Rumours and Red Roses (16 page)

‘I know. I didn’t kiss Mr Jenkins …’

They laughed. Mr Jenkins was not the kissable sort. ‘But he looked so pleased for us. How do they do a job like that? What happens when it goes wrong? How do they face the parents then?’

‘Come on, don’t let’s get on to that. We’ll only get depressed. We’re the lucky ones.’

‘Look, Adele …’ Becky said, pausing as their plates were removed. ‘We must keep in touch.’

‘What a good idea. Of course we must.’

It was suddenly important to Becky that they did. She had lost some of her old friends. She had tried her best to stay the same for them but they all knew it
wasn’t
the same any more. She had money now and nice clothes and a little car of her own and so they had drifted apart
gradually
and, with her mum gone and the old house sold, she had no reason to go back to the old haunts. She needed to make new friends but her neighbours at the apartment were largely young professionals and not around much. She was, she realized, in danger of becoming lonely and now that the anxiety about the baby had been removed, or partly, she needed to look forward and move on and making friends or at least one friend was a start.

It was so easy to say the words ‘do keep in touch’ but she knew from experience that, often, once out of sight it was out of mind too. She needed Adele. They had suffered the same trauma and come through it, together almost, and that had to count for an awful lot. Also, she needed to keep track of little Alexander whom she had grown fond of
over the weeks they had been here. He was such a sweet little boy, as dark as Samantha was fair. She picked up her shamefully expensive handbag and took out her diary, pointedly waiting for Adele to do the same.

One of them had to do it.

‘Let’s arrange a date,’ she said. 

A
FTER A FEW
weeks, the change in the child was nothing short of miraculous. She was now eating well, gaining weight, she had some colour in her cheeks, she was no longer breathless and she had not had a chest cold, which had previously dragged her dangerously down, since the operation.

The nursery nurse’s time with them came to a close and, whilst Becky was grateful for the support and confidence she had given her in those difficult first few weeks, she was not sorry to see her go. She was looking forward to looking after her child herself now, as the anxiety she had felt slowly diminished. Little human beings were remarkably resilient and it helped that Samantha, little as she was, had no real inkling of what she had gone through.

With the improvement in Samantha’s health came a gradual change in Becky and Simon’s relationship. Only now did she realize what a tough call it had been for both of them. She had sailed through the pregnancy in spite of her mum’s ever-anxious calls from across the world. The birth itself had been a breeze and she had felt remarkably in control of the whole business with Simon at her side.

The baby’s birth had to count as one of the most precious moments in her life and, seeing Simon’s face, his excitement and sheer joy, mirrored she supposed in her own, had been the stuff of happy dreams. They could never be quite so happy again.

And then, almost at once, they got the news of the heart problem. This had shattered that happiness into a thousand little shards, having the effect of sending them spiralling inwards into their own thoughts. She had been so caught up with her worries that she had neglected him terribly, even accusing him once of not caring, but had he ever hit back?
No. Not once. He had the patience of a saint. She had a husband in a million and now she determined to make it up to him.

And so, after a period of gentle adjustment, their relationship returned slowly and wonderfully to what it used to be. They were able to talk at last about what a tremendous strain it had been with both of them trying their best to be strong for the other. Subconsciously, they had operated a see-saw system. She would be optimistic when he was not and vice versa.

It was only on the day of the operation itself that she had lost patience with his patience but, being the man he was, he had
understood
. It had been such a whirlwind of emotions that day and she had even been annoyed with him
because
he was so understanding. A row might have helped. She had maybe wanted to see some fire in his eyes, some fight, not the resigned acceptance he had shown.

Coming back to the hospital, after her entirely forgettable lunch with Adele Chandler, she had taken one look at his stricken face and rushed at him, into the comfort and warmth of his arms, needing him to hold her tight a moment.

‘Sorry,’ she had murmured against his chest. ‘I’m being an absolute bitch. I’m so sorry.’

‘For what?’ he asked gently, smoothing her hair. ‘I know you’re just trying your best to cope. We all go through it in our own way,
sweetheart
.’

However, the way she had acted, the way she had pushed him aside in her hour of need, could have festered within him. She could see now why for some people in their situation, the relationship broke down completely.

Becky, although she thought seriously about it, decided it was sensible not to pursue her hoped-for college course but to stay at home for the moment and put all her time and energy into looking after Samantha. How could she leave her little girl to somebody else’s charge after all she had gone through? Later, she might think about it and, in the meantime, there was nothing to stop her sketching and drawing whenever the mood caught her.

