Rough Rider (12 page)

“Yeah and what do you get?”

“That it ain't rodeo. There's more I want to do with my life.”

“And what's that?”

“Dunno yet. I'll figure the rest out on the way.”

“On the way where? You goin' some place, Pretty Boy?”

“Yeah.” Dirk stood. “I am. I got a hankering to see the ocean. I'm leaving tonight.”

“Did you hit your head again? You're talking like you scrambled your fucking brain.”

“Nope. I just need a change of scenery… Say good-bye to her for me.”

Grady smirked. “So it's Janice? That's what this is really about? You're bowing out?”

Dirk threw the last of his gear in his bag. “Looks to me like she's already made her choice. Might not be the best one, but what's done is done. Just know that if you hurt her, I'll tear you a new asshole.”

“Hurt her? Shit!” he scoffed. “I'll treat her like a fucking queen.”

“For how long?” Dirk demanded.

“Till death do us part… I intend to marry her.”

“Oh, yeah?” Dirk rose and slung his bag over his shoulder. “Then I just hope she has the good sense to refuse. You ain't husband material, Grady.” He took a few steps and turned around. “I mean it, Grady. Treat her right.”

“Or what?” Grady challenged.

“Or I swear to God, you'll answer to me.”

* * *

Janice showered quickly and then threw on her Dixie Chicks T-shirt before toweling her hair dry. She'd hung up the towel and was just about to rake a comb through her hair when a rap sounded on the door. Was it Dirk? His actions in the arena tonight had unsettled her. It was as if he'd dared the bull to gore him. The thought of it had made her knees buckle. All of her anger and resentment were washed away by a flood of fear. Try as she might to deny it, she still cared for Dirk.

“Janice? You ready?” Grady called through the door. “We gotta hustle to catch the second half.”

She had no plans of going out after the news she'd received from home, but she hadn't told Grady. She answered the door, only realizing at Grady's stunned expression that she wore only the T-shirt. She hadn't even put underwear on.

“Wasn't what I expected.” He grinned. “But I can sure dig the look.”

“I'm sorry, Grady, but I'm not going anywhere tonight.”

“Hey, I'm easy to please.” He didn't wait for an invitation before stepping into the trailer. “I'm happy to stay in if that's your preference. I'm sure we can find plenty to entertain ourselves.” His gray eyes raked over her meaningfully.

Janice felt a surge of irritation. “No. You don't understand. Too much has happened tonight. The phone call from home. Seth Lawson killed by one of my bulls. I can't even process it all—”

“You saying you wanna be alone?”

Did she? She had to think about that. No, she didn't want to be alone. “I guess not,” she replied softly. “But I'm not good company right now.”

Grady's hands came down on her shoulders. Janice fought the urge to shrug them off. He seemed too possessive all of a sudden. “Told you I'm here for you, Sweet Cheeks, and it looks like it's gonna be just the two of us from here on out.”

“What do you mean?” she said. “What about Dirk?”

“He's gone.”

“Gone? I don't understand
.
”

“He packed up his shit and left as soon as his ride was done.” He patted his shirt pocket. “Didn't even wait for his paycheck. Just got in his truck and split.”

“Did he go home to the ranch?”

“Don't think so. He mumbled something about the ocean.”

“The ocean?” Janice was truly baffled. “What ocean? There isn't any ocean in this part of the country.”

“Hell if I know what he meant. Does it really matter?” Grady asked. “He's split and I'm here.” He put his arms around her, drawing her closer. She fought the impulse to push away, but it felt so good just to be held by somebody—even if his weren't the arms she craved.

“No,” Janice whispered woodenly. “I don't suppose it matters…not anymore.”

“It's just you and me now, and I swear I'll take real good care of you.”

“Take care of me? How?”

“I'm going to the finals in Vegas, Sweet Cheeks, and you're coming with me.”

Janice stared at him speechless. “I don't understand. What would you need me for?”

“The wedding, baby doll,” he replied with his cockiest grin. “After I win the World Championship, you're gonna marry me.”

His words had stunned her into silence, and then his mouth had followed.

Passive and accepting, she'd just let it all happen.

Las Vegas, Nevada

“When are they going to start, Mama?” Cody climbed to his feet and began bouncing up and down on his seat.

“Soon, Cody. Real soon. Please sit down. The people behind you can't see.”

“I can't see either. Where's my daddy?”

“He's not up yet, sweetheart. He'll be riding later.”

“Why doesn't he get to go first?”

“Because all the cowboys have to draw a number. It's how they make it fair. They draw the bulls too, so we never know which cowboy is gonna ride which bull.”

