Rough Riders Bundle 1(books 1, 2, 3) (68 page)

Cash Big Crow
was leaning on the fence when Carter’s truck screeched to a stop.

He jumped from the cab. Four angry steps later he loomed over Macie’s father. “Where is she?”

“Haven’t we been through this once before, McKay?”

“Where is she?”

“If she wanted you to know, you would.”

“You sent her away, didn’t you?”

Cash faced him. “Don’t you come here, accusing me of something, when
you
are the one who chased her away.”

Carter took a threatening step closer. “I did not.”

“What did you do to her?”

“Nothing! It was a stupid misunderstanding.”

“Explain it to me then.”

“It’s not my fault
she
freaked out about—”

“About what?”

He paused and said nastily, “If she wanted you to know, you would.”

“Don’t you pull that smartass shit on me, son. I ain’t in the mood. You came to me so you’d better start talking.”

“Fine. Macie saw a couple of the pictures I painted of her. She didn’t like them, and then she forbid me from displaying them at the showing. I told her tough, they were goin’ up. It pissed her off and she stormed out. I haven’t seen her since and I need to talk to her.”

Cash glared at him. “It more than pissed her off. According to Gemma, Macie left here in tears.”

Left?
“Where’d she go?”

“Tell me ’bout these pictures that upset her so badly.” Comprehension dawned on Cash’s face. His eyes filled with rage. “Only one kind of pictures that’d make her cry.”

Carter didn’t look away.

“You painted nudie shots of her?”

“
Nudie
? The correct term is nude.”

“Did she consent to that?”

“She posed for me voluntarily.”

“But she didn’t volunteer to pose for you naked, did she? That’s why she’s so goddamn upset.”

“I don’t see the big deal—”

Carter didn’t see the punch Cash aimed at his jaw until it landed. He staggered back. Rather than taking a swing, Carter rushed Cash and they hit the dirt in a tangle of flying fists.

Cash kneed him in the stomach. Carter rolled and his elbow connected with the side of Cash’s head. Cash flipped over and ground Carter’s face into the gravel. Carter reared up and head butted Cash in the jaw. That knocked Cash back and Carter followed up with a hard right jab to Cash’s ribs. Cash kicked Carter’s knee, knocking him flat before Cash pulled back and punched Carter square in the eye.

Grunts, sweat, dirt, blood fueled their rage. Neither one backed down. Seemed like the fight lasted an hour, but it’d probably only been a minute when Gemma’s voice boomed, “Break it up! Both of you!”

Cash took advantage of Carter’s distraction and threw a right cross that clacked Carter’s teeth together. Blood burst from his lip. Enraged, Carter swung high, his fist grazing Cash’s eyebrow.

Then they were both sputtering and soaking wet.

Gemma aimed the hose at them until they moved apart. Still coughing, spitting, bleeding, trying to find a way to get another lick in.

“I said knock it off! Jesus. What is wrong with you two?”

Cash glared through the blood dripping in his eye. Carter dabbed at his bloody mouth and swollen lip.

“Carter, why are you here?”

He didn’t answer.

“Let me guess. Macie.”

He grunted.

“Haven’t you done enough damage to her without pounding on her father too?”

“He took the first swing.”

“And I’ll take the last one, you—”

“Cash. Enough.”

Silence.

Gemma sighed. “Carter. I think it’s time you pack up your stuff and get back home.”

Even through the throbbing in his ear, Carter knew she didn’t mean home to the trailer. Why did the thought of leaving the Bar 9 make his head hurt worse and make it harder to breathe? “You won’t let me explain, will you?”

“I don’t need to hear your excuses. You took advantage of Macie and I won’t stand for it.”

“It’s not what you think. I love her.”

“You’ve got a piss-poor way of showing it.”

“You know, this is bullshit.” Carter staggered to his feet. “None of you have even
seen
the damn pictures. They are a tribute to her. And you’re—” he pointed at Cash.

