ROUGHNECK: A DARK MOTORCYCLE CLUB ROMANCE (58 page)

I
slept
the best I’d ever slept when I woke up that afternoon, curled up in Trent’s arms. He was knocked out solid, quietly snoring away, and I watched this beautiful, strange rocker murmur and shift in his sleep.

This had been fast, but it had felt
real
.

I didn’t quite understand it, and I could tell that he didn’t, either. Not really, at any rate. He seemed the impulsive type, and he’d completely thrown me off-guard by almost backing down from the sex last night… and by inviting me into his world like this.

I’d heard his bandmates. They’d sounded
pissed
.

But he’d stood his ground, the alpha male that he was. It was clear what he wanted, and that he’d make concessions with them to have it. He could probably have told them all to go to hell, but I’d seen that he did care about them – especially onstage.

Do they fight a lot when they’re not performing?

Is that what it’s like to work with people like this?

Eventually, he woke up too. Once we’d climbed out of bed and freshened up a little, Trent laid down the single ground rule:
stay back here
. He made it clear that other members of the band had expressed some discomfort in having me around, and that he’d had to agree that I’d stay in his bedroom or in the adjacent bathroom.

I’d been too tired to really think much of being a complication, particularly in the madcap dash to get back to the bus and finally rest. It wasn’t hard to figure out the math once I dwelled on the details.

After all, I was on a bus with a bunch of guys who probably didn’t appreciate someone being thrust upon them at the last second – especially not a girl, regardless of the fact that I was apparently fucking their leader.

It was fine by me. I liked his room – it was kind of sparse, and not terribly big, but that seemed like the kind of thing Trent would favor. It was a little larger than my small backroom at the Riverton Bar, but it was free of the odds and ends that cluttered and dominated the space.

“I don’t need much,” he told me at some point after we’d woken up. “Not on the road, at any rate. My place is a little different…but I like to keep my distractions minimal when I’m on tour.”

“But what about me?” I chuckled coyly.

“I make exceptions,” he whispered, his fingers threading into my hair and exposing my neck for his hungry lips. “Exceptions for cute girls who know how to ride my cock the right way.”

Oh good,
I thought to myself.
So the arrogant asshole thing’s going to stick around for a while.

Oddly, I kind of liked it.

But we couldn’t play for too long.

Trent and his band had another gig.

The single, curtained window in his room didn’t tell me much, and my host kept me plenty preoccupied for a short while. But as he left to practice with them before the show, he told me where we were.

“Houston.”

“We’re in
Texas?
We just sailed through Louisiana and I didn’t even know?”

“Yeah, guess so.”

“But Houston is so far…”

“And now you understand why I was speeding,” he told me a little gruffly. “Steven might be a total asshole of a manager, but he’s generally competent.
Generally
.”

Before he left, I reminded him to take his pain medication. With an appreciative smile, he dug the orange bottle out from a hidden spot in his closet, and then popped into the bathroom to swallow it with a cup of water.

After he left, I stayed put. I flipped through some books of his, realizing that I should have tried to find something to keep myself preoccupied. But it wasn’t like I actually
had
anything like that back home, anyway.

I’d mostly spent my time tending to the needs of the bar, occasionally walking further into town and occupying myself at the single, small bookstore that we had.

At least there are different books here.

A few hours later, after the night had fallen, Trent finally returned to the bus. He planted a quick kiss on my lips before going to wash off in the shower. When he came back into the room, I was preoccupied with thought.

I knew that I had to tell him.

“There’s something you need to know about me,” I reluctantly blurted out.

Briefly, just for a fraction of a second, a look of penetrated concern flickered across Trent’s face. With the blink of his eyes, it was gone, replaced with his cool, smooth confidence.

“What’s that? You’re not really from Alabama? Secretly a government agent? Betrothed to another man?”

I shook my head, trying to not take personal offense to that last one. I knew he didn’t mean it. He had just sensed that this was bad.

“You know how I freaked out in the car earlier this morning?”

Trent looked genuinely troubled for a moment.

“Yeah. There’s a specific reason for that?”

