Rosemary Opens Her Heart: Home at Cedar Creek, Book Two (22 page)

He kissed you. Was that so wrong?

Rosemary set her half-full plate on the counter. She found the dish soap and began
to run hot water in the sink—anything logical and purposeful. When her hands were
busy, her thoughts were less likely to rush into places where they shouldn’t go. As
the steam rose, along with the lemon scent of the liquid soap, she closed her eyes.

Jah, he kissed me, Lord. And maybe I liked it a little too much. And maybe I’m afraid
that with all the plans Matt seems to have, my own ideas might get swept aside…like
they sometimes did with Joe.

Her eyes flew open. It wasn’t proper to think ill of the dead, especially since Joe
Yutzy had been a dependable husband and was the father of her child. And yet…

Forgive me, Jesus. While I didn’t always like to submit to my husband’s will, as a
Plain wife is supposed to do, I believe I am to submit to Your will, first and foremost.

She placed several cooking utensils in the hot, soapy water and began to wash them.
She had to admit it was a thrill to hear a nice fellow like Matt say such wonderful-gut
things about her. Was she being prideful or immodest? Was she running scared from
the secure future God was arranging for her? She must turn her doubts and fears over
to God for now, but she wasn’t giving Matt any answers just yet either.

As she set several glass pie pans in the hot water to soak, Rosemary inhaled the warm,
citrus scent and felt her emotions settling. This always happened after she took a
moment alone to talk to God. Through the window she saw Matt heading back to the greenhouse,
probably to refill his plate. No doubt she had hurt his feelings, but she’d been afraid.
And fear had no place in a serious relationship between a man and a woman.

But hadn’t Matt also said he admired and respected her? It was rare to hear an Amish
fellow express such sentiments—as well she
knew, after living with her stern, stoic dat and then with Joe and Titus. From what
she could tell, Matt was as dependable and sincere as Abby had said he was. Had he
meant it when he’d hinted over the phone that he would move to Queen City to be with
her? If she had that house built from the blueprints, Matt could bring his sheep to
her land and they would have a home of their own, and Titus wouldn’t feel compelled
to move to Cedar Creek. She would still live just down the road from Mamm and Malinda.
Life as she and Katie knew it would be so much simpler…

But I’m getting as much ahead of myself as Matt was, Lord. So for now I’ll just wash
these dishes and leave the future to You.

A
bby was standing at her mamm’s greenhouse sink, scraping the crusty hash-brown casserole
from the sides of an emptied glass pan, when James came to stand beside her. “I owe
you a big apology for my behavior the other night,” he murmured. “Can we talk about
it somewhere?”

She recognized the same pain in his expression that she’d been feeling since Sunday
evening, but what had taken him so long to come around?
Does that really matter? Hear him out, so you can put your doubts to rest.

Abby glanced behind them. The big glass room was noisy, with so many folks chatting
as they ate their meal, so the two of them would be able to converse quietly here.
As was the Amish custom, the Bontrager family and the older members of the Cedar Creek
community had been seated first, so she and James—the folks their age and younger—wouldn’t
fill their plates until this round of guests had finished their dinner. “I’m listening,”
she said as she ran water over the pan.

James gently grasped her wrist. “Abby.”

She stopped scrubbing the baked-on cheese, drawn in by his earnest gaze.

“You’re the last person in the world I want to hurt.” He leaned closer to speak near
her ear in a wistful voice. “I got cold feet because— Now don’t take this wrong, Abby,
but just when I was ready to kiss you the other night, your laughter sounded like
Zanna’s and I saw her in the way you raised your eyebrows—”

Abby blinked. This wasn’t what she’d expected to hear, yet James’s desperate expression
told her he was completely sincere. He looked exasperated with himself and spooked
by what had happened.

“—and I would
never
compare you to your sister, Abby,” he continued earnestly. “I ruined a wonderful-gut
ride, and it’s bothered me all week, and…I didn’t know how to tell you. Can you forgive
me, Abby? Please?”

