Running from Love: A Story for Runners and Lovers (37 page)

“Yourself,” he shouted back. His gaze was a laser beam pointing into her soul.

“What are you talking about?” She couldn’t believe her ears. He’d just told her exactly what she’d told herself in the San Diego race the day after Christmas.

“You’re getting in the way of yourself.”

“How do you know that?” she cried into the crisp night air. What was he? A mind reader? Her shrink?

“Because you need to do something.”

“Was he going to tell her she needed to get into therapy? If he did, she’d smack him the second they stopped running. She’d dispatched Will and she could dispatch him.

“Follow resolution number two.” In two strides, he pulled up alongside her.

“This had better be good,” she shot back. She couldn’t help it. She was curious to know what it was.

“It is.” He surged ahead then turned around directly in front of her, running backward. “Date me,” he said, his voice low and clear.

“What??” She slowed her gait so he wouldn’t trip. “Had she heard right?

“I said, “Date me.”

“Get out of my way,” she ordered, her heart saying something else.

“Not until you say yes.”

She looked into his eyes. They were steady, warm, and unwavering.

“Are you serious?” she asked sternly, although her heart glowed.

“Yes.”

“What about all those rich women crazy about you back in Greenwich?”

“I don’t like smug women, and they weren’t.”

“They looked like they were.” Farrah’s heart leapt to hear him say he didn’t like smug types. Neither did she. It was the type she’d never been and never would be.

“Money follows money. It’s a law of physics or something. I’m not just a ghostwriter. I’m a ghost. I’m invisible to rich women or wannabe rich women.”

“It looked like you were very visible at the end of Leatherman’s Loop.”

“Have you ever been played?’

She gulped. God had she ever. “No comment.”

“Okay, so you know what I’m talking about. I’m like a plaything for them. Fun to talk with at a party, to raise money for their charities, to tell their stories to when their husband’s are too busy, and that’s it. In their world, a guy like me isn’t even on their radar screen.” He paused, his dark blue eyes drilling into hers. “And I don’t want to be.”

Farrah scrutinized him. His face was earnest, thoughtful; his gaze focused. He looked like he knew what he wanted. But could she trust him?

“So why were you staying at Ms. Big Boy’s house over the past month?”

“Says who? What are you talking about?”

“Your little friend from Leatherman’s Loop. The one you drove home.” Resisting the urge to speed up, she kept pace with him, wanting to hear his explanation. The final hours of the year were a good time to tie up loose ends.

“I thought you left Leatherman’s early. What do you know about who I drove home?”

“I was still there.”

“Then why didn’t you come find me?” He looked astonished.

“You seemed busy with those women fawning all over you on stage.”

“It was a photo shoot. They sponsored me for the race, okay?”

“I guess it should have been okay, but it wasn’t.”

“I was about to come find you but you told me you got sick.”

“I
was
sick. Just not sick-sick.”

“What kind of sick then?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Try.”

“I saw those women on stage with you, and I knew I could never be like any of them. I just felt like I didn’t belong. And I hate that feeling. So I left.”

Jude’s face darkened.

“I know the feeling. And I hate it as much as you do.”

“You do?” It was Farrah’s turn to be surprised.

“Like you don’t belong somewhere fate has put you.”

“Or you’ve put yourself,” she added, thinking of how hard she’d tried to make herself belong with Will, when she didn’t.

“Farrah, that’s the story of my childhood. The story I’m going to write some day.”

Relief coursed through her to think they shared similar vulnerabilities. She didn’t need to hide her weak points from him. But she still needed to know what was up with the woman she’d seen in the parking lot.

“Don’t change the subject. I saw you walk to your car with that
chica
in high-heeled boots.”

“So? She was one of my interview subjects for my book. I wish it had been you I’d been driving somewhere, like we planned.”

“Well, I saw you, and I know that was the same chick who called you Big Boy on the phone. Come on Jude, don’t lie to me. It was, wasn’t it?”

Underneath the street light they were passing, Jude’s face looked strained. “Yeah, it was. So what?”

“So you have the cheek to be staying at her place while you’re making noises to me about getting back together?”

“Wait a minute. I never stayed at Missy’s place.”

“Missy Marshall, is that it?”

