Ruby Shadows (50 page)

And there, on the far side of that chasm of
nightmares, was a shining, silver light. Just a slender beam but I
could see it—it was coming from the door that my little witch had
left open when she rescued her friend. It was a door that only
someone with her soul signature could close and it was balanced on
the furthest, most dangerous edge of the Abyss.

An edge I could not let her walk.

“
Gwendolyn…” I stepped
towards her but she eluded my touch. I was having none of that,
however. “Gwendolyn,” I said again and took her by the
shoulders.

“
Let me go!” She struggled
but I held her firmly—I needed to look her in the face when I said
what I had to say.

“
What is it?” she snapped
and her green eyes were filled with rage and pain. “What do you
want with me?”

“
Only to let you know
this—I care for you deeply, my darling. More deeply than I can
say.”

“
I know how you feel. I
just…don’t understand why you did what you did.” She blinked,
trying not to cry. It made my heart sore to see her pain but I knew
I must continue—there was no other way.

“
Gwendolyn,” I murmured.
“Do you really think I want to hold you against your will? There
are so many other ways I could have done that if I wished. The very
food of the Infernal Realm has the power to damn you to Hell for
eternity but have I not fed you of myself to keep that from
happening?”

“
Well…yes,” she admitted
grudgingly. I could see her relenting and so I pressed a little
harder.

“
Have I not protected you
and sacrificed for you and shielded you from harm as well as I am
able?”

“
Yes,” she
whispered.

“
Gwendolyn,” I whispered,
stroking her cheek. “Did the Mirror of the Eye not show that you
are in my heart? You
know
that I cannot be lying to you when I tell you how
I feel for you.”

“
I know.” She nodded and
pressed her soft cheek into my palm. “I know, Laish.”

I had her exactly where I wanted her and it
made my heart ache. Yet, there was no other way now—she had
rejected the sacrifice so this was my only path forward. I had to
keep her safe, even if it made her hate me later.

I looked into her
eyes.
“Mon ange,
I love you,”
I murmured.

“
I…I know. I’m sorry I
don’t know how I feel for you. I’m so confused right
now.”

“
It doesn’t matter,” I
told her gently. “All that matters is that you know I care for you
too much to trap you and tie you to me against your
will.”

I told the lie with all
the sincerity that I could muster though it tasted like ashes in my
mouth. I did care for her—that was true. I loved her as much as my
dark, demon’s heart would let me love. But I
would
tie her to me if I could—it
was the only way to save her.

The only way to keep her safe.

* * * * *

Gwendolyn

I wished I could tell Laish that I loved him
too but I just didn’t know how to feel. After watching him kill Ray
with the silver athame as calmly as if he was snuffing out a candle
flame, I felt all twisted into knots inside.

He’s a demon,
I told myself.
I’m sure
this isn’t the first time he’s killed—hell, it’s probably not even
the hundredth or the thousandth.

Somehow, the thought failed to comfort me.
All I could think was that Laish had killed Ray for me—that even
though I hadn’t wielded the knife, I was still somehow to blame.
The realization gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my
stomach.

My inner turmoil was made
worse by the fact that I was fiercely glad that the evil bastard
was dead.
Free—Keisha’s finally
free!
I couldn’t help thinking.
That son of a bitch, Ray got what was coming to
him.

Yes, he had—but at what cost?

The strange stew of emotions and the
aftershock of the killing made me dizzy. I put a hand to my head,
feeling like the world was spinning around me.

“
Gwendolyn, are you all
right?” Laish put an arm around me, supporting me as he looked at
me anxiously.

“
Fine, just…I think I need
to sit down a minute.” I started to sit down on the sandy ground
but he stopped me.

“
We can do better than
that.” With a wave of his hand, a small but lovely pavilion-type
tent appeared. It was made of some kind of yellow silky fabric with
a round top and was lit from within by a golden light.

“
Whoa—what’s that?” I eyed
it uncertainly.

“
A place to rest.” Laish
supported me as he led me into the tent. Inside it had a broad,
comfortable looking bed heaped with plush pillows and spread with
linens the same pale yellow as the tent itself. There was an old
fashioned oil lamp glowing softly on the bedside table. Laish even
showed me a flap on one wall that led to a small shower area
stocked with my favorite body wash and fluffy towels.

“
This is gorgeous,” I
said, looking around the small but luxurious tent. “But I thought
you were trying to conserve your power.”

“
That was before,” he
said. “I will shortly have enough power to deal with any number of
problems.”

Slowly, the meaning behind his words sank
in.

“
Oh, you mean after we…” I
cleared my throat—it was still hard to say the words out loud but
somehow I made myself. “You mean after we make love,” I made myself
say.

He nodded gravely. “Yes, that’s right.”

“
So you’ll get a power
surge out of it—out of taking my, uh, innocence?” I tried not to
sound bitter but it was difficult—especially since my own power was
soon to be cut in half.

Laish sighed. “Yes, but I
cannot help that,
mon ange.
I can no more help getting power from lust than
you can help getting energy from the food you eat or oxygen from
the air you breathe.”

“
All right,” I said
grudgingly. “I get the point. It’s not your fault you’re going to
get a charge out of it when you take my virginity.”

“
I am hoping that I will
not have to,” he said quietly.

“
What? What do you mean?”
I asked, trying not to sound too eager and hopeful. “You think
there’s a chance we won’t have to have sex?”

Laish frowned. “A very slim chance—probably
no chance at all. Still, I think it is worth taking our time and
trying things slowly. Though it is my guess that only taking the
act to completion will pay the tax and break the barrier, it is
always possible that something less might work.”

“
Something less? Like
what?”