“There was an accident,” I told him.

“An
accident
.”

“I was in the car with some people – I don’t really remember who. Just a group of us. The driver, he was going too fast, taking too many risks…we hit something and I was thrown from the vehicle.”

“Oh my God,” he spoke, his face growing pale. He covered his eyes, looking incredibly guilty. “I had no fucking idea. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t know,” I told him.

“But were you…were you
hurt?
”

“Well, it
was
a high-speed collision, and I
was
ejected from the car,” I snarked lightly, before toning myself back. “I mean…yeah. I was hurt pretty badly.”

“What…how did you…?”

“How did I survive?” I asked, almost bitterly. “I don’t know. I was thrown into some trees. Luckily, I wasn’t too mangled up. But I was in a coma for, like, weeks.”

“And your friends?”

“They didn’t make it,” I told him, fighting back tears. “I think the driver did, but the rest of the people in the car, they all died on impact. Getting thrown out saved my life.”

“And your memory?”

“Yeah,” I continued, struggling to recall the details. “It’s kind of fuzzy. I lost a lot of my memories from that point and back. The doctors told me that they don’t know how I woke back up. But the damage was done. I barely remember a thing from before the accident. Hell, the accident
itself
is totally gone. I only know what happened because I was
told
.”

I realized that Trent was squeezing my hand, staring deeply into my eyes.

“So, what
do
you remember?”

It wasn’t an easy question to answer.

“It’s kind of like…you know how you dream sometimes, and occasionally you remember it when you wake up, but sometimes you don’t? If you’re lucky, you’ll remember it in the shower, or maybe something during the day will remind you…and maybe it takes months for it to click?”

Trent nodded thoughtfully.

“Right. So, I remember bits and pieces – like, I know who my parents are. I can remember little… flickers of things. Like, mental pictures. The way the sunlight bounced off of my hand, running through the cattails in a pasture. I remember a man – I think he was my grandfather – carrying me on his shoulders when I was really young, spinning me around in the rain.”

He squeezed my hand gently.

“But…most of it is gone. All I have are these tiny, fleeting moments. They’re small, and maybe insignificant, but they’re all that I have left,” I told him.

It was only as he brushed his knuckles against my cheek that I realized I had been crying. Trent looked pained as he listened, wiping my tears aside.

“Everything from before me being sixteen and younger is like a dream. I can’t remember much at once. It only comes in small flashes, and then they’re lost unless I really focus on them…and I can barely remember they were ever there from the start.”

“Have you been checked out?” Trent asked. “Have you gone to see someone about this?”

“Not since the start. The follow-up treatments were so expensive. Just the hospital visit from my coma alone was terrible. It basically bankrupted my parents, not that they had much to begin with.”

“And where
are
your parents?”

“Back in Alabama,” I told him. “Not Riverton, though. Further back… deeper into the state. Interstate doesn’t go anywhere near it.”

“You haven’t really mentioned them before,” Trent observed. “Is there a reason why?”

Involuntarily, I thought back to my other secret… the secret I wanted to take to my grave. His hand squeezing mine felt so distant all of a sudden, and things were growing darker and darker…

There was a voice, a husky chuckle.

It shook me down to my core.

With a deep, calming breath, I summoned up my strength and fought my way back to him from that crushing darkness. The whole thing couldn’t have taken more than a second or two but, to me, it felt as if I’d drifted back to that lightless abyss for hours… possibly days.

“There aren’t really many pleasant memories,” I quietly conceded to him.

“I see,” he answered with a suspicious but supportive nod. “I’m not going to push you on that. I just…I can’t imagine what it’s gotta be like.”

“What do you mean?” I asked sincerely.

“I mean, I remember
mostly
what it was like, growing up,” he told me. “But to have most of my life completely gone? I can’t think of how hard that’s gotta be.”

“It’s not as difficult as you might think,” I shrugged. “It just took some getting used to. Luckily, I had help. Like with Old Greg. He didn’t have to take me in like that, but he was a total lifesaver. I don’t know how I would have coped on the streets.”

“How did you wind up in Riverton?” He asked, tilting his head.