She was Simon’s support, just as he had hoped she would be, and, if other women might scoff at that, at the way she had taken to the ‘little woman’ role, then that was their problem. She met up with a now
free-as-air
Marina from time to time but there was a subtle change in their
relationship, the slightest cooling, that she couldn’t quite pin down. She wondered if Marina’s fondness for Simon did not have a more serious tinge than she let on and perhaps seeing the two of them together and obviously happy, with a lovely little daughter to put the icing on the cake, was too much for her. But if she had truly felt like that, why in heaven’s name had she introduced them in the first place? Perhaps she had never bargained on it being a match made in heaven?

Her days were taking on a pleasant routine. Simon was busy but not excessively so and when he was home work was forgotten. The
weekends
were their time together as a family. They paid parental visits to Esther and Johnny, Esther utterly entranced by her little granddaughter, Johnny presumably equally pleased if not quite so in-your-face.

They never quite fell into the category of duty visits, mainly because Becky got on so well with her mother-in-law, but she and Simon preferred being together as a little family unit, just the three of them. What they liked to do most was to drive over to the coast, over to Southport in particular where they would take a leisurely walk along Lord Street, window shopping, before crossing to the promenade, looking across what was often a grey, blustery sea towards Blackpool and the distinctive tower. Becky had talked to Simon a lot about her dad and his short but important role in her life, about fishing on the jetty over there with him and Simon had laughed, saying that when she was old enough, he might inflict the same on Samantha except he would be dragging her around archaeological sites. Archaeology, when he had time, was his other passion.

‘She will be bored rigid. You dads!’ But she smiled as she said it.

Simon was not so forthcoming in talking about
his
family and she detected a certain reserve creeping in particularly when he mentioned his father. He had been sent to boarding school at twelve, an experience he had more or less enjoyed but she gathered it had been very much his father’s decision and that his mother had ultimately and sadly relented to having her son, her only child, go away from home. It said something about Esther. She was a strong woman in many ways but perhaps for the wrong reason. Becky felt she ought to stick up for herself more, as her mum would put it, and not be quite so willing to succumb every single blessed time to Johnny’s wishes. Johnny was a bit of a bully where women were concerned and she didn’t like it – but she knew he was unlikely to change now.

One thing was sure. No way was she letting Samantha go away to school, but then thankfully Simon agreed with her on that.

It was obvious, although never said, that Simon was fonder of his mother, that his relationship with his father was, for whatever reason, not so close. Knowing what she did know, knowing that in a way Johnny had driven
her
mother to a still not proven second marriage which had shunted her off to Australia, Becky did not press him. It made her feel strangely protective of Esther, though, when she thought of what the woman might have had to put up with over the years. A man like Johnny was sure to have had affairs. Either Esther was
blissfully
ignorant or, more likely, because she was an intelligent woman, she was fully aware of it, of her husband’s faults and indiscretions, but chose to do nothing. She, after all, led a very comfortable life and maybe she had decided to be happy with what she did have and turn a blind eye.

During the week, weather permitting, Becky often took a leisurely stroll through the little garden square just outside the apartment, talking all the while to Samantha, whose blue eyes seemed to take it all in. Just now, the trees were in full leaf and the little girl would lie in her buggy and look up at them, at the sunlight filtering through. Deep down, Becky suspected they would not have another child. After Samantha, she felt that she should not push her luck and she knew that Simon was very concerned about that. At her age, over forty now, there might be all sorts of problems and she could not risk it. If there was to be another problem with another child, it might not work out so well next time and the thought of setting foot on that roller-coaster of anxiety and emotion yet again was something she could not seriously contemplate.

The only cloud on the horizon these days was that she still missed her mum dreadfully. They had tried letter writing but it was one-sided because Shelley was not a great correspondent and when they
telephoned
each other it was never completely satisfactory, one or either of them usually ending up in tears as they said goodbye. Phoning Australia was not something to be taken lightly. You had to think about the time difference for a start and she had once made the mistake of ringing in the middle of their night which had panicked her mum and annoyed Alan.

She had taken recently to having Samantha with her when she phoned so that she could put the baby on the line, as it were, and then
she would hear her mum talking baby-talk to her, putting on that special voice mums and grandmums use. As often as not, Samantha would not notice, trying to grab the phone itself or Becky’s hair.

