Authors: Yukio Mishima
PROSECUTOR
: Well, then, what year, what month, what day was it?
KITAZAKI
: Well, I’m fairly sure it was last year. Yes, it was. And because I didn’t think it was at all strange that the sliding door should be closed, I know it wasn’t summer—maybe not even early summer or early fall. The weather must have been cold, but it wasn’t too cold out, so it could have been last spring as late as April, or else from October on. The time of day was dinner time, at night, but as for the day itself . . . well, sir, on that, I’m not quite sure.
PROSECUTOR
: So it was April or October, or perhaps March or November. Can’t you be more specific?
KITAZAKI
: No, sir. But I’m trying hard to remember. Let’s see. . . . Yes, it was October or November.
PROSECUTOR
: But which was it: October or November?
KITAZAKI
: On that point, I’m not sure.
PROSECUTOR
: Could one say that it was either the end of October or the beginning of November?
KITAZAKI
: Yes, sir. That’s fine with me. Forgive me for being so useless.
PROSECUTOR
: Who was the visitor that night?
KITAZAKI
: I don’t know his name. Lieutenant Hori would only tell me how many young visitors he was expecting, and when they were supposed to come.
PROSECUTOR
: His visitor that night was also young?
KITAZAKI
: Yes, sir. It was a student, I believe.
PROSECUTOR
: Would you be able to recognize him again?
KITAZAKI
: Well, sir . . . perhaps.
PROSECUTOR
: Please turn around, Mr. Kitazaki. Is the one who visited the Lieutenant that night there among the defendants? You may if you like get up and examine each of their faces.
JUDGE
: What are the circumstances of your being acquainted with the defendant?
MAKIKO
: My father, Your Honor, is a friend of Mr. Iinuma’s father. And furthermore, since my father enjoys the company of young men, Mr. Iinuma was a frequent guest at our house. And the relationship was much closer than that with relatives.
JUDGE
: When was the last time you saw the defendant, and where was it?
MAKIKO
: The evening of last November twenty-ninth. He came to the house.
JUDGE
: The content of your diary that is being offered as evidence is altogether accurate?
MAKIKO
: Yes, Your Honor, it is.
JUDGE
: The defense may now question the witness.
HONDA
: Yes, Your Honor. Miss Kito, this is your diary of last year, isn’t it?
MAKIKO
: Yes, sir.
HONDA
: This diary is the sort in which the pages are not marked with dates, allowing you to write as much as you like, and you’ve kept such diaries faithfully for years. Is that correct?
MAKIKO
: Yes, sir, that is correct. And so I can at times put in
waka
and the like.
HONDA
: Your method from long past has been to leave a blank line between entries and not begin a new page each day?
MAKIKO
: Yes, sir. In the last two or three years I’ve been writing so much that if I started a new page each day, even in a diary without printed dates, I would run out of pages by fall. So it doesn’t look neat, but that is how I make entries every day.
HONDA
: Very well, then. Last year, 1932, that is, as to the entry of November twenty-ninth, this was not something that you wrote later, but you can testify that it was written that very night?
MAKIKO
: Yes, sir. I’ve never let a day go by without writing in my diary. That day too I made an entry before going to bed.
HONDA
: Now, in that entry of November twenty-ninth, 1932, I shall read aloud just the portion that pertains to the defendant Iinuma:
. . . Tonight at around eight o’clock, Isao paid an unexpected visit. Though I had not seen him in quite some time, I was thinking of him tonight, why I don’t know, and perhaps it was my odd faculty for premonition that impelled me toward the entrance hall before the bell rang. As usual, he was wearing his student uniform and had clogs on his feet, but when I looked at his face I sensed that something had happened. He seemed stiff and formal. He suddenly thrust toward me a small keg he was carrying and said: “My mother asked me to bring you this. It’s a few of the oysters we received from Hiroshima.” In the darkness of the entrance hall, the water inside the barrel made a sound like a clucking tongue.Fidgeting about, he made the excuse that he had studying to do and so had to go, but the lie was written all over his face. I never would have expected such a thing from the Isao I knew. Pressing him to stay, I accepted the keg and went to tell Father, who cordially said: “Have him come in.”I rushed back to the entrance hall. Isao was already slipping out the door. I hurried out after him. I wanted at all costs to find out what was troubling him.I am sure he knew that I was following him, but he neither turned around nor altered his pace. When we had reached the front of Hakusan Park, I called out to him: “What are you angry about?” and he finally stopped. He turned around to face me, and he smiled in a grim, embarrassed manner. We then sat down upon a bench in the park, and we talked there, in the cold night wind.I asked him how he and his group were getting on. For some time he and his comrades have been gathering at the house and talking about how intolerable are the present circumstances of Japan, and I too have been a part of this, often treating them all to a supper of sukiyaki and the like. And I had been thinking that it was the activity of this group that had been keeping Isao away from the house in recent days.Isao answered me with a woeful expression: “What I really meant to do in coming to your house was to talk to you about the group. But when I saw your face, since I had said such brave things before, I was embarrassed and couldn’t say anything. And so I stole away.” The words were spoken slowly and painfully.The story that came out from my questions was as follows: Without my having been aware of it, the direction of his group’s activities had gotten altogether out of hand, and the truth of the matter was that each of those involved, to hide his own fears and to measure the courage of the group, had grown ever more violently vocal, and as the numbers increased of those who fell away because this bravado unnerved them, the handful who remained bluffed all the harder. And while their actual resolution grew ever weaker, their words and their plans kept mounting toward a fantastic bloody retribution. They no longer knew what to do with each other. Since none of them could show a trace of weakness in his words, an outsider would no doubt have been appalled by what went on at their meetings, but in fact no one any longer really wanted to take action. With the situation as it was, however, not one of them had the courage to insist on giving up their plan, for fear that he would be branded a coward. Furthermore, if things went on this way, the danger would grow more acute. All unwillingly, they would rush ahead on a collision course with the deed that they had no intention of performing. Isao himself, their leader, no longer wanted to go through with it. Was there no way of drawing back? And the real purpose in his coming to the house tonight had been to ask advice. Those were the circumstances.I used every argument I could think of to urge him to give it up. The manly thing to do was to put an end to things. And so, even if his comrades turned their backs on him now, the time would certainly come when they would understand. There were many other ways to serve one’s country. And, if he didn’t mind, I would be willing to try to persuade his comrades from a woman’s standpoint. But when he replied that that would only embarrass him, I thought he was right and I acquiesced.When we parted before Hakusan Shrine, Isao turned to me after we had prayed together and said: “Thanks to you, I feel good again. I have no intention of going through with it. As soon as I find the chance, I’ll tell everyone that it’s off.” He laughed cheerfully when he said this, and so I was somewhat relieved. But still, in my breast there was a lingering uneasiness.As I write this my head is clear and alert, and I shall not be able to sleep tonight. If some misfortune should overtake that fine young man in whom my father, too, has placed such hope, I think I can say that Japan herself will suffer a great loss. My heart is heavy tonight. I am in no mood to write poems.