“I was just hitchhiking…I think Old Greg was the one to find me. It’s hard to be certain.”

“Old Greg?”

“Yeah…”

I pressed harder in my head, focusing on the memory. My nose got that slight smell of copper that told me I was on the verge of remembering.

“That’s right…” I smiled. “It’s kind of in pieces…but yeah, Old Greg picked me up on the side of the highway and he brought me back to his bar. It must have been late at night…the place was closed when we got there. I don’t remember much else.”

“You weren’t scared?”

“No, that’s the funny thing,” I recalled. “I trusted him. Without even questioning him, really. Something about that old guy just told me that he wasn’t trouble. Maybe I saw something good and pure in his eyes.”

“Do you think you knew him before?” Trent asked, wondering about the connection.

“Nah. I wasn’t anywhere near home when he found me… He was just some lonely old codger who took pity on some stupid wayward kid in the middle of the night.”

Trent didn’t seem too convinced, but he didn’t try to pry.

“Anyway, my head’s starting to hurt…I think this little trip down
Memory Lane
is kind of taxing me. How about we talk about something else?”

Concern flickered across his face, but he swiftly brushed it aside. I appreciated that – that he cared, and that he cared enough to not try and force me to open up.

“Of course,” Trent smiled, pulling me into his embrace. “We’ve got the whole night ahead of us.”

My hand brushed against the bulge of his cock, and I grinned wickedly up at him.

“I can think of a few things to fill the time…”

“Oh yeah?” He chuckled.

“That’s right,” I whispered, unzipping him. I could already sense heat emanating from the growing bulge, and I lowered my face as I withdrew his thick, mighty weapon…

W
e settled
into a fun routine over the following few weeks as our band tour finally wound down.

Working on material while Angel slept.

Chatting, eating together during downtime.

Practicing with the band.

Rocking out onstage.

Briefly appearing at the after-parties.

Finally, taking Angel in my bed.

It was the perfect routine. Out on the road, doing what I love, and coming back to the bus with the girl I had slowly turned into my own, private sex fiend.

She might have been a virgin, but she was making up for lost time. Angel loved fucking everywhere she could, burning through my extensive repertoire of sex positions, and just flat out reveling in our contact together.

Which didn’t bother me one bit.

Besides being physically a challenge in the bedroom, she still contested me mentally. She was always trying to pry into my head and figure me out.

For someone who had been stuck in the sticks for as long as she had, Angel had ideas – big ideas...

To my total surprise, she was fun to brainstorm with. I’d sit in the room and write poetry – pretty much the closest you can get to a song when you lack the instrumentals – and I let her read some of it sometimes.

Angel made solid suggestions, and helped me tighten up some of the lyrics. I’d sing a few parts, here and there, and she’d recommend different tones or help guide me a little in the delivery. The girl was a natural.

Sometimes we listened to recorded jam sessions together when a song was coming along. I played a few studio session snippets, singing some of my lyrics over them.

And the feedback she gave?

Golden.

It was fresh… Almost naive. A new take on the sound.

Where did this fucking girl come from?

Of course, I knew that. I’d plucked her out of that place, thinking she was a challenging, hot piece of ass that I couldn’t bear to part with.

Turns out I’d found myself a diamond in the rough. Angel was proving herself incredibly useful in ways I hadn’t even remotely considered.

She held up to her end of things. She was like a ghost to the rest of the band, but I knew she was getting bored. Restless.

That’s how I noticed her penchant for drumming her fingers. I didn’t think much of it at first, but the more that she did it, I realized that she was pretty good at keeping rhythm.

“Do that again,” I asked her one day.

“Hmm?”

“With your fingers.”

“You mean, this?”

She rattled out a slight beat.

“Yeah. Do that again. Faster.”

She did so.

“Do it four times in a row.”

Angel looked at me oddly, but complied.

“You can hold rhythm,” I observed. “And you’re pretty talented at it, from what I can tell…”

“Is that good?”

“It means you might make a decent drummer someday,” I chuckled. “If Dylan ever drops dead on us, that could be useful.”

