only spilled my guts, shocked my so-called friends into silence and jeopardized my job.

She shrugged. “You know, brought back bad memories or something.”

She didn’t know the half of it. But it wasn’t memories that dogged him. It was frustration about the future. Was his past always going to affect the rest of his life? Without a record hanging over his head, would he have risked an affair with Erica? He might have. Maybe he’d have faced down Carl and told him his no-dating rule was stupid and unfair. Or maybe he’d have had the confidence to get a job at another station if Carl fired him.

Now that she knew Adam was an ex-con, was Erica even still interested in him? Her sudden coolness at the dinner table after his revelation told him she probably wasn’t. “I’m fine,” he said again.

She gave him a puzzled look and turned away. “That was Jack Johnson,” she announced. “Happy hour’s in full swing here at Outback Charlie’s, so come on down and join us. We’ve got two-for-one margaritas, Foster’s beer and appetizers. And the KROK crew will be here until seven o’clock giving away prizes and playing music.”

“I’m going to take a break,” he told her, and headed off the stage. Ray stopped him outside the men’s room. He’d changed out of his Outback Charlie’s polo into a black button-down shirt. “Are you leaving?” Adam
asked. Had his big confession been a complete waste? Had Charlie fired Ray after all?

“My shift’s over. Thanks for taking up for me this afternoon. If it weren’t for you, I’d be out of a job.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I couldn’t let that slide.”

“Sure you could have. Big radio personality. You didn’t have to tell everyone you’d done time.”

Adam rubbed the back of his neck, where a headache was building. “Yeah, well, it’s part of my life. You don’t ever really leave it behind.”

“Tell me about it. So, everything cool? I mean, with your job and everything?”

“It’s all right.” He clapped Ray on the shoulder. “Hang in there.”

“I will. You, too.”

They said goodbye and he stood in the hallway outside the rest-rooms and looked toward the stage. Erica was leading the audience in a singalong to “Margaritaville.” She looked fantastic, dancing around the stage, her face lit by a smile. Watching her, he felt a hollowness in his gut.

Like the ache he had sometimes when he was doing drugs—a wanting so strong he couldn’t fight it. Back then it meant he’d go out and score another hit. But he couldn’t do that with Erica. He had Carl to think about, and the repercussions of the revelation he’d made at dinner.

Worse, a bad feeling dogged him, one he couldn’t push away. What if she didn’t want him anymore?

B
Y THE TIME
they finished at Outback Charlie’s and headed back to the station, Erica had moved from
shocked to sad to outright annoyed. Ever since his big revelation about his past, Adam had said hardly two words to her. As if, now that she knew this about him, he was determined to shut her out even further.

Maybe Tanisha was right. Maybe Adam had problems Erica couldn’t solve. Maybe he wasn’t worth wasting so much emotional energy on.

But what about those magic moments in the dark at the Furniture Gallery? She’d seen another side to the aloof intellectual then. She’d discovered a man of great tenderness and passion. A man she wasn’t ready to let go.

She pulled into the parking lot of KROK and sat staring at the building. Adam had gone straight home. Bonnie was probably still flirting with Outback Charlie. That left Erica to drop off the list of e-mail addresses and other paperwork from the gig. Not that she minded. The last thing she wanted right now was to go home to her empty apartment, where she’d do nothing but worry about Adam.

Would he be at home worrying about her? Or was he truly that rare person who preferred to be alone? He had cultivated that image, but, having glimpsed another side of him at the Furniture Gallery, she wasn’t so sure.

There had to be some way to get through to him. Damn Carl’s stupid rule. What job was worth being miserable during your time off? She got out of the car and headed toward the building, an idea growing in her mind. If she wasn’t having any luck pursuing Adam at work, maybe it was time to move to less neutral territory. Away from work, he wouldn’t be able to hide behind the microphone, or use their unseen listeners as an excuse for not admitting his true feelings.

With this in mind, she headed down the stairs, where she found Tanisha packing up to head home. “I hope you haven’t shut down your computer yet,” Erica said.

Tanisha looked up from stuffing papers into an overflowing tote bag. “I have. Why?”

“I need you to find Adam’s home address for me.”

“I’m not supposed to give out employees’ personal information,” she said, even as she hit the button to reboot her computer.

“I won’t tell a soul.” She dragged a chair over beside Tanisha’s and studied the monitor.

“So what’s up with you two?” Tanisha said. “On air, everything sounds copasetic.”

Erica shook her head. “On the air, we get along great. But he refuses to have anything to do with me outside of the show.”

“Wait a minute. I thought you two really hit it off.” The desktop screen came up and she selected the database program.

“We did. Even he admits that. But there’s Carl’s stupid rule about on-air personalities not dating.”

Tanisha nodded. “He doesn’t want to risk his job. Something maybe you should think about.”

“I’ve thought about it, and I still don’t see why I can’t have the job I want
and
the man I want.”

“So this is really all about you.” Tanisha looked amused.

