Rodeo Nights (19 page)

“You taste so sweet, Kalli.”

He straightened his back, dropping light kisses on her breasts. Then he took one nipple into his mouth, stretching across her body, giving her his weight for the first time. It felt so good...

Sucking lightly, he stroked his tongue over her nipple, then slid a hand between their bodies, pressing against her, slipping his finger slowly inside her.

“Walker.”

Arching against him, she held on, digging her fingers into his shoulders. So much, she wanted him so much.

She ran her hands down his back, savoring the feel of him the way she savored his scent. Over muscles clenched tight in restraint, her hands slid lower, urging him to her.

Poised to enter her, he held. She let out a breath in a sharp sound of frustration. But still he didn’t move. Not until her eyes met his. Not until she was locked in their blue, blue depths.

Then he moved. Slowly, inexorably into her. She could feel her body adjusting to his presence, adapting, welcoming. He withdrew, nearly as slowly, then returned, the pace no longer measured. She lifted her hips, drawing him deeper inside her, tighter. He stroked into her again, even deeper. And again. She met him, and matched him.

Until the movements weren’t small at all, but strong, powerful sweeps that drew them deeper and deeper into each other. To a place so deep, they were reaching up, reaching for something far above them and bright, like the great orange ball of the sun, hanging above the peaks that came closer and closer together and grew higher and sharper, until the tallest and sharpest finally touched it, and the sun burst. Showering them in a glittering stream of light and heat and brilliance.

And peace.

HER FINGERS FOLLOWED
an idle path across his shoulders, chest and abdomen. It was a pleasant idleness, satisfying a lingering urge to touch, but not too taxing on her sated, exhausted muscles.

That changed when she realized the paths were not so idle, but often followed thin, raised lines mapped across his skin.

She raised herself on one elbow to get a better look.

Scars.

A dozen? More? Each thread of lightened skin was a testament to some injury he’d suffered, some pain he’d endured.

“Oh, Walker.” She shuddered at the vision that came too quickly to be ignored, of his being hurt. “I’m so glad you’re not riding this summer.”

The words came out before she could stop them, but maybe it was just as well. Maybe being away from the circuit, he would learn he didn’t need rodeo the way he thought he did. Maybe this time, he would choose her.

Under her hand, she felt him hold his breath. Then her hand lowered along with his chest as the air streamed out of him.

“Don’t let these bother you. Every rodeo hand needs a few scars,” he said.

His light tone closed a door. What choice did she have other than to follow his lead. She raised her head to quirk an eyebrow at him. “To prove how macho he is?”

He grimaced at that, then grinned, mischief lighting his eyes. “Nah, no need for that. Need scars to weed through all the women.”

An abrupt, sharp slice of jealousy tightened her fingers on his flesh. Almost as quickly, she tried to turn it into a tickling caress.

He wasn’t fooled.

“
Ow!
What’d you do that for?” he asked. But the hint of satisfaction in his voice said he knew why she’d done it, and he liked it.

“Just disproving your statement about rodeo cowboys being macho,” she said silkily. Then continued, to show his dealings with women between their past and now didn’t concern her. “So, how do the scars help you weed through women?”

Since the question accompanied a deliberate trailing of the back of her fingers down his abdomen, over the hardness of his hip and down the front of his thigh, she was pleased that his answer came in a markedly lower, rougher voice.

“You know rodeo hands can have sensitive souls. Don’t want to get chased for shallow reasons. A few scars eliminate the ones just after your body.”

With her arm fully extended, she straightened her fingers, dragging the nails lightly over his flesh until the pads of her fingers stroked him, sliding temptingly up the inside of his thigh.

“Kalli...”

Did the warning or the hunger in his voice make her hesitate a fraction? It didn’t matter.

She continued with light, feathered strokes, eluding his hand when he tried to capture hers. Ignoring his shifting to try to push himself harder into her hand, she continued the slight connections of skin against skin that could hardly explain the pulsing changes in his body, the clenching of muscles in his thighs.

