Rosalia's Bittersweet Pastry Shop (23 page)

Rosalia shrugged her shoulders. “There is more to life than our appearances. I know what happened to you was horrible, especially since you had no desire to become a nun. All I'm saying is that many of the sisters have made this choice, and it is something that makes them happy, gives them peace and contentment. Like Madre Carmela. I can see she is devoted to her calling and does not mind the sacrifices she has had to make.”

“True. But like you said, many of them made the choice to become nuns. I was forced into it. So, secretly, I began growing my hair back. The nun who was responsible for ensuring everyone's hair was cut when it started growing back had become quite senile, and she couldn't keep track of whose hair needed to be cut next. Fortunately for me, no other sister was checking to make sure. It took two years for my hair to grow back. Once it did, I was getting restless, not to mention depressed. I couldn't take living the way I was living. I tried convincing Elisabetta that we should run away. I told her I could get a job somewhere, but she wouldn't hear of it. She had fallen in love with the life of a nun and couldn't wait until she would begin her training. I think she lost a few of her marbles.” Teresa pointed to her head, and her expression became very sad.

“She changed, Rosalia, once we went to live at the convent. The little sister who had played with me and followed me around, looking up to me, became this quiet, timid child. There was a nun, Sorella Maria, who took Elisabetta under her wing. She became like a surrogate mother to Elisabetta. At first, I thought Sorella Maria just wanted Elisabetta to feel more at home at the convent, and that she wanted to be more of a mother figure for her since Elisabetta had lost her own. But soon I saw Sorella Maria had her own motives for taking a liking to Elisabetta. She wanted to mold Elisabetta into her image of the perfect nun.”

“What about you? Didn't she try to be a role model for you?”

“She hated me. I think she could tell from the first moment she laid eyes on me that I was not nun material. But I guess she was right about Elisabetta. Look at her now. Elisabetta is already acting like a nun even though she is not one yet.” Teresa shook her head, disgust plainly evident in her features. “I can't help but feel like Sorella Maria brainwashed my sister. In fact that whole convent brainwashed her.

“Anyway, I was not successful in persuading Elisabetta to run away with me. My despair grew until one day I noticed a young man delivering fruits and vegetables with his father. My heart leapt. He was handsome, and, when he saw me and smiled, wishing me a good day, I was elated. His father owned a farm, and the convent bought its produce from them. Sometimes, the son would deliver the fruit on his own. I began to find ways to sneak out of the convent and engage him in conversation, hiding in some spot in the convent's courtyard where none of the other nuns could spy on us.”

“That was a huge risk.”

“It was, but I didn't care if I was caught. I couldn't take living there anymore. But then there was also a part of me that knew Elisabetta would be affected by my choices, and I feared if I was caught, they would take it out on her just because we were sisters. So I still tried to be careful and not let the other nuns see me.

“One day, the boy convinced me to take a ride with him in his car. Sometimes I couldn't believe he saw any beauty in me while I was covered up in my habit, but he did. I could tell he liked me, too.”

“You have a beautiful face, Teresa.”

“
Grazie,
Rosalia. So I took a ride with him in the car. It was during siesta when the nuns took their nap—well, those who weren't praying. There were a few nuns who never took siesta and instead spent that time praying even more. I knew these nuns wouldn't notice my absence since they would be holed up in the chapel. I pretended to go to sleep so that Elisabetta and the other nun who shared our room wouldn't notice. As soon as I was certain they were sound asleep, I quietly made my way outside to the back of the convent, where the boy was waiting for me on the other side of the gate with his father's car.

“Once I was in the car and we had driven away from the convent, I took off my veil and unpinned my hair, shaking it out. I felt so free!

“The boy's eyes grew wide as he took in my blond hair.” Teresa laughed. “Thank God, we met once my hair had grown back or else he would've surely run when he saw the chick's head that mine resembled after the nuns had cut all my hair off.”

