Rocky Retreat (3 page)

She shook her head. “I knew there would be no phone reception up here, so I prearranged in case of an emergency. No one expects me until Saturday, although if conditions aren’t better by then, I’m pretty sure Connie will send a rescue team.”

Lee nodded. “That’s about the time people will look for me. Cell service is always a potshot when we’re out in the fields, so no one worries if I don’t call.”

Her sense of helplessness would have been far higher if she’d been stuck in the storm alone. “Then we have nothing to worry about.”

Nothing except the fact they were in a teeny cabin for the next four days, and the total furniture amounted to two wooden chairs, a small rectangular wooden table, and one bed. No way could she demand he bunk down on the floor when she knew there were limited blankets in the cabin. She’d made sure to bring her warmest sleeping bag to deal with the cold temperatures. She doubted he had anything like that in his backpack.

Some of her concern must have shown, because strong fingers closed around her chin, dragging her attention up until she was staring into his cobalt-blue eyes.

“Hey, we’ll be okay.”

“Of course we will.” Heat sizzled along her jaw, tingles spreading like a net over her entire body from one point of contact. She concentrated hard to pretend nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

His eyes were fixed on her lips, and she swallowed hard, desperate to get some moisture into her suddenly dry mouth. His expression flashed to hunger again, his desire growing clearer the longer they stared at each other.

She’d always known he was attracted to her, i.e., he’d asked her out far too many times for it to have been a game like she’d first suspected. While she thought he was good looking, he’d never been a real candidate for her because of his age. She didn’t want to be accused of robbing the cradle, so in spite of being intrigued she’d pushed her own attraction away and denied it existed.

It didn’t seem right that here and now—when the whole reason for her escape into the wilderness had been to burn off the remaining pain caused by her soon-to-be ex-husband—it didn’t seem right her libido picked
now
to kick into overdrive.

“Rachel…”

His tone was deeper and gentler than it had been, and warning alarms went off in her brain. She was one step closer to the edge than she wanted to be, and making a smart choice about Lee at this moment was impossible.

Avoiding the decision seemed much safer.

She stole the cards from his fingers. “Crazy eights.”

The moment of tension between them slid off high as he nodded, picking up his mug and taking a sip. “Another game I’m a whiz at. Prepare to lose.”

Four hands later, she went to deal and tipped over her coffee mug, scrambling to catch it before the liquid went everywhere. “Damn.”

Lee was on his feet, grabbing a small hand towel to mop up the mess. “It’s okay. It’s cheap whiskey.”

Her laughter died away as he picked up the photo album she’d forgotten on the table. The pristine cover had soaked up some of the golden liquid and the fabric was no longer creamy white—and she sucked in a breath as reality hit.

She wasn’t living the dream-world happily-ever-after life that she thought she’d been promised. In fact, she was so far from it there didn’t seem to be a map in the world that could help her find her way back.

Her throat tightened as she snatched away the album, ripping it from his fingers. For a moment she stood there, not certain what the next step was. If she could have stuck the entire thing into the fireplace, she would’ve.

“Rachel.”

She couldn’t swallow. She could barely breathe. She threw the album against his chest, letting go before he’d had a chance to get a good grip, as if the cover had burnt her fingers. “I don’t want it. Get rid of it.”

“Rach—”

“Now,” she shouted. “I don’t want to see it ever again in my life.”

She wasn’t sure what he did at that point, and she didn’t care, because her legs moved of their own accord, carrying her toward the window. She refused to look him in the face. Refused to see pity in his eyes. She stared into the darkness, hands clenched into fists.

It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much anymore.

Behind her, rustling noises faded as Lee did something with the pile of hurtful memories she’d literally tossed at him. She attempted to take long, controlled breaths, only they came out in horrid rasps, as if her insides were being shredded.

For a big man he moved silently. One hand settled on her shoulder, the warmth of it seeping through her sweatshirt, the weight steadying her.

