Rogue (22 page)

“The last two months have been wonderful,” he said peacefully, “the best in my life, I think.” He had far more in common with her than he had had with his wife in twenty-one years. He had realized long since that Maxine was the woman he had been waiting for all his life. He had made up his mind in the last two weeks, and he was going to share his thoughts with her tonight.

“It's great for me too,” she said, as she leaned over and kissed him. They had left the lights off in the living room, it was relaxing and romantic that way, and she could taste the brandy on his lips.

“I want to spend more time with you, Maxine. We both need to get more sleep,” he teased. “You can't keep getting up at four
A.M.
when we spend the night together.” They had decided against it that night in fact, because she had early patients to see the next day and so did he. Listening to him, she was suddenly afraid he wanted to move in. And she knew only too well that that would traumatize her kids. They had finally gotten used to her dating him. Living together would have been too much, and it wasn't her style. She liked the fact that she had her apartment, and he had his.

“I think this works for now,” she said quietly, and he shook his head.

“Not for me. Not in the long run. I don't think either of us are the dating type, Maxine. And I think we're old enough to know what we want and when it's right.” Her eyes opened wide as she listened to him. She didn't know what to say, or even what he was saying to her. “I knew it with you right away. We're like two peas in a pod … twins … we're both doctors. We have the same views about many things. I love your company. I'm getting used to your kids … Maxine … will you marry me?” She gave a sudden gasp at what he said and was silent for a long minute while he waited, looking down at her in the light from the street shining into the room. He could see her eyes wide with fright. “It's going to be okay. I promise. I know this is right.” She wasn't as sure. Marriage was forever. She had thought it would be with Blake too, and it wasn't. How could she be sure of that now with Charles?

“Now? It's so soon, Charles … it's only been two months.”

“Two and a half,” he corrected. “I think we both know it's right.” She thought that too, but even if it was, it was too early for her kids. She knew that for sure. She couldn't tell them she was marrying him. Not yet. They'd go nuts.

“I think the children need more time,” she said gently. “And we do too. Forever is a long time, and neither of us wants to make a mistake. We've done that before.”

“We don't want to wait forever either. I want to live with you,” he said softly, “as your husband.” It was what so many women wanted, a man who offered marriage in months, and meant it. And she knew Charles did. But she had to mean it too, and she wasn't ready. “What do you want to do?”

She was thinking quickly. She was surprised to realize that she didn't want to turn him down, but she wasn't ready to marry him yet either. She had to be sure. “I'd like to wait to tell the children till June. That's six months from when we started. That's respectable. They'll be out of school then, and if it throws them for a loop, they can deal with it over the summer. It's too soon to tell them now.”

He looked mildly disappointed, but he was aware that she hadn't turned him down, and that pleased him immeasurably. He had been nervous about it. “And get married when?” He held his breath, waiting for the answer.

“August? That would give them two months to get used to the idea. Enough to adjust, but not enough time to really stew about it. And that's a good time for us too, before they go back to school.”

“Does everything in your life revolve around your kids, Maxine? Isn't anything just about you, or us?”

“I guess not,” she said apologetically. “But it's important that they feel comfortable about this, or it'll be harder for us,” especially for him if they objected. She was afraid they still might, even in June. They weren't going to be thrilled about it, she knew. They had just barely accepted him, and it didn't even occur to them that she might remarry. They had stopped worrying about that in the beginning, when she reassured them that she wouldn't, and she had believed it then. And now she was going to turn everything upside down with this announcement. “I want my kids to be happy too.”

“They will be eventually, once they get used to the idea,” he said firmly. “I guess I can live with a wedding in August, and telling them in June. I was hoping we could tell people right away.” He smiled at her. “This is very exciting. But I'm willing to wait!” He pulled her close to him then, and he could feel her heart beating. She was feeling skittish and scared and excited all at once. She loved him, but this was so different from what she had had with Blake. But then again, she and Charles were older and this made more sense. Charles was the kind of solid, reliable man she had always wanted, not a madman like Blake, however charming he was, that you could never count on. Charles was no rogue, he was a man. And this felt right, even if it was surprising. She had been shocked when he asked.

