Rough Riders Bundle 1(books 1, 2, 3) (102 page)

“Thought if I ran by you really fast you wouldn’t have no time to yell at me.”

Cord froze. “What? Why would I yell at you?”

“You’ve been kinda grouchy. Aunt Keely says it’s ’cause you got your head up your—”

“Kyler! You weren’t supposed to repeat that.”

Ky grinned and ran in the house.

“I didn’t know you were gonna be around to corrupt my son, Aunt Keely.”

“I’m on break and have a couple of things to take care of before I go back.”

He wondered if AJ was on break too. He sipped his beer.

Keely sighed. “See, Ma? I told you. He’s the most stubborn of all of them.”

“Yep. Just like his father.”

“What’d I do? Why are you ganging up on me?”

His little sister teetered on the tips of her boots and stuck her nose right in his business. “Why don’t you ask the damn question I see in your eyes, Cord?”

“Fine. Why ain’t she returning my calls?”

“Because you’re a clueless asshole who doesn’t deserve her.”

“Keely West McKay,” Carolyn said sharply, “that isn’t helping.”

“I don’t care. She’s mooned around you for years—years! Why? She’s shouldered more responsibilities than anyone should, which is probably why she was so drawn to you in the first place, Mr. Large and In Charge—”

“Whoa, back up. What do you mean mooned around me for years? She’s twenty-two.”

“She has some crazy notion she’s been in love with you since she was five.”

“No,” he breathed, but the truth pummeled him from every direction as the things AJ said came rushing back.

Because I’m definitely smitten with you.

I’ve had a crush on you for so long.

You’ve been my fantasy man since that day all those years ago.

Keely’s eyes burned with anger and tears. “You think it’s a coincidence she was untouched? No. AJ saved her virginity for
you
.”

I’m so glad I waited. Waited for you to be ready for me.

“I thought it was stupid, I still do. I tried to talk her out of waiting because I didn’t think you could love her like she’s dreamed of her whole life.”

Just like this. Love me like this, slow and easy and for a long time. Make it last forever.

“She’s the closest thing I have to a sister and I hate that my brother is just like every other man—taking what’s offered and giving nothin’ in return.”

“Cord West McKay. Is that true?” his mother demanded.

Cord’s cheeks grew hot. Partially because his mother was listening to the conversation; partially because he felt the need to defend himself. Keely was dead wrong. “She came to me. So don’t you go blaming me. I offered to marry her.”

“Like you were doing her a favor,” Keely snapped. “Like she was just one of the fringe benefits of taking over the Foster ranch.”

“That’s not true. I care about her.”

“Care? Jesus, Cord. You care about horses, and cattle, and the ranch. If you care about a person, you tell them you love them. Hell, you shout it from the rooftops.”

All I wanted was for you to love me. Just love me.

“Why haven’t you done that?”

“I don’t know!”

“That’s bullshit,” Keely said. “AJ deserves better than you. Why should
she
have to be the one to convince you she’s worthy of
you
? You oughta be on your knees proving that you’re worthy of
her
. Instead, you’re here glaring at me, acting as pigheaded as every other man in this testosterone-laden family.” Keely whirled away.

He snagged Keely’s elbow. “What do you want me to say? I nearly lost my fuckin’ mind when I realized no one in my entire family knew what she’d been through all those years to keep that goddamn ranch when she was merely a girl? That I nearly wept with fear when I considered I could’ve lost her forever if she hadn’t been in my bed the night her house caught fire?

“Should I tell her that I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I miss talkin’ to her? Or just sittin’ with her? That I miss the secret way she smiles at me? That I constantly think about the way she smells, the taste of her mouth, the feel of her skin, and the sound of her laughter?

“That she’s the only woman I’ve ever met who gets everything about me? My moods, my needs, my ties to the land? She sees the beauty in a patch of weeds out in the middle of nowhere Wyoming? That I love she can saddle and ride a horse faster than me? That she ain’t as shy as she pretends? That she doesn’t mind muckin’ out stalls? And checkin’ cattle?