Oh, but his gaze delved into her lonely heart, enough that she could set aside her
momentary disappointment that he’d thought about pretty, vivacious Zanna instead of
delivering that kiss they’d both wanted. But hadn’t it taken great courage to tell
her the truth? Some fellows would never bother trying to explain.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

It was the only line of the Lord’s Prayer that placed responsibility on the one asking
God for such things as daily bread and delivery from evil. And hadn’t everyone in
Cedar Creek witnessed the forgiveness James had granted Zanna?

Abby’s heart fluttered. Her disappointment released its grip. “Jah, James, I’ll forgive
you. I’m glad you asked. Glad you told me what happened.”

James exhaled. He rested his forehead against hers for only a moment, but his gesture
soothed her soul. “Denki,” he whispered. “I know I need to make up for the way I hurt
you, but I still want that kiss, you know. Don’t think for a minute that I’ve forgotten
about it.”

Abby felt a pleasant rush of warmth. She considered giving him a peck on the cheek,
but with so many folks in the room this wasn’t the time or the place. “Gut, because
I haven’t, either.” She eased
away from him, thinking of a safer topic, should anyone come up behind them. “So—tell
me what’s going on at Graber’s Custom Carriages now that you’ve gotten all those calls.”

James placed the catering pans Abby had just washed in a wagon with high sides and
a handle so they could haul them to the house for refills. “It’s going to be an exciting
new venture, but I’ll be mighty busy. I’ve taken orders for three more parade buggies.
Another fellow wanted half a dozen hay wagons for the Agricultural Hall of Fame in
Bonner Springs, Kansas, so Perry, Leon, and Noah will have extra vehicles to work
on, as well.”

“And every one of them will be wonderful. Sturdy and well crafted,” Abby replied with
a nod.

“I’m grateful to Vernon—and to you, Abby—for helping me keep this flurry of business
in perspective.” James smiled at her as though she were the only person in the huge,
crowded room. “I turned away orders for five more special rigs because I can’t guarantee
their quality if I take on too much work. I see no practical way to expand my shop
space or to hire any other experienced carriage makers right now.”

“It’s gut to set limits.” Abby reached for another glass pan to scrape, feeling mischievous.
“We don’t want anyone to say that all work and no play has made James a dull boy,
you know.”

His laughter rang out, and then he leaned in closer so only she would hear him. “I
don’t want
you
to think I’ve become dull, Abby. There’s more to life than welding and painting and
wiring light panels, ain’t so?”

Abby’s pulse sped up, but as she was about to respond, the door from her mother’s
front shop swung open and Matt stepped through. He looked ready to cry—or to cuss,
the way some young fellows did during their rumspringa. As her nephew gazed down the
length of the serving table, his empty plate in his hand, she stepped away from James.

“We’ll be bringing fresh pans of everything from the house in
just a few, Matt,” she said. Rather than ask why his mood had changed so drastically,
she buttered a slice of Lois Yutzy’s fresh rye bread, knowing it was one of his favorites.
“So…after another slice or two of that apple pie, you’re not full?”

“I’ve ruined it.” He shook his head forlornly. “I’ve ruined everything, Aunt Abby.”

“How’s that?” James inquired as he joined them. “Last I saw, you and Rosemary were
slipping into the swing for a nice chat and—”

“I kissed her,” Matt confessed. “I couldn’t help myself. And she jumped out of the
swing like she couldn’t run away fast enough.”

Abby shared a glance with James. Wasn’t it ironic that a kiss—or the absence of one—had
caused so much commotion lately? What could she say to make her nephew feel better,
preferably before his friends or his sisters quizzed him about his dejected expression?
“I’ve heard more than one widow admit it was difficult to accept affection from a
new fella. Maybe—”

“She was trying to tell me she needed more time, that I was moving too fast, and what
did I do?” Matt chided himself. “I raced right along on my own excitement, not paying
her one bit of attention.”