This all seemed so soon to Maxine, but she agreed with him. At their age, they knew what worked and what they wanted. Why waste more time?

“I love you,” she whispered, and he kissed her.

“I love you too,” he said afterward. “Where do you want to get married?”

“What about my house in Southampton?” It came to her when he asked the question. “It's big enough for all of us to stay there, and we can tent the garden.” Between the two of them, they knew a fair amount of people.

“That sounds perfect.” They had gone out there for the weekend twice, and he loved it. Suddenly he looked worried. “Do we have to take the children on the honeymoon with us?” he asked, and she laughed, and shook her head.

“No, we don't.” And then she had a thought. “Maybe Blake would lend us his boat. It would be perfect for a honeymoon.” Charles frowned as she said it.

“I don't want to spend my honeymoon on your ex-husband's boat,” he said firmly, “no matter how big it is. You're my wife now, not his.” He had been jealous of Blake from the first, and Maxine backed off immediately.

“I'm sorry. That was stupid of me.”

“Maybe Venice,” he said dreamily. He had always loved it. She didn't suggest that they borrow Blake's palazzo there. Charles had obviously forgotten that he had one.

“Or Paris. That might be romantic.” It was one of the few cities where Blake didn't have a house.

“We'll figure it out. We have until June to make plans.” He wanted to get her an engagement ring too, and he wanted her to help pick it out. But now she couldn't wear it till June, since they wouldn't tell the children until then. He was sorry about that. But it would be August before they knew it, he realized. In six months, she would be Mrs. Charles West. He loved it. And so did she. Maxine West. It had a nice sound.

They sat and whispered and made plans. They agreed that he would sell his apartment and move in with her. Given his small apartment and the size of her family, it was the only arrangement that made sense. After they talked, she wished they could make love, but they couldn't. Sam was in her bed, sound asleep. She agreed to go to his apartment the following night, “to seal the deal” as he said. They could both hardly wait now until they could spend the whole night together, and get up in the morning under one roof. And she would have everyone she loved in one place. It sounded great to her too.

They kissed for a long time before he left. He was tender and loving and kind. And as he got into the elevator, he whispered to her, “Goodnight, Mrs. West.” She beamed at him, and whispered, “I love you,” to him. And as she locked the door and walked to her bedroom, she turned it around in her mind. It wasn't at all what she had expected, but now that they had decided, it sounded like a wonderful plan to her too. She just hoped the kids would take the news well. She was glad Charles had agreed to wait. She loved the whole idea. He was the kind of man she should have married in the beginning. But if she had, she wouldn't have the great kids she did. So in the end, everything had worked out right. And she had Charles now. That was all that mattered.

Chapter 14

Although Charles and Maxine didn't tell the children their
plans and kept them private for the moment, having made them between themselves changed everything subtly anyway. Charles suddenly had a proprietary air about him whenever he was around Maxine or the kids, and Daphne was quick to pick it up.

“Who does he think he is?” she complained one day when he had told Jack to take off his cleats and change his shirt before they went out to dinner. Maxine had noticed it too, but she was pleased that Charles was trying to fit in and take his place, even if awkwardly. She knew his intentions were good. Being stepfather to three children was a big leap for him.

“He means well,” Maxine said to Daphne, excusing him far more easily than her daughter was willing to.

“No, he doesn't. He's just bossy. Dad would never say that. He wouldn't care what Jack wears out to dinner, or if he wore his cleats to bed.”

“Maybe that's not such a good thing,” Maxine suggested. “Maybe we need a little more order around here.” Charles was very proper, and liked everything neat and in control. It was one of the things they had in common. Blake was the opposite extreme.

