Rookie Mistake: A Sports Romance Novel (The Beasts of Baseball Book 1) (54 page)

“No, but I would assume that he wasn’t involved in it. Zek is an upstanding man, but we have an uphill battle whether he is or not.” I glanced down toward Lizzy, wondering if she knew any different. Had he told her?

“I agree with Alisa. Even though his name was cleared in the rape charges, you guys know as well as I do that the next jury will be wondering if this guy’s just getting away with stuff and being let off the hook. To have two criminal trials for two very different matters in the same quarter, hell, the same decade is really bad. We might need to pull in additional help for Alisa.”

“It depends on who you’re offering.” I picked up my coffee and sat back. I should have been slightly intimidated by the level of knowledge and wisdom in the room, but I wasn’t. I was comforted by it. No one needed to know that Zek was guilty but me and Lizzy, if he chose to tell her. The rest of the firm would stand behind me as long as I kept a strong front present when they were around. They weren’t interested in innocence or guilt, but money and winning.

“I think it might be prudent to put you on the case too, Lizzy.” One of the other partners spoke up. “You know Zek well and can dig a little deeper than the rest of us. No one had a fuss about you supporting Alisa as Senior Counsel on the rape allegations. Let’s move forward with the two of you taking the helm on this one too.”

“I’m happy doing that. I need to move my schedule around a little, but it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.” Lizzy turned and looked down the table toward me. “If there’s a problem with me being Zek’s sister-in-law, then we’ll remove me and add someone else to the case with Alisa’s approval. Does that sound good?”

“Yes. I like that plan.” I reached for my phone as it buzzed. Zek had some files out that he wanted me to review. Damn if my stomach didn’t tighten at the sight of his name on my phone. I wanted so badly for things to work out for him so that we could move forward. I was pretty sure that I wanted to stick things out no matter what, but something was holding me back from telling him that. Hence the running away the night before.

That he was still texting me and talking to me was a good thing, but the lack of greeting or any emotional adjectives in his message let me know that he was hurt, worried or depressed.

Shit. Maybe all three.

“Do you have time for lunch today? We could talk about the other aspects of this current case. My treat?” Lizzy stood, and I did as well, nodding toward her and giving her a smile although my insides were twisted into knots.

“That sounds great. Thanks again for the support. I appreciate you guys.” I lifted my coffee in the air and gave them a cocky grin. “To Mr. Zek Kellington, who’s keeping us busy and helping us make yet another strike for good, truth and justice.”

They laughed and lifted their cups. “Hear ye. Hear ye.”

*

“Are you really okay?” Lizzy glanced over at me as we met at the front of the little Italian place down from the office a few hours later.

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” I walked into the smell of garlic and tomato sauce. It was comforting, and yet I wanted Zek beside me so bad it almost hurt. How much more reserve would I have to maintain around him?

We took our seats, and I ordered a jack and coke without caring that I shouldn’t drink during a lunch break. Lizzy could berate me or talk me down from the ledge, but both responses would be received about the same — numbly.

“Did you speak with him this morning?” She pulled her napkin into her lap and watched me carefully.

“He texted me that he wanted me to come by his office.” I pressed my fingers to my forehead and took a shaky breath. “I put on a front up there, but I don’t know if I can do this.”

Her fingers wrapped around my arm and pulled my hand down. Her expression was serious and motherly. “Alisa. You came back here and took this case for a reason. Why?”

“It was challenging and hard. I honestly thought I could win the securities case. It’s what I do. It’s who I—”

“Stop.” She lifted her eyebrow at me. “Why did you take the rape case?”

“Because Zek didn’t do it. Someone had to stand beside him, and they wouldn’t let you.” Tears burned my eyes. I knew she was going to press into me, and it was half the reason I went to lunch with her. Someone needed to unwind the tightness inside of me, pull me from my shell and remind me what real life looked like. It was hard and bloody, it was painful and yet so far beyond exhilarating that nothing would ever compare to it.

“No. I don’t believe that’s the whole reason.” She squeezed my arm again and released me. “I saw you with him last night. That affection between the two of you isn’t eighteen years old. It’s fresh and present. It’s here right now.”