“I’m sorry.”

Kindness would’ve been hard to accept, sympathy might’ve made her mad. But hearing frustration and anger in his voice was the final straw. No way she could hold it together after that.

She whirled on him, her heart pounding all over again. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair that you’re here, and I don’t get a chance to cry and get this out of my system as if it never happened, so if I’m a little snappy, you’ll just have to deal with it.”

He should have shouted back at her. She would have understood, but damn if he didn’t wrap his arms around her instead, pulling her close. He pressed a hand to the back of her head and brought her against that impossibly muscular chest. Under her ear, his heart pounded loudly enough to vibrate through her, his hands holding her in place when she would’ve wiggled away, although she had no idea where she might have gone.

She was trapped in the center of the most accepting and comforting hug she’d had in a long time, and somehow that only made it worse.

Her tears fell unchecked. Silent and scalding hot as her bitterness rose up to be washed away. His fingers slid through her hair as he let her use him as a crying post. His arm kept her tight to his warmth, offering an oasis in the midst of the chill around them.

And still tears fell. Slipping from her until she thought there could be nothing left, and yet there were more.

“Sor-r-ry.” She wasn’t sure which part she was apologizing for in between struggling for air. The tears or the whole stupid mess.

“It’s okay to cry,” he urged, stroking her hair, easing his position and bringing her closer. “Let it out, and let it go. You’re going to be fine, Rachel. You’re going to be
more
than fine.”

She dragged in another ragged breath, her body shaking as she fought for control. “I’ve been such a fool.”

He shook his head. “That’s the one thing you’re not. Maybe you’re too much of an optimist, or too much of a romantic. But a fool? Instead of being here in this cabin, drenching us both, a fool would be back with Gary letting him break your heart for the rest of your life.”

So much for having to explain anything. “I guess this means everyone in Rocky Mountain House knows what happened.”

“Maybe. Those of us who care about you do, and we’re the only ones who count.”

Others would gloat or find ways to rub it in that she’d been so happy, and yet fallen so fast.

He pressed his fingers under her chin and tilted her head back until their gazes met. Seriousness cloaked his face, his eyes like cobalt magnets locking her in place as he spoke again. “He didn’t do what’s right by you, and you reacted by giving him what he deserved, and neither of those things make
you
foolish,”

“Made me cry my heart out,” she complained. “But I meant more back in the beginning. Back when I didn’t see what kind of man Gary was. That’s what makes me a fool.”

Lee took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. With their bodies still in contact she found herself synchronizing her movements to his, soaking in the soothing comfort of being draped in his warmth.

His words caressed her like a warm wind. “I think my daddy would say that’s not the direction you need to look.”

Rachel fought for and regained the last bit of control she needed, pulling away as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Your daddy’s a smart man.”

She cleaned herself up using some of the precious tissue she’d brought along. Lee pretended to tidy things at the small counter, and she was grateful for the moment to recover her calm. It was awkward with Lee here, but then again, his presence was far more bearable than anyone else’s would have been.

She opened the stove and tossed in her used tissues. They didn’t burn nearly as quickly as the photos had, and amusement trickled its way through her as some of her old upbeat attitude broke to the surface for a split-second. She chuckled in spite of the lingering pain.

“What?” Lee asked.

“It appears it’s easier to get rid of the memories than the results of the memories. Never mind. It was funnier in my head.”

She turned again, bumping into his solid chest, and Lee caught her before she could bounce back and hit the floor. Rachel tilted her head up to thank him—both for now and for the support he’d shown—when she caught a glimpse of his eyes.

The unsettled sensation in her belly shifted two steps to the right and twisted until she would have sworn there were butterflies twirling inside her. Lee slid his hand upward from where he’d grabbed her arms, moving ever so slowly until one big hand cupped her cheek. He swept his thumb in a gentle caress over her skin as something very much not sympathy but far more flammable rose between them.

She should say something. She should pull away.