We were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Yo, we’re refueling for the road,” Terence called out. “You need anything?”

“Come on in,” I called out.

Terence quietly let himself into the room, smiling politely to my girl. “Hiya, Angel. You enjoying yourself?”

“When someone’s here, yeah,” she smiled.

Of course, out of everyone around us who would be even remotely civil about Angel being around, it’s my bassist.
I didn’t overlook that fact as I motioned him over.

“Hey man, take a look at this…”

After introducing Terence to her surprisingly rhythmic skills, we took turns giving her instructions for drumming her fingers. I thought better and drug up a pair of pens, and had her rattle out some cadences against a few surfaces.

“Yeah…” Terence nodded thoughtfully. “Your girl’s good. She’ll need training to take it any further than pens on your countertop, but this is actually pretty rad.”

“Yeah,” I thought aloud. “I definitely agree.”

Since we needed to get going, we left her to her devices for the time being. Taking advantage of the pit stop for refueling and supplies before getting back on the road, I took the opportunity to refill the mini-fridge in my room.

I also decided to treat her to a tablet.

She almost didn’t accept it, until I reminded her how much time she’d be alone while I was working with the band on and off the stage. It was a bit of an impulse buy, but I had the cash to blow, and I wanted her happy while I was gone.

Besides. Chances were, she would stop putting out if I didn’t try to make an effort, anyway.

“Well… okay,” She whispered to me after unboxing the device. “But seriously, you didn’t have to do this. I’ve got books and everything, I could probably keep myself fulfilled anyway…”

Angel thanked me later that night with a ton of fantastic sex; it culminated in the most incredible blowjob I’d ever felt.

After that gesture, I felt better about dragging her along and leaving her trapped in my small bus suite. Most of our stops had decent wifi, and with some movies and books on the tablet, she’d have something to occupy herself.

We were on the tail end of our tour.
RipFest
was just a last-minute addition that sold tickets – lining our earnings during what would have been a brief lull, while taking an already great lineup and making it better.

But that meant that we were tired.

Tired and volatile.

I know that I should have spent a little more time with them, instead of cooped up in the back of the bus with my little Angel, but I hadn’t anticipated that the rest of the band was growing resentful.

“Look who’s here!” Waylon sneered at me when I walked into the practice session one afternoon.

“Sorry I’m late,” I replied. “Lost track of time.”

“I’ll bet. Guess you’re finally done fucking your little honey for a few minutes, eh?”

I ignored his remark, knowing that he was just trying to goad me on. I would find a way to stick it to him later, maybe after the tour…but there was no point in fueling him before another big show.

“Let’s just get to it,” I grunted.

Terence the bassist glanced up at me with a slight nod of his head. No matter what, he was always the agreeable, reasonable one.

We practiced for a while, but I wasn’t really feeling it. The rest of the musicians seemed to pick up on it, but I forced myself to go through the motions.

Angel
was
a distraction.

But not the kind they probably thought.

It had taken her presence for me to realize how grueling and miserable the tour had been. Part of me felt bad that the others didn’t have this – that they had to watch me experience this bliss without finding their own way to attain what I suddenly, irreversibly had.

The stress relief helped, that’s for sure.

But she complemented me.

The more I talked to her, the sharper I realized she was…and the more vulnerable. It was this pervasive feeling hidden just out of view. I knew that her forgotten past bothered her, although she tried to keep it out of the way. I also knew that she did her best to leave it well out of sight, but the unanswered questions burned in my bind. Why had she run away from home? How much of her past was lost to the accident, and how much had she
chosen
to forget…

Didn’t take long to realize she was just as stressed as me…And just as grateful for the endless carnal distractions.

The rest of the band wouldn’t understand.

That was fine by me.

I remembered thinking about the filth that I was drenched in…and how the darkness swallowed me whole, tainting me in its depths.

But when I was with her…

I felt a little lighter.

I didn’t directly understand this intoxicating whirlwind of tension just beneath my skin… not until she brightened her light on me.

I was tired.

I was ready to go home.

I was
done
.

And I couldn’t wait to take her with me.