“No. Missy Henckels. She’s married to Jay Henckels. What made you think it was Marshall?”

“Because I drove by the Marshall place and saw her there.” Jay Henckels? Farrah felt uncomfortable. The woman had referred to someone’s name as “J.” Farrah had jumped to the conclusion she was referring to Jude.

“You drove by Jordan Marshall’s place?”

“I wanted to see where you lived, so over Thanksgiving weekend I went to the house next to the high school and saw the sign on the mailbox with your forwarding address. Then I drove by there. I thought you said you lived in somebody’s pool house.”

“I do. I was staying over the garage at the Marshall’s place because my landlords needed the pool house over the holidays for their guests. I moved back to my old place last week.”

“So why was little hot stuff standing in the doorway like she owned the place?”

“I don’t know but Missy is Jordan’s friend. They head a committee together. She was probably hosting a meeting there while Jordan was out running an errand.” Jude looked pleased as he caught her eye. “So you wanted to see where I lived? Why didn’t you just call me?”

“I was doing some research, okay? Plus you said you were going to your sister’s for the weekend.”

Jude thought back to Thanksgiving weekend. He’d been down at his sister’s until Saturday evening. When he’d called Farrah on Sunday, she hadn’t picked up.

“Didn’t you tell me you were going out of town?” he asked.

“I did. I came back a little sooner than planned.”

“Plans changed?”

“You could say that.” She felt her face grow fierce. The cold air soothed it.

“For the better?”

“Yes.” She sped up, a bounce in her step.

“Are you telling me there’s been a status change?” Jude’s expression was hopeful, intent.

She had to smile at the way he phrased himself. “As a matter of fact, yes.”

“What happened?”

“I realized I want to be somewhere I belong. Not somewhere I don’t.”

“Me, too.”

“Are you there yet?”

He shook his head. “Working on it.”

“Me, too.”

They ran together in silence for a brief minute, the air crisp and sharp on their skin.

“Farrah?”

“What?”

“Am I on your radar screen now?” he asked.

“You’re in my way, actually.” She couldn’t help it. She’d missed trash-talking with Jude. Among other things.

“That’s where I want to be.”

“You sure?” As usual, he made her laugh. She’d missed laughing like that.

“I’m sure.”

“How do I know you’re not just saying this?”

“Because I was hoping I’d see you here this evening.”

“Says you.”

“It’s getting kind of warm, isn’t it?”

“What are you talking about? It’s freezing out here.” The night air was biting, inarguably cold. What did he mean?

“I gotta take this off.” He grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt and pulled it off to reveal another one underneath. Turning, he sped ahead of her.

Something was written on the back of this one, too. She strained to see what it said.

When she finally made out the words, she couldn’t believe her eyes. “Farrah—Date Me!” was spelled out across Jude’s back in big, white block letters. He must have had it made in the hopes he’d run into her.

He surged ahead. Her heart pounding, she ran behind him, thinking about the words on his shirt. They were making her run faster, but why? Was it from embarrassment or exhilaration? He’d put time and thought into putting that shirt together. He’d made a plan in the hopes he’d see her again. And he had. It was time for her to do something about it.

“Farrah, date him!” A male voice yelled out on her right as she passed under a streetlamp. They were in the final stretch now, running up Central Park West. Crowds thronged both sides of the Park Drive, cheering the runners on to the finish line ahead.

“Go Farrah,” another voice chimed in.

“Date him, Farrah. He’s up ahead!” a female voice urged.

She couldn’t believe it. People were watching, cheering her on. They were shouting out her name, urging her to date the runner ahead. It was incredibly funny, like being in a movie.

As she barreled up the straightaway, all thought left her in the final push to the end, less than 1,000 yards ahead. She breathed rhythmically, preparing to make her signature surge. Gulping in great mouthfuls of cold, sharp air, she exhaled audibly. Her plan was to catch Jude ahead so he didn’t cross the finish line before her. Beyond that she couldn’t think.

“Stay playful, stay playful,” she mentally chanted as she hurled herself toward the finish line. Unbelievably, Jude’s back loomed closer, the letters forming her name getting clearer as she closed the gap.

In another second she was almost alongside him, three strides from the finish.

“Catch him, catch him!” voices yelled from the sidelines.