“—acting just as immature about this as she did. Yes, they are nudes. So what? Macie didn’t get her way with me by forcing my hand, so she ran away, like I suspect she always does. You’re frustrated that she left you too, so you’re taking it out on me. I did nothing wrong but create beautiful art of the beautiful woman I love for the world to see.”

Gemma helped Cash stand. She swiped the blood from his face and murmured in his ear.

Cash looked at Carter. “You’re right, you aren’t anything like your brothers. The McKays I know have honor.” He limped up the porch steps.

Talk about a sucker punch.

“Cash shouldn’t have taken a swing at you. But you shouldn’t have expected any less from him either.”

He waited.

“Macie asked me to keep the truth from him on what you’d done to make her leave.”

“Is she coming back?”

Gemma stared at him. “What do you care? You got what you wanted.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Why are you doin’ this?”

“What’s the big deal? They’re just pictures.”

“Then put them in your bedroom. Or in your studio. Not on a public wall in an art gallery.”

“But they’re good pictures.”

“I imagine they are. What you can’t see, Carter, is that this isn’t only about Macie being naked. Maybe we are hicks, and we don’t understand your art, but we do understand that you do
not
exploit the person you love. Ever. You protect them. You go out of your
way
to shelter them, not to expose them.”

“I love her.”

“That’s not love. You took everything she freely gave you and used it against her to make yourself look good. And then had the balls to make her feel small for questioning
your
right to do it.”

“But see—”

“I see by the stubborn set to your jaw that you’re digging in your heels and won’t listen to reason. And you think we’re acting childish? Macie is hurting, Cash is hurting, hell, I’m hurting. You’re hurting everyone around you and the only one who thinks what you are doin’ is right, is you.

“Don’t bother to clean up the trailer before you leave. I’m giving you two days to clear out.”

Gemma turned on her heel and hustled in the house.

Carter stared at the slamming door, staggered by their accusations before he limped to his truck. Had he just lost everything he never thought he’d find? To hell with Macie and her father, and Gemma too. Everyone in the whole fucking world could go straight to hell. No one understood him. No one ever had and it was apparent no one ever would.

He snagged the bottle of whiskey from the passenger seat and chugged a mouthful of liquid fire. Maybe he’d discover the answers to his questions in the bottom of a bottle.

‡

F
our days later
Carter was still half-drunk from his four-day bender.

He was sprawled on the floor in the barn contemplating studying the back of his eyelids when the door opened and a splinter of light gouged his retinas.

“Jesus, it stinks in here.”

“Yeah, like your barn don’t stink, Cord.”

“I’m just sayin’…”

Bootsteps shuffled, kicking up dirt and hay dust.

“Christ.
He’s
what stinks.”

“Think he’s dead?”

“Roll him over.”

“I ain’t touching him.”

“Colt, you are such a pussy.”

Carter grunted. “I’m not dead.” He managed to roll on his back. He opened his eyes and squinted. The McKay Posse—Colby, Colt and Cord glared down at him.

“What the fuck are you guys doin’ here?”

“Thinking about killing you now that we know you ain’t worm food,” Colby snapped off.

No mistaking it. His brothers were livid.

“Ma wouldn’t let you.” In the tense air Carter’s voice sounded rusty as old nails.

“Don’t bet on it. She was worried sick. No one could reach you on your cell. Your agent called their house. Then your buddy Jack called. The last straw was when Gemma called mad as hell because you were supposed to have cleared out. Instead, she found you passed out in the barn. Ma was halfway down the driveway with the shotgun before Dad stopped her.”

“Shit.”

Colt hunkered down. “You’re lucky Keely distracted Dad while we were leaving this morning and he ain’t here. Jesus. What’s wrong with your face?”

“Got into a fight.”

“Yeah, we sort of figured that,” Cord said. “Why is Gemma throwing you off the Bar 9?”

Carter slowly sat up. “Because Cash Big Crow looks about as bad as I do.”

“You took after Cash? I thought you had more brains than that, college boy.”