‘She’s smiling, Mum,’ Becky would say, knowing that the white lie was a lifeline for her mum to grab. ‘She can hear your voice. She
recognizes
it.’

‘Does she?’ Her mum was happy to be grabbing at straws. ‘Put her back on to say bye-bye.’

‘She’s waving, Mum,’ Becky would say, as the little one, hearing the excited mumsy voice on the other end of the line, looked merely puzzled.

And, when she finally put the phone down, every time, every single time, she had to stopper the tears. Simon did his best. He knew she missed Shelley and had promised a visit as soon as they could get it organized but perversely Becky was not pushing it because, even though they had got the go-ahead from the medical team, she was still a little concerned about dragging Samantha all that way.

Esther was great, a doting grandmother, a very nice woman who treated Becky like the daughter she had never had.

But she was not her mum. 

‘S
O WHAT’S HAPPENING
with the catering business these days?’ Becky asked, clicking the brake of the buggy as she and Adele reached the bench on the park. ‘Oh, by the way, Simon’s mother remembered you straightaway from the wedding. “Wasn’t she our caterer? she said” You made a lovely job of it.’

Adele laughed. ‘I hope you’re not just saying that. It was one of our first big jobs, that, and your mother-in-law knew exactly what she wanted. That makes it easier in some ways but harder in others. It’s wonderful working with people. I like it.’

‘So it’s going well, then?’

They had settled into a routine now of meeting each other once a week, varying the venue. Becky liked to go to Adele’s home, a house she secretly coveted. When she did that, the two of them would sit outside on the flagged area by the French doors, weather permitting, and the children could play in the wild and wonderful garden although they had to be sure to keep them well away from the little pond.

Visits to Becky’s followed a different pattern. They had had a light lunch at the apartment and then strolled through the square and beyond, down to the gently undulating park beside the river, taking advantage of the summer sunshine. Adele looked lovely as always in a light-as-air lime-green sundress, her shoulders lightly tanned, eyes shaded in designer sunglasses, Becky covered up more in a baggy linen over-shirt and lightweight trousers. Her weight had ballooned when she was pregnant, dipped a little during the worst times afterwards but, overall, she had not lost as much as she would have wanted, although Simon, bless him, said he loved every inch. Nevertheless, unbeknown to him, she was on a diet. Sort of.

‘The business is doing very well, although at the moment it’s no thanks to me,’ Adele told her, pulling her face as she said it. ‘I feel very bad about it. The truth is I’m not as committed as I was. I’ve lost interest a little. I have to keep going because it’s not fair to Emma but if she could find somebody else to work with then I’d happily give it all up. Having Alex and all the problems he brought with him has made me look at life differently. If that doesn’t sound too trite?’ she asked anxiously. ‘Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean to sound as if I’m giving up on life. And I’ve enjoyed doing the catering up to now. I still do to some extent but it’s not the be-all and end-all any more. It never was, to be honest. And we don’t really need the money. Rory’s doing very well.’

Becky didn’t need to be told that. Adele was always beautifully dressed, sporting a new diamond ring today, a birthday gift from Rory. She wouldn’t dream of asking how much it had cost, if indeed Adele knew, but the way it flashed and sparkled meant she would take a bet that it hadn’t come from Argos.

‘I understand exactly what you mean,’ she said, responding to Adele’s concerns about her lack of interest in her business. ‘You get your
priorities
right when something like this happens. Health is everything, Adele. You can have all the money in the world but … oh well, you know what I mean. It’s the old, old story.’

They exchanged a smile.

‘I keep remembering the day of the operation and I wish I wouldn’t,’ Becky went on. ‘It’s like I’ve got it on some sort of video in my head. I can fast forward or slow down or pause it. Every moment of it. Apart from lunch, that is. I seem to have blocked that bit out. How Simon put up with me that day, I shall never know. I was an absolute pain from the word go. I think I told him off for not having a shave and then I just went on snapping at him about anything and everything. He dare not speak in the end because he couldn’t say anything right.’

Adele nodded her agreement. ‘It was almost too much to cope with. I had to walk out on Rory and leave him to it because I was sick of the way he was looking at the clock, counting the minutes. Checking his watch. I like the idea of the video. I never thought of it that way but I can do exactly the same. It’s as if the minutes are imprinted on my brain. I suppose they’ll always be there. Important moments are, aren’t they?’