Erica squirmed in her chair. “So I’m selfish. What’s so bad about that?” She’d been called worse in her life. And it could be said her impulsiveness stemmed from a desire for immediate gratification. “But it’s about Adam, too. He’s not happy.” Watching him go through
the motions of doing the show after his big confession at dinner, she’d wanted more than anything to throw her arms around him and tell him everything was all right. She could see him putting up walls, determined to be so damned
strong
. It hurt to think he didn’t feel he could be himself, even around her.

“And you think you could make him happy?” Tanisha asked.

Erica nodded. “We could make each other happy.”

Tanisha scrolled through a list of records, and clicked on Adam’s name. “So what are you going to do—go out to his house and demand he sleep with you?”

“I’m going to demand he talk to me. Really talk.” Of course, the only time Adam let down his guard was in bed. “If that leads to other things…that would be fine with me.”

“Okay, here’s the addy. Twenty-one forty-three Clarkson. That’s in Morrison.”

Erica snatched a sheet of paper from the printer and scribbled the address. “Thanks.”

“Sure. Buy me a drink later.”

“We could get together tomorrow night.”

“Uh-uh. I’ve got plans.” A knowing smile tugged at her lips.

“What kind of plans?”

“I’m going to take your advice, and try that little harem girl outfit out on my new guy.”

Erica laughed. “Then you will be busy. Have fun.”

“You, too.”

Erica debated going home to change clothes, but decided to head straight to Adam’s, before she lost her
nerve. After consulting a map and making a couple of wrong turns, she found his home on a quiet street tucked beneath a red rock cliff. She pulled into the driveway behind his Jeep and cut the engine.

She hoped she was doing the right thing. After tonight, Adam would either accept the fact that there was a connection between them worth exploring, or he would shut her out of his life altogether.

She checked her hair in the rearview mirror, then got out of the car and made her way up the front walk. She rang the bell and waited. And waited. Frowning, she rang again, and tried to peer in the window beside the door. His Jeep was in the driveway, so he had to be home, right? Unless he’d gone out with a friend. A date, even…

The thought made her feel queasy. Maybe she
was
making a mistake coming here. What if she’d misread him? What if their so-called “connection” was entirely one-sided? What if this
was
all about her and there was no
them?

She almost fell as the door was jerked open and Adam stood there, dripping wet, clad only in a towel around his waist. “Erica? What are you doing here?”

She tried to ignore the way water droplets sparkled in his chest hair, or the wet sheen of his muscular shoulders. Her gaze involuntarily dropped to the towel. A rather small towel. Not really large enough to cover much…

“Erica? Is something wrong?”

Only lust jamming all my brain cells.
She managed a weak smile. “You and I need to talk.”

His mouth tightened, but after a moment’s hesitation, he nodded. “You’d better come in.”

She followed him into a dimly lit living room. A pair of black leather sofas faced each other across an oriental rug. An entertainment center, complete with a big-screen TV, filled one wall, while a rock fireplace sat between floor to ceiling windows on the opposite wall. “Nice place,” she said.

“Make yourself at home. I’ll go get dressed.” He headed toward a doorway leading to the rest of the house, his bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor.

“Don’t go to any trouble on my account,” she called after him. “What you have on looks fine to me.”

While he was gone, she looked around the room. It was comfortable, classy even. She trailed her finger through the dust on the mantel. Definitely a bachelor pad. A bookcase in one corner held a collection of popular novels, rock history books and a few outdoor guides. The magazines on the coffee table ranged from
Rolling Stone
to
Backpacker.
But there were no photographs anywhere. In fact, the walls were mostly bare, except for a single watercolor over one sofa, the kind of thing you might buy at any furniture store, a last-minute accessory purchased without much thought.

She was seated on one of the sofas, flipping through an old issue of
Guitar
magazine when he returned. He’d changed into jeans and a cotton shirt that he left un-tucked. He was still barefoot. His hair was damp, curling up at the neckline of his shirt. He reminded her of the way he’d been at the Furniture Gallery. Casual. Relaxed.

He sat on the sofa opposite her. “What do you think we need to talk about that we haven’t already said?”

“You’ve done a lot of talking, but I don’t feel like you’ve really listened to me.” She got up and crossed over to sit beside him. “And I have some questions for you.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at her. “I’m not promising I’ll answer.”

“Those nights we spent together at the furniture gallery, after everyone else was gone, I felt so close to you. Even when we were only talking, I saw a side of you you’d never revealed at work.” She looked around the room, at the comfortable furniture but lack of real personal details. “You seemed to really relax with me, more than you do at the station, where you’ve always kept to yourself. Why is that, do you think?”

“You’re an easy person to be with.” He uncrossed his arms and rested his hands on his thighs. “And I’m probably not as uptight when I’m turned on.”

“So you admit I turn you on.” She leaned toward him, her tone teasing.

The heat that flared in his eyes was unmistakable. “I don’t think there’s ever been any doubt of that.”