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Authors: Jay Crownover

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questions, want to be too involved, and I haven’t made enough firm decisions about anything yet. Jet ran

off and got married, so we know where his head is at, and Rowdy …” A little grin tugged at his goatee.

“Rowdy will just go with the flow. The others won’t be affected by it one way or the other, so I don’t think

anyone needs in on it until I know for sure what I’m dealing with.”

I had the very distinct impression we were talking about something other than a second tattoo shop, but

I had no clue what that might be, so I just stared at him hoping he would clue me in. When he didn’t I

sighed and ran my hands through my short hair. I decided to change the subject.

“How well do you know Rome?”

He gave me a strange look. “That’s an odd question, Cora. Why do you ask?”

I tried to shrug nonchalantly but I wasn’t sure I pulled it off.

“Now that he’s back from Afghanistan, he’s around a lot. We don’t exactly click. I poured a beer over

his head at the barbecue on the Fourth. I thought he would be pissed about it forever but then he showed

up here today all contrite and conciliatory. I’m just trying to figure him out.”

He started to answer me but broke into a cough so loud and hacking that I thought maybe I was going

to have to catch his lung if it flew out of his mouth. I settled for patting him on the back until he waved me

away.

“Stop it. I’m fine.”

“You sound the opposite of fine.”

“I think I’m just coming down with a cold or something.” He cleared his throat and rubbed the center of

his chest like it hurt. “I don’t know Rome as well as the rest of the boys. He had it okay at home, his

relationship with his folks was nowhere near as contentious as Rule’s was. I know he loved those brothers

of his and took care of them like it was his God-given mission from birth. They were a solid unit and I was

glad when he took Nash into that fold. It didn’t surprise me when he enlisted, or that things got rough when

the folks let the truth out about Remy. Rome was always going out of his way to play hero for his little

brothers, I’m sure it stung something fierce to find out one of them was protecting him all along.”

“I don’t get it. Why would anyone have cared if Remy was gay if they all loved him so damn much?”

“It wasn’t that. Rome would have tried to stand between Remy and the rest of the world, he wouldn’t

have tolerated anyone trying to say anything bad about his baby brother, regardless if Remy needed the help

or not. I think he was saving Rome from himself by not telling him the truth, but knowing someone you

loved so fiercely kept such a huge secret from you is rough. You know that, Tink.”

I did know that, but I was so used to fighting my battles alone that the idea of having someone love me

as unconditionally as that was pretty foreign. I mean my dad loved me, but he didn’t necessarily protect me.

I knew my friends here would die for me, would stand between me and anything that wanted to hurt me,

but I was always the one that charged headfirst into most situations, regardless of the blowback that tended

to end up on me. There were times when I wondered if I was going to be too much for them to take.

“He comes across very intense.”

“He’s a guy that has been at war for too long. I’m sure that’s left its mark.”

I thought about that scar that cut across his forehead, marring an otherwise beautiful example of

masculine perfection. The marks that had been left on him from that life weren’t just the ones on the inside,

I guessed.

Another round of coughing broke through my thoughts and I scowled at Phil as fiercely as I could to let

him know that I meant business.

“You need to get that checked out. It sounds terrible.”

“Yeah, yeah, as soon as I find the time. It’s just a little tickle.”

“No, it’s not. It sounds like you have the Black Plague.”

He shook his head at me and bent over to give me a little kiss on the cheek.

“You worry too much. You take care of those boys, I can take care of myself.” He lifted a dark eyebrow

at me. “While you’re at it, why don’t you find someone to take care of you? That would make your old man

so damn happy.”

I snorted and went to grab my purse and cell phone from the drawer I kept them in while I worked. I

was trying, but everyone came up short. It was hard to trust someone enough to let them all the way in

when I didn’t think they deserved to be there.

“Nobody fits the bill. Everyone keeps telling me my expectations are too high.”

“Are they?”

We walked out the front door and I hit the last of the lights. I folded against Phil as he tugged me into a

tight one-armed hug. I tried to fight down a swell of panic when I realized I could feel his ribs through his

shirt. He was typically a solid guy, this wasn’t good.

“My expectations are what they are. I’m never going to end up in a situation like I did with Jimmy

again.”

“Ah, honey, you gotta get over that burn. It was a long time ago. It should all be scar tissue by now and

there are plenty of good, if not great men out there, and not a single one of them is going to come wrapped

up in a bow of perfection.”

“I expect a lot because I deserve a lot.”

“That you do, Tink, but you also gotta keep your eyes open or the right one is going to pass you by

because you were too busy looking for the white whale.”

Again, against my will, my thoughts flipped to Rome Archer. I had told Nash that the older Archer was

as far from perfect as I could imagine and I wasn’t lying. He was moody, unpredictable, and I had a feeling

that he was dealing with some baggage that even I couldn’t help tackle. However, by all accounts he was

also loyal to a fault, steadfastly honorable, and I had firsthand knowledge that he appeared to be honest and

up-front about what he was feeling. There would be no guessing where you stood with the big guy, and

something about that was alarmingly appealing.

Jimmy had been tall, not nearly as tall as Rome, but a lot taller than me. He had also had ink from his

neck to his toes and had been pierced in all the most fun places. He wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous like Rowdy,

unforgettable like Rule, even just handsome like Nash, or rock-and-roll sexy like Jet. He was just a guy, and

I had loved him beyond measure. But now, looking back on things, I was beginning to wonder if maybe I

had been selling myself short because Rome was most definitely the most attractive guy I had ever seen up

close and personal and he thought I had pretty eyes. Jimmy had never told me I had pretty anything. Rome

felt dangerous and exciting at the same time even if perfect was nowhere in the picture. It made me all kinds

of tingly and that was more than anyone else had done since Jimmy broke my heart.