I nodded and reached for a buttery roll in the center of the table as tears dripped down my face. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I want to know if you love my brother-in-law. He means the world to Mark, and Mark means the world to me. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for Zek.” She tilted her head to the side as our drinks were delivered.

Her expression had softened, and I couldn’t help but chuckle through my tears as she waved the server off and tried to replace the sternness that sat on her features only moments before.

“I do love him, and that scares me.” I pulled my napkin from my lap and wiped my eyes. “I don’t want to give up on him, but you have no idea how fucking hard it is to be around him and try to keep myself unattached, removed, emotionless.”

“I can’t imagine, to be quite clear. He needs you, but I know you need to be objective. You have to be if there is any chance that he’ll get out of this.” She took a drink of her drink and nodded toward mine. “Drink up. We both need this, I think.”

Picking up the glass, I forced the torrent of emotions that plagued me back down. I could help Zek, no doubt, but doing so and not letting my emotions breathe fully around him would be a different story. I wanted to pull him close and kiss him with all the angst and need that he forced to rise deep within me. I needed more than anything to feel the pressure of his body against mine, his mouth pressed to every part of me and the adoration that followed all those things. I needed him.

“So, here’s the plan.” Lizzy picked up a roll and took a bite, speaking around it. “You’re going to find out everything you can about those other men involved in the scandal. Zek’s guilt or innocence is irrelevant. We look for every bit of evidence we can to make it appear as though he was framed. If we’re unable to do that, we regroup and figure out our very best plea bargain.”

I nodded, already knowing everything that Lizzy was rushing through. She was worried and had to at least suspect that Zek was guilty. Otherwise the topic of the plea bargain would never have come up. We worked through some of the details of the case over the rest of the lunch, and her calm demeanor calmed me.

She was quick to remind me that whatever relationship was building between me and Zek had to remain behind closed doors. The public couldn’t get wind of the two of us.

I promised to keep myself in check, and if I did slip then it would be in a place that no one would be able to find us. She laughed at me as we walked out and gave me a side hug.

“Better you than me. Those Kellington boys are something else. Mark and I couldn’t hide what we have going on if it meant our lives would be taken because of it. I’m not so sure you’re not in the same boat as us.” She released me and moved back. “I’m here if you need me.”

“Thank you.” I spoke to her for a moment more and turned, walking to my car as the wind picked up and blew my hair about. I could convince Lizzy that everything was fine, and perhaps even Zek, but deep down inside, I was a mess. I wanted the same man I’d always wanted, and yet once again he was slipping through my fingers.

Please. Just this once let things work out. Please.

CHAPTER 3

e

Zek

I
half expected her not to show up seeing that it was getting to be mid to late afternoon. The sound of someone knocking on the glass doors at the front of the office resurrected my hope. I jumped up from my chair and jogged toward the hall, only to stop short and force myself into a leisurely walk. I didn’t want her to know how badly I wanted to simply be around her.

She had the ball in her court where we were concerned, and I wasn’t ready to force anything just yet. I prayed like hell that I could be the kind of man who was self-sacrificing and could just give her up if that’s where we landed, but I wasn’t so sure.

Her dark blue pants suit fit her beautifully, and the silky white blouse she wore under it accented her breasts. My body screamed for connection, for touch, but I denied it as I unlocked the door and awarded her with a warm smile.

“Alisa. How are you?” I moved back as she walked in. The smell of her perfume wrapped around me, and I had to coach myself down from the carnal instinct to let loose all my rage and fear onto the pretty girl. I wasn’t a monster, but some part of me wanted to be — just for a minute.

“I’m good. Sorry I didn’t respond earlier. We were in the middle of our debrief on your case.” She stopped in the hall, and I moved past her, careful not to touch her.

It was beyond odd to have rights to her the night before when I had pulled her close and pressed my lips to the soft flesh of her neck, and today be denied. Maybe I was putting too much weight on everything. She hadn’t pushed me back or denied me a quick kiss last night. Maybe she was hurting too, and I was making it worse by conjuring up rules that didn’t exist.