“She loves sunsets and bakin’ cookies and holdin’ babies and two-steppin’ and all that corny country shit? She loves my son, and how was I supposed to tell her how much I love her, when I was scared to death she’d leave me—and then that’s exactly what she did anyway?”

He was breathing hard and damn near tears. “You tell me how I’m supposed to deal with that, Keely, ’cause I sure as hell don’t know.”

The sudden silence was like more salt in his wound.

“You stupid jerk. You really
do
love her.” Keely all-but tackled him in a bear hug. “She didn’t leave you.”

“Well, she ain’t here.”

“But she will be if you give her a reason to come back.” She tipped her head back and stared into his eyes. “You do realize how important it is for AJ to finish school? For herself? There’s so little she’s done for herself, like you, everything she’s done has been for her family.”

“Guess I didn’t understand. Guess maybe I thought school was a whim—”

“—like marrying a Wyoming rancher and hightailing it back to the big city when it didn’t work out? AJ is not Marla. But you will lose her if
you
don’t take the first step this time. She gave you her trust, it’s time for you to give her yours and toss in your heart to up the ante.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

Carolyn snorted.

Cord’s and Keely’s eyes swiveled her direction.

“Why don’t you ask your father? He’s had to grovel a time or two hundred. He can give you lots of pointers.” Her smile faded. “But if you really want to show Amy Jo she matters to you? Prove you listened to her thoughts and opinions, hopes and dreams over pillow talk or during dinner or while you were cleaning the barn. She gave you the map to her heart, son, you just gotta learn to read it.”

A gust of wind rattled the chimes on the porch, breaking the lingering silence.

Cord smiled and let the sage-scented breeze soothe his troubled mind. He could do this. He
had
to do this. “A map, huh? I can work with that.”

‡

Four weeks later…

A
J was dragging
butt after a long day of classes. She waited for the elevator, clenching and unclenching her fists. Her hands hurt. Had she given everyone in the free world a massage this week?

The apartment she shared with Keely was dead quiet. AJ let out a sigh of relief. As much as she loved her roommate, she needed some down time. Keely was a whirlwind of activity. When she wasn’t studying or working she had to be out doing things and she demanded AJ come along for the ride.

It hadn’t taken long for AJ to get back into the swing of school. Between the three extra classes and finishing an extra work-study course in four days, she was still on track to graduate right before Christmas.

Not that she had a clue what she’d do once she received the diploma. As much as she loved her mom and sister, she’d rather live in Denver than Billings. She’d filled out the paperwork for the Wyoming economic development’s no-interest loan, an initiative for opening her own studio in Sundance, but she wouldn’t have the final word on whether she’d received it until after the first of the year.

Every week different businesses would come to the college to recruit students. AJ could probably pick and choose where she wanted to work—but none of the health care companies were in Wyoming. Where her heart was.

Her weary head fell into the couch cushions. For the first two weeks after her house burned down and she’d returned to Denver, Cord called her every day. Sometimes twice a day. She never picked up. The messages weren’t sweet and loving, but terse. Typical. Then he’d stopped calling altogether.

AJ knew things were crazy at the McKay ranch. Colt had returned home after a month-long stint in rehab. Channing’s pregnancy wasn’t going smoothly and the doc put her on partial bed rest, which worried Colby. Carter postponed his art show to help out on the ranch since Kade was gone for the whole winter. Quinn and Bennett pitched in. Macie ran into major remodeling snags with the diner, which required her constant on-site supervision.

And Cord…well, evidently Cord was the glue that held it all together.

So who held him together?

No one. She had no doubt Cord worked all day, came home and cared for his son, and fell into bed exhausted and alone every night.