“What is this? A Hitler Youth Camp?” Daphne snapped at her and stormed off. It made Maxine glad they had waited to announce their engagement and marriage the following summer. The children weren't ready to hear it yet. She was hoping that in the coming months, they would accept it a little more each day.

March was a busy month for Maxine. She attended two conferences at opposite ends of the country, one in San Diego on the effects of national traumatic events on children under twelve, where she was the main speaker. And another on suicidality in adolescents, in Washington, D.C. Maxine was part of a panel that opened the conference, and she gave a separate lecture of her own on the second day of the event. And then she had to rush home to New York for spring break with her kids. She had hoped to convince Blake to see them during their spring vacation, but he said he was in Morocco, working on the house, up to his ears in construction and plans, and too busy to take a break. It was disappointing for her children and stressful for her to take a week off with them. Thelma handled her patients for her when she did.

Maxine took her children skiing in New Hampshire for a week during their break. And unfortunately, Charles couldn't get away. He was busy with his practice, so Maxine went to New Hampshire with her children, and a friend for each, and they had a ball. When she told Charles what she was doing, he confessed to being enormously relieved that he was too busy to join them. Six children were far too many for his nerves. Three already seemed like a lot to him. Six sounded insane. Maxine loved it, and called him from New Hampshire with reports several times a day. And the day after they returned, she left for the conference in Washington, D.C. Charles came down to visit her for one night, and they finally met in her bed at midnight. It had been a very busy week.

It ruffled his feathers a little when she was so busy, but in theory he understood. She was a woman with a demanding medical practice, and three young kids, who were hers to bring up on her own, with no help or guidance from Blake. She couldn't even reach him most of the time, no longer tried, and made every decision on her own.

Blake was wrapped up in his latest house adventure, and his life of “fun,” while she worked her tail off, and took care of their kids. The only one who helped her was Zelda, no one else ever did. Maxine felt eternally grateful and in her debt. Neither Charles nor Blake had any concept of what it took to keep her life running smoothly and her kids attended to and in good shape. Charles's occasional suggestion that she take a month off, to relax and plan the wedding, only made her laugh. What? How? When? No way. She was swamped, and Blake was back to being the invisible man to their kids. He had been adorable with them in Aspen. But he had no plans to see them again before July or August. It was going to be a long time for them to wait, with everything on Maxine's shoulders until then.

And as spring and warm weather came, she saw more and more kids in crisis. Her sicker patients always responded negatively to spring and fall, particularly March, April, May, June, and September. In spring, all the people suffering from winter doldrums began to feel better. The weather was warmer, the sun came out, flowers bloomed, joy was in the air, and the truly sick ones felt more hopeless than ever. They were left like rocks on the beach when the tide went out, and they stuck out in their darkness, misery, and despair. It was a dangerous time for suicidal kids.

Much to her chagrin and despite all her efforts, two of her patients committed suicide in March, and a third one in April. It was a terrible time for her, and Thelma lost one of her patients too, an eighteenyear-old boy she had worked with for four years, and she was heartbroken for the family, and missed the boy herself. September was also an equally dangerous month, and statistically prime time for suicides in adolescent boys.

Thelma and Maxine commiserated about their lost patients over lunch, and Maxine shared the news of her secret engagement with her. It cheered them both, and was a sign of hope in their world.

“Wow! That is big news!” Thelma said, looking thrilled for her. It was a far happier topic than the reason they had lunch. “How do you think your kids will react?” Maxine had told her they weren't telling them till June, and the wedding was planned for August.

“I'm hoping they'll be ready to hear it by then. June is only two months away, but they seem to be adjusting to Charles little by little. Basically, they like the way things have been, having me to themselves, with no man around to share me with, or interfere.” Maxine looked worried as she said it, and Thelma smiled.

“That makes them nice, well-adjusted, normal kids. It's a sweet deal for them having you alone, with no man for them to compete with for your attention.”