“
Like simply rubbing
against one another with nothing between us,” Laish suggested. “Or
perhaps simply the act of penetration will bring the barrier
down.”

I frowned. “That’s no good. Penetration
equals sex which equals loss of virginity.”

“
Not by the rules of the
Infernal Realm,” Laish countered. “We believe that virginity is not
lost until after penetration and insemination.”

“
Seriously?” I could
hardly believe it. “So you think you can put your, uh, yourself
inside me and as long as you don’t…don’t come in me…” I could feel
my cheeks getting hotter and hotter as I spoke but I pressed on.
“As long as you don’t do that, I’m still technically a
virgin?”

“
Until you’ve had my cock
to the root inside you and been thoroughly fucked…” Laish murmured,
his eyes half-lidded. “Until that moment when you have my cum
dripping out of your pussy, you are still considered a virgin—at
least by Hell’s standards which are the only ones that count
here.”

My breath was already coming short and my
pulse was racing but I tried to keep my voice calm.

“
But that’s not what I
believe at all.”

“
It doesn’t matter what
you believe,
mon ange,”
he said. “You are in Hell—you must abide by the
Infernal rules.”

His words gave me a tiny sliver of hope. “I
don’t know what to think about that—it’s just weird. But if it’s
really true, then we might be able to pay the tax without me losing
half my power.”

“
It’s a possibility—but a
very slim one,” Laish acknowledged. “But before we put it to the
test, would you like to refresh yourself a little? Perhaps with a
hot shower?”

“
That would be nice, yes,”
I said gratefully. “But I thought you told me the hot shower I had
back at the Citadel of Knowledge would be my last one down
here.”

He shrugged. “That was before, when I
thought you would take the other option I offered. If you had, the
barrier would be lowered by now and there would be no time for
bathing.”

“
I’m sorry,” I said
awkwardly. “I just couldn’t…couldn’t go there no matter how much he
deserved it.”

“
Never apologize for being
merciful,
mon ange.”
He cupped my cheek and stroked his thumb gently over my
cheekbone. “It is one of the things I value about you—your
compassion.”

“
Thank you,” I whispered,
not knowing what else to say.

Laish smiled. “You’re very welcome. Now go
refresh yourself. I will meet you here when you return.” He nodded
at the bed and I knew what he meant. We were meeting in bed for one
reason and one alone—to commit a sexual sin great enough to pay the
Sin Tax and bring the barrier crashing down.

I just wondered if we would be able to do
that without Laish taking my virginity completely.

Chapter Thirty

Gwendolyn

We’d been riding all day and the steaming
water spraying down from the little silver shower nozzle felt
wonderful. Laish had thoughtfully provided a big puffy scrubbie
along with my favorite vanilla jasmine body wash, so I was able to
have a wonderful time lathering up and rinsing, taking my time and
letting the hot water soothe my tired muscles.

But after a while I knew I was as clean and
relaxed and soothed as I was going to get. The only reason I was
still in the shower at that point was because I was stalling. Not
wanting to get out and take the next step.

The minute I realized what I was doing, I
made myself stop. After all, as Grams always says, “Soonest
started, soonest finished.” In other words, just get on with it
already. Although I doubted she’d approve of me applying her
metaphor to losing my virginity to a demon, the principle still
applied.

I dried myself with a big, fluffy towel and
applied a little scented oil I found on the tiny shelf to make my
skin feel nice and soft. The long white dress with red flowers
which I’d taken off had disappeared but I didn’t panic. Knowing
Laish as I did, I was certain he would have left something in its
place for me to wear. And sure enough, I found it—a pile of deep
green silky fabric folded neatly beside the stack of towels.

I expected it to be a slinky lingerie set
like the white lace babydoll he’d conjured me to wear the night
before. But to my surprise, it was just a simple green silk robe
that fell to mid thigh. There were no buttons to close it—only a
simple sash and I couldn’t help noticing there were no panties to
go with it either. Clearly Laish wanted me completely bare beneath
the silky fabric.

I put the robe on, feeling self-conscious
about the way it clung to my curves and outlined the sharp points
of my nipples. But I had an idea I wouldn’t be keeping it on for
long so I’d better try to get over my shyness now.

Lifting my chin, I stepped back into the
main part of the tent and saw Laish waiting for me. He was lying on
his side on the bed, still wearing his suit. Well—the trousers and
shirt, anyway. He had taken off the jacket and the red tie that
went with it. The crisp, white shirt was unbuttoned, showing his
muscular chest. Somehow seeing him still clothed while I wore
almost nothing made me feel even more naked beneath the robe.

“
Mon ange,”
he murmured, sitting up on the side of the bed
and motioning to me to come stand by him. “You look positively
radiant.”

“
Thanks.” The word came
out as a nervous croak and I had to try again. “Um, thank you, I
mean,” I said and came to stand between his spread thighs. He put
his hands on my hips.

“
So lovely,” he murmured.
“I knew that color would suit you. It makes your eyes look like the
purest jade.”

I could feel my cheeks getting hot with his
compliments and the way he was looking at me. Oh Goddess, was I
really going to do this? Was I finally going to give it up? How
many years had I waited for the right man?

“
I am here, now,” Laish
murmured, clearly answering my thought.

I gave a broken little laugh.

“
I wish that was true. But
I’m afraid I meant a man with a soul. If you had one, we could form
a soul bond.”

“
Would you
want
to form a bond with
me? Do you feel that strongly for me,
mon
ange?”
He looked at me
intently.

“
I…don’t know. I’m sorry,
Laish.” I found I couldn’t meet his eyes and had to look
away.

“
Never apologize for your
true feelings,” he said gently. “It is I who am sorry. If we could
bond, your power would be doubled or even trebled instead of being
halved.”