“Daddy said he'll win if he gets to ride that muverfucker Gangbanger.”

Janice cringed as three heads turned to gape. “Cody!”

His eyes widened, completely unaware of his transgression. “What'd I do, Mama?”

“Nothing, baby.” She ruffled his red hair. “I'll take it up later with your daddy.” It wasn't Cody's fault. He was just parroting Grady. He'd lusted after that bull for four years and tonight he'd finally get his wish.

Janice stared wistfully out across the dirt-filled arena to the bull pens, the place she'd once thought of as her second home, the world she'd left behind. Instead of standing in her old place behind the chutes, she now sat front and center at the Rank & Ready World Bull Riding Championships, surrounded by the wives and family members of the world's top-ranked cowboys—most of whom chattered in Portuguese. The Brazilians had dominated the sport for years. She hoped tonight that Grady would change all that.

She still loved bull riding and missed the sounds, the excitement, the feeling of connectedness with the riders. Hell, she even missed the smells. It still felt strange to be an outsider looking in—not that she could have done it anymore anyhow.

Her pregnancy had come as a shock. She and Grady hadn't even talked about kids and then suddenly they had one on the way. She'd had a real hard time of it too, almost miscarried twice. In the end, she'd had to leave the bull-riding tour and go back home to Montana. The last six weeks she'd spent almost entirely in bed.

Between her difficult pregnancy and her father's fight with cancer, they'd had to sell off almost everything—the horses, the cows, and even most of the ranch. Grady was constantly on the road, Janice couldn't help, and Mama couldn't run it by herself. They'd held on to Mag the longest, but even he had eventually gone to the highest bidder. Grady had counted on the ranch as his retirement legacy, but it was all gone and he resented the hell out of her for it. Grady was traveling almost all the time, which made it easier, but even when he was home, he paid little attention to either of them.

It wasn't the life she'd dreamed of, but she still had hopes to make it work. At least now Grady was winning more often than not. If he took the championship tonight, they'd have money enough to buy a place of their own, instead of living like gypsies in cheap motels.

“Janice? Is that you?” A light touch on her shoulder and an achingly familiar baritone voice broke into her thoughts. She spun around, feeling as if the breath had been crushed out of her chest at the sight of his face. For four years she'd tried to put Dirk Knowlton out of her mind, but try as she might, she could never forget him. His eyes were still the same startling icy blue, but they were also somehow different. Older. And shadowed. More sober. He'd matured.

“Dirk? Oh my God! I can't believe it's you! Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Just got back from the sand pits and I'm on leave. I was watching ESPN last week and saw Grady's qualifying ride so I decided to come out.”

“But I thought you and Grady…”

“What's done is done.” He shrugged. “It's been four years. Life's too short. Grudges and regrets both just get heavier the longer you carry them. So it's past time to get over it, right?”

He spoke rhetorically, but his gaze seemed too probing, as if it really was a question he expected her to answer.
Get
over
it
or
him?
She'd done neither. But he was right. What was done couldn't be undone.

“Mama! Who's that?”

Dirk's gaze darted to Cody and then back to Janice. “You have a kid?”

“Yes, Dirk. This is Cody.” She turned to her son. “Cody, this is Mr. Dirk. He used to rodeo with your daddy.”

“You don't do it anymore?” Cody asked.

“Nope.” Dirk shook his head. “I quit four years ago. I'm a marine now.”

Cody's face wrinkled. “What's a mawine?”

“It's kind of like a soldier and a sailor combined,” Janice explained.

“Oh.”

The announcer's voice interrupted the exchange, introducing the barrel man. Cody's attention riveted back to the arena. “Look, Mama! It's a clown.”

Dirk tipped his hat. “I'll catch up with you afterwards? Maybe we can all have dinner?”

“Yes, Dirk,” Janice replied. “I…we'd like that. Grady'll be really surprised.”

* * *

Dirk went to find his seat, shaking his head in disbelief.
She
had
a
kid.

He'd known Janice and Grady had married right after he joined up. His mother's letters had kept him informed about all the local gossip, but she'd never mentioned they'd had a son. The knowledge had lambasted him. He didn't know why. Maybe a piece of him hadn't wanted to let go of the past…let go of her. There was so much he'd wanted to say if he ever saw her again, but none of it mattered anymore. All that counted was that she was happy.

Dirk watched a dozen rides with a sense of total detachment until Grady's name came up. He'd drawn a bull named Gangbanger. The announcer called out the animal's stats—thirty outs no rides. Grady's kinda bull. He might be one of the top contenders tonight, but with this bull, there was no margin for error.