‘We went to the chapel before she went to theatre. Did you?’

‘Yes. It seemed a bit of a cheat because neither of us is what you would call believers but we felt we had to keep all the options open.’

‘The chaplain was wonderful, wasn’t he? I meant to go and thank him afterwards but, in all the excitement, I forgot. That makes me feel terrible. We might think about going to church when we move. If nothing else, it is a nice thing to do as a family and I’m determined to be open-minded about it.’

‘Move?’ Adele picked up on that. ‘You’re not leaving town, I hope?’

‘No, good heavens, no. I wouldn’t dream of leaving here.’

‘Neither would I. I don’t know how your mother could do it. Shoot off to the other side of the world just like that.’

‘She got married and there were other reasons,’ she said, wishing she had not as she caught Adele’s curious glance. ‘Personal reasons,’ she added.

‘I’m not the adventurous type,’ Adele said. ‘I don’t believe I’ll ever move and my mother would kill me if I suggested it. She thinks the world of Alexander and likes him to be near at hand.’

‘I want to move to a house. I love the apartment but I still think of it as Simon’s place. I just moved in with him and, however you look at it, it’s not suitable for a child,’ Becky explained. ‘It’s not so bad now but as she gets older there’s going to be nowhere for her to play. I love your house and I like that area of town. Ideally, I’d like something like that. Let me know if anything comes up, will you?’

‘There’s been nothing on the market for years, not since Rory bought the house,’ Adele said. ‘But I’ll keep my eyes and ears open. You’ll be the first to know.’

‘Thanks. It would be nice to be neighbours.’ Becky smiled at her. ‘The little ones could see more of each other.’

‘How are things with you two these days? With you and Simon?’ Adele’s cheeks flushed as she caught Becky’s surprise. ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to be personal. It’s just that …’ She hesitated. ‘Can I tell you something in confidence, Becky?’

‘Anything,’ she said. ‘It won’t go any further.’

‘I know it won’t. I’ve got to tell somebody and I don’t want to tell my mother because she has enough on her plate just now. My dad has finally retired completely,’ she explained with a smile. ‘And even though he keeps very busy, it’s upset her routine. She’s making very heavy weather of it. Added to that, Gran’s driving her round the bend. For a
woman of eighty-six she has such energy. In fact, I think she has more than me just now. I feel like a wet rag at the moment.’

‘You look fine.’

‘That’s just appearances.’ Adele smiled wryly. ‘I’m good with
appearances
. I’m like my gran, I suppose. She’s asked me to pick out the clothes she wears in her coffin and if that’s not morbid I don’t know what is. I see her point though. She doesn’t want to leave the choice to my mother.’

‘What’s wrong?’ Becky asked as Adele fell silent.

‘Things aren’t great between me and Rory just now. It’s been so topsy-turvy. With my being pregnant straight off, we never really had the time to adjust to being married, to living together, and we hadn’t known each other very long in any case. I’d just broken up with my partner and I jumped into the thing with Rory. My mother thinks I married on the rebound.’

‘Mothers!’ Becky smiled sympathetically. ‘They always think they know best. I suppose we’ll be the same with our two when they’re grown up.’

‘I hope not. I’ll have to remember to bite my tongue rather than grumble about Alex’s choice of girlfriend. Anyway, the awful thing was that Rory wasn’t happy about the baby at first, especially as we had agreed that we wouldn’t have children. I didn’t particularly want a baby and he’s older as you know and he has his girls and didn’t want to go through all that again.’

‘Oops …’ Becky glanced at her in surprise. ‘I would never have guessed. He seems to dote on Alex.’

‘He does. That’s just it. I had a terrible pregnancy, sick as a dog throughout, and he just about held it together although we came close to having a big bust-up at one point. As I was doing one of my
spectacular
throw-ups into the lavatory one morning, he had the cheek to say, “Angela was never sick like this,” and I said, “Sod her. I bloody am!”’ She smiled. ‘There was no reasoning with me. And, as for the business, poor Emma had to cope as best she could. I was a liability. I couldn’t even look at food at one time, let alone cook it.’

‘Poor you. I was fine after the first few weeks. I felt wonderful,’ Becky told her, remembering the glow of those middle months. ‘Sorry.’

They laughed.

