Rotten Luck! (4 page)

Patchcoat and I looked at each other as Sir Percy galloped off.

“Don’t worry, Ced,” said Patchcoat. “He’ll soon realize this isn’t the way. Then we’ll just turn round and come back.”

“I hope so,” I sighed. “That’s if we’re not eaten by a monster first!”

Chapter 4

Bear Scare

“Can’t be far now!” said Sir Percy for the umpteenth time.

It was three hours later and we had stopped for a late picnic lunch. So late, in fact, that it was nearly dinner. Unfortunately, my master still showed no sign of turning back.

“We’re almost there, you mark my
words,” he said, swallowing the last of his cold peacock pie. “In fact, we’d see the castle by now if this dashed forest weren’t in the way.”

I doubted that. Not only was there no sign of the castle, there was no sign of anything at all. Except trees, trees and more trees.

As we set off again I realized the light was starting to fade. It was getting harder to see the path in front of us. If that wasn’t bad enough, the branches were really low, so we had to dismount and lead Prancelot and Gristle by the reins.

“I must say I’m looking forward to a nice
hot
dinner,” said Sir Percy. “I wonder
how much further it is.”

“Look!” I said, squinting in the gloom. “There’s someone on the path ahead! They might know, Sir Percy.”

“So there is,” said Sir Percy. “I say, you there!” he hollered. “Is it far to the castle?”

The person had his back to us and he didn’t turn round. His only reply was a surly grunt.

“How rude!” muttered Sir Percy. “Obviously another of these woodland loner types. Woodcutter or somesuch.”

He tried once more. “My good fellow, I asked you a simple question. Is it far to the castle?”

But the figure just grunted again. It was
hard to tell in the twilight, but he appeared to be heavily built and wearing some kind of thick overall and hat.

“Now look here,” harrumphed Sir Percy. “I am Sir Percy Piers Peregrine de Bluster de Bombast and I will
not
be addressed in that impolite manner. Will you
kindly
answer my question?”

The answer was a growl followed by a loud, bloodcurdling ROAR!

“We’ll take that as a
no
then,” said Patchcoat, as the stranger slowly turned round.

Uh-oh.
“That’s no woodcutter, Sir Percy,” I said. “That’s a BEAR! RUN FOR IT!”

ROARRRR!

“Aargh!”

“Yikes!”

“Eek!”

Prancelot and Gristle bolted into the trees. And we weren’t far behind, running like crazy with the bear crashing through the undergrowth in hot pursuit.

I blundered blindly through the dark forest, tripping over roots and ivy and being walloped by branches. I was falling further and further behind. Eventually I had to stop and catch my breath.

So this is it
, I thought.
I’m never going to be a knight. I’m going to be a bear’s bedtime snack instead!

I waited for the bear to appear. Nothing. Either we’d given the bear the slip or it had changed its mind about having us as a tasty three-course meal.

“Sir Percy! Patchcoat! Stop!” I called. “The bear’s gone!”

I ran and caught up with them.

“Excellent!” said Sir Percy, between
gasps for breath. “I knew my – um – plan would work!”

“Plan, Sir Percy?” I asked.

“Indeed, my plan to, er, bamboozle the bear by – um – leading it into unfamiliar territory,” he panted. “Very useful tactic for, er, er – confusing an enemy, Cedric!”

A tactic otherwise known as running for your life like a gibbering crazy person
, I thought.

Hearing a soft whinnying in the bushes nearby, Patchcoat and I went to fetch Prancelot and Gristle.

“First a monster and now a bear!” said Patchcoat. “This sure is one scary forest, Ced!”

“Too right,” I agreed. “But at least we haven’t had to face the Ghost and his gang yet.”

“Right, chaps,” said Sir Percy, when we returned. “That’s quite enough adventure for one day. It’s dinner and bed for me! Let’s get back on the path.”

“Er, just one little question, Sir Percy,” I said. “Where exactly
is
the path?”

“Well, it’s
this
way, of course,” said Sir Percy, striding ahead. “Ah, no, hold on, it’s – it’s—” He stopped in his tracks.