Dirk's muscles tensed involuntarily as he watched the action behind the chutes. He could almost feel the adrenaline rush that he'd thought long forgotten, or at least replaced with the state of total hyperawareness that preceded combat. He found himself on the edge of his seat by the time Grady gave the nod. A millisecond later, Gangbanger spun out of the gate like an F4 tornado. Grady was in near-perfect form the entire eight-second ride and his expression at the whistle said it all—it was the smug-as-hell smile of the new world champion.

After the last ride, Dirk made his way through the crowd to the bull pens. He found Grady already in full celebration mode. But rather than rejoicing in his victory with his wife and son, he was swigging from a foaming bottle of champagne while the buckle bunnies swarmed. Dirk searched the crowd for Janice and found her standing quietly in the background, holding Cody's hand, looking on with her lips pressed into a fake smile.

His gut churned at the realization that Grady never even looked in Janice's direction. He'd thought she was content until that moment, or maybe that's what his conscience had wanted to believe, but her eyes told a completely different story. He pressed his way through the revelers to her side.

“Mr. Dirk!” Cody squealed. “Did you see it? My daddy won! He's the champion of the whole wide world!”

“I did see it, Cody. It was a great ride.”

“I'm gonna be a world champion too when I gwow up.”

“I'm sure you will be.” He ruffled the little boy's curls and stood back with Janice while Cody entertained himself by climbing the panel of an empty pen. He watched her watching the boy, with love and more than a little sadness reflected in her eyes. He'd give anything in that moment to take her in his arms and make it all better. But he didn't have that right. He'd given it to Grady. Now he'd never felt so helpless in his life. “You OK, Red?” he asked, trying to pose the question with just the right amount of concern and ease to open the door. He'd help her, if she'd let him. But that was a ridiculous thought. He couldn't help her, even if she would let him. And she wouldn't. Of that he was sure.

“Yes. It's just overwhelming. We hoped of course, but with bulls, you never know.” She nodded to Grady and the autograph seekers. “Looks like he's going to be a while yet. I need to get Cody home to bed. I'm afraid we'll have to take a rain check on that dinner, but there's a big after-party at the PBR Rock Bar. You should go with him, Dirk.”

“You aren't going?” he asked in surprise.

“No. I can't. Besides, I'm not much for parties, and this one is certain to get wilder than I like. I'm sure Grady's going to be out all night celebrating.” She offered a weak smile. “You know how he is.”

“Yeah. I know all right.”

“Maybe you can look after him for me? I know he's gonna get wasted. I can't do anything about that, but I just want him to get home in one piece.”

“Yeah, I can watch over him—as much as he'll let me, anyway.”

“Thanks, Dirk.” She paused. “Are you in town long? Will I—I mean—will we see you again?”

“Dunno. Don't really have any plans.”

“Are you going home at all?”

“Nope. Not this time. It'd be too damned awkward.”

“Awkward? What do you mean? Oh.” Her mouth gaped. “I'm sorry…I'd heard about the wedding. I'm so stupid.” She shut her eyes with an embarrassed head shake.

“It's nothing, Red. I wish Wade and Rachel well, but if I suddenly showed up…” He shrugged. “You know how it would be. It's a small town. They don't need any more fodder for gossip than they already have.”

“So you're honestly OK with it? With Wade and Rachel?”

“They're consenting adults. Besides, her father never thought I was good enough anyway. He once said he'd rather see her with Wade. I just hope they're doing it for the right reasons.”

“Yeah. The right reasons,” she whispered. “Sometimes people make big mistakes. Huge life-altering mistakes. At the time they think they're doing the right thing, but they realize later that it was for all the wrong reasons.”

He couldn't help himself. He had to hear it from her lips. “Are you unhappy, Red? Has he hurt you?”

“Does it really matter?” Janice gave a fatalistic shrug. “I made my bed. And Cody here is late for his.”

“Has he hurt you?” he demanded, more insistent. “I want to know, Janice.”

“He doesn't beat me, if that's what you're asking, but there are worse ways to hurt someone.”

His mouth thinned. “Like how?”

She looked away. “I really don't want to discuss my marriage to Grady, especially not in front of Cody.”

“I understand. Do you need a ride somewhere?”

She hesitated, her gazed locked with his for a long moment before breaking away. “No. I don't think that's a good idea. But thank you for the offer. I'll just take the truck back to the hotel if you can give Grady a lift later.”

He nodded. “I'll see him back to you when it's all done.”

Later that night he was glad he hadn't promised her it would be in one piece.