“He took the first swing but I probably deserved it. Probably deserved way more.”

“Cord, grab his other arm,” Colby said.

The two of them hauled Carter upright. Pain slammed into his head. Sorrow into his soul. How had he fallen so far so fast? This time last week he’d been on top of the world. Now everyone knew he’d crashed and burned.

“I’m fine. You guys can go now. I’m sure you’ve got more important shit to do than babysit me for Mom.”

Talk about sounding like a whiny prick. Carter shook off his brothers’ hands and their help.

“Mom ain’t the only reason we’re here,” Cord scoffed.

“Yeah. You might be a total shithead, but you’re still a McKay. And you know we take care of our own, bro, no matter what,” Colby said.

Carter bit back the urge to bawl. His brothers were pissed off and sporting the gruff attitude they’d inherited from their father, but they were still here. If he’d been wrong about them, what else had he been wrong about?

Everything.

Still, if they saw one grateful tear sliding down his bruised cheek, they’d cheerfully punch him in the face and give him something to really cry about.

He sighed.

“Jesus. Don’t breathe on me,” Colt complained. “You reek, Carter. How long’s it been since you showered or changed your clothes?”

Carter tipped his chin down and looked. Huh. He still had on the same bloodied shirt and dirty jeans he’d worn when Cash handed him his ass. And he’d worn it on for a couple of days before that when Macie walked out on him. “Probably a week.”

“Man, that’s just nasty.” Colt walked to the other side of the barn.

“You been sitting in here for four days moping over her?”

“I’ve been busy working.”

“Working on two bottles of Jim Beam it looks like,” Cord said.

“Don’t you judge me, asshole. If you knew the hell I’ve been through—”

Cord’s cruel laugh cut him off. “You don’t wanna get into a pissing match with me on that one, boy.”

“I’m not a boy.”

“Then stop acting like one and be a man.”

“Fuck off, Cord. You think you’re the only one in the family who’s been kicked in the goddamn balls by love?”

“Come talk to me about love after it castrates you.”

“Enough.” Colby shoved his hat back and scratched his forehead. “We’re taking you home. What of this artsy fartsy stuff are we hauling back to the ranch?”

“I’m not leaving here. This is where I live now.”

Colt’s bootsteps stopped.

“The hell you are,” Colby retorted. “Gemma’s throwing you out.”

“And you’re helping her?”

“You need some distance and perspective.”

“No. I need her.”

“Holy shit.” Colt whistled. “Who is she? Look at those tits. Them babies are definitely real. Man, I could suck on those nipples for hours. How come you’re not doin’ more raunchy pictures like—”

Carter stalked to where Colt stood, grabbed him by the shirtfront and shoved him hard. “Don’t you talk about her like that. Don’t you fucking
look
at her like that or I will rip your fucking head off.”

Colt shoved back. “If you didn’t want no one looking at it, why’d you paint it? You shouldn’t have left it right there for everyone to see. What’s the big deal?”

What’s the big deal?

Hadn’t he posed that same question to Macie? And Cash? And Gemma?

The big deal was he didn’t want
anyone
else looking at these pictures of Macie.

Ever.

The truth slammed into him like a Wyoming coal train.

Jesus Christ. How had he ever thought he could stand by and let other men ogle naked pictures of the woman he loved?

Then why
had
he painted them?

Because he could. Because he was cocky. Because he wanted everyone to know he—Carter, the quiet, laid-back, invisible McKay—was worthy of that kind of intense love from a woman like Macie.

It sickened him to think he’d been so focused on showing the world and his family how special his art was, that he’d lost sight of how special
Macie
was. How special what they had together was.

Carter’s gaze connected with the picture. This was
his
Macie. How he saw her. It didn’t matter that she was naked in body; she was naked in spirit too. She didn’t show those sides of herself to everyone. Just to him. And he didn’t want—he had no right—to share it. He didn’t need to immortalize what she was on canvas when he could have the flesh and blood version looking back at him just like that every damn day.