Roxanne Desired

Roxanne Desired

Copyright © Gena D. Lutz

All Rights Reserved

Published by Gena D. Lutz

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. All characters appearing in these stories are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Names and incidents are products of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual events, organizations or persons is entirely coincidence. 

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without expressed written permission from the author. 

Cover Design by:

Nina Cord, For the Love of Reading COVER Design

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Layout by:

Rachel A Olson, The One Stop Book Making Shop

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Thank you Rachel Sockwell and Heather Castro for going on another book ride with me. You’re suggestions and support was invaluable.

I wanted to give a special thank you to Christina Smith. No matter how many times I rewrote a chapter or scene you read every single word of it without complaint. Every day and a thousand messages later, you traveled through this book with me as I wrote it. I can’t thank you enough for your patience and love. I heart my T.

I would also like to thank Hailey, Brandee, Mason, Rebekka, Jasmine, and Avery. It’s never easy putting up with me but you did and you still do. I love you all very much.

As before, I dedicate this book to a man that not only deserves the credit for being my inspiration, but for also being crazy and brave enough to be the great love of my life. There’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t thank God for bringing us together. Thank you for loving me better, kinder, and with more compassion than anyone ever has or ever could. I love you, Joseph.

I
am a werewolf
. Those complicated words drove me mad as they habitually looped like a broken record through my head. I’d been driving down this long, desolate, freeway for two days now. Two long days chock-full of self-reflection. It also happened to be that long since I'd left Nathan and our pack back in Astoria, Oregon. Well, more like skittered away from them like a terrified bunny who stumbled upon a wolf’s den. Regardless of the passage of time, my mind couldn’t stop wandering back to my new bond mate…
Nathan
. Just the thought of his chestnut brown eyes and the cocky grin he perpetually wore made my heart ache. I missed him.

I reached over and began flipping through random radio stations, hoping that a catchy tune might take my thoughts from his thickly muscled arms or the way his chest bulged a bumpy outline through his t-shirts. I shook my head.
I
can
get you off my mind
. That’s what I kept trying to convince myself anyway. My restless fingers jammed the buttons over and over again, but I couldn't settle on a song. The notes only translated to static so I shut the damn thing off. The car’s headlights illuminated the road before me, highlighting my wide beacon of solitude as I passed one mile marker after another. I had only a few hundred more of those little green signs to pass before I'd find myself back in my hometown of Downy, New Mexico. It was the same town that, not so long ago, I was all too eager to escape from. Old memories of my mother overlapped the ones of Nathan for a moment. I could see, perfectly in my mind’s eye, the way she would keep me seated at the table for hours, sometimes overnight, until I learned the proper use of eating utensils or the suitable way to sip my soup. I could also feel the phantom sting of her hand across my young cheek if I accidentally chose the wrong one, or accidentally spilled a drop. It had eventually escalated to the point to where I would purposefully mess up during her many teachings just so I could feel like I had a semblance of control in regard to my own life. And now I was running back to her. I shook my head at the irony of it all.

A blinding light pulled me back to the present. The sudden illumination had reflected off the car’s rearview mirror, piercing me straight in the eyes. I reached up and rubbed out the white stars flashing in my vision, and took a look in the mirror. There was a set of headlights moving up on me, getting bigger and brighter by the second. The progression moved way too fast for a vehicle that was doing the speed limit. I veered into the right hand lane, giving the speed demon plenty of room to pass me, but the driver of the truck had other ideas. Before I could react, my forehead slammed into the steering wheel as the barreling mass of metal rammed into my bumper. The sudden trauma made my silent passenger begin to stir inside of me. A silent growl erupted through my clenched teeth, warning any potential threats to back off.

"No. Not again." I breathed out deeply.

I wrenched the wheel back and forth, somehow gaining back control of my vehicle and at the same time, I battled for control over my own body.

"I'm not going to shift, damn it." I growled through a set of throbbing teeth.

Not only did my wolf want to come out and play, but so did my vampire side. I had successfully kept myself in human form since the night Ember changed me, only shifting once when my body went through its first transition. That was also the same night I saved Nathan from being murdered by the Gatherers. It was also the night our wolves took it upon themselves to bond with each other. I looked down at the red vine that wrapped around my wrist and forearm. It was a permanent reminder that I was no longer human, but an immortal werewolf. Becoming wolf was not the choice I would have made for myself. In fact, it wasn’t a choice I had the option to make at all. Sometimes I wondered if I would have rather died the night Ember saved me, changing me into a Hybrid miniature of herself. But it wasn’t very hard to conclude that my current way of thinking stemmed from my serious control issues.