Rosalia laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. “You're too funny, Teresa!” She shook her head.

“Well, it's true. Anyway, my knight in shining armor took me into town and bought chocolate for me. Of course, people were staring at us because I was still dressed in that horrible habit. People must've thought I was mad since here was this nun, decked out in her full habit, but she was not wearing her wimple and veil and her hair was spread out over her shoulders. And she was in the company of a young man who it was obvious had designs on her.”

“That was so bold of you, Teresa!” Rosalia placed her hand over her mouth and giggled, imagining the strange sight that Teresa must've surely posed that day.

“It was. But you have to realize, Rosalia, I was nearly to the point of killing myself. That's how sad I was at the convent. I had become reckless, and I truly believed I would get away with it that day. But there was a priest who saw me, and he immediately called the convent. When the mother superior saw I was not sleeping in my room, she knew the priest was correct in identifying one of her nuns as being in town with a young man and not wearing her wimple and veil.

“When I came home, the mother superior yelled at me and made me kneel on a wooden pew in the chapel where we prayed. I had to keep my hands on top of the bench in front of me while she repeatedly hit them with a wooden paddle. Tears slid down my face, but I refused to cry out from the pain. She then told me I was no longer a nun and that I would have to leave the convent the next day. She said Elisabetta would also have to leave. Sorella Maria tried to intervene for Elisabetta, pleading with the mother superior to let her stay, but the mother superior wouldn't hear of it.

“ ‘They share the same blood. She will make fools of us someday just as her sister did,' the mother superior said.

“So, as I had suspected, the convent also punished Elisabetta for my behavior. The mother superior called Madre Carmela and asked her if she would take us in and employ us in the pastry shop. She told Madre Carmela that would be our way of paying for our room and board. I was kind of surprised the mother superior didn't just throw us out onto the street, not caring where we ended up, but I think Sorella Maria might have been the one to come up with the idea of asking Madre Carmela if she could hire us. I guess Sorella Maria did care about Elisabetta, and it wasn't just for her own selfish motives that she was encouraging my sister to become a nun. I suppose I should be grateful to her for finding us room and board.”

Teresa sighed before continuing. “Elisabetta has never forgiven me for what I did. She cried so much when we left the convent under the cover of night. The sisters didn't want the younger nuns to witness our leaving, and my defrocking. When we arrived at the Convento di Santa Lucia, I was relieved that Madre Carmela was much kinder than the mother superior from our old convent. And I was relieved the way of life was not as severe. I hoped that spending time here would rid Elisabetta of her desire to become a nun. But it didn't. Of course she can never go back to our old convent, but I think she is happy to be here and hopes she will be able to become a novitiate in Madre Carmela's order.”

“And what happened to that boy? Did you ever see him again?”

Teresa's face lit up. “The boy was Francesco.”

“Francesco!” Rosalia then remembered hearing from Antonio that Francesco's father owned a farm. “But how did he know you were here?”

“It was fate. That is how I know we were meant to be together. His father's farm is nearby, and Francesco had heard about the nuns' famous pastries. He and his father would often come by the shop to buy sweets for his mother. So he was shocked when he saw me selling at the pastry shop window.”

“This is why you haven't told Elisabetta yet about Francesco?”

“Yes. Although she never knew what he looked like or his name, I know she would still not approve. I think she hopes that I will come to my senses and ask if Madre Carmela would allow me to become a nun here, even though I've told Elisabetta I would rather die first.”

“I see. But she will find out once you're married, Teresa.”

“I know. But things will be different then. She won't be able to do anything about it once we're married, and I think she will respect my decision more then. If I tell her now of my plans, she will just think I am being foolish and rash again. I will tell her everything after Francesco and I are married. She will then see that I truly fell in love with Francesco from the moment I first saw him and that I wasn't just being a silly young woman when I snuck out of the convent that day to be with him.