“No worries. I appreciate all that you’re doing for me. Let’s talk in my office, and I’ll show you the files I have on Jessup.” I walked in and turned, letting my eyes move down her legs and back up to the beautifully feminine curve of her hips.

“That would be great. Lizzy and I spoke at lunch about the SEC allegations. She’s going to be playing second with me on the case.” She pulled out her chair and I kicked myself internally for not doing it for her. I was a basket case, and most likely would be until I let myself relax and just simply be natural around her — whatever that meant.

“You’re taking the case?” I was relieved, burdened and surprised all in the same moment.

Her brow pulled tight, and I could see quite clearly that I had offended her. “Why would I not take the case?”

I sat down and leaned back. “I don’t know. After last night, I just—”

“Nothing has changed. I’m upset, and I need a little bit of time to get myself together, but I’m not dropping you into someone’s lap and walking away.” She reached across the table, and the pain in her eyes was far too real for the state I was in. “I care about you, and I’m going to see this thing through, okay?”

“Right. I appreciate that.” Why was I being so stiff and unyielding? Was protecting myself that fucking important?

“Sure,” her voice was soft, losing volume and showing once again I’d fucked up. “Let me see the files. I don’t want to take too much of your time.”

She wouldn’t look at me, and I let out a long sigh as I pushed them toward her.

“I’m not sure if this is what you wanted to look at, but I can pull anything else you might need.” I studied her as she flipped through them and ignored me. Her profile was breathtaking and stole my heart as if she hadn’t ten times in the last few weeks. She was every bit of the girl I remembered, but so much better.

Our discussion the night before about her bucket list and babies and a future washed over me, and I pressed my hand to my chest. Why was love right within my grasp and yet I couldn’t seem to hold onto it? Why did I try?

“So you’ve known this Dane Warren for quite some time.” She glanced up at me. “He’s with Jessup?”

“Yeah. We all went to school together. Dane’s the weasel of the group. I never really liked the guy much, but we all put up with him out of a sense of pity.” I shrugged.

“Explain.” She reached up and pulled her hair down, and I sat in silence for a few minutes unable to do anything but stare. “Do you want me to put it back up?”

“Put what up?” I mumbled as I moved forward, meaning to touch her before I realized what I was doing. I stood instead and walked to the window.

“My hair. You seemed upset when I took it down.” She stood and moved to stand just a little ways from me as I turned to face her. She was closer than friends might have been, but a million miles between lovers.

“I love your hair any way you wear it.” I brushed my hand down my face. “What were we talking about? Right. Dane. He came from a wealthy family, but they couldn’t stand him. He was kicked out of the house at fourteen and went to live with his grandmother. He has a really sad, sappy story. We felt bad for him and he was quite the swindler, which was funny when we were in college, so he became part of the group.”

“And now? Do you still hang out with him?” She lifted her eyebrow at me.

“No. He’s part of this shit, of course, but you’ve obviously done your homework. You seem to know that.” I reached out and brushed her hair off of her cheek, enjoying the silkiness of it almost too much. “I wanted you so fucking bad last night. You have no clue how hard it was to let you go.”

Sadness rushed across her pretty face, and she shook her head and remained in place. “Not now. I can’t do this now. Stick to the facts of the case.”

“I fucked up. I’ve been looking my whole adult life for someone to spend my time with, invest my heart in, and I fucked up.” I bit my tongue and took a shaky breath. “You’re pulling back from me, and you should.”

“Zek. This is about the case right now. We can’t do or be anything other than friends that care about each other until we get through this.” She reached out and pressed her palm to my chest, just above my heart. “At least not in public.”

I took her hand and lifted it to my face, cupping it with my hands and kissing her palm twice before pressing my nose to her skin and breathing in. What I wouldn’t have given for us to reconnect under any other circumstances.

“Were you more upset with my guilt last night, or the fact that I didn’t come clean with you?” I had to know. I could apologize for one, but the other was the past and could never be changed. I would explain
why
I didn’t tell her. But the
why
on the trading scandal had excuses attached to it that they left me so open, so bare, so weak.