Except that these same light touches were producing such a strong effect in her, too.

Blindly, he reached behind his head to where one leg of his jeans had landed. He hauled on the denim until he could dig in the pocket and extract another foil packet. She watched the procedure with interest, assisting with more of those light, fleeting touches that had him grinding his teeth between promises of a retribution she was more than ready to withstand.

When he let loose a curse, rose partway to grasp her hips and draw her atop him, she cooperated by levering herself above him until she felt him at her entry.

‘‘Kalli...”

With the sound of her name on his lips, she took him inside.

He met her, one hand still at her hip, the other curving over her breast.

It was fast and hard. And glorious.

So long. Too long.

They collapsed, still joined, too exhausted to move. She thought of nothing, long after their breathing returned to normal. Just lay on him, relishing the presence of him inside her, listening to the wonder of Walker’s heartbeat.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Kalli.”

She smiled into his neck and shifted slightly.

His instant response affected her most intimately.

“I wouldn’t count on it, you know,” she said.

His hands tightened on her lower back, pressing her more fully to him. “On your killing me?”

“Well, not that, either, since you already seem to be, uh, coming to life. But I meant I wouldn’t count on a few scars keeping the women away from your body.”

“Yeah?” It came out mostly a growl.

“Yeah.”

“As long as they don’t keep you away from my body, Kalli.”

Then he moved against her again, and there was no more talking.

WITH MEMORIES OF
Kalli so impressed in his senses that holding the steering wheel awakened echoes of stroking her skin, Walker found the drive to see Jeff and Mary went by fast. Almost frighteningly fast. Not only because of highway safety, but because of his emotional safety.

Physically, the pull between them was as strong as ever. Or stronger.

That thought tucked a frown between his brows as he neared Billings. He’d been practically a kid when they’d been together, with all a kid’s energy and hormones. But he couldn’t deny that their lovemaking last night and this morning had taken him higher, rocked him deeper than he’d ever been before.

That’s what bothered him.

Because that meant a whole hell of a lot beyond physical was involved, and that’s where they got in trouble.

The physical pull might not have suffered from ten years apart, but the emotional bonds were as fragile as a thread holding a bull. Those bonds had broken once when a couple of fool kids stretched them too far.

Or had they broken? Maybe they’d partially unraveled, leaving neither of them totally free, but not quite connected, either.

He and Kalli had done some mending this summer, but even if they patched the bonds, would they be strong enough to keep her here this time?

Because that’s what he wanted. Kalli by his side, for good.

All those promises to himself about reining in his dreams to just the summer were no better than lies, he acknowledged grimly as he pulled in to the hospital parking lot. He knew what he wanted, and it didn’t end with the last Saturday in August. It ended with gray hair, rocking chairs and enough children, grandchildren and—what the hell—great-grandchildren to carpet the valley.

But wanting didn’t make it so.

He found a parking spot for the truck, turned off the engine and unhooked his seat belt, but he didn’t get out right away. Enough breeze came through the open windows to ease the sun’s warmth.

He didn’t like not telling Kalli the whole truth of what he was thinking—dreaming—but could he risk it?

If—
when, dammit, when
, he corrected himself viciously—she left come September, he’d have a hurt to bear even worse than her leaving the first time. But if he told her he wanted forever and she pulled away from him before she left...

No, he couldn’t risk scaring her off.

He adjusted his hat and climbed out, trying to shift his mental gears to visiting with Jeff and Mary.

He wasn’t entirely successful.

Walker certainly took in the fact of Jeff’s improvement, and the news that the staff had mentioned letting him leave the hospital, though he’d have to stay in Billings a while longer. He and Mary would live with her cousin while Jeff got in-home care and continued intensive therapy.

Jeff might even be allowed one or two overnight visits to Park during that phase, as a transition to the next step, when he became an official outpatient, living at home and commuting two or three days a week for therapy.

“And I bet you’re just itching to come by the rodeo and check up on us, aren’t you?” Walker asked with a grin.