“Ahhh,” she groaned into the night air as she tried to pull up to him. She stepped on her accelerator, but it was already to the floor.

Then, as if by magic, he was next to her. He had waited for her. Exactly together, his right foot hit the finish line the moment hers did.

“Great simultaneous finish!” the announcer boomed over the P.A. system.

Farrah threw her arms into the air. Next to her, Jude did the same. When she turned to look at him, she knew what she was going to say.

“Okay,” she yelled.

“Okay, what?” Jude yelled back.

“I’ll date you.”

“You’ll what?”

“I’ll date you again!”

“I can’t hear you.”

“I said yes, I’ll date you!” she hollered, her voice carrying over the crowd.

“‘Go Farrah has agreed to date him!” the announcer boomed into the P.A. system, excitedly.

A cheer went up from the crowd. As they walked through the finishers’ corral, onlookers called to them as they read the back of Jude’s T-shirt.

“She’ll date you.”

“Go on girl. Date him!”

“She said yes!”

“Good on you, gal!” an Aussie voice rang out.

“Go Farrah! Go date him.”

Jude’s warm, sweaty arm come round her back. He smelled. So did she. No better way to start the new year had ever happened to her. It was playful, exhilarating. There was nothing left to do but laugh. And get over herself.

As the race volunteer bent down to untie her sneaker knot to retrieve the scoring chip, she felt the knot of her own bondage to the past come undone. She was over it. And ready to move on.

“So when do we start?” she whispered to Jude.

“Start what?”

“Dating again?”

“What are you doing for New Year’s Eve?” he asked, his face glowing as his eyes melted into hers.

“Spending it with you.” There was no place that she would rather be.

“Sounds like a date to me.”

She laughed as his arms closed around her.

R
UNNING FROM
L
OVE

B
OOK
C
LUB
D
ISCUSSION
Q
UESTIONS

1. Blanca makes fun of Farrah for running her love life the way she runs—over cautiously. Can you relate to Farrah’s cautious personality? In what ways does she remind you of yourself or someone you know?
   
2. Jude admires women who “lack the wound,” or whose self-assured air announces to those around them that they don’t need anything. Yet he is attracted to women like Farrah, who reveal emotional vulnerability. Who are you more attracted to? Those who lack the wound or those who don’t?
   
3. Why was Farrah so attracted to Will? Was it who he really was or what he represented? Or was it how he made her feel about herself? And was that relationship ultimately good or self-destructive for Farrah?
   
4. How does Jude’s experience growing up amongst wealthy people while not being rich himself, influence him as an adult? Is he a wannabe, a rebel—or some of both? How does Farrah help him come to terms with these conflicting feelings?
   
5. Running provides Farrah with mental armor, buffering her, as William Shakespeare’s Hamlet says, from “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” that come her way. Is running an emotional crutch for her? Or is it something more?
   
6. “He’d largely taken up running because it had been a sport that hadn’t made him feel inferior. He was good at it, and it had helped him leave his problems behind” (
   Chapter Ten
   ). What does this say about Jude? Does he use the confidence he gains from running to help him better face challenges? Or does he rely on running to distract him from his problems so that he doesn’t have to deal with them?
   
7. How does losing their mothers at an early age affect both Farrah and Jude? How does it affect them differently?
   
8. What was Jude really looking for when he played his childhood game of Find the Feather? Does he find what he is looking for in Farrah?
   
9. How does Farrah’s character evolve from the beginning to the end of this story? Which events were turning points for her? What events were turning points for Jude?
   
10. In
    Chapter Ten
    , Farrah breaks through her fear of racing downhill in the Jingle Bell Trot. How does she do it? Does her running breakthrough translate into her personal life, too?
    
11. Both Jude and Farrah need to change in order to get what they really want. How does meeting Farrah help Jude to change? How does meeting Jude help Farrah to change?
    
12. Neither Farrah nor Jude have jobs they find truly satisfying. By the end of the story they both decide that it is time to make career changes. Do you think that their new career paths will help their relationship grow or drive them apart?
    
13. What do you see ahead for Farrah and Jude? Is their relationship destined to last? What further changes need to happen for each of them for their love to deepen and grow?
    
14. Which actress do you see playing the role of Farrah? Which actor do you envision in the role of Jude?