CHAPTER 4

Rome

Rule looked pissed when I finally pulled myself away from Cora and made my way outside. I wasn’t

looking forward to this little chat and flirting with the blonde was a great distraction. While she had been

occupied with something on the computer I slipped in the front door and watched her unnoticed for a few

minutes. She wasn’t my type. I didn’t normally go for girls that were so tiny. I liked them built sturdy and

able to handle everything I had to give them. I wasn’t a huge fan of all the ink and metal. I was used to it

because my brother was covered in it and I had to admit that I liked the snowflakes that Shaw had across

her neck and shoulders, but it wasn’t my thing. I had enough permanent marks forever etched in my skin

that I had never asked for and I couldn’t imagine voluntarily adding any more. In fact I wasn’t thrilled

about the new addition on my head, considering that since I wore my hair so short, the bald spot from the

scar was bound to show.

Cora was different. She didn’t come across as delicate even though she probably only reached my chest

when we stood toe-to-toe. Her eyes were outstanding. I had never seen anything like them; the dual colors

were unique in themselves, but the fact that whatever she was feeling literally ran from one color to the next

was fascinating. I had never met a woman that transparent or that open with her emotions before. It was

like she had zero artifice in her. She was also damn cute. Not beautiful or stunningly pretty, but she was

cuter than any girl with that much attitude had a right to be, and somehow the bouquet of flowers that

colored her skin in every shape and variety seemed like it belonged there. Even the pink eyebrow ring and

the little gauges in her ears didn’t distract from the fact that she was pretty much a hot little number all

around.

I had to drag my attention to my brother when I could feel the heat of his anger blazing off the distance

separating us. His icy eyes were hard and I knew simply throwing out a generic apology wasn’t going to cut

it.

“Rule, I’m sorry.” I took my hat off and rubbed the back of my neck. “I’m sort of spiraling out of

control right now and I don’t want you to get caught up in it.”

“Well, I am, and more importantly Shaw is, and I’m not down with that at all.”

I cringed. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? For ruining my barbecue? For making Shaw cry for no reason? For calling my relationship

a mistake? For getting wasted and acting stupid all the time? For ignoring Mom and Dad? For getting your

ass kicked by a bunch of bikers and calling Nash and not me? Narrow it the fuck down, Rome. What

exactly are you sorry for?”

Damn, this wasn’t my carefree and
I
don’t give a shit about anyone
brother. This was a serious-as-all-

get-out young man who was rightfully pissed, and it was all directed at me. I sighed and I hung my head.

Ever since the twins could walk, I had felt like they were mine to protect, mine to guide in the right

direction, and mine to help groom into the men they were supposed to become. I didn’t know if it was

because Rule was such a troublemaker and always flitting from one catastrophe to the next, or because

Remy was so coddled, so babied and in real danger of becoming a pansy, that I was so invested in their

care, but whatever the reason, their well-being had always been my top priority and I felt now like I had let

both of them down.

“All of it. I’m sorry for all of it. It’s been rough trying to settle back into civilian life and I’m sucking at

it. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you guys. I know it, but I can’t seem to stop it.”

“We love you, dude, but I swear to God, if you put me in a position where I have to pick between you

and Shaw, she is going to win every single time, hands down. Know it.”

That took me aback for a second. After Remy died, it had just been me and Rule against the world. He

wasn’t only my little brother, he was also my best friend, and I had never been able to picture a scenario

where someone would mean more to him than me. I sort of loved and hated that Shaw was that person. It

also galled me to admit that I was damn proud of Rule for standing that particular ground with me.

“It won’t come to that. I can’t lose another brother. I’ll make it right with Shaw. Mom and Dad might

take some more time, but I’ll get it together, swear it.” I wasn’t even ready to admit to myself the underlying

reasons—beyond their dishonesty—that made dealing with my parents impossible for me at this juncture.

He looked skeptical, so I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to explain.

“I love Shaw like a sister. I always took care of both you and Remy. It sucked that Shaw didn’t tell us

about Remy, but it sucks more that he used her and she let him get away with it. I’m mad at him and I was

mad at her and I just didn’t know what to do with any of it, so she suffered the brunt of it because I was

leaving again anyway. We’re family, all of us, there shouldn’t have ever been secrets like that. It makes me

feel like I was fighting for the wrong things all along, for people I didn’t even really know.”

“Remy made his choices. It sucks he didn’t want us to know, didn’t trust us to let him live his life the

way he wanted, but he’s gone and Shaw is here and she’s mine. I’ll protect her from anyone that wants to

hurt her in any way, and that includes you, dickhead. I’m pissed at Remy, too, but I would rather keep the

good memories alive, so every single day that’s what I try and do.”

Rule had a valid point, but he didn’t understand that what I was battling against was so much bigger and

harder to process than coming to terms with the fact that Remy and our parents had lied. I had so much

death, so much blood in my dreams, that Rule would never be able to relate to it. No one would.

I blew out a heavy breath and slammed my hat back down on my head, wincing a little as the interior

scraped across my newly acquired wound.

“I wish it was that easy for me.” I reached out and punched him in the shoulder. “Seriously I’ll talk to

Shaw and try and lay off the doom and gloom. Being Captain No-Fun really is no fun.”

Rule rolled his winter-colored eyes and went to reach for the handle on the glass door we had been

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