Both options were impossible. Her feet were pinned to the floor as her gaze dropped so she could admire his lips, his jaw, his
everything
.

“It’s good to hear you laugh,” he whispered.

“I haven’t had much to laugh about,” she replied.

He didn’t carry on, and that was what caused her final defeat. If he would’ve kept talking, she could have focused on Gary and what a shit her ex had been. Instead silence fell, or such silence that was possible in the cabin with the storm raging outside, a fire raging in, and all kinds of emotions raging through her. All of them combined into a bank of noise and confusion, and Rachel couldn’t decide what to do.

What she
should
do next, that is. What she
wanted
to do? Lean forward until their bodies connected. Wrap her arms around him, hell, wrap her
legs
around him. For one night she wanted to let go of the emotion she’d locked down tight—for one night she would love to set it free. Just like the storm dumping everything it had in twenty-four hours, in one hour she could rid herself of so many things.

That’s when she realized they
were
touching. She’d shifted and brought them in contact, her breasts pressed against a wall of muscle.

His fingers shook against her skin. “Rachel, honey, you don’t want to do this.”

Oh, no, she really did. “Why not?”

His eyes flashed hotter, and the subtle change in his body stance proved her suggestion had made an impact.

“There’s only one bed,” she pointed out.

His lips twitched. “If you think I’m going to fuck you simply because there’s only one bed and we have to share it, you need to know I have a little more willpower than that.”

“Don’t you want me?”

Lee dragged in a deep breath as Rachel wished she could smack herself in the head for being so forward. And then she didn’t give a damn because this was what she wanted.

“No one is twisting my arm. No one is making me proposition you. I’ve been so cold inside,” she confessed, “and this is the first time in a long time I’ve felt anything. Anything other than pain.”

Lee shook his head. “You know I care about you, and giving Gary hell for what he did to you is high on my agenda, but—”

“But, what?” she demanded. “You think you’re in charge of what I want? Thanks, but I had someone try that with me, and it didn’t turn out so good.”

She tossed caution to the wind and slid her palms up his chest, feeling his hardness sink against her belly, and a flash of fire turned the pain inside to passion. She really didn’t want to miss a chance to erase some of what she’d felt at Gary’s betrayal.

“Rach—”

She didn’t let him finish, just pressed their lips together. If she had to be the aggressor, so be it.

Not three seconds after they made contact, she was no longer in charge. He’d lifted her in the air so he could kiss her better, that hand at the back of her head holding her exactly right so he could ravish her mouth. Teeth, tongue, lips. He used them all with devastating effectiveness as he kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her some more until she was lightheaded and not caring one single bit.

When he pulled back, she paused, lingering in the moment between her need to gasp for air and the urgent desire to dive back in for another round. Time stood still as she stared into his face and tried to analyze what he felt.

Desire was there—that much was powerfully clear. He didn’t attempt to hide his sexual attraction.

Yet with a level of control far from how he’d kissed her, he placed her back on the ground, stepping away after she caught her balance. His eyes had gone dark, his breathing unsteady. “Make no mistake, Rachel, I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time, and I don’t just mean in bed. But this isn’t how we’re going to start anything.”

Caught between desire and a hard place—and this time he wasn’t being a smartass and making a joke about what being near Rachel did to his body.

She hesitated for a breath then narrowed her eyes, and he scrambled to fix things before it all went to hell.

“It’s not a case of me trying to decide what you should do.” Lee crossed his arms in front of his chest, all too aware he was putting a barrier between them, but he desperately needed one right now. “You know I like you. Hell, I like you a lot, and if things had been different, then you and I would be rocking that mattress and doing a snow dance in the hopes we ended up trapped with nothing to do but fuck around for the next week.”

As he spoke her eyes grew wider, a flush rising to her face and leaving perfect red circles on her high cheekbones.

“So why aren’t we?” she demanded. “Why are you standing way over there, and I’m over here when there’s only one bed, and you know I want you?”