“Because she’s just what you’ve been searching for, and you couldn’t wait for her
feelings to catch up to yours,” James said, clapping Matt on the back. “You’re not
the first fella who’s ever done that, you know. Could be that after Rosemary settles
down, she’ll realize she
liked
that kiss. And truth be told, you can give some gals forever and a day and they still
won’t come around. Or they’ll fall for some other man in the meanwhile.”

Abby winced. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. Rosemary’s a very sweet woman and
awfully young to be alone for the rest of her life. I’m thinking things will work
out, Matt. Patience is a virtue.”

“Jah, but it’s obviously not a virtue of mine.” He looked through the nearest window,
toward the house. “Guess I’ll stay out of the kitchen…eat another slice or two of
that fabulous apple pie, and leave her be.”

“Time and pie heal all wounds, Matt,” James remarked with a nod.

Abby glanced around the noisy greenhouse. Her mother, Barbara, the girls, and the
neighbors helping with this meal were all here, pouring water and refilling the bread
baskets as they visited with those who’d come to remember Paul today. “Seems like
a gut time to head to the kitchen for more food,” she said as she grasped the handle
of the cart. “Maybe I can smooth things over so Rosemary won’t go home feeling bad
about how your picnic ended.”

“Jah, thanks, Aunt Abby. Rosemary likes you a lot, so whatever you say to her will
go over better than anything I could come up with.” Matt looked glumly at James. “I’d
better fetch that pie from the swing before the dogs find it. Bring a fork and I’ll
share a piece.”

“Best offer I’ve heard all day.” James found a clean fork on the back counter and
then slipped his hand around Abby’s for a moment. “How about you let me pull this
cart to the kitchen door, and when you’ve refilled the pans I’ll bring them back.
By then it should be safe to come into the kitchen.”

“Denki, James. Bringing the hot food sounds like the best way to be first in line
for the next shift, ain’t so?”

He laughed and followed her through the back door. “I can’t get a thing past you,
can I?”

As the three of them crossed the yard, Abby wondered what she might say to calm Rosemary’s
jitters. Or should she let matters take their own course? She’d never lost a husband
or taken on responsibilities for a family other than her own, so she had no idea about
all the concerns the young widow might be facing. As Matt held open the back door
to the kitchen, James rolled the loaded cart inside and Abby stepped in behind it.

Her mouth fell open. All the glass pie plates were washed and stacked on the counter.
The utensils they had cooked with all morning were clean and neatly arranged on the
table, and Rosemary was draping her damp dish towel over the drying rack. “My word,
Rosemary!
We didn’t expect you to clean up all by yourself,” she exclaimed. “Barbara and Mamm
will be mighty glad you came today—but then, they’d be happy to have you here even
if you hadn’t lifted a finger.”

“How could I not help? It’s what I know how to do,” Rosemary said with a shrug. “And
without Katie to look after, well—I’m not used to having free time and empty hands,
you see.”

When Abby lifted the metal pans to the tabletop, Rosemary was beside her immediately
to assist…not ready to talk about why she had escaped into the kitchen. And that was
all right, wasn’t it? Sometimes a little peace and quiet set a lot of things right
in a woman’s heart. “It’s nearly time to serve the next shift, so let’s fill these
pans with ham and chicken. James will take them back for us.”

Nodding, Rosemary opened the wall oven and carried pan after pan of meat to the table.
“You and James make a gut team, Abby. He’s a mighty nice fella—and you’d never know
he went through such an ordeal with Zanna,” she remarked. “Maybe he’s finally seeing
the way
your
light shines, ain’t so?”

Abby looked up from the hot pieces of chicken she was transferring. Matt had been
so concerned that he’d upset this young woman, yet she seemed collected and composed
now—not to mention observant. “James and I had our first date last weekend. And isn’t
that a funny bit for a maidel like me to be admitting?”