“So we plan on eloping the week after Easter. I will need a witness, and Francesco has asked Antonio. And now that you know of our plans, I hope you will agree to be my witness at my wedding, Rosalia?”

“But how will I explain being gone from the convent that day?”

“We're going to do it on a day that we have off. Madre Carmela has let you go on your outings with Antonio. You can just act like it is another outing with him, which won't be untrue. She just won't know that I'll be there with Francesco—and neither will my sister.”

Rosalia thought for a moment. “All right. I'll do it.”

“
Grazie,
Rosalia!” Teresa hugged her.

Rosalia felt her stomach grumble. She had left a bag of
Piparelli,
covered up tightly, on the opposite side of the fountain so that she and Teresa could nibble on a few when they wanted a snack. Walking over to retrieve the biscotti, she was surprised to see her friend—the bluethroat—perched by the bag.

“Ah! You know what I have in this bag, don't you?”

The bluethroat looked at Rosalia, and a slight chill ran through her when the bird's eyes seemed to make direct contact with her own.

“He's so beautiful!” Teresa came to Rosalia's side. But the bird barely heeded her, instead watching Rosalia's movements as she pulled one of the
Piparelli
out of the bag and broke off a crumb to give to the bird. She held the crumb out, and the bird hopped over and quickly pecked at the crumb until it was all gone.

“He's not afraid of you!” Teresa marveled.

“Of course not. We're friends. I've been feeding him for a few months now. He's often on the branch that is just outside my window.” Rosalia pointed to her window.

“I don't think I've ever seen a bluethroat on the convent's grounds before.”

“Antonio told me he's seen this bird before, but no other bluethroats.”

“But how can you be sure it's the same one?”

“I can tell.”

Teresa reached into the bag and took one of the
Piparelli
for herself. “Ugghh! I'm so sick of these biscotti, but I'm hungry, so it'll have to do.”

Piparelli
were biscotti that were usually made during the Lenten season because the recipe did not call for eggs. Catholics were supposed to abstain from eating meat, fat, and eggs during Lent. Since Lent had begun, no meat or fat had been consumed at the convent. And while Sicilians still bought their sweets during Lent, although in more moderation, the sisters expected everyone who resided at the convent to only eat
Piparelli
. But Rosalia had weakened and given in to her craving for a marzipan fruit and would quickly pop a raspberry or cherry marzipan in her mouth when her back was turned toward the other workers in the kitchen.

Rosalia fed a few more crumbs to the bluethroat before finishing off the last biscotto. The bird glanced at her for a moment before flying away. Rosalia followed it with her eyes, but it was too fast for her, and she lost track of where it had flown. Every time she saw the bluethroat, it made her feel happy. She couldn't explain why.

Teresa let out a loud yawn as she glanced at her wristwatch. “I'm going to take a nap before siesta is over. All that running and chasing after you has tired me out. Are you coming inside?”

Rosalia shook her head. “I think I'm going to take a walk.” She loved strolling around the convent's grounds when everyone was taking their siesta. The serenity of the convent soothed her, and it was during these times that she felt most at peace.

“
Va bene.
Remember . . .” Teresa pressed her lips together and mimicked zipping them shut with her fingers.

“Don't worry, Teresa, your secret is safe with me.” Rosalia waved at her friend as she walked away.

Rosalia walked under the corridor where she and Teresa had been zigzagging in and out of the porticoes. She thought about Teresa and how sure she seemed about her love for Francesco. Then Rosalia thought about how she would miss her once Teresa married and moved to Messina. She sighed. But that was life, coming into contact with people and losing them. A quick jolt of pain pierced her heart, but she forced herself to push the feeling away. Taking deep breaths, she closed her eyes and soon felt calm again. Madre Carmela had taught her this form of meditation, not just for praying, but also for when Rosalia wanted to still her racing mind, especially when she was feeling anxious. It had helped her tremendously.

“Boo!”

“Oh!” Rosalia clutched her chest with her hands. “Antonio! You scared me!”