We’d run a long way and in the darkness it was impossible to remember which direction we’d come from. We were lost, at night, in the middle of Grimwood.

“We shall simply have to set up camp,” said Sir Percy. “We must make a fire and find ourselves something to eat. It’ll all be rather jolly.”

He sat down on a tree stump. “So, while you two chaps get on with those little jobs,” he said, “I’ll take full responsibility for – um – keeping guard.”

As usual I’d be doing the dirty work, but at least I had Patchcoat to help me. And he happened to have a tinderbox in his jester’s bag, so making the fire turned out to be easy. Once the blaze was going, I thought about finding food. But what?
It was the wrong time of year for berries and nuts.

Sir Percy had nipped behind a tree for a tinkle. Suddenly he started to yelp.

“Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ah! Cedric, help! Ow!”

“What is it, Sir Percy?” I said, running over.

“A dockleaf, Cedric, quickly!” he winced. “I’ve –
ouch
– stung myself.”

Sir Percy had accidentally blundered into a patch of nettles in the dark. While I was fetching him some dockleaves, I remembered that my mum often made dockleaf soup. I gave him the leaves then went to collect some more in a pot from Gristle’s saddlebag. After picking off all the slugs, I filled the pot with water from a nearby stream and put it on the fire. Before long we were taking it in turns to sip the thick green soup straight from the pot.

“Thank you, Cedric,” said Sir Percy. “Rather dull peasant fare, but at least you tried to liven it up with one or two mushrooms.”

“Mushrooms, Sir Percy?”

“Yes,” he said, fishing out a slimy-looking lump. Before I could stop him he popped it in his mouth and chomped. “And very tasty they are, too. If somewhat on the
chewy
side.”

Whoops. It turned out I
hadn’t
picked off all the slugs.
Ew
.

A couple of hours later, Patchcoat and I were sitting by the fire while Sir Percy dozed against a tree. He’d given us first watch, with strict instructions to wake him after two hours. The tiny fact that we had no way at all of telling the time didn’t seem to bother him.

An owl hooted nearby, making us jump.

“I dunno about you, Ced, but I’ll be glad to be out of this forest!” said Patchcoat.

“Me, too,” I said. “Do you think anyone is missing us back at the castle?”

“Doubt it,” said Patchcoat. “Sir Percy never said how long his hunt for the Ghost
was going to take. Not that he had any
intention
of doing any actual hunting, of course.”

I sighed. “So we could be lost in the forest for a
week
before anyone misses us.”

“Or a month,” said Patchcoat. “Or a year, even.”

“Thanks, Patchcoat,” I said. “That’s really cheered me up.”

“Look on the bright side, Ced,” he grinned. “After a year of dock-and-slug soup, Margaret’s porridge will taste like a royal banquet!”

He chuckled to himself and stretched out next to the fire. I tossed a couple more branches on to the flames.

“I reckon it’s time to wake Sir Percy now, don’t you?” I said.

But Patchcoat had nodded off. I went to my master and gently shook his shoulder.

“Nnnng! Eh? Wha…” he grunted, half opening an eye. “BEARS! HELP! HELP!”

“It’s only me, Sir Percy,” I said. “It’s your turn to keep watch.”

“Eh? What? Yes, yes, all right,” he said, his head lolling forward on to his chest once more. “Hmmnnnninaminute.” He closed his eyes and started to snore.

I tried shaking his shoulder again but he just snored more loudly.
Suspiciously
loudly.

“Great,” I sighed. “It looks like I’ll be staying up all night.”

I decided to walk around a bit to try and keep myself awake, but I soon turned back. Even just beyond the firelight the forest was so dark I couldn’t see a thing.

I was returning to the others when something flapped past my face.

“Yikes!” I was so startled that I lost my balance and tumbled into some bracken. “Bloomin’ bats!” I muttered.

As I got to my feet, I spotted a gleam of light in the distance. Funny, I didn’t think I’d wandered so far from the fire. But then I saw another gleam – and another, and another! They looked like torches. But
whose? Maybe it was a search party! I had to tell the others.