There was that damn phantom sting again.

Tires squealed from behind, jogging me from my thoughts. The truck was closing in on my Prius, and I had serious doubts that I could keep the compact car on the road if it rear ended me again, so I made a quick decision to pull over. It was time to face this monster head on; both of them.

I jumped out of the idling car leaving the door ajar and my purse on the passenger seat. I sprinted around the rear of the car, rounding the other side and then, I crouched low. It looked like I would be facing my harasser head on
after
I hid like a chicken shit. I watched the red pickup truck that had been attacking me zip right by my parked car. I could see the silhouette of a chubby long nosed man inside of it. He was wearing a baseball cap turned backwards. I recognized him immediately. It was David, my stalker. I had a restraining order served to him over a year ago. The little piece of paper did little to deter him from calling me or trailing me like snail slime. Anytime I was in a public place, like the bank or grocery store, I always seemed to run into him. The only time I had any relief from his constant harassment was the few days I spent with the pack on Ash Island. I thought back to the night when Nathan asked me to have coffee with him after my shift at the café. I wanted to tell him yes so bad, but I knew David would find a way to ruin it. He liked to punish me if I paid special attention to any man. My last punishment was coming home to find my front window smashed in. The brick he used in the vandalism had 'Slut' painted in red across it. The damn window cost me three hundred dollars to replace. That asshole.

My body started to vibrate and I watched my nails lengthen against the car’s smashed in bumper. This time, I didn't try to stop the change, just slow it down to a partial shift. I might have my reservations about what I'd become but I wasn't a fool. My wolf would be able to protect me from my stalker better than I ever could. Gaining control over my wolf was getting easier and I stopped her from fully emerging without incident. My insides tingled a little bit, but other than that, everything was good. I concentrated with my newly acquired supernatural hearing on the truck and listened as David lifted his boot off the gas and applied it to the brakes. There was a slight screeching sound as the truck slowed and then turned around. I quickly refocused my attention away from the sound. The fact that I now knew that he needed new brake pads wasn't going to help the situation. I tried again; this time I focused on his breathing. It was slow and calm even after his recent demolition derby attack on me. That fact gave me chills. This guy was obviously a psychopath. I peeked over the edge of the trunk. Luckily, I was able to get a clear view through the back window of him. He had pulled the truck over several yards in front of my recently abandoned car. The truck door creaked open and he stepped out onto the gravel. His heavy boots crunched through the dirt and rocks as he headed straight for me. I thought about running into the dark woods that bordered the highway, but hesitated instead. I glanced at David. He had already cleared half the distance between us. He walked with a casual gait, as if he was merely out for an afternoon stroll in the park. The cockiness he was exuding angered me. It was like he believed he was entitled to harass and make the last couple years of my life a living hell.

My fangs dropped. I stood up from my crouch and proceeded to walk out from behind the car. With my eyes closed, I willed my claws back in. But I kept my fangs out and hidden behind a closed mouth. Standing only a few feet away, David looked at me with a quizzical expression. He narrowed his gaze and said,

“Where have you been? I have wasted days searching for you.” He leaned up against my car, crossing one foot over the other as he chuckled. “Lucky for me, I spotted you in this poor excuse of a car as you drove by the liquor store on your way out of town. To think, you might have disappeared for good if I hadn’t decided to stop and buy a six pack of beer before I went home.”

My first reaction was to take a step back from him. So I did. A smile spread across his pocked face. David turned and gazed up and down the road, then after he was satisfied that we were indeed alone, his creepy eyes landed back on me. “It would be silly to try and run. As you can see, there’s nowhere to go. Besides, I will just follow you. I will always find you, Roxanne.”

His patronizing voice was enough to make me want to scream. My fangs began to pulse inside my mouth, but still, I said and did nothing. David pointed at me, wagging a short and stubby finger.

“You’re a wretched girl. You know I don’t like it when you misbehave.”

He reached behind his back and pulled out a knife. The moonlight caught the steel of the long blade, and it bounced off of it with a chilling glimmer. He watched my face closely. I knew what he was waiting for. What his sick and twisted mind yearned for. However, I wasn’t about to give it to him. I kept my expression neutral, showing no signs of fear. Something about the confusion that shot through his eyes at my refusal to suitably cower before him broke through to the beaten down woman inside of me. She stood up and boldly stared her tormentor in the eyes. This time it was David who flinched. I parted my lips slowly and revealed my pointy canines.