He and Kalli had agreed to wait until he saw on this trip how far along Jeff had come before deciding whether to tell him about the committee’s ultimatum.

“First stop,” his uncle promised, laughter and determination glinting in his eyes. His expression grew serious then. “But promised Mary it won’t be last stop. Promised myself, too.”

Walker looked from one to the other. He’d known them all his life, spent every summer and most holidays with them. For most of his life, when he thought of home, it was the Jeffries ranch. In all that time, he couldn’t remember seeing them look at each other with more love than they did right now.

That’s what he wanted with Kalli.

“What...” He cleared his throat. “What do you mean, Jeff?”

“We’re going to take some time. Enjoy things. That’s what I mean.”

“Not give up the rodeo,” Mary explained, her eyes studying Walker in the quiet way she had. “But we’re talking about getting more help. So we can go off and do things without being tied to it all the time. And take things a little slower than we have been. Not just with the rodeo, either. We’ve been saying for years we might lease off some of our land. Now seems a good time to do it.”

That pronouncement dropped heavy in the air. They’d talked about leasing it to him, so he could run more stock while he got his own place going full speed. But all of that was supposed to be for some distant time in the future, when he quit the rodeo circuit, when he’d be around all the time to work his place and their land. He couldn’t do that while he was rodeoing.

Not yet. I’m not ready to quit.

The cry from his heart was followed almost immediately by one from his head. Would he ever be? Would he ever be ready to let go of something he loved so much?

“Nothing firm yet,” Jeff said. “Maybe try that south section.”

“Nels Carmody has asked about leasing that section now and again,” Mary agreed, contributing to the effort to smooth over the moment of silence.

Walker did his part, too, and the conversation drifted to less perilous waters, until Jeff started to flag and Mary gave Walker a subtle sign.

He took his leave and she followed, kissing her husband and promising to be back soon.

“Not too soon,” Jeff said sleepily. “Get a good meal out of this boy.”

Walker, who’d insisted on taking Mary to lunch, grinned at both Jeff’s admonition to his wife, and his calling a thirty-three-year-old beat-up rodeo hand “boy.”

Jeff was already nodding off when they eased the door closed behind them.

“He’s looking good,” Walker said when he had Mary settled in the truck, heading for a small restaurant he knew. “Almost like his old self.”

“He’s doing better, that’s for sure,” Mary said, then let a silence fall.

Caught up in other thoughts, he barely noticed. But he noticed her next statement.

“They won’t forgive her this time.”

“What?”

“They won’t forgive her a second time.”

He supposed he should have asked who, just for form’s sake, but he’d never had the heart to play games with Mary, especially since they never worked. But how the hell could she know the shift that his and Kalli’s relationship had taken? Did the desire ooze out of his pores? Was passion so clearly imprinted on his face?

“What do you mean, Mary?” His throat tightened some around that because on some level he knew he wouldn’t like the answer.

“Folks ’round Park, folks with the rodeo won’t forgive her for leaving you a second time.”

What if she doesn’t leave
? Thank God, he didn’t say it out loud. It would show too damn clearly just how far-gone he was.

“Even if you make it clear you’d known all along that she’d be leaving in the fall.”

And he
did
know that. Because he knew the difference between dreams and reality. Come fall, Kalli would return to the life she’d created back East. And he’d stay here, with his life. Still loving her.

So why did it feel like a bull’s horn had just gutted him to hear it said out loud?

“...they won’t forgive her. They protect their own, and they’ll shut her out any time she comes to visit. And she’ll know. Even with Jeff and me loving her, it won’t be enough. So if folks see what’s happening, see how you two are, you’ll be making sure Kalli can’t ever come back. Don’t do that, Walker. Don’t do that to Jeff and me, because we love her, too, and we need to have her coming here. And don’t do it to Kalli. Because she needs this place. She needs the peace it gives her.”

Grimly, he hung on to the wheel and the words that shouted in his head.

What about me? What about what I need?