Which made her heart hurt. AJ hadn’t stopped loving him, she was pretty sure if Cord could love any woman, it would be her. She wondered fifteen times every day if she’d done the right thing in walking away from him, when he’d offered her exactly what she’d wanted from him.

Wrong. You wanted his love. You didn’t get that.

Two loud raps on the metal door startled her. She stood and looked out the peephole. A deliveryman. With flowers.

The safety chain clicked when she opened the door a crack. “Yes?”

“Flower delivery.”

Great. More flowers for Keely from one of her many admirers. “Who’re the flowers for?”

“AJ Foster.”

“Really?” She squealed and flung open the door. She’d never gotten flowers before. Ever. She took the bouquet to the table to rip open the card:

AJ—Close as I could get to Wyoming wildflowers.

Hope it reminds you of home. I miss you.

Cord

Her mouth hung open. Cord had sent her flowers? She peered at the small purple daisies and the big yellow mums and the thick greenish-yellow stem which sort of resembled goldenrod. And the tiny white baby’s breath, which reminded her of cow parsnip. She sniffed. Yep. He’d even had the florist use sage as the greenery. She grinned. Probably cost him an arm and a leg for that extra touch. Still, his sweetness touched her.

The next week Cord sent her two tickets to the Dixie Chicks concert at the Pepsi center. It shocked her that he’d remembered they were her favorite band. She dragged Keely along and bought a “Cowboy Take Me Away” concert T-shirt. But it didn’t replace Cord’s T-shirt—the one she’d ended up with after the fire—the one that she wore to bed most nights.

The following week a plain brown box arrived with
FRAGILE
stamped all over the outside. AJ opened it to find dozens of peanut butter kisses cookies. The note read:

Ky helped make these. Not as good as your sweet kisses, baby doll.

Think of me while you’re eating these and studying…

Love—CWM.

Oh man. The man was trying. Really trying.

The next week she received a box with the silver boots she’d forgotten in his front closet—along with a new ballcap that that read:

You Gonna Cowgirl Up and Ride? Or Lay There and Bleed?

No note. She wondered if the hat was a challenge.

Only two days passed before his next gift arrived. A VHS tape of her horse running alongside Nickel and Jester and Ky’s pony, Plug, in the frost-covered field behind Cord’s barn. Then a close up of Lucy from the star on her nose to the tip of her long chestnut tail, the gorgeous autumn sunset as the backdrop, with Cord’s husky voice in the background. “She looks happy here, huh? Ky and I are takin’ good care of her until you come back. I think Jester’s got a thing for that stubborn mare. I know the feelin’. Quit bein’ stubborn and call me, baby doll. I miss you something fierce.” The screen went blank.

AJ could scarcely see it through her tears as she popped the tape out of the VCR. Her hand shook when she dialed Cord’s home phone number.

Cord answered on the first ring. “AJ? Is that really you?”

She sniffled and nodded.

“You okay?”

I am now
. “Ah. Yeah. Thanks for the video.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And the tickets. The concert was awesome even if Keely got a little out of hand.”

He chuckled. “Don’t need the details on that one.”

“Thanks for the flowers, too. They were so…” She started to cry.

“Hey, now. No tears. I’ve been waiting to hear from you for two and a half damn months and it’ll bust my heart even more if you’re sobbing on the line the whole time. I can’t take it.”

“Okay.”

Pause. He sighed. “Please, tell me everything you’ve been doin’. Don’t leave nothin’ out.”

So AJ talked, half-afraid the conversation would be hopelessly one-sided, but Cord seemed eager to chat. An hour passed. Reluctantly, AJ said, “I have homework to finish.”

“Can I call you? Same time tomorrow?”

“I’d like that.”

He cleared his throat. “I have something to say. I wish I could say it to your sweet face, but I ain’t about to let the opportunity pass me by again. When you asked me if I loved you, I should’ve manned up. I didn’t. I was a chickenshit, plain and simple. The truth is, I do love you, AJ. More’n you can possibly imagine.”