“Oh, I never planned on running. Now…you on the other hand? You might want to consider it.”

His face went pale and his body shot ram-rod straight, up from where he was leaning on the hood. The knife shook in his trembling hand as he held it out in front of him; it was a false sense of protection. How quickly our roles had changed. The hunter had unwittingly become the hunted. I should have felt bad for reducing this pathetic man in front of me into a quivering mess. But I didn’t. I would like to say that I wasn’t delighted to serve him a bit of the same misery he so easily piled upon me. But I was.

“What the fuck are you?” He screeched out.

I took a few steps toward him. He scrambled back, almost tripping over himself in the process. His baseball cap went tumbling to the ground. I caught the sound of his blood coursing hypnotically through his veins. My gut clenched at the delicious sound. His increased heartbeat began to thrum through me. My fangs pulsed in time with it.

“You stay the hell away from me!” He yelled, backing up even more.

I stopped and smiled big enough to show off the sharp points of my fangs. “I thought this was what you wanted. I am right here. We’re all alone. Come and get me.”

He tossed the knife aside and threw his hands up in front of him, palms facing me. He turned his head submissively away as he surveyed me from the corner of his eyes.

“Look. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I promise to never bug you again. Just please, let me go.”

My eyebrow rose but I didn't say anything. My body stayed still while I watched the man who had tormented me for almost two years as he cowered before me. Did I have it in me to kill this guy while the whole time he begged for his life was I that callous? David had not only filled my days and nights with crippling paranoia which had a subsequent effect of almost turning me into a recluse. So didn’t I have the right to assure my own safety? These thoughts and questions flew at me at once. The blood thirsty monster that I shared my body with didn't give a shit about showing any kindness or mercy to this scumbag. She wanted only one thing; to drain him of every drop of his sweet, life giving blood. The choice I made could change me forever. Regardless of my inner turmoil, a decision needed to be made, so I made one. I threw myself at him. He gulped in a mouthful of air at a failed attempt to yell, but my fangs sunk into his neck before he could. All that escaped from between his lips was a drawn out wheeze. My first bite as a hybrid vampire was intoxicating. It took me over completely. Blood cascaded down my throat in waves of pure heat. The warmth exploded like tiny bubbles, scattering pleasure to every nerve ending in my body. I moaned and took another long pull from his neck. This time, his breathing hitched and his body tried to fall out of my arms. I took a couple more swallows and then decided to release my hold. He dropped. I fell to my knees.
Oh my God, what have I done?
I thought. On my knees, I scrambled across the gravel over to David’s limp body and listened. There was still a pulse. It was faint, but there. My fangs and claws retracted. The fog that seemed to engulf me and cloud my mind when my vampire was in the forefront disappeared, and with its withdrawal I was able to think clearly once again.

"Did I kill you?" My voiced cracked out with desperation.

I nudged him with a nervous hand, the movement jogging a soft choking sound from him. His leg twitched and his body began to jerk and flop around like a fish suffocating out of water. I jumped back and watched on in horror as thick black fur cascaded over every inch of his exposed skin. His bones twisted and turned, making sick popping sounds. David’s nose elongated and after a few more convulses, he flipped over onto four paws. A low growl erupted from his chest and a set of golden, lupine eyes narrowed on me. My heart began to hammer against my chest. This was bad, very, very, bad. Even though his blood still warmed my tongue, I hadn't killed him. Instead, I had inadvertently turned the bane of my existence, a psychopath, into the ultimate stalker. David was now a werewolf. The predator side of me took over and I quickly assessed the possible danger to myself. Though to my wonder, the new wolf didn't so much as move. He just stayed low to the ground, keeping a wary eye on me. I sniffed the air. His human blood still lingered from my earlier feeding. Other than that, a strong scent of wolf blanketed the night. There was no trace of another vampire for miles. That didn't make any sense to me. Ember was both wolf and vamp, so when she converted me I became both as well. So I was stumped as to how the product of my siring could be only werewolf and not both. I took a really good look at him. The lupine had a large build with jet black fur that shone almost blue under the moonlight. The way he stared disturbed me. He watched my every move like he was awaiting orders or a signal of some kind.