‘Once Alex was born, it was a different story,’ Adele said. ‘From the
word go, Rory was utterly besotted with him. Still is. But then we found out about the heart thing and having to go through all that worry meant things have been difficult. It’s just been there, stuck there, for all these months. He has his running to take his mind off things but what do I have?’

‘He’s still running?’

‘Oh yes. He’s not done the London Marathon yet and he’s
determined
to do that before he gets too old. I want to know what he thinks about when he’s running. When he’s pounding along the road. Whatever it is, I’m not included in it.’ She fired a quick defensive look Becky’s way. ‘And the thing that really bugs me is that he’s caught up still with his daughters. Of course, I don’t blame him for that but I do feel a sort of resentment towards
them
. They know what we’ve been going through with Alex and, to be honest, they haven’t been as supportive as I would have liked.’

‘It must be difficult for them,’ Becky said. ‘Try to put yourself in their position.’

Adele gave her a hard look. ‘Don’t you think I’ve tried? I have to be very careful. I can’t say a thing against them or Rory jumps down my throat.’

‘Well, he
is
their father,’ Becky pointed out, not sure which side of the fence she should be sitting on, feeling as she did a little sympathy towards Rory.

‘I know. I can tell you think I’m being unreasonable. I want him to tell them to back off, stop worrying him with their worries and leave him to concentrate on Alex for the moment. Alex needs him more than they do. They are always on at him to give them money and he’s a soft touch. Why can’t they ask their mother? Angela’s married to a
billionaire
, for goodness’ sake.’

‘Perhaps they feel pushed out. I know it sounds silly but have you considered that they might just be a bit jealous of all the attention Alex is getting?’

‘Jealous? Whatever for? They’re grown women and he’s a baby. And he’s had major heart surgery. Don’t you think he deserves special
attention
?’ she said, her eyes bright with sudden anger.

‘Yes, of course he does, but worry like we’ve gone through makes us extra sensitive, Adele,’ Becky said carefully. ‘It was hard for me and Simon for a time and I kept blaming myself. What did I do at that
moment in my pregnancy when the heart was forming? I must have done something to upset it. Simon was a big help to me especially when my mum was away. And his mother Esther’s been wonderful too.’

‘How is your mother? How was her trip over?’

‘The usual white-knuckle ride. She hates flying and she was on her own this time. Still, she’s here now for a little while.’

‘It must be lovely for you to have her back. I’m sorry I didn’t meet her today.’

‘You just missed her. She’s gone to see some of her old friends. She never stops talking about Australia. It’s definitely the place to be.’

‘She’s settled there then?’

‘I think so. It sounds wonderful. She’s got a lovely
pink
house and a swimming pool of all things. Heart-shaped. It makes a change from what she used to have. Alan’s doing her proud but it’s no more than she deserves. When I think back, I never appreciated what she did for me when I was little.’

‘You never do. Are you planning a trip over there when she goes back?’

‘Oh yes, although not for a while. She’ll have had her fill of babies I should think by the time she goes back. She’s being very good and doing her best not to interfere. But then, as she admits, she was always
hopeless
with babies.’

‘She must miss her husband though. Couldn’t he come over too?’

‘It’s not so easy. He’s got a business to run and he doesn’t like leaving Australia, which he thinks of as his home now, to come back here. And, on top of that, it isn’t
his
grandchild, if you know what I mean. I’m proud of Mum. It was a big thing for her to come back on her own this time with nobody to hold her hand.’

‘So you and Simon …’ Adele seemed anxious to return to the subject. ‘Do you think it’s made your relationship stronger having to go through it? I read somewhere that suffering a trauma such as ours means it goes either way and maybe it’s going the wrong way for us. I feel so fragile and I need Rory but he’s very distracted just now and he won’t talk about things. He bottles things up and it worries me. And if things get too much he puts on those bloody trainers and goes out for a run.’

‘It’s just the reaction. He’s
been
strong for you, hasn’t he? And maybe this is just his way of relaxing now that everything’s going to be all right.
Give him time, Adele. As for Simon and me, yes, it’s made us stronger,’ she admitted, half afraid to be saying it because Adele looked so down.

Samantha was starting to get restless and they moved on.

She was glad she and Adele had kept in touch because it was obvious that all was not well. She hoped she was wrong and that she and Rory were just going through a tough patch but she had a bad feeling about it. Adele was starting to develop a defeated look.

Before long, she might need a friend.